What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)? Unmedicated at hospital (or medicated, just going with the flow!)
FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before? Yes - I have had one very textbook birth with an epidural and one accidental car baby. Here are the birth stories from each:
DD1 (May 2012): I was so uncomfortable with DD1 and wanted her OUT! I was walking a ton, BD'ing as much as I could stand, eating pineapple, red raspberry leaf tea etc, but was devastated when I woke up on my due date with no labor pains. I remember making DH drive an hour to the doctors because I was hoping that that pee leaking was actually water breaking (it wasn't). That afternoon around 4:30 I was about a mile into walking my dog when I felt the tiniest real contraction. It was the first time I had felt a real contraction. The contractions were getting stronger and closer together and i think we went to the hospital around 10/11 that night. I could hardly walk into the hospital and wanted an epidural immediately. I remember lying on the table waiting for the most to check my cervix (I was a 4) and not wanting anybody to talk to me or touch me. DH and I had agreed upon the epidural so that it would be a peaceful, bonding experience. I think I had it by 12:30 (only bad part was trying not to move through contractions) and they told us to get some sleep. The midwife woke us up around 4 and told us it was time to have a baby. Gemma was born at 4:39 weighing 7lbs 5oz. I ended up with a third degree tear, which was very painful for about two weeks. Epidural recovery took about 3 hours.
DD2 (January 2015): I could not wait for Gemma to have a sibling and stopped breastfeeding her at 13 months to try and get my period back. It took longer than I expected, but I was so excited to get a BFP about 7 months later. However, I ended up with 3 first trimester losses in a row and found myself at a fertility clinic. The first round of clomid worked, but of course I never felt pregnant with her and was a nervous wreck the whole time. I was also in no rush to evict her (I had stuff to do at work and that second pregnancy in general felt so much shorter), but my fundal height stopped increasing and was on the smaller side, so my midwife suggested I visit our mutual acupuncturist for an "induction" treatment (at 38.5 weeks). I don't think she did the most extreme levels of treatment possible (my sister's son was measuring really small and she got needles with electric pulses for her induction effort before she ultimately needed pitocin), but I was massaging those intradermal needles for the next few days every chance I got so I'm not sure if acupuncture played a role in the precipitous labor or not.
Two days after my acupuncture appointment I woke up around 3am feeling funny. No pain, just a little crampy, and I could not go back to sleep. TMI, but I had slightly loose bowels, which for someone who is usually as constipated as I am it was definitely a sign. I told DH I felt "funny", but it definitely wasn't as obvious as the contractions I felt with DD1. He had meetings at work that day and I didn't want to "cry wolf" if I wasn't sure it was the real thing so we headed into work (1hr+ drive into Boston). The contractions picked up slightly in the car and I got so excited, but then I got to work and they disappeared. They were kind of on and off all morning, and when we went for a walk at lunch I found myself slightly needing to hold on to walls when a contraction came so we decided to head home. The hospital and my midwife's office were on the way home, but the contractions disappeared entirely in the car ride home. We drove right by the hospital and I wouldn't let DH stop because I was feeling nothing and was not going to get turned away by L&D (stubborn STM here who thought she knew what real labor was this time). We got home and were talking to my nanny while DD1 and her niece were napping, when a super strong contraction came out of nowhere. I found myself needing to be vocal about the pain for the first time and then apologized to my nanny saying "You're never going to want to get pregnant now." My nanny then laughed and told me that actually her period was a week late and she was taking a test that night (she was pregnant, one of my favorite parts of the story). I went upstairs to get changed out of work clothes and the contractions got stronger. My doctor's office called to remind me of an upcoming NST the next day and I told them I thought I might be in labor, but could hardly talk and am not sure I was making sense. I'm not sure if I told them I was making my way to the hospital or not. I also felt the urge to sit on the toilet and a ton of blood came out, which I think might have been the cervix? I have no idea in retrospect why I was bleeding, but at that point I just knew I needed to get to the hospital. I practically had to crawl down the stairs and to the car and told DH that I wasn't sure if we were going to make it or not. (We both thought I was exaggerating.) In the car I lost track of timing contractions. I think I told DH they were like 10 minutes apart and the baby was never going to be born, but in reality I think they were less than a minute apart and I was delirious. I was swearing like a sailor and writhing in my seat. I remember two things: 1) the terrified look DH was giving me every time he looked over at the passenger seat and 2) dreading how long it would take to go from reception to the epidural. About 15 minutes into the 30 minute drive I felt the overwhelming urge to pull down my pants and stand up. I don't think I even pushed and her head came out while I was trying to stand up in the car. DH pressed the On Star button in the car who called the local emergency services for us. I remember being slightly concerned because I expected her to cry when her head was out, but I guess that doesn't really happen until they are all the way out. DH had to cross 3 lanes of traffic at a right angle and pulled into a parking spot at a Dunkin Donuts. He parked and ran to my side of the car just as the baby came flying out. My water broke at the same time, which actually helped the cleaning situation. DH cradled her in his shirt and On Star was trying to tell us how to deliver the baby and he just kept yelling "She's already here! The baby is born." She cried right away. They told him to get a blanket and something to tie off the umbilical cord. He found a towel we kept for DD1's potty training accidents and he tied off the cord with an iphone charger. We both sat in the passenger seat holding the baby until the first police office showed up. When a cop came we rolled down our window, they looked at the baby and said she looked good and to wait for the firefighters with a clamp for the cord. So she was clamped by firefighters and then we were eventually loaded onto an ambulance. I wouldn't let them cut off my maternity clothes and was able to take my boots/pants off with the placenta still inside of me and the baby still attached.
I was so proud of my little bundle as I was pushed through emergency and up to L&D. DH was left behind to drive the car to the hospital and figure out how to clean it. I guess I feel bad for how shaken he must have been in retrospect. Aveline (inspired by Gaelic Aibhlinn, which means much wanted child after the 3 losses) weighed 6lb2oz and I'm not sure we know exactly what time she was born! She latched immediately and I was able to take a shower right away and I felt like I could have gone right back to work - it was amazing. Everybody thought I should have been more traumatized, but really it happened so quickly and everything turned out okay. As we prepare for this delivery, DH definitely has major anxiety about making it to the hospital on time, and it is slightly rubbing off on me. My main anxiety though is hoping that my labor is as fast as it was last time so that my recovery is as fast, but I'm not really expecting to be so lucky.
DD1 is getting very annoyed at me right now for typing this and it is probably already too long so I will end it there! Apologies for incorrect grammar and run-on paragraphs
@donehue that car birth story is amazing! i can barely remember anything about DDs birth other than she came very quickly and i bled a lot. im worried about getting to the birth center on time because of how fast DD was born (3hours after we got there) and we are a little over an hour away from the center.
@donehue holy crap! What incredible stories! Thank you for sharing! I just read in one of my birthing books, talking about what to do if baby is coming in the car and it said, "just because baby isn't born in a hospital doesn't mean it's an emergency!" So that's probably why you're chill about it.
Silly question but with birth #1, how did your nurse know to wake you up and that it was time for baby to come? The timing of your contractions?
Did you not tear with #2? I've heard that once baby is crowning to NOT push and let her gently come out to avoid tears, which sounds like what you did.
As a FTM, I'm so fascinated that your physical labor sensations were so different with the two!
Did you not tear with #2? I've heard that once baby is crowning to NOT push and let her gently come out to avoid tears, which sounds like what you did.
This sounds great and all. But my urge to push was so overwhelming there was NO stopping it. My body just took over completely.
What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)? Home Birth (wasn't planning on it- wanted a birth center but couldn't find one under an hour, found a midwife I liked, so decided to try for a HB)
FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before? STM. My first was medicated for pain management and had an epidural at about 9 cm (got the needle before they could check).
GTKY: What made you choose an unmedicated birth and how are you preparing? My experience at hospital is definitely not one I want to repeat, too rushed and lack of open communication. I was traumaized and struggled to process the experience. I fell hard into PPD. Still recovering from it over a year and half later. So home birth and slow progress for me this time. (Naturally, I will have a plan B, plan C in place.)
@mrsmatt1212 I think the nurse must have checked my cervix (I was prob half awake) to know that it was go time. The best part about delivery #1 was definitely the fact that it was in the hospital and it was a very peaceful, wonderful experience. When my daughter was born it was just my husband and midwife in the room and we had plenty of alone time and skin to skin time after the birth.
I got one stitch I think for superficial reasons after delivery #2, but I was never in any pain afterwards (very different compared to the first). I definitely was not trying to push (probably the opposite)!
The different labor sensations blow my mind too. I would love to hear other moms of 2+ share their different experiences! I have no idea what to expect for this one. It doesn't help that the extreme Braxton Hicks I've been feeling for like two months are almost the same strength as some of the earlier contractions I experienced the second time around so they are such a mind game right now! (Midwife confirmed they are not doing anything though, but I think/hope my body is gearing up for a speedy round 3!)
What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)? Unmedicated at hospital
FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before? FTM
GTKY: What made you choose an unmedicated birth and how are you preparing? I've had 2 epidurals in the past for prior hip surgeries. The migraine in the days following those was unreal. After removal of the epidurals hey wanted me out of bed to start walking and I couldn't. Each one I had about 12 hr recovery before I had enough sensation in my legs to try and walk. From my standpoint, I'd rather feel what's going on with baby and be able to move soon after.
At the hospital tour, the nurse anesthetist said that about 70% of deliveries are medicated by some sort and considering there is only one OB office in town (all women have to have at least one appointment with every OB before delivery), if say it's pretty well supported that women can choose medicated/unmedicated. The nurse anesthetist also said that she is comfortable giving an epidural at any point during the labor, even if you are between 8-10 cm as long as you can avoid "bearing down" during contractions so she can correctly place it.
That being said, I do hope to go unmedicated and feel that my doctors will be accommodating. DH knows my plans and is my biggest advocate. He knows what pain I can and cannot handle so I am comfortable with him knowing whether or not I am making the best decision at the time. And worse case scenario, I decide I ultimately need one, I can try to relax enough for one.
@lewliv maybe ask your midwives? Mine are trained as doulas as well as being midwives (required for them to get into the midwifery school here) so I'm not having an extra doula, but only because of cost. If it was cheap or free I'd definitely have one hah! Also find out if there will be student midwives or birth attendants on top of your midwives being there; often they'll serve the same purpose as a doula.
What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)? unmedicated in the hospital (only thing my insurance will pay for)
FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before? FTM
GTKY: What made you choose an unmedicated birth and how are you preparing? I am a pharmacist, so therefore, I know about how little they really know about medications. I have heard so many stories about medications not working how they are supposed to that I want to try to avoid them if possible. My midwife and DH are in full support. After doing a lot of reading, I feel like an unmedicated birth could be a once in a lifetime experience that not everyone even has the chance to experience. When I first got pregnant, I was terrified of giving birth, and while I"m not 100% confident, I am looking forward to seeing how it all goes down/how my body responds.
@emilyrose807 so we just finished the Bradley book (Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way). It's super outdated, so I only recommend the middle chunk because it's not up to date on current hospital practices. I think it was pretty beneficial. I feel like we learned the most about the physiology of labor from that, and partially some comfort techniques.
We're in the middle of the book Mindful Childbirth which I looooove and I do think the two work well together. DH and I had to do a homework assignemnt called Being With Pain, where you hold ice cubes in your hands for 60 seconds and try different mindfulness practices (focusing on the breath, body scan, etc) to see what works well for you. It was totally helpful!
My biggest complaint about Bradley is that it can come across as very rigid. DH struggled when I'd be like "hey this is great but we might find that we don't want to do this or that in labor" and he's all "but the book says!" So just being open minded about Bradley can help
@emilyrose807 I haven't yet! I'm rereading Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth at the moment. Hoping to get to it this summer!
Any STM+ utilize chiropractic care (Webster technique) during pregnancy and notice a difference in labors/have faster labors? I've started seeing my chiro every two weeks until DS2 gets here. Hoping to see a difference!
Yay, I just got (from the Library) those two mindfulness books that came recommended. Looking forward to reading them.
Fun fact, when I told DH I was seriously considering a drug/intervention-free labor/birth he laughed and said, "It's your funeral." Then went on to say he supported me in whatever choice I wanted. I said I reserved the right to change my mind and ask for epidural. ;-) He only laughed because he thinks I'm not the best with pain (which might be true, some of the baby's kicks have made me gasp or even yelp so he's like, realllllly?).
@mrsmatt1212 I will have to see if they have that at my library. DH told me to stop reading so many books about childbirth. Haha. We also did the ice cube experiment in our childbirth classes, and I found that visual and auditory was the most distracting for me. Taste and smell not at all. What about you?
@lyndshurt If you can get Spiritual Midwifery from your library, you don't have to read the whole thing to get a good idea about it. The first 233 pages are stories from when they first started delivering babies. That is really where you want to start. Each story is about a page long. There are stories about women who delivered babies in the back of vans on the side of the road. To me, it was very empowering, because I felt like if they could do that, then I could definitely do it with all the knowledge we have now and the access that I have to help and care.
Yay, I just got (from the Library) those two mindfulness books that came recommended. Looking forward to reading them.
Fun fact, when I told DH I was seriously considering a drug/intervention-free labor/birth he laughed and said, "It's your funeral." Then went on to say he supported me in whatever choice I wanted. I said I reserved the right to change my mind and ask for epidural. ;-) He only laughed because he thinks I'm not the best with pain (which might be true, some of the baby's kicks have made me gasp or even yelp so he's like, realllllly?).
I had to laugh at this because DH has said the same thing since I don't want the epidural lol. He did tell me he knows I can go without it if it's something I want to do but then laughs everytime I grab my stomach or make some noise about how the baby moves.
@lyndshurt since it was my first i cant actually compare - but i had chiro throughout my pregnancy with DD1, and had a 4 hour, very straight forward labour without needing any pain meds (by the time i was asking for them i was already 8cm and started pushing about 20 mins later) i like to think that Chiro had something to do with it since that is that is very good labour length/experience for a first timer. Even my midwife was pleasantly surprised with how straight forward it was for a ftm.
Thanks for the feedback @clairemwalker! That is a fast labor for a FTM. My first one wasn't long by any means (early labor = 10 hours, active labor = 6 hours), but I'm always down for anything that will make it shorter and smoother
@emilyrose807 I love those kinds of stories! Well I should say, I love birth stories in general. Sounds right up my alley!
@lewliv - what did you think of Mindful Mom-to-be? I might take a page out of @DeansGirl14's book and check it out of the local library. I'm not sure if I want to have an unmedicated birth yet but I feel like the information will be helpful either way.
@kvh22 the book is a bit too granola for my taste but I really like that it's very practical. In every chapter there are suggestions of meditation exercises, diary exercises, foods & recipes, yoga poses, etc to deal with different aspects of pregnancy. There are also recipes for house cleaners, cosmetics, and natural remedies. Overall, I do recommend the book.
As we are getting closer to the end I thought I would check in and see how everyone is doing with their preparations.
I am trying for a med free hospital birth which is what I had with DS. I was going back and forth about hiring a doula, as much as I loved mine last time it is such a big expense and our insurance delectable is much larger. But DH really wanted one so I managed to get that all lined up even if it was a little last minute.
I also did a private birth prep class which was really helpful to go over what I would like to change and what I can do to prepare more. Plus some breathing and yoga exercises to work on. I have also started meditating every night before bed.
Now if I can get my house clean and hospital bag packed I might feel ready.
Question: The doula I found is still working on finishing up her training hours so we can not pay her. I am comfortable with the lack of full doula status, I just want someone there as back up support since we will be in a hospital surrounded by medical professionals. I just don't know what is appropriate etiquette wise to do for her. I am assuming she can't accept money even if we tried to give it, but I was thinking some thank you gift cards might be appropriate. Any advice or ideas?
@shyviolet I'd do gift cards or a gift basket! I think that would be plenty and well-appreciated.
I'm 34+2 and reaallllyyy ready to have this baby (just tired and uncomfortable), but can't do a homebirth until 37 weeks so she needs to stay put at least until then!
We got our birth tub and birth kit (just consists of things that are one time use like chucks pads, iodine scrubs, etc---our midwives bring all the "real" equipment like oxygen, drugs, etc.) in the mail this week so feeling super ready there. Just have a few random things to get like hoses, more pads, and food to have on hand and we should be all set.
Really feeling like "let's do this!" It's like the days leading up to a race when you know you can't train anymore but you also have to wait for race day to go do it.
Those of you who are having/have had a home birth ( @lyndshurt@clairemwalker@thistle8677 and others I'm missing), did you pack/are you packing a contingency hospital bag?
On one hand I feel like it's Murphy's law (if I don't pack it, I'll end up needing it), but on the other hand it seems like packing it puts me "one foot out the door" already. We're only about 20 minutes from the hospital, so DH could go back home after and grab anything, but I'm also type-A and like to have things ready. Thoughts?
@mrsmatt1212 - not sure if you're thinking of having a bag more for between now and when you hit 37 weeks or if you needed to go to the hospital during your homebirth for some other reason. I fall more in the Murphy's law camp, myself so I'd say pack it but I think that's a personal preference. I think maybe a small bag with the delivery and immediate post delivery essentials and comfortable clothes for your husband would be good unless this messes with your head too much, but you don't need the mommy bag of stuff for after if you think DH would be fine to go home.
@kvh22 both I guess? I don't think I'll go before 37, so mainly for if we have to transfer. Asking my midwife for her opinion at tonight's prenatal since they might have a policy or something. But I think having some of the essentials would be helpful to have in one location anyway just in case, and so I don't have to explain to DH or anyone else where 20 different things are!
I'm planning my third home birth and I usually do pack a small bag. I leave it in the car and have it just in case. It doubles as an emergency bag for now, in case I have an accident (as in pee my pants when I sneeze or something), or if my water unexpectedly breaks. I figure better to have an extra set of clothes in the back just in case. I have an extra outfit, toothbrush and deodorant, and a few things like that. I don't pack anything for baby because I have family that would just stop and pick up what we needed if we ended up needing to go into hospital or anything.
I'm only 33 weeks (end of August due date) so I feel like I have a long way to go compared to everyone else in the BMB. That being said, I am so hot/tired that I am starting to feel ready too. I am not prepared for him to come yet by any means, but physically I am over it. I think it's the heat down here in south Texas more than anything. Also, my LO is still doing flips 2-3 a day. He's crazy and it's so uncomfortable/gives me some anxiety about his position since I'm planning a home birth. My midwife/chiropractor aren't concerned at all so I'm trying not to worry about it. It's just very different from my last pregnancy.
I did have the diaper bag packed with some essentials just in case we had to go to the hospital. We only live 10 minutes away though so I wasn't super thorough about what I put in there. Just the basics.
@mrsmatt1212 Reading your list of everything needed for a home birth makes me even happier about my hospital choice. There is so much more prep work I am going to feel accomplished if I have the crib up before I go into labor.
Thanks for the advice. I bought a gift card to Trader Joe's yesterday and will buy another one for something more fun in town. That way it is easy to give to her in a Thank You card.
I am slacking a little (like all things related to baby #3) and am just starting to really prep myself to aim for a med free birth. One of the most helpful things I have read recently was to use all of the BH (especially the ones accompanied by period cramps) as practice for relaxing during contractions. I've been trying to "enjoy' the sensation and not tense up against it. I seriously want them to come even more often now so that I can get some good practice.
Is anybody here using meditation or aromatherapy to help manage labor? I think I'm going to be packing lavender massage oil, but I'm wondering if there are any other scents that might help? I also downloaded the Headspace (meditation) app as I thought that was supposed to have a pregnancy/labor series, but I didn't see it.
I'm an acupuncture addict and will have weekly appointments starting next week, where we will eventually be "opening the doors" for l&d. I'm pretty sure that contributed to my fast labor last time. Part of me is so tempted to try and get acupuncture during labor (and/or a doula), but then another part of me is afraid that if #3 is even faster than #2 then there is no point in having all these people on call.
How else are people preparing to cope with labor without meds? (DH is going to try and force an epidural on me the entire time so I need to have all of my own coping mechanisms ready to go! My acupuncturist said this is normal as it is really hard to watch someone you love appear to be in so much pain.)
@donehue I have been doing meditation and some aromatherapy. I used the deep meditation breaths during a painful cramp the other day and found it very helpful in relaxing my body. I am not a big scent person so I am using a mild lemongrass/beach smell. I figure thinking of the beach could only help. I loved having a doula last time, but I hesitated this time. I had a quick labor as well and didn't know how much I would get out of it. DH really pushed for one so I decided it do it. It could be hard on her if you and your husband want different things, but it might be nice for you to have the support. Also maybe talking with one would help your husband come around.
@donehue This will probably sound terribly naive, but I'm going to wing it to cope with labor without meds. I know you're a runner too, and I think about the several marathons I've run (and other distances that for whatever reason got difficult) and the mind tricks I played with myself to put pain aside and get through the final miles. I've had mantras, I've "let the pain go" (acknowledged it, and separated from it), I've given myself pep talks. Sure, labor's probably going to be more like the Badwater Ultra than your standard marathon but I hope I already have enough practice with mind tricks to control my flight-or-fight responses to pain, and to remind myself that the labor pain/pressure is transformational and not bad, etc. Fingers crossed.
Re: Homebirth/Birth Center Mamas
What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)? Unmedicated at hospital (or medicated, just going with the flow!)
FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before? Yes - I have had one very textbook birth with an epidural and one accidental car baby. Here are the birth stories from each:
DD1 (May 2012): I was so uncomfortable with DD1 and wanted her OUT! I was walking a ton, BD'ing as much as I could stand, eating pineapple, red raspberry leaf tea etc, but was devastated when I woke up on my due date with no labor pains. I remember making DH drive an hour to the doctors because I was hoping that that pee leaking was actually water breaking (it wasn't). That afternoon around 4:30 I was about a mile into walking my dog when I felt the tiniest real contraction. It was the first time I had felt a real contraction. The contractions were getting stronger and closer together and i think we went to the hospital around 10/11 that night. I could hardly walk into the hospital and wanted an epidural immediately. I remember lying on the table waiting for the most to check my cervix (I was a 4) and not wanting anybody to talk to me or touch me. DH and I had agreed upon the epidural so that it would be a peaceful, bonding experience. I think I had it by 12:30 (only bad part was trying not to move through contractions) and they told us to get some sleep. The midwife woke us up around 4 and told us it was time to have a baby. Gemma was born at 4:39 weighing 7lbs 5oz. I ended up with a third degree tear, which was very painful for about two weeks. Epidural recovery took about 3 hours.
DD2 (January 2015): I could not wait for Gemma to have a sibling and stopped breastfeeding her at 13 months to try and get my period back. It took longer than I expected, but I was so excited to get a BFP about 7 months later. However, I ended up with 3 first trimester losses in a row and found myself at a fertility clinic. The first round of clomid worked, but of course I never felt pregnant with her and was a nervous wreck the whole time. I was also in no rush to evict her (I had stuff to do at work and that second pregnancy in general felt so much shorter), but my fundal height stopped increasing and was on the smaller side, so my midwife suggested I visit our mutual acupuncturist for an "induction" treatment (at 38.5 weeks). I don't think she did the most extreme levels of treatment possible (my sister's son was measuring really small and she got needles with electric pulses for her induction effort before she ultimately needed pitocin), but I was massaging those intradermal needles for the next few days every chance I got so I'm not sure if acupuncture played a role in the precipitous labor or not.
Two days after my acupuncture appointment I woke up around 3am feeling funny. No pain, just a little crampy, and I could not go back to sleep. TMI, but I had slightly loose bowels, which for someone who is usually as constipated as I am it was definitely a sign. I told DH I felt "funny", but it definitely wasn't as obvious as the contractions I felt with DD1. He had meetings at work that day and I didn't want to "cry wolf" if I wasn't sure it was the real thing so we headed into work (1hr+ drive into Boston). The contractions picked up slightly in the car and I got so excited, but then I got to work and they disappeared. They were kind of on and off all morning, and when we went for a walk at lunch I found myself slightly needing to hold on to walls when a contraction came so we decided to head home. The hospital and my midwife's office were on the way home, but the contractions disappeared entirely in the car ride home. We drove right by the hospital and I wouldn't let DH stop because I was feeling nothing and was not going to get turned away by L&D (stubborn STM here who thought she knew what real labor was this time). We got home and were talking to my nanny while DD1 and her niece were napping, when a super strong contraction came out of nowhere. I found myself needing to be vocal about the pain for the first time and then apologized to my nanny saying "You're never going to want to get pregnant now." My nanny then laughed and told me that actually her period was a week late and she was taking a test that night (she was pregnant, one of my favorite parts of the story). I went upstairs to get changed out of work clothes and the contractions got stronger. My doctor's office called to remind me of an upcoming NST the next day and I told them I thought I might be in labor, but could hardly talk and am not sure I was making sense. I'm not sure if I told them I was making my way to the hospital or not. I also felt the urge to sit on the toilet and a ton of blood came out, which I think might have been the cervix? I have no idea in retrospect why I was bleeding, but at that point I just knew I needed to get to the hospital. I practically had to crawl down the stairs and to the car and told DH that I wasn't sure if we were going to make it or not. (We both thought I was exaggerating.) In the car I lost track of timing contractions. I think I told DH they were like 10 minutes apart and the baby was never going to be born, but in reality I think they were less than a minute apart and I was delirious. I was swearing like a sailor and writhing in my seat. I remember two things: 1) the terrified look DH was giving me every time he looked over at the passenger seat and 2) dreading how long it would take to go from reception to the epidural. About 15 minutes into the 30 minute drive I felt the overwhelming urge to pull down my pants and stand up. I don't think I even pushed and her head came out while I was trying to stand up in the car. DH pressed the On Star button in the car who called the local emergency services for us. I remember being slightly concerned because I expected her to cry when her head was out, but I guess that doesn't really happen until they are all the way out. DH had to cross 3 lanes of traffic at a right angle and pulled into a parking spot at a Dunkin Donuts. He parked and ran to my side of the car just as the baby came flying out. My water broke at the same time, which actually helped the cleaning situation. DH cradled her in his shirt and On Star was trying to tell us how to deliver the baby and he just kept yelling "She's already here! The baby is born." She cried right away. They told him to get a blanket and something to tie off the umbilical cord. He found a towel we kept for DD1's potty training accidents and he tied off the cord with an iphone charger. We both sat in the passenger seat holding the baby until the first police office showed up. When a cop came we rolled down our window, they looked at the baby and said she looked good and to wait for the firefighters with a clamp for the cord. So she was clamped by firefighters and then we were eventually loaded onto an ambulance. I wouldn't let them cut off my maternity clothes and was able to take my boots/pants off with the placenta still inside of me and the baby still attached.
I was so proud of my little bundle as I was pushed through emergency and up to L&D. DH was left behind to drive the car to the hospital and figure out how to clean it. I guess I feel bad for how shaken he must have been in retrospect. Aveline (inspired by Gaelic Aibhlinn, which means much wanted child after the 3 losses) weighed 6lb2oz and I'm not sure we know exactly what time she was born! She latched immediately and I was able to take a shower right away and I felt like I could have gone right back to work - it was amazing. Everybody thought I should have been more traumatized, but really it happened so quickly and everything turned out okay. As we prepare for this delivery, DH definitely has major anxiety about making it to the hospital on time, and it is slightly rubbing off on me. My main anxiety though is hoping that my labor is as fast as it was last time so that my recovery is as fast, but I'm not really expecting to be so lucky.
DD1 is getting very annoyed at me right now for typing this and it is probably already too long so I will end it there! Apologies for incorrect grammar and run-on paragraphs
DD#1: 5/29/12
DD#2: 1/14/15
Baby #3 on the way due 8/19/17
Silly question but with birth #1, how did your nurse know to wake you up and that it was time for baby to come? The timing of your contractions?
Did you not tear with #2? I've heard that once baby is crowning to NOT push and let her gently come out to avoid tears, which sounds like what you did.
As a FTM, I'm so fascinated that your physical labor sensations were so different with the two!
I got one stitch I think for superficial reasons after delivery #2, but I was never in any pain afterwards (very different compared to the first). I definitely was not trying to push (probably the opposite)!
The different labor sensations blow my mind too. I would love to hear other moms of 2+ share their different experiences! I have no idea what to expect for this one. It doesn't help that the extreme Braxton Hicks I've been feeling for like two months are almost the same strength as some of the earlier contractions I experienced the second time around so they are such a mind game right now! (Midwife confirmed they are not doing anything though, but I think/hope my body is gearing up for a speedy round 3!)
DD#1: 5/29/12
DD#2: 1/14/15
Baby #3 on the way due 8/19/17
28+2
What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)?
Unmedicated at hospital
FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before?
FTM
GTKY: What made you choose an unmedicated birth and how are you preparing?
I've had 2 epidurals in the past for prior hip surgeries. The migraine in the days following those was unreal. After removal of the epidurals hey wanted me out of bed to start walking and I couldn't. Each one I had about 12 hr recovery before I had enough sensation in my legs to try and walk. From my standpoint, I'd rather feel what's going on with baby and be able to move soon after.
At the hospital tour, the nurse anesthetist said that about 70% of deliveries are medicated by some sort and considering there is only one OB office in town (all women have to have at least one appointment with every OB before delivery), if say it's pretty well supported that women can choose medicated/unmedicated. The nurse anesthetist also said that she is comfortable giving an epidural at any point during the labor, even if you are between 8-10 cm as long as you can avoid "bearing down" during contractions so she can correctly place it.
That being said, I do hope to go unmedicated and feel that my doctors will be accommodating. DH knows my plans and is my biggest advocate. He knows what pain I can and cannot handle so I am comfortable with him knowing whether or not I am making the best decision at the time. And worse case scenario, I decide I ultimately need one, I can try to relax enough for one.
What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)? unmedicated in the hospital (only thing my insurance will pay for)
FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before? FTM
GTKY: What made you choose an unmedicated birth and how are you preparing? I am a pharmacist, so therefore, I know about how little they really know about medications. I have heard so many stories about medications not working how they are supposed to that I want to try to avoid them if possible. My midwife and DH are in full support. After doing a lot of reading, I feel like an unmedicated birth could be a once in a lifetime experience that not everyone even has the chance to experience. When I first got pregnant, I was terrified of giving birth, and while I"m not 100% confident, I am looking forward to seeing how it all goes down/how my body responds.
@lyndshurt Did you read Spiritual Midwifery yet? I loved it.
We're in the middle of the book Mindful Childbirth which I looooove and I do think the two work well together. DH and I had to do a homework assignemnt called Being With Pain, where you hold ice cubes in your hands for 60 seconds and try different mindfulness practices (focusing on the breath, body scan, etc) to see what works well for you. It was totally helpful!
My biggest complaint about Bradley is that it can come across as very rigid. DH struggled when I'd be like "hey this is great but we might find that we don't want to do this or that in labor" and he's all "but the book says!" So just being open minded about Bradley can help
@emilyrose807 I haven't yet! I'm rereading Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth at the moment. Hoping to get to it this summer!
Any STM+ utilize chiropractic care (Webster technique) during pregnancy and notice a difference in labors/have faster labors? I've started seeing my chiro every two weeks until DS2 gets here. Hoping to see a difference!
Fun fact, when I told DH I was seriously considering a drug/intervention-free labor/birth he laughed and said, "It's your funeral." Then went on to say he supported me in whatever choice I wanted. I said I reserved the right to change my mind and ask for epidural. ;-) He only laughed because he thinks I'm not the best with pain (which might be true, some of the baby's kicks have made me gasp or even yelp so he's like, realllllly?).
@lyndshurt If you can get Spiritual Midwifery from your library, you don't have to read the whole thing to get a good idea about it. The first 233 pages are stories from when they first started delivering babies. That is really where you want to start. Each story is about a page long. There are stories about women who delivered babies in the back of vans on the side of the road. To me, it was very empowering, because I felt like if they could do that, then I could definitely do it with all the knowledge we have now and the access that I have to help and care.
ed. There's no epidural at the birth center so that's that.
@emilyrose807 I love those kinds of stories! Well I should say, I love birth stories in general. Sounds right up my alley!
Together: January 2002
Married: May 2008
Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
I am trying for a med free hospital birth which is what I had with DS. I was going back and forth about hiring a doula, as much as I loved mine last time it is such a big expense and our insurance delectable is much larger. But DH really wanted one so I managed to get that all lined up even if it was a little last minute.
I also did a private birth prep class which was really helpful to go over what I would like to change and what I can do to prepare more. Plus some breathing and yoga exercises to work on. I have also started meditating every night before bed.
Now if I can get my house clean and hospital bag packed I might feel ready.
Question: The doula I found is still working on finishing up her training hours so we can not pay her. I am comfortable with the lack of full doula status, I just want someone there as back up support since we will be in a hospital surrounded by medical professionals. I just don't know what is appropriate etiquette wise to do for her. I am assuming she can't accept money even if we tried to give it, but I was thinking some thank you gift cards might be appropriate. Any advice or ideas?
I'm 34+2 and reaallllyyy ready to have this baby (just tired and uncomfortable), but can't do a homebirth until 37 weeks so she needs to stay put at least until then!
We got our birth tub and birth kit (just consists of things that are one time use like chucks pads, iodine scrubs, etc---our midwives bring all the "real" equipment like oxygen, drugs, etc.) in the mail this week so feeling super ready there. Just have a few random things to get like hoses, more pads, and food to have on hand and we should be all set.
Really feeling like "let's do this!" It's like the days leading up to a race when you know you can't train anymore but you also have to wait for race day to go do it.
On one hand I feel like it's Murphy's law (if I don't pack it, I'll end up needing it), but on the other hand it seems like packing it puts me "one foot out the door" already. We're only about 20 minutes from the hospital, so DH could go back home after and grab anything, but I'm also type-A and like to have things ready. Thoughts?
I'm only 33 weeks (end of August due date) so I feel like I have a long way to go compared to everyone else in the BMB. That being said, I am so hot/tired that I am starting to feel ready too. I am not prepared for him to come yet by any means, but physically I am over it. I think it's the heat down here in south Texas more than anything. Also, my LO is still doing flips 2-3 a day. He's crazy and it's so uncomfortable/gives me some anxiety about his position since I'm planning a home birth. My midwife/chiropractor aren't concerned at all so I'm trying not to worry about it. It's just very different from my last pregnancy.
I did have the diaper bag packed with some essentials just in case we had to go to the hospital. We only live 10 minutes away though so I wasn't super thorough about what I put in there. Just the basics.
Thanks for the advice. I bought a gift card to Trader Joe's yesterday and will buy another one for something more fun in town. That way it is easy to give to her in a Thank You card.
Is anybody here using meditation or aromatherapy to help manage labor? I think I'm going to be packing lavender massage oil, but I'm wondering if there are any other scents that might help? I also downloaded the Headspace (meditation) app as I thought that was supposed to have a pregnancy/labor series, but I didn't see it.
I'm an acupuncture addict and will have weekly appointments starting next week, where we will eventually be "opening the doors" for l&d. I'm pretty sure that contributed to my fast labor last time. Part of me is so tempted to try and get acupuncture during labor (and/or a doula), but then another part of me is afraid that if #3 is even faster than #2 then there is no point in having all these people on call.
How else are people preparing to cope with labor without meds? (DH is going to try and force an epidural on me the entire time so I need to have all of my own coping mechanisms ready to go! My acupuncturist said this is normal as it is really hard to watch someone you love appear to be in so much pain.)
DD#1: 5/29/12
DD#2: 1/14/15
Baby #3 on the way due 8/19/17
This will probably sound terribly naive, but I'm going to wing it to cope with labor without meds. I know you're a runner too, and I think about the several marathons I've run (and other distances that for whatever reason got difficult) and the mind tricks I played with myself to put pain aside and get through the final miles. I've had mantras, I've "let the pain go" (acknowledged it, and separated from it), I've given myself pep talks.
Sure, labor's probably going to be more like the Badwater Ultra than your standard marathon but I hope I already have enough practice with mind tricks to control my flight-or-fight responses to pain, and to remind myself that the labor pain/pressure is transformational and not bad, etc.
Fingers crossed.