August 2017 Moms

Homebirth/Birth Center Mamas

13

Re: Homebirth/Birth Center Mamas

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  • lewlivlewliv member
    @donehue that's an amazing story! 
  • @donehue   that car birth story is amazing! i can barely remember anything about DDs birth other than she came very quickly and i bled a lot. im worried about getting to the birth center on time because of how fast DD was born (3hours after we got there) and we are a little over an hour away from the center. 
  • @donehue holy crap! What incredible stories! Thank you for sharing! I just read in one of my birthing books, talking about what to do if baby is coming in the car and it said, "just because baby isn't born in a hospital doesn't mean it's an emergency!" So that's probably why you're chill about it.

    Silly question but with birth #1, how did your nurse know to wake you up and that it was time for baby to come? The timing of your contractions? 

    Did you not tear with #2? I've heard that once baby is crowning to NOT push and let her gently come out to avoid tears, which sounds like what you did.

    As a FTM, I'm so fascinated that your physical labor sensations were so different with the two!

  • Did you not tear with #2? I've heard that once baby is crowning to NOT push and let her gently come out to avoid tears, which sounds like what you did.


    This sounds great and all. But my urge to push was so overwhelming there was NO stopping it. My body just took over completely.
  • How far along are you?
    28 weeks


    What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)?
    Home Birth (wasn't planning on it- wanted a birth center but couldn't find one under an hour, found a midwife I liked, so decided to try for a HB)

    FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before?
    STM. My first was medicated for pain management and had an epidural at about 9 cm (got the needle before they could check).

    GTKY: What made you choose an unmedicated birth and how are you preparing?
    My experience at hospital is definitely not one I want to repeat, too rushed and lack of open communication. I was traumaized and struggled to process the experience. I fell hard into PPD. Still recovering from it over a year and half later.
    So home birth and slow progress for me this time. (Naturally, I will have a plan B, plan C in place.)
  • donehuedonehue member
    @mrsmatt1212 I think the nurse must have checked my cervix (I was prob half awake) to know that it was go time. The best part about delivery #1 was definitely the fact that it was in the hospital and it was a very peaceful, wonderful experience. When my daughter was born it was just my husband and midwife in the room and we had plenty of alone time and skin to skin time after the birth. 

    I got one stitch I think for superficial reasons after delivery #2, but I was never in any pain afterwards (very different compared to the first). I definitely was not trying to push (probably the opposite)! 

    The different labor sensations blow my mind too. I would love to hear other moms of 2+ share their different experiences! I have no idea what to expect for this one. It doesn't help that the extreme Braxton Hicks I've been feeling for like two months are almost the same strength as some of the earlier contractions I experienced the second time around so they are such a mind game right now! (Midwife confirmed they are not doing anything though, but I think/hope my body is gearing up for a speedy round 3!)

    DD#1: 5/29/12

    DD#2: 1/14/15

    Baby #3 on the way due 8/19/17

  • How far along are you?
    28+2

    What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)?
    Unmedicated at hospital

    FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before?
    FTM

    GTKY: What made you choose an unmedicated birth and how are you preparing?
    I've had 2 epidurals in the past for prior hip surgeries. The migraine in the days following those was unreal. After removal of the epidurals hey wanted me out of bed to start walking and I couldn't. Each one I had about 12 hr recovery before I had enough sensation in my legs to try and walk. From my standpoint, I'd rather feel what's going on with baby and be able to move soon after.

    At the hospital tour, the nurse anesthetist said that about 70% of deliveries are medicated by some sort and considering there is only one OB office in town (all women have to have at least one appointment with every OB before delivery), if say it's pretty well supported that women can choose medicated/unmedicated. The nurse anesthetist also said that she is comfortable giving an epidural at any point during the labor, even if you are between 8-10 cm as long as you can avoid "bearing down" during contractions so she can correctly place it.

    That being said, I do hope to go unmedicated and feel that my doctors will be accommodating. DH knows my plans and is my biggest advocate. He knows what pain I can and cannot handle so I am comfortable with him knowing whether or not I am making the best decision at the time. And worse case scenario, I decide I ultimately need one, I can try to relax enough for one. 
  • lewlivlewliv member
    Hi ladies. I'm giving birth in a birth center with lovely midwives. Do you think it's worthwhile to also hire a doula?
  • @lewliv maybe ask your midwives? Mine are trained as doulas as well as being midwives (required for them to get into the midwifery school here) so I'm not having an extra doula, but only because of cost. If it was cheap or free I'd definitely have one hah! Also find out if there will be student midwives or birth attendants on top of your midwives being there; often they'll serve the same purpose as a doula.
  • How far along are you? 32 weeks today!

    What type of birth are you planning (home, birth center, unmedicated at hospital)? unmedicated in the hospital (only thing my insurance will pay for)

    FTM? STM?/ Have you had an unmedicated birth before? FTM

    GTKY: What made you choose an unmedicated birth and how are you preparing? I am a pharmacist, so therefore, I know about how little they really know about medications. I have heard so many stories about medications not working how they are supposed to that I want to try to avoid them if possible. My midwife and DH are in full support. After doing a lot of reading, I feel like an unmedicated birth could be a once in a lifetime experience that not everyone even has the chance to experience. When I first got pregnant, I was terrified of giving birth, and while I"m not 100% confident, I am looking forward to seeing how it all goes down/how my body responds.
  • @mrsmatt1212 What did you guys decided about the Bradley method?

    @lyndshurt  Did you read Spiritual Midwifery yet? I loved it.
  • @emilyrose807 so we just finished the Bradley book (Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way). It's super outdated, so I only recommend the middle chunk because it's not up to date on current hospital practices. I think it was pretty beneficial. I feel like we learned the most about the physiology of labor from that, and partially some comfort techniques.

    We're in the middle of the book Mindful Childbirth which I looooove and I do think the two work well together. DH and I had to do a homework assignemnt called Being With Pain, where you hold ice cubes in your hands for 60 seconds and try different mindfulness practices (focusing on the breath, body scan, etc) to see what works well for you. It was totally helpful! 

    My biggest complaint about Bradley is that it can come across as very rigid. DH struggled when I'd be like "hey this is great but we might find that we don't want to do this or that in labor" and he's all "but the book says!" So just being open minded about Bradley can help :)
  • lynkatlynkat member
    @lewliv I agree with @mrsmatt1212 about the doula! 

    @emilyrose807 I haven't yet! I'm rereading Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth at the moment. Hoping to get to it this summer!

    Any STM+ utilize chiropractic care (Webster technique) during pregnancy and notice a difference in labors/have faster labors? I've started seeing my chiro every two weeks until DS2 gets here. Hoping to see a difference!
  • @lyndshurt wondering the same thing about chiro! I've been going weekly since around 18 weeks so I'm hoping it helps!
  • lynkatlynkat member
    Some women swear by it! I'm hoping it helps too! @mrsmatt1212
  • Yay, I just got (from the Library) those two mindfulness books that came recommended. Looking forward to reading them.

    Fun fact, when I told DH I was seriously considering a drug/intervention-free labor/birth he laughed and said, "It's your funeral." Then went on to say he supported me in whatever choice I wanted. I said I reserved the right to change my mind and ask for epidural. ;-) He only laughed because he thinks I'm not the best with pain (which might be true, some of the baby's kicks have made me gasp or even yelp so he's like, realllllly?). 
    __________________________________


    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @mrsmatt1212  I will have to see if they have that at my library. DH told me to stop reading so many books about childbirth. Haha. We also did the ice cube experiment in our childbirth classes, and I found that visual and auditory was the most distracting for me. Taste and smell not at all. What about you?

    @lyndshurt  If you can get Spiritual Midwifery from your library, you don't have to read the whole thing to get a good idea about it. The first 233 pages are stories from when they first started delivering babies. That is really where you want to start. Each story is about a page long. There are stories about women who delivered babies in the back of vans on the side of the road. To me, it was very empowering, because I felt like if they could do that, then I could definitely do it with all the knowledge we have now and the access that I have to help and care.
  • Yay, I just got (from the Library) those two mindfulness books that came recommended. Looking forward to reading them.

    Fun fact, when I told DH I was seriously considering a drug/intervention-free labor/birth he laughed and said, "It's your funeral." Then went on to say he supported me in whatever choice I wanted. I said I reserved the right to change my mind and ask for epidural. ;-) He only laughed because he thinks I'm not the best with pain (which might be true, some of the baby's kicks have made me gasp or even yelp so he's like, realllllly?). 
    I had to laugh at this because DH has said the same thing since I don't want the epidural lol. He did tell me he knows I can go without it if it's something I want to do but then laughs everytime I grab my stomach or make some noise about how the baby moves. 
  • lewlivlewliv member
    edited June 2017
    All my friends that had babies med-free told me that I'll ask for drugs and that DH has to be the rock to tell me no.  :p

    ed. There's no epidural at the birth center so that's that. 
  • @lyndshurt since it was my first i cant actually compare - but i had chiro throughout my pregnancy with DD1, and had a 4 hour, very straight forward labour without needing any pain meds (by the time i was asking for them i was already 8cm and started pushing about 20 mins later) i like to think that Chiro had something to do with it since that is that is very good labour length/experience for a first timer. Even my midwife was pleasantly surprised with how straight forward it was for a ftm. 
  • lynkatlynkat member
    Thanks for the feedback @clairemwalker! That is a fast labor for a FTM. My first one wasn't long by any means (early labor = 10 hours, active labor = 6 hours), but I'm always down for anything that will make it shorter and smoother :) 

    @emilyrose807 I love those kinds of stories! Well I should say, I love birth stories in general. Sounds right up my alley!
  • kvh22kvh22 member
    @lewliv - what did you think of Mindful Mom-to-be? I might take a page out of @DeansGirl14's book and check it out of the local library. I'm not sure if I want to have an unmedicated birth yet but I feel like the information will be helpful either way.

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy  Baby Tracker

  • lewlivlewliv member
    @kvh22 the book is a bit too granola for my taste but I really like that it's very practical. In every chapter there are suggestions of meditation exercises, diary exercises, foods & recipes, yoga poses, etc to deal with different aspects of pregnancy. There are also recipes for house cleaners, cosmetics, and natural remedies.  Overall, I do recommend the book. 
  • @mrsmatt1212 Yay!!!! I'm so pleased you got the go ahead for your homebirth.

    Together: January 2002
    Married: May 2008
    Baby: August 2017

    Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • lynkatlynkat member
    Happy for you @mrsmatt1212!! 
  • @mrsmatt1212 Yay! that's so exciting! 
                                                             Met DH 2008-engaged 8/10/2011-married 7/21/12 
                                              DD1 born on her due date 05/01/2012 7lbs12oz and 19 3/4 inches long
                                                     DD2 born 12/07/2013 @ 39w6d 8lbs15oz 20 3/4 inches long
                                                          #3 EDD 09/27/2015 ~ we are going for a HOME birth!

                image
  • As we are getting closer to the end I thought I would check in and see how everyone is doing with their preparations. 

    I am trying for a med free hospital birth which is what I had with DS.  I was going back and forth about hiring a doula, as much as I loved mine last time it is such a big expense and our insurance delectable is much larger.  But DH really wanted one so I managed to get that all lined up even if it was a little last minute.

    I also did a private birth prep class which was really helpful to go over what I would like to change and what I can do to prepare more.  Plus some breathing and yoga exercises to work on.  I have also started meditating every night before bed.  

    Now if I can get my house clean and hospital bag packed I might feel ready. 

    Question:  The doula I found is still working on finishing up her training hours so we can not pay her.  I am comfortable with the lack of full doula status, I just want someone there as back up support since we will be in a hospital surrounded by medical professionals.  I just don't know what is appropriate etiquette wise to do for her.  I am assuming she can't accept money even if we tried to give it, but I was thinking some thank you gift cards might be appropriate.  Any advice or ideas? 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @shyviolet I'd do gift cards or a gift basket! I think that would be plenty and well-appreciated.

    I'm 34+2 and reaallllyyy ready to have this baby (just tired and uncomfortable), but can't do a homebirth until 37 weeks so she needs to stay put at least until then!

    We got our birth tub and birth kit (just consists of things that are one time use like chucks pads, iodine scrubs, etc---our midwives bring all the "real" equipment like oxygen, drugs, etc.) in the mail this week so feeling super ready there. Just have a few random things to get like hoses, more pads, and food to have on hand and we should be all set.

    Really feeling like "let's do this!" It's like the days leading up to a race when you know you can't train anymore but you also have to wait for race day to go do it. 
  • Those of you who are having/have had a home birth ( @lyndshurt @clairemwalker @thistle8677 and others I'm missing), did you pack/are you packing a contingency hospital bag?

    On one hand I feel like it's Murphy's law (if I don't pack it, I'll end up needing it), but on the other hand it seems like packing it puts me "one foot out the door" already. We're only about 20 minutes from the hospital, so DH could go back home after and grab anything, but I'm also type-A and like to have things ready. Thoughts?
  • kvh22kvh22 member
    @mrsmatt1212 - not sure if you're thinking of having a bag more for between now and when you hit 37 weeks or if you needed to go to the hospital during your homebirth for some other reason. I fall more in the Murphy's law camp, myself so I'd say pack it but I think that's a personal preference. I think maybe a small bag with the delivery and immediate post delivery essentials and comfortable clothes for your husband would be good unless this messes with your head too much, but you don't need the mommy bag of stuff for after if you think DH would be fine to go home.

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy  Baby Tracker

  • @kvh22 both I guess? I don't think I'll go before 37, so mainly for if we have to transfer. Asking my midwife for her opinion at tonight's prenatal since they might have a policy or something. But I think having some of the essentials would be helpful to have in one location anyway just in case, and so I don't have to explain to DH or anyone else where 20 different things are!
  • I'm planning my third home birth and I usually do pack a small bag. I leave it in the car and have it just in case. It doubles as an emergency bag for now, in case I have an accident (as in pee my pants when I sneeze or something), or if my water unexpectedly breaks. I figure better to have an extra set of clothes in the back just in case. I have an extra outfit, toothbrush and deodorant, and a few things like that. I don't pack anything for baby because I have family that would just stop and pick up what we needed if we ended up needing to go into hospital or anything. 
    image
    Tristan Phillip - 2 wks
    image
  • lynkatlynkat member
    @shyviolet I agree with @mrsmatt1212 on the doula gift - gift card or gift basket!

    I'm only 33 weeks (end of August due date) so I feel like I have a long way to go compared to everyone else in the BMB. That being said, I am so hot/tired that I am starting to feel ready too. I am not prepared for him to come yet by any means, but physically I am over it. I think it's the heat down here in south Texas more than anything. Also, my LO is still doing flips 2-3 a day. He's crazy and it's so uncomfortable/gives me some anxiety about his position since I'm planning a home birth. My midwife/chiropractor aren't concerned at all so I'm trying not to worry about it. It's just very different from my last pregnancy.

    I did have the diaper bag packed with some essentials just in case we had to go to the hospital. We only live 10 minutes away though so I wasn't super thorough about what I put in there. Just the basics.


  • @mrsmatt1212  Reading your list of everything needed for a home birth makes me even happier about my hospital choice.  There is so much more prep work  I am going to feel accomplished if I have the crib up before I go into labor.  

    Thanks for the advice.  I bought a gift card to Trader Joe's yesterday and will buy another one for something more fun in town.  That way it is easy to give to her in a Thank You card.  
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I am slacking a little (like all things related to baby #3) and am just starting to really prep myself to aim for a med free birth. One of the most helpful things I have read recently was to use all of the BH (especially the ones accompanied by period cramps) as practice for relaxing during contractions. I've been trying to "enjoy' the sensation and not tense up against it. I seriously want them to come even more often now so that I can get some good practice. 

    Is anybody here using meditation or aromatherapy to help manage labor? I think I'm going to be packing lavender massage oil, but I'm wondering if there are any other scents that might help? I also downloaded the Headspace (meditation) app as I thought that was supposed to have a pregnancy/labor series, but I didn't see it.

    I'm an acupuncture addict and will have weekly appointments starting next week, where we will eventually be "opening the doors" for l&d. I'm pretty sure that contributed to my fast labor last time. Part of me is so tempted to try and get acupuncture during labor (and/or a doula), but then another part of me is afraid that if #3 is even faster than #2 then there is no point in having all these people on call. 

    How else are people preparing to cope with labor without meds? (DH is going to try and force an epidural on me the entire time so I need to have all of my own coping mechanisms ready to go! My acupuncturist said this is normal as it is really hard to watch someone you love appear to be in so much pain.)

    DD#1: 5/29/12

    DD#2: 1/14/15

    Baby #3 on the way due 8/19/17

  • @donehue  I have been doing meditation and some aromatherapy.  I used the deep meditation breaths during a painful cramp the other day and found it very helpful in relaxing my body.  I am not a big scent person so I am using a mild lemongrass/beach smell.  I figure thinking of the beach could only help. I loved having a doula last time, but I hesitated  this time.  I had a quick labor as well and didn't know how much I would get out of it.  DH really pushed for one so I decided it do it.  It could be hard on her if you and your husband want different things, but it might be nice for you to have the support.  Also maybe talking with one would help your husband come around.  
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @donehue
    This will probably sound terribly naive, but I'm going to wing it to cope with labor without meds. I know you're a runner too, and I think about the several marathons I've run (and other distances that for whatever reason got difficult) and the mind tricks I played with myself to put pain aside and get through the final miles. I've had mantras, I've "let the pain go" (acknowledged it, and separated from it), I've given myself pep talks. 
    Sure, labor's probably going to be more like the Badwater Ultra than your standard marathon but I hope I already have enough practice with mind tricks to control my flight-or-fight responses to pain, and to remind myself that the labor pain/pressure is transformational and not bad, etc. 
    Fingers crossed. 
    __________________________________


    BabyFruit Ticker
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