OU Thursday 6.29

TattoosandLace · June 2017

What is your unpopular opinion this week?

meatballs37 · June 2017

I have a couple, but I feel like our board isn't as spicy.

sabriel1 · June 2017

March on the other hand seems pretty fiesty based on having like there first two threads closed down.

I miss the snark of the bump. Normally I don't really care if people post the own posts with symptoms or introductions because usually the snark responses would ensure that not many people would do that. Now I find it is more important to call people out for special snowflake posts because if you get to snarky you'll end up with a TOU violation. Now if you don't redirect people to the main posts or else we'd be over room with sex announcements etc. I miss the old bump where I feel those problems kind of took care of them selves

K&Elizabeth · June 2017

The UO threads on my last 2 BMB were super spicy. Sure, some feelings were occasionally hurt, but we also had some awesome convos and got really close. The snark was what drew me to the bump over other pregnancy websites/apps.

meatballs37 · June 2017

@sabriel1

I also miss the old snark within reason. I especially hate SS posts that complain about a dear diary moment. And then they try to add at the end a related question that could incorporate others. Insert eye roll.

Maybe my UO is I like the policing. What's the point of having rules if everyone gets all upset when someone calls them out, even in a polite manner? Newsflash people: you aren't all super special. And I hate that we all have to be sensitive to everyone's feelings. Sometimes I want to just say, we are all grown adult women with different opinions. And just because we don't agree doesn't automatically make either side wrong or not sensitive to others perspectives. I think as long as a UO thread is done in a manner that doesn't shame the opposite view point, it's cool.

And March seems like a board to watch for sure! A couple of my last BMB moms are going to be March moms. So I'm excited!

My UO for this week is I don't like bedsharing with children. Now before you all get bent out of shape, I understand that if your kid doesn't sleep great you have to pick your battles. But for me, I think it's important for my marriage that our DD sleep in her own room.

the_other_mother · June 2017

I don't usually post UOs because I don't really feel like being pounced on by the PC police. I love snark but I'm not really down with condescension, which I unfortunately see a lot on TB as well.

meatballs37 · June 2017

@the_other_mother I personally like FFFC better. Those ones seem to be more laid back and good for a laugh.

the_other_mother · June 2017

After reading the craving thread, I thought of a UO. I do NOT like sandwiches. Subway? No thank you. I can eat a pizza sub, but that is just a less good version of pizza, rather than a sandwich. I don't really look at burgers or grilled cheese as sandwiches in my mind. They are awesome. Bread with lunch meat, condiments, and veggies is just not appetizing whatsoever to me.

hullabalou · June 2017

sabriel1 said:

March on the other hand seems pretty fiesty based on having like there first two threads closed down.

I miss the snark of the bump. Normally I don't really care if people post the own posts with symptoms or introductions because usually the snark responses would ensure that not many people would do that. Now I find it is more important to call people out for special snowflake posts because if you get to snarky you'll end up with a TOU violation. Now if you don't redirect people to the main posts or else we'd be over room with sex announcements etc. I miss the old bump where I feel those problems kind of took care of them selves

ALL of this. The general tone of TB is so different now. I do miss the snark and 100% agree that the boards functioned more effectively before the changes took place.

sabriel1 · June 2017

I love it all. Anything that gets discussion going that is NBR is great to me. I tend not to post anything too crazy just because I tend to lean conservatively in my views so most of my opinions tend to be unpopular here

the_other_mother · June 2017

@meatball37 I actually like bedsharing. I definitely agree that we'd rather keep our bed for us, but when DD does end up in our bed it's usually super early morning, not all night.

sabriel1 · June 2017

Yeah bedsharing is a hard no I'm this house for the same reason. Though I give people with newborns/ infants a pass for sure

meatballs37 · June 2017

the_other_mother said:

@meatball37 I actually like bedsharing. I definitely agree that we'd rather keep our bed for us, but when DD does end up in our bed it's usually super early morning, not all night.

Totally get it. I have a friend who has a three year old and 7 year old and is constantly complaining how they roll around at night and keep her and her DH up. And when her DH gets up early for work it wakes them. I asked why she doesn't have them sleep in their room? She just laughed at me and said "yeah right." She didn't give an answer.

TattoosandLace · June 2017

meatball37 said:

I have a couple, but I feel like our board isn't as spicy.

Telllllll meeeeeeeee.

TattoosandLace · June 2017

Not sure if OU or FFThC:
I don't take accounts with Knottie283$3616184950482)27:84&3 or the generic bump avatar seriously. If you are serious about being a part of a community you'll pick a name, pick a "face", and pull up a chair.

the_other_mother · June 2017

Agree. @TattoosandLace if that's your name and avatar even if you participate regularly I have no idea who you are.

lainikins · June 2017

I have not adjusted yet to this new bump style. It is not so much that I miss the snark, maybe I do, but I just feel like there are too many rules to follow that are set up solely to control how we post and what we post about.I am not a fan of policing the boards at all. I am more of the mindset of if I do not want to read it, then I do not read it. I feel like it makes it harder to get to know people.

I do not bedshare. If I could kick my husband out some nights, I would. Maybe it is because we only have a full size bed, but I want my space!! Plus, my kid likes to sleep perpendicular to the traditional way people sleep in beds, no not the great to share with on the few times I need to when we are on vacation without a second bed.

Someday I will get around to changing my avatar. I have not put it very high up on my to do list. I could not figure out my log in information and I honestly do not remember if I had them delete my old account or not. I may have when everything was going down on the bump way back when.

TattoosandLace · June 2017

I don't care about ultrasound photos. If it's not my uterus (or maybe a close, close friend), I really just don't care to see it.

TattoosandLace · June 2017

Bedsharing helped me survive twounder two, but damn is it nice to have my own space.

the_other_mother · June 2017

@TattoosandLace especially when it's an internet stranger who has never given so much as a "hi."

TattoosandLace · June 2017

the_other_mother said:

@TattoosandLace especially when it's an internet stranger who has never given so much as a "hi."

Yessssss. My SIL is 25 weeks and invited everyone to a 4d ultrasound. I didn't go because it was DD2's first birthday. But I definitely don't really care to watch the video of the entire sonogram.

ETA: if I don't care about that one then I definitely don't care about Internet stranger knottie fivethousandseventyfourtwothree

itsrandiyo · June 2017

I feel like I need to figure out how to change my avatar now

eggplantface · June 2017

To be fair, the March board started right off with someone intro'ing who posted two threads on TTGP that were both essentially drive-by BFPs: one to say "when will I know my negative HPT isn't a false negative?" because of course it has to be a false negative, she was totes KU, and the second to say "haha I was right I'm pregnant and you're all jerks." So she got much deserved flames. The Bump never forgets.

Unfortunately those threads got a beloved member banned because the BGs love to bring down the ban hammer when truth bombs drop. We gotta be careful with the snark!

Chawk17 · June 2017

TattoosandLace said:

Not sure if OU or FFThC:
I don't take accounts with Knottie283$3616184950482)27:84&3 or the generic bump avatar seriously. If you are serious about being a part of a community you'll pick a name, pick a "face", and pull up a chair.

Hey now

I happen to like my generic avatar. But I have a non generic SN.

meatballs37 · June 2017

I must have missed the ttgp craziness. I hate drive by posts. We got a TON of those at the very end of our aug 16 board. And it was finally awesome to see some ladies make that known since our community was pretty tightly knit by then. And I'm talking the really annoying posts at the end like "am I in labor or is it pee?" Sigh.

chucksmom15 · June 2017

That stuff on the TTGP was crazy. That woman was waaaay out of line. @eggplantface she isn't banned forever is she? I was a lurker in TTGP and I know everyone loved her.

BelhurstBride · June 2017

I'm with the PPs; I hate the new bump. I think the policing and overly organized threads are the reasons for the dead boards.

meatballs37 · June 2017

I can see how the organized threads lead to dead boards since the number one thing people want to talk about is themselves. BUT it takes more creativity and energy to post better content, which leads to a better fb group in the long run. A place where people generally care and want to get to know each other. Instead of posting their me me me posts. But hey, to each their own. That's what makes us unique.

BelhurstBride · June 2017

meatball37 said:

I can see how the organized threads lead to dead boards since the number one thing people want to talk about is themselves. BUT it takes more creativity and energy to post better content, which leads to a better fb group in the long run. A place where people generally care and want to get to know each other. Instead of posting their me me me posts. But hey, to each their own. That's what makes us unique.

Oh man. I can't roll my eyes hard enough.

I also can't disagree more. I feel like having threads dedicated to symptoms and appointments makes it even more likely for people to talk about themselves, versus when people were just allowed to make a post.

Prior to the mass exodus I don't recall much actual pregnancy talk on the month boards, that ish seemed to stay on the tri boards. The month boards were just... more fun.

meatballs37 · June 2017

BelhurstBride said:

meatball37 said:

I can see how the organized threads lead to dead boards since the number one thing people want to talk about is themselves. BUT it takes more creativity and energy to post better content, which leads to a better fb group in the long run. A place where people generally care and want to get to know each other. Instead of posting their me me me posts. But hey, to each their own. That's what makes us unique.

Oh man. I can't roll my eyes hard enough.

I also can't disagree more. I feel like having threads dedicated to symptoms and appointments makes it even more likely for people to talk about themselves, versus when people were just allowed to make a post.

Prior to the mass exodus I don't recall much actual pregnancy talk on the month boards, that ish seemed to stay on the tri boards. The month boards were just... more fun.

Agree to disagree.

meatballs37 · June 2017

Also, there seem to be two types of people. Ones that like board organization and ones that don't. I really don't know why there is such an argument over this all the time. The bump seems to have changed over the years to the organized threads. If you don't like it, no one is making you stay.

the_other_mother · June 2017

BelhurstBride said:

meatball37 said:

I can see how the organized threads lead to dead boards since the number one thing people want to talk about is themselves. BUT it takes more creativity and energy to post better content, which leads to a better fb group in the long run. A place where people generally care and want to get to know each other. Instead of posting their me me me posts. But hey, to each their own. That's what makes us unique.

Oh man. I can't roll my eyes hard enough.

I also can't disagree more. I feel like having threads dedicated to symptoms and appointments makes it even more likely for people to talk about themselves, versus when people were just allowed to make a post.

Prior to the mass exodus I don't recall much actual pregnancy talk on the month boards, that ish seemed to stay on the tri boards. The month boards were just... more fun.

The problem is that most of these people making the one off AW posts aren't even regulars participating in the community. It's not "fun" to see the inside of the uterus, hear the dear diary, or learn about the bathroom habits of someone I've never even heard of.

Also... Are you a January or February mom @BelhurstBride? Not that you can't post anywhere you want because it's the internet, but if you're just going to complain about the board well.......

sabriel1 · June 2017

the_other_mother said:

BelhurstBride said:

meatball37 said:

I can see how the organized threads lead to dead boards since the number one thing people want to talk about is themselves. BUT it takes more creativity and energy to post better content, which leads to a better fb group in the long run. A place where people generally care and want to get to know each other. Instead of posting their me me me posts. But hey, to each their own. That's what makes us unique.

Oh man. I can't roll my eyes hard enough.

I also can't disagree more. I feel like having threads dedicated to symptoms and appointments makes it even more likely for people to talk about themselves, versus when people were just allowed to make a post.

Prior to the mass exodus I don't recall much actual pregnancy talk on the month boards, that ish seemed to stay on the tri boards. The month boards were just... more fun.

The problem is that most of these people making the one off AW posts aren't even regulars participating in the community. It's not "fun" to see the inside of the uterus, hear the dear diary, or learn about the bathroom habits of someone I've never even heard of.

Also... Are you a January or February mom @BelhurstBride? Not that you can't post anywhere you want because it's the internet, but if you're just going to complain about the board well.......

I don't love the over organization either, don't think it means I should leave just because I would complain about that.

I am in a FB group from October 2011 and we still managed to get pretty close know and actually care about each other without having a need for uber organization. I agree drive bys and dear diary posts are annoying but those used to take care of themselves with a little snark or with people just not reading those. I used to think things like ticker changes were there to get conversation going and lure out lurkers as opposed to being the main way we communicate

mamajenna_cnm · June 2017

TattoosandLace said:

the_other_mother said:

@TattoosandLace especially when it's an internet stranger who has never given so much as a "hi."

Yessssss. My SIL is 25 weeks and invited everyone to a 4d ultrasound. I didn't go because it was DD2's first birthday. But I definitely don't really care to watch the video of the entire sonogram.

ETA: if I don't care about that one then I definitely don't care about Internet stranger knottie fivethousandseventyfourtwothree

Hahahaha

eggplantface · June 2017

@chucksmom15 She's appealing the ban and will likely show up with a new name

mamajenna_cnm · June 2017

I was on the January 16 BMB and there was definitely a lot of snark. I was more of a lurker on that board BC it was my first, and to be quite honest, I was a bit scared. I'm excited to be a part of this BMB, especially threads like this, being a mom has totally heightened my threshold for sarcasm and drama. I could really use a great laugh at the end of the day...so thanks ladies!

the_other_mother · June 2017

I guess I just don't get what you want when you say that you don't like boards to be "too organized," but you also don't like drive bys. I don't see any reason for an active participant to start a bunch of new threads for things they could discuss within the weekly threads where all the real conversation goes on anyway. There are plenty of new discussions to be had that will be relevant. It's not like no one can ever start a thread if they want to.

sabriel1 · June 2017

the_other_mother said:

I guess I just don't get what you want when you say that you don't like boards to be "too organized," but you also don't like drive bys. I don't see any reason for an active participant to start a bunch of new threads for things they could discuss within the weekly threads where all the real conversation goes on anyway. There are plenty of new discussions to be had that will be relevant. It's not like no one can ever start a thread if they want to.

I just used to find it difficult too start a thread of you weren't like a main poster or something. It might have been/probably was all in my head but it made it difficult too break out of your shell and start something when you are worried someone it's going to say " why are you posting about this, we have a random thread weekly for a reason".

I Don't think with the new TOU that things will every be like they used to be tough. Nothing brings a board together like a couple of crazies and some white knights... The days of bonding over those are over with threads getting shot down so quickly and the ban hammer used so much

meatballs37 · June 2017

@sabriel1 no one is saying anyone has to leave. I just don't understand the constant whining about it being too organized. I think we can all agree that active posters starting new threads that are more than a dear diary are welcomed. But the drive by ones are annoying.

People need to let go of the old bump. It's gone. Time to move on. But that doesn't mean this board can't be shaped into some place great. I just don't understand jumping all over people who like organization. Type A person right here. Sue me.

meatballs37 · June 2017

And I think as the board grows, and we get to know one another. The drive by posts will be easy to identify. I just really don't want to miss the important ones like losses, or births because there are 8 posts on "7 weeks pregnant"."

sabriel1 · June 2017

It's hard to let go of the old bump, definitely guilty especially since most of the boards I used to frequent never really picked back up which is really too bad. As a side note, are the only boards that really survived the month boards and the TTGP board. I noticed parenting, sahm, 1st trimester and baby shower boards are all dead dead dead. Though those ones tended to have a lot of snark so maybe that's why none ever picked back up. Anyone here involved with any other board on the bump that did pick up again after the mass Exodus?

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