Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
ColeBug89
member
Re: The Solids Thread!
We got the go-ahead from Ella's doctor to start solids at her 4-month check up last month, but I have been very hesitant. She will be 5 months next week and I think we are ready to start! I just have a few questions to begin and anyone please feel free to answer or add your own questions!
Do you plan on/are you buying premade baby food or making your own? Or some combination?
If you buy, are there any brands you do or do not recommend?
If you are making food, what kind(s)?
Are there certain foods your LO prefers over others?
I'll probably add more questions as I think of them...all of this is new to me as a FTM lol.
our health visitor said to introduce a max of 3 new flavours or textures a week and initially dont drop any of her bottle feeds.
we also ordered a high chair on sunday which should arrive today. We went for the stokke tripp trapp.
i have no experience so would be interested in hearing others thoughts & advice too
But my plan for solids is buying store stuff occasionally (I prefer the jars so I can reuse them!) but mostly just cook veggies/fruit and purée then in our food proccesor. We have some unopened, unexpired Gerber food that DH's coworker gave us. We'll use that too.
I have a high chair picked out, but all my Buy Buy Baby coupons just expired. I'm hoping a new one comes soon. The high chair was cheapest with them.
Just a tip, I know everything will tell you to use a high chair, but trying to spoon feed a baby in the beginning can be very difficult. They wobble and get excited or angry... We start our kids sitting in their carrier. They are slightly reclined back, and not trying to have to sit still. It made it so much easier to start them on spoon feeding. Once they were getting the hang of it, we put them in the high chair. Obviously I'm not a Dr but I thought if anyone has difficulties in the high chair, they might want to try it. Of course if you don't want to or want to ask the Dr, do so.
https://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/25/health/many-babies-fed-solid-food-too-soon-cdc-finds.html
https://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/infantfeeding_recommendation/en/
"As a global public health recommendation, infants should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health." -WHO (World Health Organization)
https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/faq/index.htm
"Breast milk alone is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months after birth. For these very young infants, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) states that water, juice, and other foods are generally unnecessary. Even when babies enjoy discovering new tastes and textures, solid foods should not replace breastfeeding, but merely complement breast milk as the infant's main source of nutrients throughout the first year. Beyond one year, as the variety and volume of solid foods gradually increase, breast milk remains an ideal addition to the child's diet.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mother and baby desire. The World Health Organization recommends continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond." -CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)
https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/129/3/e827.short
The American Academy of Pediatrics reaffirms its recommendation of exclusive breastfeeding for about 6 months, followed by continued breastfeeding as complementary foods are introduced, with continuation of breastfeeding for 1 year or longer as mutually desired by mother and infant." -AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics)
BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
Per AAP:
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/feeding-nutrition/Pages/Switching-To-Solid-Foods.aspx
"Is he big enough? Generally, when infants double their birth weight (typically at about 4 months of age) and weigh about 13 pounds or more, they may be ready for solid foods."
"...If your baby has been mostly breastfeeding, he may benefit from baby food made with meat, which contains more easily absorbed sources of iron and zinc that are needed by 4 to 6 months of age. Check with your child's doctor."
"There is no evidence that waiting to introduce baby-safe (soft), allergy-causing foods, such as eggs, dairy, soy, peanuts, or fish, beyond 4 to 6 months of age prevents food allergy. If you believe your baby has an allergic reaction to a food, such as diarrhea, rash, or vomiting, talk with your child's doctor about the best choices for the diet."
Me: 37 - H: 39
TTC#1: 01/2016
BFP: 06/18/2016 - EDD: 02/20/2017 - Born: 01/27/2017
Whats with the judgey lecture?
also, my child is eff so i must be the absolute worst cause i also tried her with some baby rice last week too.
Eta: my husband is a general practice doctor with a diploma in child health so meh
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
1) Sometimes I think about questioning my child's doctor...but then I think "mmm, better not."
2) Sometimes I think about criticizing the decisions other moms make for their kids, but then I think "mmm, better not."
And just incase you didn't get the message, sometimes I think about posting stupid crap on the internet to make other people who just wanted to talk about solid food for kids feel bad,
BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
If you said "oh, I'm waiting until 6 months because of these guidelines" nobody would have batted an eyelash.
"No, just no" stfu you were absolutely trying to be a wench
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
I thought this thread would be a great way to ask questions or get different experiences in anticipation of many mom's starting their babies on solids in the near future.
If a mom decides to start solids at 2 months or 12 months, it's not my place to judge, but if she had any questions I would be more than glad to help (with my limited knowledge of course lol). Starting solids can be an overwhelming experience, especially for FTM's who have never done this before.
I do appreciate the multiple posts that site the AAP and their recommendation of 6 months. Maybe that's helped a FTM decide to wait a bit longer. I do not appreciate posts that make others feel judged for wanting to start their babies on solids earlier.
Every situation is different and I might think starting solids at 5 and 1/2 months is what's best for my DD. She will still be getting all of her regular feedings, but with some solids added. Solids will not replace any of her meals. Which all falls within the AAP guidelines.
If anyone on this thread were doing anything crazy - like giving a freshly born baby rice cereal - I'm sure we would have politely tried to steer the mom away from that suggestion. At least from my limited knowledge as a FTM, I feel like everyone who previously posted was following doctor or AAP guidelines and doing what they thought was best for their LO.
Me: 37 - H: 39
TTC#1: 01/2016
BFP: 06/18/2016 - EDD: 02/20/2017 - Born: 01/27/2017
I have severe food allergies.... so whenever we start it will be slooooow and careful!
As previous posters have said, if you had phrased your statement differently it would have been taken as a respectful contribution to the conversation and we would have welcomed the differing opinion. Instead, you came into a thread and passed judgement on moms who are all just doing the best they can for their littles and have the blessing of the doctor acquainted with the child's developmental progress.
We will be making our own puree's. A family friend got us a super fancy Beaba baby food maker which is awesome and should be so much better than our sad old and busted magic bullet we were planning on using, haha!
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
TTC #1: 3/2016
Me 39 - DH 44
BFP 5/27/16 EDD 1/30/17
DD born 2/3/17
she did take an alergic reaction to peaches & banana so im hoping that it was the peaches rather than banana in it! Ill wait until the rash is fully cleared and try some banana on its own.
We're going to start on meats next week. For those of you who have started that, how have you gone about it? The instructions I have in my baby food book are to basically cook up ground meat in stock then puree it... but that sounds nasty. Any other approaches you guys have?
@poetryandoceans we haven't tried meats yet, but everything I've read says to do it just like you said. It doesn't sound too appetizing though!