PGAL / PAIF (Pregnant After Loss / Pregnant After Infertility) Weekly Check-in 7/5/17-7/11/17

NYTino24 · July 2017

This thread is for women who are pregnant after a loss and who have a history of loss or for women who have struggled with infertility and are now pregnant.

This thread is one huge trigger warning so if you just came to read, please protect yourself if you are not comfortable reading about loss. This is a place where women can talk freely about their loss history.

*****PLEASE DO NOT post losses here. Start a new thread. *****

Hey PGAL / PAIF ladies, "Today you are pregnant!"

1. How far along are you today?

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?

4. How is your SO handling everything?

5. GTKY: How are you doing with other people's questions about your pregnancy?

JDW0325 · July 2017

1. How far along are you today?
20+4

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.
Unfortunately I fit both parts of this thread- the loss and the infertility! MY son was conceived naturally, and pretty easily. This sweet girl was a result of IVF after suffering a loss with IUI. We tried for well over a year before having to move on to the fertility treatments.

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
Great! Tired b/c my neighbors lit of fireworks ALL NIGHT LONG but pregnancy wise I feel really good. Mentally I am good after the AS.

4. How is your SO handling everything?
Always supportive

5. GTKY: How are you doing with other people's questions about your pregnancy?
Ehh- depends on the question!!!!

NYTino24 · July 2017

1. How far along are you today? between 20 and 21 weeks. (I like that I have to look it up because it means my anxiety has calmed!)

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing. NMC at 7w6d in Jan.

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
Feeling very good and confident. Weight gain is ramping up and I have to take my rings off if I'm going to be outside or walking for a while. Excited to help with the shower planning and getting nursery under control.

4. How is your SO handling everything?
He is finally in baby mode. Knowing the sex makes him want to talk about names and things like car seats. However, we don't really like shopping together and he trusts me to research and pick stuff out.

5. GTKY: How are you doing with other people's questions about your pregnancy?
It depends on what the question is. Most people are good. I don't like being asked if it's my first and depending on if I'll be around the person much, I will either say yes or that this is my rainbow baby.

NYTino24 · July 2017

@JDW0325 I thought I'd add in our moms who have dealt with IF since both that and PGAL are similar, but very different struggles. I'm glad your little girl is on the way!

JDW0325 · July 2017

I love that you added that @NYTino24
You are right- they def have some similarities unfortunately!

whymorewhiner · July 2017

1. How far along are you today? 21w1d

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing. C/P in April 2016, MMC & D&C in September 2016

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes? I'm doing pretty well. I still get anxious when life gets busy and I do not have time so sit and feel baby move. I'm still using my Doppler during those times to ease my anxiety and help me get on with my day.

4. How is your SO handling everything? He's doing well. Getting more excited and asking if it's time to set up the crib.

5. GTKY: How are you doing with other people's questions about your pregnancy? I do not really get too many questions at this point. So, I guess this one is N/A for me at the moment.

RiverSong15 · July 2017

@JDW0325 I'm glad you're feeling great after your AS!

@NYTino24 Enjoy that shopping! It's nice your husband trusts you to pick out good stuff. My DH and I shop together for joint things, so I know making a registry will be a multiple-day affair.

1. 21+1

2. Two NMCs around 7-10 wks in Dec 15 and Apr 16.

3. Eh. I was doing really well after our AS, and then I had a scare on Friday. I had cramping/contractions that lasted for 1.5 hours that were coming and going every 10 minutes. Cue freak out. My OB told me to go home, take it easy, and drink water, which I did. The cramping/contractions went away, thank god, but it really scared me. I got an appointment with the NP at my OB's office on Monday, and everything looks good (LO still had a great HB). They're checking me for a UTI, but don't expect to find anything. Which leaves my cramping unexplained, which I hate. I'm now nervous again, just when I felt I could start to relax. I spent the weekend googling survival rates and disability statistics to help me mentally find a "milestone" where I'll be able to breathe easier about a preemie. No good.

4. He's great, as always. He came home from work an hour early on a Friday to be there with me, and has been taking on whatever I need him to. He's my rock.

5. I'm doing mostly OK. I only struggle when people are super duper excited about my pregnancy - that triggers fear and guilt that I can't let myself be that excited. But otherwise, I'm ok with most questions.

misschanandlerbong15 · July 2017

1. How far along are you today? 22+6

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing. mc at 6.5 weeks Oct 2016

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes? Was feeling pretty good the last few days - baby moves a lot when fireworks are going off! However today I feel miserable because even though I took my medicine I still got sick right after I got to work this morning

4. How is your SO handling everything? he's great, as always. Got to really feel the baby kick over the weekend which he loved

5. GTKY: How are you doing with other people's questions about your pregnancy? I used to hate when people would ask if I'm excited because I was so terrified 100% of the time but I'm doing better with that now

JDW0325 · July 2017

I got this rainbow cheesecloth for newborn pics

!!

MKMandeville · July 2017

1. How far along are you today?
22+2

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.

- early loss/ CP @ 4+2 August 2016
- ectopic pregnancy confirmed via ultrasound and blood work between 5-6 weeks September 2016

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?

Relatively good. Today is DH's first day at his new job after being home for the last three months so it was just DD and I again. We kept busy so she would be distracted and not ask me when daddy was coming home every five seconds. Keeping busy was good for her but I am beat and I'm counting down the minutes until he pulls in so I can take a shower and have some mommy time.

4. How is your SO handling everything?
Pretty good. It's so funny when I get any sort of RL, craving or other pregnancy sensation he will call her by name and ask "is - - - - - being naughty?" "is - - - - - craving something specific?"

5. GTKY: How are you doing with other people's questions about your pregnancy?

It really depends who it is. It is mostly fine but when it comes to my BILs wife sometimes I get annoyed and just ignore her question. She is due with #3 exactly 4 weeks after we are due with #2 and her questions make me feel like she is comparing our pregnancies just to see who is "winning."

girlmomi2j17 · July 2017

1. How far along are you today?
22 weeks

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.
My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at around 8 weeks, a year later I was able to get pregnant again and starting having really sharp pains that became unbearable, I went to the ER and found out I was having an ectopic pregnancy and had to get surgery because I had a lot of internal bleeding. My 3rd pregnancy was a success and have a beautiful almost 3 year old daughter now. I've since had 3 more miscarriages (10 weeks, 5 weeks and 8 weeks along) I also have PCOS but luckily have been able to get pregnant naturally every time... my body just has a hard time keeping pregnancies. DH and I actually decided to take a 6 month break from trying for a baby so this pregnancy was a surprise since we weren't trying!

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
Im feeling great today. We had our anatomy scan a couple weeks ago and baby looked perfect. I am feeling him kick all the time and loving it!

4. How is your SO handling everything?
He's very excited! He's thrilled we are having a boy!

5. GTKY: How are you doing with other people's questions about your pregnancy?
Not a lot of people know my history except for family and close friends so I'm open with anyone when they ask me about it. I don't announce my pregnancies until I find out the gender which was 16 weeks with my daughter and 18 weeks with this pregnancy.

JDW0325 · July 2017

Sorry for the double pic!

angbaby83 · July 2017

@JDW0325 I love that cloth! Glad you are feeling good. I hear ya about the being tired because of fireworks. Let's hope you get some sleep tonight!
@mparm91 that sucks that you got sick. I did too this morning and Im out of my meds. Isn't that supposed to go away at some point?
@NYTino24 glad your anxiety has calmed. I hate that question about this being my first. I agree it depends on who asks.
@RiverSong15 sorry you had a scare. Glad your husband is being so supportive that definitely helps. Its so hard when there is no explanation for things but glad you had a good appointment.
My scan is tomorrow and feeling super anxious. Probably will wait until tomorrow after my scan to check in because I am having a rough day.

NYTino24 · July 2017

@JDW0325 Cute! I registered for this on Amazon.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/bn/9hk7ui1iy0i6.png

@girlmomi2j17 Welcome to the thread. I'm glad you're getting your surprise rainbow baby after everything you've been through.
@MKMandeville It sucks that she's so competitive. Do you feel comfortable pointing it out, like point blank telling her it isn't a competition?
@RiverSong15 Were they Braxton Hicks? I've read that they are common around 20 weeks and beyond. Sorry it was so scary.
@mparm91 Refresh my memory - are you on zofran or diceglis? I hope it stops soon!

MKMandeville · July 2017

@NYTino24 that is super adorable!

I wish I could confront her. Even though she lives across the country and I rarely see her in person I am the peacemaker and hate confrontation. I'm not very good at it haha.

It's not entirely that bad but she asked me this week if I was going to have anyone in the room with me. I told her no just my husband and she said "well I will have my mom there for extra support." I just wanted to say "good for you," but my non confrontational side just said "cool."

I am not against anyone having multiple family members in the delivery room but for me personally felt if they didn't help make the baby or weren't delivering I didn't want them to see all my lady parts haha.

dragonfly87-2 · July 2017

Waiting at the Drs to get our AS U/S and my anxiety is at an all time high. I only slept about 3 hours last night. I am hoping once I see baby move I can relax for the rest.

I will come back and update after and respond to all you amazing ladies.

NYTino24 · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 Just breathe! That's all you need to do for the next few minutes.

missrekaeagle · July 2017

1. How far along are you today?
19w2d

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.
MC at 6 weeks 11/2015

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
Today I'm excited because I have my anatomy scan in a few hours. The last time I had an ultrasound in the designated ultrasound room at the hospital, I was confirming my MC. I'm happy to be in a place in which I'm not dreading the room. When I first realized I was pregnant, I was terrified of the thought of the ultrasound room.

4. How is your SO handling everything?
He's as cool as a cucumber.

5. GTKY: How are you doing with other people's questions about your pregnancy?
I don't mind questions because I'm happy to be pregnant and able to talk about the pregnancy.

misschanandlerbong15 · July 2017

@NYTino24 I'm on generic zofran

@dragonfly87-2 and @missrekaeagle Good luck today, let us know how it goes!

dragonfly87-2 · July 2017

Sorry. Should probably add a TW

The appt is over and I am in tears, hopefully for no reason, but we have to wait and see.

The anatomy scan went fine, but the doctor said they found a choroid plexus cyst in baby's brain. It could be a soft marker for Trisomy 18 or other problems. But all other indicators are not there and growth seems normal, so we will wait until the next US to see if it goes away. She said 1-2% of babies have this.

I don't know how to feel about it because it could be nothing or it could be something. I just feel sad and scared.

NYTino24 · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 I'm sorry you've gotten possibly bad news. When do you have your next ultrasound? I'm sure you've been Googling already and know it might not be anything. Are you considering amnio? I remember someone else mentioning one, but it may have been elsewhere on TB. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

missrekaeagle · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 I'm sorry your ultrasound didn't go as well as expected. You and baby are in my thoughts.

dragonfly87-2 · July 2017

@NYTino24 and @missrekaeagle

Thank you for the kind words. I have done some googling and a lot say it can be nothing. I think we will just wait until the next US and hope for the best.

peacedancelove · July 2017

@NYTino24 I totally agree with being asked that question. I hate that usually at the doctors when they run through my list of normal questions they always ask to confirm "3rd pregnancy?" and it drives me nuts. It's obviously right in front of you.

RiverSong15 · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 I'm so sorry for the anxiety and stress from your AS. The fact that there are no other markers is a great sign that this is nothing, but I understand how PGAL brain doesn't always accept that answer. Have you thought about NIPT? You could get answers from that in 1-2 weeks, rather than waiting until 32 weeks, and it's noninvasive. It helped my anxiety a lot at 15 weeks after a questionable first sequential screen result. Many companies will work with you on price too. My insurance company originally said they would deny my claim, but they ended up covering it anyway! In any case, huge hugs.

@NYTino24 Thanks. The NP and I didn't think they were Braxton hicks, as they were painful and and coming back regularly. Her best guess is maybe GI distress, but mostly, she just said "they went away, so it's not preterm labor. So no need to worry right now". Shrug. I hate uncertainty. Not much I can do right now besides stay hydrated.

angbaby83 · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 so sorry to hear that. I'm sending you and baby my thoughts. Pregnancy is full of so many anxieties and it is hard when you're told something and have to wait for another scan. Fingers crossed for you. I agree it's a good sign that growth looks good and no other indicators. Hugs

misschanandlerbong15 · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 sending positive thoughts your way

liz4382 · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 I'm sorry to hear about your AS. It is a good sign that growth and all other markets looked good. Hopefully you find out soon that everything is fine! Thinking of you.

JDW0325 · July 2017

so sorry to hear about your stressful ultrasound! My coworker went through this exact same thing and her baby boy is a happy and healthy 10 month old now

dragonfly87-2 · July 2017

After doing more google research, I think I am feeling a little more calm. It seems like anecdotally, quite a few people experience this at 20 weeks and it disappears by 32 weeks. Since baby is at the 50% percentile for growth right now (and the doctor wasn't concerned) and the nose plate shows normal growth, I am trying not to worry too much.

DH is clearly upset too, but he is being really supportive. I think he is a little in shock too finding out we are having a girl (we both really wanted a boy), but we are focusing on the health of the baby right now. As long as she is healthy, we will be happy.

I am trying to be more upbeat right now given my family is in town visiting and it's my birthday, but I feel like an emotional wreck right now. I want to just be with DH only, but that isn't an option. We are going to look at day cares this afternoon, so hoping that is a welcomed distraction.

angbaby83 · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 Happy Birthday! Hope looking at daycares will be a good distraction. Glad the Googling has helped reassure you.

MississippiCatfish · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 My first baby had multiple CPCs, and I actually felt much better after googling. Try to take comfort in the fact that less than 1% of babies with isolated CPCs are associated with Trisomy 18. 99% is really great odds! Thinking of you while you wait - that is always So hard.

Here's one reference that I found with that statistic. Wanted to share it because I remember it bringing me comfort:)

https://mydoctor.kaiserpermanente.org/ncal/Images/GEN_US CPC handout_tcm63-15061.pdf

missrekaeagle · July 2017

@mparm91 Things went well at the ultrasound. We're having a baby boy and I'm shocked.

dragonfly87-2 · July 2017

@MississippiCatfish Thank you for sharing the info. It definitely helps!

ShePersisted · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 sorry this is so stressful but my scan also had a marker for tri 21 which drove me nuts. After a lot of research I learnt that many markers are only releveant if found with other markers and by itself majority of them mean nothing. At this point If it were me, I think I would request a NIPT test if you have not done it. They are pretty darn good at detecting things and have about only 3%-5% false positive for tri 18. Also did your dr order a quad or sequential screen for you? That screen also has a pretty good detection rate and should have been offered to you in early second trimester. If the blood work looks good from those screens then perhaps that is why your dr may not seem as worried.

NYTino24 · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 Happy birthday! That little girl is lucky to have parents who love her and care about her as much as you do. So 1% of 1% of these things turn out to be something. You have great odds there. Have some cake and celebrate! Just like being PGAL, worrying helps nothing.

lala123321567789 · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 sending positive thoughts and creepy internet hugs your way

I'm glad that the odds are so high that baby girl will be fine and perfectly healthy, but I know PGAL brain is terrible. Happy birthday, I hope you can really enjoy the day and have a good time. Congrats on finding out youare having a girl, you will be in my thoughts. Stay strong

KT&John · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 I am just catching up on this thread and wanted to send you good thoughts. I hope you are able to find as much peace as possible as you wait for the next scan. I also had something show up on my A/S that was a possible marker for tri 21. At a follow up scan 2 weeks later they were able to determine the issue is isolated and unlikely to be related to tri 21. I hope you are able to get similar reassurance at your next scan.

cwalker042 · July 2017

1. How far along are you today?

20+1

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.
MC at 11 weeks

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
I feel great. Had my A/S on Thursday and Doc said everything looks great. LO was all over the place but I still hardly feel her. I still struggle with thoughts of losing this baby. I know of a woman who lost one of her babies at 32 weeks and her next one at 20 weeks. My brain is struggling with being positive b

4. How is your SO handling everything?
Perfectly fine since the beginning.

5. GTKY: How are you doing with other people's questions about your pregnancy?
I'm fine with it. I'll talk about anything. I'm an open book.

dragonfly87-2 · July 2017

@cwalker042 I am right there with you with not feeling movement still at 20w3d...it is such a bummer. Hopefully we both feel consistent movement soon!

angbaby83 · July 2017

@cwalker042 and @dragonfly87-2 Im not really feeling much movement either. But the baby was moving on the scan. It will happen for all of us and will be exciting. My PGAL brain has been bad this week despite a good scan. I broke down today when my brother asked about the baby registry. I still struggle with those thoughts of losing the baby so I just try to really celebrate when I have good moments and lean on support when I have bad moments. We have a great community here.

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PGAL / PAIF (Pregnant After Loss / Pregnant After Infertility) Weekly Check-in 7/5/17-7/11/17

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