Humm I am full of UO's, I guess I'll test the waters.
When I was pregnant with DD , before knowing her sex I openly hoped for a girl. . I knew I would be slightly upset if it was a boy - but like any normal woman, I would still be overjoyed to have a boy in the end .
Many women upon hearing this would have a knee jerk reaction and tell me "as long as it's healthy that's all it matters ". Even though I knew that many of these women had their reasons to feel that way, it still was a huge pet peeve. To me it was an obvious that I wanted a healthy baby above everything else. And I didn't think I was wrong to hope for whichever sex I wanted.
@bettyvonsomethingstein I agree. Women can get very snarky on boards like these. I hope we all can keep an understanding mind that we all come from different backgrounds and all have different challenges on our lives. We all came to this board to get support during a challenging time in our lives. We just need to keep that in mind as we move forward because there will be hurt feelings speaking from experience.
I don't mind snark. I lurve me some snark. And I can TOTALLY understand why the situation I'm referring to happened, why not everyone would give someone the benefit of the doubt. All I'm saying is....me personally, I'm just gonna go with it, even if I end up looking stupid at the end, because I really, really, REALLY want to believe someone wouldn't lie about those things.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
I guess my latest UO is I'd rather give someone the benefit of the doubt and risk looking like a total idiot because, hey, at least I tried to be kind to someone who sounded like they really needed it. I'm being super cryptic....does anyone catch my drift here??
@bettyvonsomethingstein I agree whole heartedly. I think it's unfair to assume when a unique case, story or person comes along that's it's a lie. That's were unneeded hurt comes from. I love me some snark but I'm not ok with outward and unwarranted meanness.
@bettyvonsomethingstein I agree whole heartedly. I think it's unfair to assume when a unique case, story or person comes along that's it's a lie. That's were unneeded hurt comes from. I love me some snark but I'm not ok with outward and unwarranted meanness.
I just feel like I want to make it clear, I don't think anyone said anything that was necessarily unwarranted given the kind of traffic that happens over there. I totally get it.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
@bettyvonsomethingstein I agree whole heartedly. I think it's unfair to assume when a unique case, story or person comes along that's it's a lie. That's were unneeded hurt comes from. I love me some snark but I'm not ok with outward and unwarranted meanness.
I just feel like I want to make it clear, I don't think anyone said anything that was necessarily unwarranted given the kind of traffic that happens over there. I totally get it.
That's good I didn't go find it so I didn't really know. I wasreferencing the general feel of your statement. Make sense?
@bettyvonsomethingstein I agree whole heartedly. I think it's unfair to assume when a unique case, story or person comes along that's it's a lie. That's were unneeded hurt comes from. I love me some snark but I'm not ok with outward and unwarranted meanness.
I just feel like I want to make it clear, I don't think anyone said anything that was necessarily unwarranted given the kind of traffic that happens over there. I totally get it.
That's good I didn't go find it so I didn't really know. I wasreferencing the general feel of your statement. Make sense?
****stuck in quote box jail***
Yes, makes total sense
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
@bettyvonsomethingstein I agree I like snark. But there is a time and a place for it. People who catfish are looking for attention and thrive on negativity. So I don't think we should be negative and if the situation is real I would feel like an ass if I was negative to that person.
Just to add some giggles apparently as a math teacher ass autocorrects to add.
Humm I am full of UO's, I guess I'll test the waters.
When I was pregnant with DD , before knowing her sex I openly hoped for a girl. . I knew I would be slightly upset if it was a boy - but like any normal woman, I would still be overjoyed to have a boy in the end .
Many women upon hearing this would have a knee jerk reaction and tell me "as long as it's healthy that's all it matters ". Even though I knew that many of these women had their reasons to feel that way, it still was a huge pet peeve. To me it was an obvious that I wanted a healthy baby above everything else. And I didn't think I was wrong to hope for whichever sex I wanted.
Same - I am openly hoping for a girl and DH for a boy, though I'm conflicted about it, which leads me to another UO - we are planning to be one-and-done. We've talked about it a lot and really feel like that's best for our family for many reasons.
Eeeeeeeeveryone has opinions about this - "how can you not give your child a sibling", "he/she is going to be lonely/spoiled/etc", "you're NOT only going to have one, trust me." How about we only want one, and it's our decision to make? I know plenty of people who are estranged from their terrible siblings and many other onlies who are amazing thriving adults. We reserve the right to change our minds down the road, but for now this is it.
@frenchiekinplusone Honestly, I would probably just not tell people you plan to be OAD. And if they ask just smile and say, "We'll see" or something coy. It's none of their business and I can totally understand not wanting to listen to their opinions on it.
@bettyvonsomethingstein Regarding the situation that was just brought up...when you've gotten to know someone over the past year and 8 months, and privately for a year of that, it's safe to say I know how someone is and what their true colors are. I don't blame you for giving her the benefit of the doubt, I would have done the same thing in your situation, but eventually you will see her true colors too. And if for some god willing reason she changes her behavior, and how she handles situations, and things actually work out for the next group she's in then that's awesome. But for the Aug16 group, a group of 60 amazing women, she just wasn't a right fit. I wish her nothing but the best though and I wish things had worked out differently.
@bettyvonsomethingstein Regarding the situation that was just brought up...when you've gotten to know someone over the past year and 8 months, and privately for a year of that, it's safe to say I know how someone is and what their true colors are. I don't blame you for giving her the benefit of the doubt, I would have done the same thing in your situation, but eventually you will see her true colors too. And if for some god willing reason she changes her behavior, and how she handles situations, and things actually work out for the next group she's in then that's awesome. But for the Aug16 group, a group of 60 amazing women, she just wasn't a right fit. I wish her nothing but the best though and I wish things had worked out differently.
Yeah, I'm not referring to that business at all. Totally different thing.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
@beena722 That said I HATE HATE HATE that our target got rid of their cafe with the pretzels and icees and replaced it with a starbucks. UO/FFTC I hate starbucks and only drink it in a pinch
Wait, your Target got rid of the PRETZELS AND ICEES!? That's awful.
@kmalls yes because people referencing drama that happened in another BMB is so far fetched. But you're right, it's over.
Definitely not referencing that. I know I'm being cryptic. I was trying to voice my struggle without causing hurt feelings. There was a person flamed on TTGP for how she posted, and she is now on this board, and I was explaining my personal feelings on giving this person the benefit of the doubt and why i personally want to do that.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
@bettyvonsomethingstein, I completely get what you are saying. Plus, I have a child with some similar stuff going on, so I have to give someone the benefit of a doubt in this situation.
@bettyvonsomethingstein sorry, I thought you were referencing something else. I saw what happened on TTGP, I felt terrible. For everybody. I agree with giving her the benefit of the doubt.
@bettyvonsomethingstein I agree. Women can get very snarky on boards like these. I hope we all can keep an understanding mind that we all come from different backgrounds and all have different challenges on our lives. We all came to this board to get support during a challenging time in our lives. We just need to keep that in mind as we move forward because there will be hurt feelings speaking from experience.
I don't mind snark. I lurve me some snark. And I can TOTALLY understand why the situation I'm referring to happened, why not everyone would give someone the benefit of the doubt. All I'm saying is....me personally, I'm just gonna go with it, even if I end up looking stupid at the end, because I really, really, REALLY want to believe someone wouldn't lie about those things.
Just for the record, I was trying very hard to be nice in my response yesterday but I would be lying if I was to say I wasn't a bit annoyed. I know how much it hurts the women on TTGP when someone barges in and waves their BFP in everyone's face. Yes, mistakes happen... I have certainly made my fair share and have been appropriately flamed for them. I'm just a bit nerved by the repeted mention by her about what happened in TTGP. It's not doing her any favors by continually bringing it up. Those women are hurt by what she did even if it was a mistake and I don't think it's fair for her to play victim. I completely understand that her situation may involve specific challenges and I will certainly try to give her the benifit of the doubt. I'm just feeling protective of the people I have built relationships with over the past several months because I know how they are feeling too.
@JJMNO1616, I had you in mind when I posted this. I totally get it. I also have a bit of an idea of what people who don't take social cues and have other mental challenges are like, and I feel like this falls in line with that. My lame attempt at being cryptic was mostly to say, I hope no one has hard feelings over the fact that im willing to give her a chance here.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
@sweetpea236 i agree with you. I really wanted a boy but I had a girl. When we found out I went to Target to get something to reveal to our parents that we were having a girl. Well while I was standing in the baby girl section I just cried because I hated everything it was too pink and too frilly. I was already dreading people sending me frilly dresses and big bows. Yes I love my DD and I wouldn't change her for anything but sure for maybe 2 days I was a little sad. You are allowed to be sad our upset about something in your pregnancy, yes there are people out there who would do anything for a baby and not care if its a boy or a girl. It's annoying when people make comments like that, it's almost like they think you aren't allowed to have any feelings other then pure happiness. I know the first time around happiness last about 5 minutes and then it was pure fear the rest of the time along with other emotions because of those damn hormones.
@JJMNO1616, I had you in mind when I posted this. I totally get it. I also have a bit of an idea of what people who don't take social cues and have other mental challenges are like, and I feel like this falls in line with that. My lame attempt at being cryptic was mostly to say, I hope no one has hard feelings over the fact that im willing to give her a chance here.
I definitely understand what you are saying and I don't judge you at all for wanting to give her a chance. I work with people who have severe mental health disorders for a living and my sisters both have learning disabilities. I also took ASL when I was in college and had deaf professors. So I certainly get what could be at play here. However, after spending several months on this site I have also seen my fair share of trolls and catfish stroll through. Unfortunately people DO lie about some pretty horrible stuff. There was someone on here awhile back that even frauded people out of money. I'm not saying that's what is happening here but it does become tiring after awhile trying to weed through the BS. I will do my best to be open minded and understanding in this particular situation though unless I have additional reason to think otherwise.
@JJMNO1616, I had you in mind when I posted this. I totally get it. I also have a bit of an idea of what people who don't take social cues and have other mental challenges are like, and I feel like this falls in line with that. My lame attempt at being cryptic was mostly to say, I hope no one has hard feelings over the fact that im willing to give her a chance here.
I definitely understand what you are saying and I don't judge you at all for wanting to give her a chance. I work with people who have severe mental health disorders for a living and my sisters both have learning disabilities. I also took ASL when I was in college and had deaf professors. So I certainly get what could be at play here. However, after spending several months on this site I have also seen my fair share of trolls and catfish stroll through. Unfortunately people DO lie about some pretty horrible stuff. There was someone on here awhile back that even frauded people out of money. I'm not saying that's what is happening here but it does become tiring after awhile trying to weed through the BS. I will do my best to be open minded and understanding in this particular situation though unless I have additional reason to think otherwise.
I think we are on the same page, and I'm definitely sympathetic to the trolls and drive-bys and the trolls. And the trolls.
Are we talking about the "super helpful and constructive" outside site that TTGP put up to rip each other up without getting banned? Once that met the oh-so-predicatable end after being used to bully people, I never went back to TTGP. I haven't been there in 3 years because of it.
Are we talking about the "super helpful and constructive" outside site that TTGP put up to rip each other up without getting banned? Once that met the oh-so-predicatable end after being used to bully people, I never went back to TTGP. I haven't been there in 3 years because of it.
Erm, no. I can't speak to what happened on TTGP three years ago, but the current version is full of amazingly supportive, smart women. I wouldn't have made it through this TTC journey without them.
Are we talking about the "super helpful and constructive" outside site that TTGP put up to rip each other up without getting banned? Once that met the oh-so-predicatable end after being used to bully people, I never went back to TTGP. I haven't been there in 3 years because of it.
Erm, no. I can't speak to what happened on TTGP three years ago, but the current version is full of amazingly supportive, smart women. I wouldn't have made it through this TTC journey without them.
Are we talking about the "super helpful and constructive" outside site that TTGP put up to rip each other up without getting banned? Once that met the oh-so-predicatable end after being used to bully people, I never went back to TTGP. I haven't been there in 3 years because of it.
Oh, my. No, I wasn't referencing that, but I do remember it. I was a newb on TTGP before kid 1. That was every bit as bizarre and horrible as you describe.
The new TTGP seems to me like they've figured out how to maintain clever snark and helpful and accurate info while operating within the confines of human decency.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
Thanks, I seem to remember that that situation was a catfish too. I did like a lot of women on there three years ago, but had to jump ship when everyone lost their minds and put up that criticism site.
No disrespect intended for current TTGP, you guys seem really cool. I am extremely happy they found their balance and seem much closer now!
ETA: OH! Oh daaaayum I see it now. Holy bananas, this is going to be an insane board. I gotta get me some stock in a popcorn company, clearly. Though I agree that this is a wait and see issue.
Re: Unpopular Opinions
When I was pregnant with DD , before knowing her sex I openly hoped for a girl. . I knew I would be slightly upset if it was a boy - but like any normal woman, I would still be overjoyed to have a boy in the end .
Many women upon hearing this would have a knee jerk reaction and tell me "as long as it's healthy that's all it matters ". Even though I knew that many of these women had their reasons to feel that way, it still was a huge pet peeve. To me it was an obvious that I wanted a healthy baby above everything else. And I didn't think I was wrong to hope for whichever sex I wanted.
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
Just to add some giggles apparently as a math teacher ass autocorrects to add.
Eeeeeeeeveryone has opinions about this - "how can you not give your child a sibling", "he/she is going to be lonely/spoiled/etc", "you're NOT only going to have one, trust me." How about we only want one, and it's our decision to make? I know plenty of people who are estranged from their terrible siblings and many other onlies who are amazing thriving adults. We reserve the right to change our minds down the road, but for now this is it.
Married: 10/3/15
TTC: May 2017
BFP: 7/20/17
EDD: 3/29/18
challenges are like, and I feel like this falls in line with that. My lame attempt at being cryptic was mostly to say, I hope no one has hard feelings over
the fact that im willing to give her a chance here.
Youre good people, @JJMNO1616.
Married: 2/1/2012
TTC #1 since August 2016
DH SA Dec 2016: Low count (11.7 mil total motile), 5% morphology, 73% motility
Blood work June 2017: AMH 1.1 (ugh), FSH 8.4, LH: 5.2, estradiol 28 pg/ML, progesterone 7.4
HSG July 2017: tubes clear
BFP 7/24/17 - EDD 4/5/2018
The new TTGP seems to me like they've figured out how to maintain clever snark and helpful and accurate info while operating within the confines of human decency.
Thanks, I seem to remember that that situation was a catfish too. I did like a lot of women on there three years ago, but had to jump ship when everyone lost their minds and put up that criticism site.
No disrespect intended for current TTGP, you guys seem really cool. I am extremely happy they found their balance and seem much closer now!
ETA: OH! Oh daaaayum I see it now. Holy bananas, this is going to be an insane board. I gotta get me some stock in a popcorn company, clearly. Though I agree that this is a wait and see issue.