In defense of August 16

JournoGrl23 · August 2017

One last post regarding the drama last night. I didn't comment on the thread myself but I am a member of the August 16 FB group.

Aug 16 (like a lot of bump months) grew really close over the course of their pregnancy journeys. The Bump was an amazing way to meet and support each other, but it is a public forum, which is why screen names are necessary and personal information is kept close. The problem with a public forum is that at some point you begin to feel like other members are close friends and you want to share more with them. Aug 16 did migrate to a private Facebook page, where we have opened up to one another even more, supported each other through successes and failures in parenting as well as everyday life--these are our sisters. Yes, some of our moms are again expecting and have been active in other birth months and they come to the group to say, "hey check out this thread." But not in a malicious way-in fact, it is very much in the same way that all the other birth month groups were saying, "check out the March 18 thread today!" Please know that any screenshots were of comments that are on a public forum-we did NOT discuss personal information. We hold our group very close to heart and certainly did not mean to disrespect any of you. This group of moms is going to be your source of information when you are up at 2am and need a laugh or to cry. They are going to be your go to with frustrations about families and jobs and having that personal relationship is an intimidating step, but one we do not regret.

A former member informed us she no longer wanted to be a part of our group and was only remaining a member to "keep an eye on us." We no longer felt safe with her having access to our personal information and felt it was best she move on.

Pease believe that we will defend each other like family.

the_other_mother · August 2017

I'm an Aug 16 mom. I would like to add that the FB that in question yesterday was discussing the TOPIC of the thread in March. The only comment that was mentioned was the OP for context. No screen names were mentioned. No one was mocked. Screen shots of that conversation were not posted. I would personally like to add that if anyone wants call my integrity into question, please get to know a little bit about me first.

bettyvonsomethingstein · August 2017

This has been bothering me. I'm no detective, but looking at the post history of some of the people from yesterday, several of them confessed in another BMB to intentionally going to other BMBs with the purpose of pot-stirring. I'd say that's pretty malicious and not really defensible, IMO.

bettyvonsomethingstein · August 2017

the_other_mother said:

I'm an Aug 16 mom. I would like to add that the FB that in question yesterday was discussing the TOPIC of the thread in March. The only comment that was mentioned was the OP for context. No screen names were mentioned. No one was mocked. Screen shots of that conversation were not posted. I would personally like to add that if anyone wants call my integrity into question, please get to know a little bit about me first.

How about admitting in a "never have I ever" thread that you go to other BMBs to stir the pot? I'd say that's a matter of integrity.

DDRRT1982 · August 2017

Actually, that is not true. I said that I did not jive with some of the culture. I am sorry, but once I read that any person of poverty can roll up into a homeless shelter and get nicer clothes I realized how disconnected I might be from some of your values.

I also did feel like I needed to keep an eye on the thread bc it's intent became malicious. You are misrepresenting facts and it wasn't just playful dialogue. There was research, screenshots, and private messages shared about people ranging from December to March BMB.

Also, how dare you ever relate my behavior to yours or other members associated with that thread. I would never share private information and or do anything to retaliate. To say you deleted me because you are afraid of what I would do with your information is ironic because I have never once engaged in the behavior you guys have.

kiki75 · August 2017

@JournoGrl23 I haven't even read your post yet, but I'm kind of pissed that, on today of all days, you're dealing with anything other than just taking care of yourself. I guess whatever helps you to get through the day but I really just want you to be boozin' and watching happy shows right now.

DDRRT1982 · August 2017

You guys just need to apologize and we all need to move on.

TattoosandLace · August 2017

bettyvonsomethingstein said:

the_other_mother said:

I'm an Aug 16 mom. I would like to add that the FB that in question yesterday was discussing the TOPIC of the thread in March. The only comment that was mentioned was the OP for context. No screen names were mentioned. No one was mocked. Screen shots of that conversation were not posted. I would personally like to add that if anyone wants call my integrity into question, please get to know a little bit about me first.

How about admitting in a "never have I ever" thread that you go to other BMBs to stir the pot? I'd say that's a matter of integrity.

Hi. This is my thread I started as fun in my current BMB. Seeing as how some in february have multiple children and have been in multiple BMBs, it's not a stretch to say that they have gone into other BMBs once to see drama. There was no insinuation that it was a current or ongoing thing.

FTR, I'm not an Aug mom.

DDRRT1982 · August 2017

TattoosandLace said:

bettyvonsomethingstein said:

the_other_mother said:

I'm an Aug 16 mom. I would like to add that the FB that in question yesterday was discussing the TOPIC of the thread in March. The only comment that was mentioned was the OP for context. No screen names were mentioned. No one was mocked. Screen shots of that conversation were not posted. I would personally like to add that if anyone wants call my integrity into question, please get to know a little bit about me first.

How about admitting in a "never have I ever" thread that you go to other BMBs to stir the pot? I'd say that's a matter of integrity.

Hi. This is my thread I started as fun in my current BMB. Seeing as how some in february have multiple children and have been in multiple BMBs, it's not a stretch to say that they have gone into other BMBs once to see drama. There was no insinuation that it was a current or ongoing thing.

FTR, I'm not an Aug mom.

To go in and see drama is very different from adding to it.

the_other_mother · August 2017

bettyvonsomethingstein said:

This has been bothering me. I'm no detective, but looking at the post history of some of the people from yesterday, several of them confessed in another BMB to intentionally going to other BMBs with the purpose of pot-stirring. I'd say that's pretty malicious and not really defensible, IMO.

Going to another BMB to share your differing opinions on controversial topics does not equal "trolling" the boards with ill intent. There were a TON of lurkers from many different boards commenting on that thread yesterday. I personally enjoy a lively debate on different topics. I posted yesterday and shared MY honest opinions and beliefs. Feel free to read my entire post history as I have nothing to hide. I'm clearly an active contributing member of my original board as well as Feb 18.

meatballs37 · August 2017

I think you guys should be more concerned about a member who is still a March BMB mama and was participating in a private group with personal information for a year who decided threaten personal information on public forum. Not people commenting on other BMBs. If this is your main concern, you haven't been on the bump long enough or ever been in a private group. You ALL go to other boards and lurk. And that isn't a crime since this is a PUBLIC forum. What I personally will not tolerate is someone admitting she is holding onto personal information in a group to be used when she feels like it. Don't be fooled by what this poster who got booted out is saying. She isn't being truthful at all.

DDRRT1982 · August 2017

Are you talking about me?

meatballs37 · August 2017

DDRRT1982 said:

TattoosandLace said:

bettyvonsomethingstein said:

the_other_mother said:

I'm an Aug 16 mom. I would like to add that the FB that in question yesterday was discussing the TOPIC of the thread in March. The only comment that was mentioned was the OP for context. No screen names were mentioned. No one was mocked. Screen shots of that conversation were not posted. I would personally like to add that if anyone wants call my integrity into question, please get to know a little bit about me first.

How about admitting in a "never have I ever" thread that you go to other BMBs to stir the pot? I'd say that's a matter of integrity.

Hi. This is my thread I started as fun in my current BMB. Seeing as how some in february have multiple children and have been in multiple BMBs, it's not a stretch to say that they have gone into other BMBs once to see drama. There was no insinuation that it was a current or ongoing thing.

FTR, I'm not an Aug mom.

To go in and see drama is very different from adding to it.

What are you doing now? You could have easily private messaged one of the admins to discuss why you were removed, instead you threatened personal information and then blasted it on a public forum. I think YOU need to apologize.

[Deleted User] · August 2017

I've been on TB for a few years as well and have definitely gone into various BMBs to watch drama happen. Because it's sometimes really hilarious/fascinating to watch. That is fine.

But here's a rule I have held myself to and DO expect others to hold themselves to:

If you do not "go to" the BMB and have not been PERSONALLY called out then you have zero business commenting on drama. It's unhelpful and just makes everything worse.

I don't care about back stories or Facebook accounts. Just don't comment unless you are giving birth in March or we specifically say your name or group.

Okay? Okay.

hullabalou · August 2017

meatball37 said:

I think you guys should be more concerned about a member who is still a March BMB mama and was participating in a private group with personal information for a year who decided threaten personal information on public forum. Not people commenting on other BMBs. If this is your main concern, you haven't been on the bump long enough or ever been in a private group. You ALL go to other boards and lurk. And that isn't a crime since this is a PUBLIC forum. What I personally will not tolerate is someone admitting she is holding onto personal information in a group to be used when she feels like it. Don't be fooled by what this poster who got booted out is saying. She isn't being truthful at all.

Are you talking about @ddrrt1982? "I would never share private information and or do anything to retaliate. To say you deleted me because you are afraid of what I would do with your information is ironic because I have never once engaged in the behavior you guys have. " Those are her exact words above. I haven't seen anywhere where she threatened to expose anyone's personal information.

DDRRT1982 · August 2017

I am going to pray to God that you are not at all suggesting that I threatened to use personal information. If you are, you seriously have compromised moral compass. I have had people come to me asking who you guys are and I wouldn't even give them your bump screenames.

meatballs37 · August 2017

hullabalou said:

meatball37 said:

I think you guys should be more concerned about a member who is still a March BMB mama and was participating in a private group with personal information for a year who decided threaten personal information on public forum. Not people commenting on other BMBs. If this is your main concern, you haven't been on the bump long enough or ever been in a private group. You ALL go to other boards and lurk. And that isn't a crime since this is a PUBLIC forum. What I personally will not tolerate is someone admitting she is holding onto personal information in a group to be used when she feels like it. Don't be fooled by what this poster who got booted out is saying. She isn't being truthful at all.

Are you talking about @ddrrt1982? "I would never share private information and or do anything to retaliate. To say you deleted me because you are afraid of what I would do with your information is ironic because I have never once engaged in the behavior you guys have. " Those are her exact words above. I haven't seen anywhere where she threatened to expose anyone's personal information.

She said it in our private group. That's when she was removed.

DDRRT1982 · August 2017

Yes! Let's see where I ever said that.

kmalls · August 2017

#teamDDRRT1982

mdfarmchick · August 2017

And for the record, when this came up yesterday @DDRRT1982 specifically said she didn't feel comfortable calling out the specific posters or sharing the information from the Facebook thread. I can go back and find that quote for you if you need it?

ETA: @antoto I want to love tit your comment more than once.

DDRRT1982 · August 2017

Show me where I said I would share the screenshots or personal information. I brought up that you guys are sharing screenshots and personal information, but never received that k would share them. That is sick.

heatherdubrow · August 2017

I absolutely go to other boards to watch drama unfold. I don't particularly enjoy the thought of being made fun of in a Facebook group but I recognize that it happens. I did want to know who those people were, mainly for my post it lost. But I see there are some behind the scenes personal dynamics at play here that really have nothing to do with us. So I'm back to not really caring either way.

meatballs37 · August 2017

If we shared screen shots from our private group, that would be doing exactly what @DDRRT1982 threatened to do. Come in guys. Think about it. You are believing someone who was booted from a board over 60 women. I challenge you to go read our old board, our group was tame and still is. Now go read her history, most of her responses are shit stirring. If you guys want her in your fb group come d-day. I say good luck to you.

runsoncoffee · August 2017

@DDRRT1982 I'm sorry, but by coming on here... a public forum... and sharing information discussed from a private group... that IS doing the exact same thing you are complaining of. Only worse because a group of ladies trusted you enough to be a part of a private group. I believe it is you who owes an apology.

For myself, I am also a member of Aug 16 (anyone can see my history... I have nothing to hide). I commented on the thread yesterday which not everyone agreed with but to me it was no big deal, I get not everyone will agree! I have participated actively on this March board and have received lots of support, especially in the first couple weeks, and like to think I have offered support too. I truly enjoy sharing in others pregnancy joys and think it's special to be able to share with others going through the same thing. I hope this will not exclude me from participating in the future.

the_other_mother · August 2017

antoto said:

I've been on TB for a few years as well and have definitely gone into various BMBs to watch drama happen. Because it's sometimes really hilarious/fascinating to watch. That is fine.

But here's a rule I have held myself to and DO expect others to hold themselves to:

If you do not "go to" the BMB and have not been PERSONALLY called out then you have zero business commenting on drama. It's unhelpful and just makes everything worse.

I don't care about back stories or Facebook accounts. Just don't comment unless you are giving birth in March or we specifically say your name or group.

Okay? Okay.

Yeah unfortunately I think this falls under, you can't really dictate what people do in a public forum. I personally will most likely deliver in March even though I introed in the Feb board since my DD is at the very tail end of Feb. There are several members of your bmb that originally had DDs the same as mine but chose to switch to March. Although I stayed in Feb, I frequently lurk as I find a lot of the topics and info are quite relevant to me as a Feb/March cusp DD. I don't see a huge problem with commenting wherever I see fit. There are several other members of Jan that comment on Feb, Feb that comment on March, and so on.....I don't think it's a huge deal.

bettyvonsomethingstein · August 2017

antoto said:

I've been on TB for a few years as well and have definitely gone into various BMBs to watch drama happen. Because it's sometimes really hilarious/fascinating to watch. That is fine.

But here's a rule I have held myself to and DO expect others to hold themselves to:

If you do not "go to" the BMB and have not been PERSONALLY called out then you have zero business commenting on drama. It's unhelpful and just makes everything worse.

I don't care about back stories or Facebook accounts. Just don't comment unless you are giving birth in March or we specifically say your name or group.

Okay? Okay.

Well, I just want to add to that and say, don't join his community and simultaneously bash its members elsewhere. That's obviously not against any rules, but that doesn't make it any less sucky. If you're doing that, and I suspect there is someone doing that, though I haven't quite figured out who, that's really sucky, and you will forever have my side-eye.

[Deleted User] · August 2017

mdfarmchick said:

And for the record, when this came up yesterday @DDRRT1982 specifically said she didn't feel comfortable calling out the specific posters or sharing the information from the Facebook thread. I can go back and find that quote for you if you need it?

ETA: @antoto I want to love tit your comment more than once.

This. Yesterday when I cheerfully asked for screenshots (of course assuming names and pictures would be censored out) she said she would never do that.

I think her integrity is looking pretty good here.

heatherdubrow · August 2017

And I agree with @kiki75. @JournoGrl23 you don't need this drama today, love. Go booze it up and binge on Netflix, take care of yourself.

meatballs37 · August 2017

heatherdubrow said:

I absolutely go to other boards to watch drama unfold. I don't particularly enjoy the thought of being made fun of in a Facebook group but I recognize that it happens. I did want to know who those people were, mainly for my post it lost. But I see there are some behind the scenes personal dynamics at play here that really have nothing to do with us. So I'm back to not really caring either way.

Thank you. I just don't want there to be a witch hunt to these August mamas who are now March mamas because one person took a turd in the pool. It's unfair especially since it all went down privately and she decided to take it public.

the_other_mother · August 2017

It is comforting to know that DDRRT is not going to share any personal information and I sincerely appreciate that.

kmalls · August 2017

meatball37 said:

heatherdubrow said:

I absolutely go to other boards to watch drama unfold. I don't particularly enjoy the thought of being made fun of in a Facebook group but I recognize that it happens. I did want to know who those people were, mainly for my post it lost. But I see there are some behind the scenes personal dynamics at play here that really have nothing to do with us. So I'm back to not really caring either way.

Thank you. I just don't want there to be a witch hunt to these August mamas who are now March mamas because one person took a turd in the pool. It's unfair especially since it all went down privately and she decided to take it public.

Ermmm...call me crazy, but I don't think @heatherdubrow was defending you in the least. No need to thank her OR call @DDRRT1982 a turd.

[Deleted User] · August 2017

meatball37 said:

heatherdubrow said:

I absolutely go to other boards to watch drama unfold. I don't particularly enjoy the thought of being made fun of in a Facebook group but I recognize that it happens. I did want to know who those people were, mainly for my post it lost. But I see there are some behind the scenes personal dynamics at play here that really have nothing to do with us. So I'm back to not really caring either way.

Thank you. I just don't want there to be a witch hunt to these August mamas who are now March mamas because one person took a turd in the pool. It's unfair especially since it all went down privately and she decided to take it public.

Crazy concept here but if none of you who aren't actually in our BMB had commented on our threads we wouldn't have even known who you are....

So maybe if you don't want people going after you you should stay in your own lane.

smorzandoj · August 2017

kmalls said:

meatball37 said:

Thank you. I just don't want there to be a witch hunt to these August mamas who are now March mamas because one person took a turd in the pool. It's unfair especially since it all went down privately and she decided to take it public.

Ermmm...call me crazy, but I don't think @heatherdubrow was defending you in the least. No need to thank her OR call @DDRRT1982 a turd.

Calling someone a turd vs saying some took a turd in the pool = two different things.

the_other_mother · August 2017

I want to add because it has been mentioned several times now. I don't believe any member of this BMB was bashed or made fun of in any way. That's really not what is going on here, and I think that is where a lot of frustration lies when it comes to the Aug moms. It has been an unfair portrayal.

meatballs37 · August 2017

kmalls said:

meatball37 said:

heatherdubrow said:

I absolutely go to other boards to watch drama unfold. I don't particularly enjoy the thought of being made fun of in a Facebook group but I recognize that it happens. I did want to know who those people were, mainly for my post it lost. But I see there are some behind the scenes personal dynamics at play here that really have nothing to do with us. So I'm back to not really caring either way.

Thank you. I just don't want there to be a witch hunt to these August mamas who are now March mamas because one person took a turd in the pool. It's unfair especially since it all went down privately and she decided to take it public.

Ermmm...call me crazy, but I don't think @heatherdubrow was defending you in the least. No need to thank her OR call @DDRRT1982 a turd.

Crazy thought. She at least recognizes there is more than you are seeing on the surface. I sincerely hope when you guys go to your private fb groups you don't have someone like this in your group. I don't think it is something you can understand if you don't have the full picture.

kmalls · August 2017

smorzandoj said:

kmalls said:

meatball37 said:

Thank you. I just don't want there to be a witch hunt to these August mamas who are now March mamas because one person took a turd in the pool. It's unfair especially since it all went down privately and she decided to take it public.

Ermmm...call me crazy, but I don't think @heatherdubrow was defending you in the least. No need to thank her OR call @DDRRT1982 a turd.

Calling someone a turd vs saying some took a turd in the pool = two different things.

bettyvonsomethingstein · August 2017

meatball37 said:

kmalls said:

meatball37 said:

heatherdubrow said:

I absolutely go to other boards to watch drama unfold. I don't particularly enjoy the thought of being made fun of in a Facebook group but I recognize that it happens. I did want to know who those people were, mainly for my post it lost. But I see there are some behind the scenes personal dynamics at play here that really have nothing to do with us. So I'm back to not really caring either way.

Thank you. I just don't want there to be a witch hunt to these August mamas who are now March mamas because one person took a turd in the pool. It's unfair especially since it all went down privately and she decided to take it public.

Ermmm...call me crazy, but I don't think @heatherdubrow was defending you in the least. No need to thank her OR call @DDRRT1982 a turd.

Crazy thought. She at least recognizes there is more than you are seeing on the surface. I sincerely hope when you guys go to your private fb groups you don't have someone like this in your group. I don't think it is something you can understand if you don't have the full picture.

the_other_mother said:

I want to add because it has been mentioned several times now. I don't believe any member of this BMB was bashed or made fun of in any way. That's really not what is going on here, and I think that is where a lot of frustration lies when it comes to the Aug moms. It has been an unfair portrayal.

Being misconstrued or misunderstood or whatever is a risk you take when you seek out drama.

the_other_mother · August 2017

kmalls said:

smorzandoj said:

kmalls said:

meatball37 said:

Thank you. I just don't want there to be a witch hunt to these August mamas who are now March mamas because one person took a turd in the pool. It's unfair especially since it all went down privately and she decided to take it public.

Ermmm...call me crazy, but I don't think @heatherdubrow was defending you in the least. No need to thank her OR call @DDRRT1982 a turd.

Calling someone a turd vs saying some took a turd in the pool = two different things.

I think you missed the point.
Picture our FB group as a pool. Someone got kicked out of our pool. So they went to another pool, the one you and I share, and they put a turd in it. Now that's made it really difficult for you and I to share this pool.

Because of the turd.

[Deleted User] · August 2017

the_other_mother said:

I want to add because it has been mentioned several times now. I don't believe any member of this BMB was bashed or made fun of in any way. That's really not what is going on here, and I think that is where a lot of frustration lies when it comes to the Aug moms. It has been an unfair portrayal.

Hmmm I'm not sure I believe that after the way Meatball spoke to me yesterday.

I'm not sure this thread is helping your cause, you guys.

kmalls · August 2017

I think this might actually be the dumbest thread I've seen in a long time.

[Deleted User] · August 2017

the_other_mother said:

kmalls said:

smorzandoj said:

kmalls said:

meatball37 said:

Thank you. I just don't want there to be a witch hunt to these August mamas who are now March mamas because one person took a turd in the pool. It's unfair especially since it all went down privately and she decided to take it public.

Ermmm...call me crazy, but I don't think @heatherdubrow was defending you in the least. No need to thank her OR call @DDRRT1982 a turd.

Calling someone a turd vs saying some took a turd in the pool = two different things.

I think you missed the point.
Picture our FB group as a pool. Someone got kicked out of our pool. So they went to another pool, the one you and I share, and they put a turd in it. Now that's made it really difficult for you and I to share this pool.

Because of the turd.

Um. We don't share a pool. You are in the February pool.

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