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Twins/Multiples Check-In 7/23

sardavbaksardavbak member
in March 2018 Moms
Have y'all gotten over the shock yet?? I won't lie, I had a full-on, sobbing, snotty nervous breakdown the night we found out.... feeling better now after having a few days to let it sink in and become reality, but still a little panicked! 

Mostly just feeling guilty about how I feel like my 19-month old daughter is already getting the short end of the stick because I've been feeling so crappy (aka: a whole lotta screen time lately), and now I'm worried that she's never going to get enough love or attention from me ever again! 

A little intro about me: I'm 29, will be 30 when they're born. DH and I live in Northern Virginia with our daughter and Frenchie, and I am a Realtor. 
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Re: Twins/Multiples Check-In 7/23

  • CowboycorgiCowboycorgi member
    I'm glad you started this! I started one a couple days ago and no one replied, so I was worried none of the other multiple moms wanted to hang. 

    I have a 16m old, and am feeling the same guilt. We struggled for 6 yrs to have our first, so knowing we wanted a sibling we started earlier than we originally planned. Part of me is mourning the loss of an only child bond, but the other part of me knows that my daughter will personally thrive from having siblings. She is so social, I can give her what a sibling can. And honestly, it's going to take two to survive having her as an older sister! 

    Afm: my husband and I are 35, DD is 16m, and we have 2 corgis and a yard full of chickens! My husband and I both work from home. He is in IT, and I am a massage therapist/birth doula/illustrator
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  • historelizahistoreliza member
    I'm from Northern Virginia too!  I get my first sonogram tomorrow, so not sure if multiples yet, though I had my blood drawn early and had super high HCG levels.  Said it was a possibility, so we will see.  
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  • sardavbaksardavbak member
    @vaewelch my levels were high too! Maybe it is multiples! We're in PW county 
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  • sardavbaksardavbak member
    @Cowboycorgi are your symptoms worse than with your singleton pregnancy? Mine are honestly 10x worse than with my daughter.... I'm driving the struggle bus these days! 
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  • sardavbaksardavbak member
    @rweig486 I'm totally anxious about how much stuff we will have to buy! I feel like with the first people were so excited to help us with things from the registry, but I'm anxious that this time we'll be buying a lot of the bigger ticket items ourselves.... not to mention 3 in diapers! Oh man! 
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  • CowboycorgiCowboycorgi member
    @sardavbak, My nausea has been about the same, not bad at all... but the fatigue and breast pain is out of this world! I feel like I could sleep all day, and all night. I feel bad that my daughter gets so bored and I just can't take her for bike rides in this summer heat like I used to be able to do. 

    @rweig486, you are not alone. I go back and forth between excitement and crippling fear! I will also have 3 under 2, and personally don't like the newborn stage much. I'm worried it might break me physically, and possibly financially. I'm just hoping friends and family are generous with their hand me downs and baking! 
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  • artsyinndartsyinnd member
    Hi everybody! 
    Yeah this news is a bit scary for me too. My DH & I are 30 and have tried for 6 years to have a baby (8yrs married). I can not believe that I am going from years of nothing to TWO. I just feel so used to disappointment that it's hard to believe everything will work out and I'll get to take 2 babies home. I thought I would be twice as excited about twins, but I think I'm just twice as scared! We are both teachers and getting pregnant took so much of our financial resources and now the cost of meds to sustain them and potentially babies is a little concerning! I know God has provided this whole time. 
    I'm most nervous about going back to school (Aug 21) and being able to function there. I feel soooo sick in the morning and afternoon! My students already randomly and regularly ask me if I'm pregnant and I won't want to tell them right away. I'll have to come up with some creative answers. 
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  • sardavbaksardavbak member
    @artsyinnd my roughest times are morning and late afternoon/evening too - awful! 

    I'm glad you're joining our (slightly scary) multiples club! Hopefully it will get less nerve wracking as we get further into these pregnancies! 
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  • historelizahistoreliza member
    sardavbak said:
    @vaewelch my levels were high too! Maybe it is multiples! We're in PW county 



    I'm in Loudoun county, but the ultrasound yesterday only showed one baby, but it's nice to know other locals on here!
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  • missydallasmissydallas member
    @rweig486 - totally feel you.

    Hi everyone! Sorry for jumping in late - fatigue leaves no time for TB. We're still in shock - we knew it was a possibility with transferring two genetically tested embryos, but just didn't expect it to happen.

    I'm slightly panicking on all the things we'll need to buy and also questioning if I should find a different OB/GYN that has more experience in multiples. I have my first appt with my ob/gyn on Thursday - so I'm just waiting until then to feel it out.

    Anyone got any recommendations on some good twin books? I've started "When you're expecting twins, triplets, or quads" - but it's freaking me out more than helping!
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  • kmallskmalls member
    edited July 2017
    @missydallas - I don't have multiples but several of my friends do (one has triplets!) and they all say local MoMs groups were a lifesaver as far as getting great information. Try searching "moms of multiples + your area" on FB and see what pops up! 
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  • sardavbaksardavbak member
    @missydallas I just switched OBs for that reason, and because I wanted to deliver at the larger hospital that has a brand new building for maternity and kids, and the top NICU in our area. It's a further drive for me for appts, but since twins often come early I decided it was more important to be at the best facility for delivery. 
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  • missydallasmissydallas member
    @sardavbak - Good call! Having a good NICU is important. Luckily, I'm in a big city and really happy with the hospital (and it's NICU) that my OB/GYN is at - but I'm more concerned about just being able to look for signs of preterm labor, etc, properly. The book I'm currently reading talks about how a lot of OB/GYNs treat multiple pregnancies more like singleton pregnancies since they're happening more often, even though they need a little extra care.

    @kmalls - thanks for the tip! I'll try it out :smile:
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  • CowboycorgiCowboycorgi member
    @vflux33, so excited to see you here! 

    Question ladies: do we want a board leader to start a thread each week? Or should we just update this one throughout? 

    If we want a board leader, who wants to volunteer/make a recommendation? 

    I see someone is reading What to Expect-multiples. Any other good book recommendations that applies to multiple pregnancy. I keep wanting to refer to it as Plural Pregnancy... you all are my new sister wives! 
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  • vflux33vflux33 member
    @Cowboycorgi I lol'd at "sister wives"!

    I think a weekly update thread would be great since multiples present different/additional challenges and this thread may get super long if we don't do a weekly. I'm not sure we need a specific person to take on the thread-starting, but if anyone prefers that it's totally fine by me. I'd volunteer, but I'm PST so typically people want to talk in the morning before I'm able to start a thread. 
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  • missydallasmissydallas member
    @vflux33 - OMG! I didn't know you were having twins...YAY! I know you always know it's a possibility with doing IF treatments - but still, it's like OMG THERE'S TWO!

    Also - while I'd volunteer to lead - I'm terrible at checking in every day (I sometimes find the board to be overwhelming) so I don't think I'm the best candidate! @Cowboycorgi - do you want to lead? I'm more than down with that!
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  • vflux33vflux33 member
    I agree, @Cowboycorgi you'd make a great thread leader so if you are happy doing it I say go for it!
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  • breezybeebreezybee member
    Lurking from Dec BMB 
    @vflux33 OMG CONGRATS GIRL!!  And welcome to the twin mommy club :)
    I'm so happy for you!  We live kind of close to each other (I'll be moving to Marin in Oct), so if you want, we can share cool kids activities we hear of or fun mommy groups.  So exciting!
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  • vflux33vflux33 member
    Thank you @breezybee! Yes, let's definitely share local multiples info!! Where in Marin are you moving? I'm in south Sonoma county (though we may move north before EDD) so let me know if you're near here and want to discuss over a bland carby lunch. I'm trying not to do a ton of driving until MS goes away, but North Marin like Novato is pretty close. 
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  • CowboycorgiCowboycorgi member
    I have no problem starting a new thread each week so we avoid accident double posts and we can bring up fresh topics instead of catching up on hundreds of comments we missed. As the other IF girls understand, I'm used to a more intimate group so I'm hoping this Multiples group will feel a little more personal than the overwhelming feeling of the BMB. 
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  • love-mom-lifelove-mom-life member
    I'm kinda freaking out. I had a dream I was having twins. Obviously it's always a possibility. But I just can't imagine having twins. are there indications of being pregnant with multiples? I'm nine weeks
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  • artsyinndartsyinnd member
    'Sister wives' Bahaha!  :D

    Hey @vflux33! Congrats!!! I have been enjoying many a bland carby meal as well. 
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  • Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    xmasbaby15 said:
    I'm kinda freaking out. I had a dream I was having twins. Obviously it's always a possibility. But I just can't imagine having twins. are there indications of being pregnant with multiples? I'm nine weeks
    I've been having dreams on and off even before my BFP that we were having twins. They run in my family and I hyperovulate, plus my son was a twin. I'm getting real anxious over here :neutral: trying not to think about it. It seems there's something in the water for M18 moms lol
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  • breezybeebreezybee member
    Haha @vflux33, that's what I thought - Sonoma County. Funny enough, I'm moving to Novato lol. I'll pm you my email. You should join the Marin Parents of Multiples group on Facebook. They've got a ton of info there :)
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  • vflux33vflux33 member
    @breezybee Oh that's perfect! We're only like 30 min ish away (Petaluma area). Yes let's PM/email. Deactivated Facebook a year ago (I know that sounds crazy but I'm so used to not being on it now) so I may pass on that group for the time being, but if I reactivate I'll check it out!

    @Gingham Wow that's crazy! I hope everything progresses perfectly and please keep us updated about your weekly ultrasounds!  <3
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  • CowboycorgiCowboycorgi member
    @Gingham, That is amazing and terrifying at the same time, or at least that is how a lot of us feel so I'm sure you are also going through mixed emotions. 

    Im glad you are with us, and we are here for you with emotional support whenever you need us. Happy and healthy 9 months! 
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  • kitandcatkitandcat member
    @Gingham congratulations!!!! So shocking, I'm sure. Just take deep breaths and take it day by day :) DH's cousin has triplets and the mom just turned into this super organized amazing super mom.  You'll find systems and processes that work for you guys to help make it manageable. Obviously it will be so hard, but you can do it!!! The triplets are now 9 or 10 I think and they're all so smart, well behaved, super involved in sports and such... they're such sweet kids and so much fun to be around!! I bet your LOs will be the same after growing up with automatic BFFs and an amazing mom!! :-)
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  • GinghamGingham member
    Cowboycorgi said:
    @Gingham, That is amazing and terrifying at the same time, or at least that is how a lot of us feel so I'm sure you are also going through mixed emotions. 

    Im glad you are with us, and we are here for you with emotional support whenever you need us. Happy and healthy 9 months! 
    Yes, that's a great way to describe it...amazing and terrifying!  Thank you <3
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  • GinghamGingham member
    @kitandcat Thank you! <3  That is good to hear.
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  • sardavbaksardavbak member
    @Gingham if you have instagram, follow @whimsic_al - she has triplet baby girls and I love following her posts and seeing her instagram story!! She makes it look easy (which I'm sure it isn't!) but it gives me a little hope that I'll be able to handle twins and a toddler! 
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  • missydallasmissydallas member
    The only thing that is going to tell you for sure if you're having twins is an ultrasound. 
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  • missydallasmissydallas member
    @Gingham - holy cow! @cowboycorgi said it perfect - that's amazing and terrifying! But there's a reason you were chosen to be their mama - so just take it day by day!
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  • vflux33vflux33 member
    missydallas said:
    The only thing that is going to tell you for sure if you're having twins is an ultrasound. 
    Yeah this. I had a very high beta but there are other explanations for that plus all my early symptoms have been well within the range of normal judging by the symptoms thread. 
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  • sardavbaksardavbak member
    I'm being "graduated" from my RE next week, and then I have my 1st appt with my (new) OB the following week. I've started a list of Qs to ask, most specific to a twin pregnancy, but wondering if y'all have any questions that I should add to my list? 

    1. Est. delivery date (what is the # of weeks goal, if all goes according to plan?) 
    2. Any special restrictions/limitations?
    3. Weight gain goal 
    4. Are there additional appts for a twin pregnancy? Do I start coming more often earlier in the pregnancy? 
    5. Are there any genetic tests that can be done? (We did Panorama with my daughter but I know it's not useful for multiples because there is DNA from both) 

    Do y'all have any other Qs you think I should add??
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  • missydallasmissydallas member
    sardavbak said:
    I'm being "graduated" from my RE next week, and then I have my 1st appt with my (new) OB the following week. I've started a list of Qs to ask, most specific to a twin pregnancy, but wondering if y'all have any questions that I should add to my list? 

    1. Est. delivery date (what is the # of weeks goal, if all goes according to plan?) 
    2. Any special restrictions/limitations?
    3. Weight gain goal 
    4. Are there additional appts for a twin pregnancy? Do I start coming more often earlier in the pregnancy? 
    5. Are there any genetic tests that can be done? (We did Panorama with my daughter but I know it's not useful for multiples because there is DNA from both) 

    Do y'all have any other Qs you think I should add??

    Got stuck in the quote. I graduated from my RE, too - and seeing my OB/GYN today for my first appt.

    Here's what I have (outside of your questions)
    1. How many multiples have you delivered? Do you feel comfortable with delivering multiples?
    2. Do you have any standard practices around bedrest?
    3. Will you refer me to a high-risk Dr.?



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  • sardavbaksardavbak member
    @missydallas good questions!! I'll add those to my list. 

    I can't remember - what are all of the multiples Mamas due dates? I'm March 12 
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  • vflux33vflux33 member
    Great questions from you both, which I am going to steal! 

    @sardavbak I'm due March 14th. 

    Is it true that if you have 2 sacs they're fraternal and if 1 they're identical? Someone told me that outside this thread but I'm very new to all this so wanted to double check. 

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