The Worst Pregnancy/Parenting Advice

Xath · June 2017

Because the board is slooooooooow. Share some awful pregnancy or parenting advice here. I don't care if it's something someone told you or something you made up.

Xath · June 2017

So I was going to make something up about "forget perineal massage, just get an anal training sex toy instead" but damned if the Internet doesn't already have everything:

https://epi-no.co.uk/

It's a labor-training vagina balloon. That's a real thing that someone marketed.

dancegurl1118 · June 2017

At my first 3 day check up a pediatrician (in my old practice, and a man) told me to stop breastfeeding on demand and put her on a schedule. I just smiled and shook my head OK while thinking "what a dumbass..."

JmUDuuuukes 07 · June 2017

Well I'll share my (somewhat controversial) advice. At a month old, I was told to start mixing rice cereal with breastmilk right before bed so LO would sleep through the night.

nktrodden826 · June 2017

I was told because I didn't cosleep my baby wouldn't feel loved.

LuLiLaEv · June 2017

Pregnancy: Sleep now while you can!

Parenting: Sleep when the baby sleeps!

I'm sure I'll be back with others, I've just blocked them all for now ha!

glitterfish-2 · June 2017

LuLiLaEv said:

Pregnancy: Sleep now while you can!

Parenting: Sleep when the baby sleeps!

I'm sure I'll be back with others, I've just blocked them all for now ha!

Why is it that I can go hours without peeing during the day, but somehow my max is 60-90 min all night??

MamaRN13 · June 2017

I was asked when DS was 2 wks old if he was sleeping through the night. When I (obviously) said no, she told me I need to let him cry so he would learn to self soothe.

I know CIO is controversial, but at TWO WEEKS I don't think it's anyone's business how much I hold my baby to avoid them crying.

ETA that this same lady also told me that to avoid diaper rash I should just not put my 2 week old in a diaper. Sorry but NO

PurplePoppy424 · June 2017

"Formula makes them more full and they'll sleep better. It also helps with reflux." I very clearly was nursing and my DD had reflux.

"It's perfectly fine to feed them from the table." My MIL when DD was 3mo.

"You hold that baby too much. You're spoiling her."

"I bet you're not going to hold this one as much as you did DD."

I know there's more.

dancegurl1118 · June 2017

I love the spoiling a newborn one...

literally a newborn's ONLY need is to be fed and comforted by you. It is actually impossible to spoil a small baby because they cannot make the connections of manipulation. Can a baby get used to being held or rocked to sleep? Sure, just like they use sucking a pacifier or a swing as a sleep cue. But spoiling? No.

lanie1000 · June 2017

@xath um...I've been so scared of labor since I learned this little girl isn't exactly "little" that if that thing popped up in my Amazon.com recommendations I definitely would have considered it. (Bowing my head in shame).

For me me the worst thing ever was being told I need to make my cat and dog live outside since "you should never have animals around a baby." I was so mad!!

satsumasandlemons · June 2017

Babywise. Period.

rnw2019 · June 2017

@satsumasandlemons So one of my best friends gave me that book when I got pregnant and raved about it. I'm a skeptical person, so it sounded a little weird but I never got around to researching whether it's actually good for babies. What are your main concerns?

virginiaunicorn11 · June 2017

A pediatrician told me that at 6 months, DS should be sleeping through the night, and stop nursing him at night. She said, "You just have to let him cry. He may cry until he throws up, but that's ok. You know how sometimes you throw up when you cry a lot? It won't hurt him."

Ummm, no. I don't cry til I throw up. Is that really a thing?!

I never let her talk to me about sleep again.

Xath · June 2017

lanie1000 said:

@xath um...I've been so scared of labor since I learned this little girl isn't exactly "little" that if that thing popped up in my Amazon.com recommendations I definitely would have considered it. (Bowing my head in shame).

For me me the worst thing ever was being told I need to make my cat and dog live outside since "you should never have animals around a baby." I was so mad!!

I mean...there's clearly an audience for it; I just would never have guessed.

satsumasandlemons · June 2017

@rjoys8 one of my best friends gave me the book too - and before I had the baby it definitely made sense to me and I was committed to putting baby on a schedule but in practice it was extremely frustrating and almost impossible to implement without feeling like you were denying your baby food &/or comfort.

A quick google search will turn up a lot of criticism for the book and the author - not many people actually support or back this book, and when I started looking into the guy, I think I remember learning that he wasn't even a pediatrician or child development expert of any kind? I forget it was so long ago when I finally stopped doing that to myself.

I will say Im not anti-scheduling - I do think kids thrive with schedules and routines - but in the newborn phase, it's hard to expect schedules to work. I would absolutely suggest learning to read cues so babies aren't overtired and over stimulated.
(I'm also pro-Ferber/cio when they're ready)

dancegurl1118 · June 2017

Yeah, I'm definitely not anti-schedule...DD was and still is on a very rigid schedule. But NOT as a 3 day old.

rnw2019 · June 2017

@satsumasandlemons thanks for your thoughts! Sorry, I didn't mean to ask you what I could have googled for myself... it's just been stuck in the back of my mind and your post reminded me that I need to find out if it's legit or not.

mamadcb · June 2017

"Maybe he just doesn't need a nap today."

satsumasandlemons · June 2017

@rjoys8 I didn't mean to sound like you should just google it! It was more - I started doubting, I started asking around and googling, and I realized I'm not the only one with issues.

mslynn2012 · June 2017

OMG yes, put rice cereal in the nighttime bottle (and do formula for that one) so baby will sleep through the night. At 2 months. In its crib in its room.

Thanks, but no thanks.

abmommy15 · June 2017

satsumasandlemons said:

Babywise. Period.

I like you. Babywise makes me so angry it's not even funny.

nononorman · June 2017

mslynn2012 said:

OMG yes, put rice cereal in the nighttime bottle (and do formula for that one) so baby will sleep through the night. At 2 months. In its crib in its room.

Thanks, but no thanks.

My husbands grandmother just recommended this and everyone in the room got quiet (like stop talking old lady) and my husband goes "rice krispies???"

mslynn2012 · June 2017

Potterphile said:

mslynn2012 said:

OMG yes, put rice cereal in the nighttime bottle (and do formula for that one) so baby will sleep through the night. At 2 months. In its crib in its room.

Thanks, but no thanks.

My husbands grandmother just recommended this and everyone in the room got quiet (like stop talking old lady) and my husband goes "rice krispies???"

Ahahahahhahahahahah

snap, crackle, pop!

LuLiLaEv · June 2017

Potterphile said:

mslynn2012 said:

OMG yes, put rice cereal in the nighttime bottle (and do formula for that one) so baby will sleep through the night. At 2 months. In its crib in its room.

Thanks, but no thanks.

My husbands grandmother just recommended this and everyone in the room got quiet (like stop talking old lady) and my husband goes "rice krispies???"

When we introduced cereal to DD at like 5 months my husband was shocked when I mixed it up. He was like, "What is that?! That's not CEREAL! It's all mushy!"
I asked what he thought it was supposed to be like and honest to god he answered "Cereal. Like cheerios."

The man would have fed our 5 month old a bowl of cheerios!

satsumasandlemons · June 2017

That reminds me - our pediatrician insisted we start solids with rice cereal. I didn't, I just started with avocados, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, etc. I knew she'd be fine with rice and would need no practice with rice etc. but wanted to at least start with a good foundation of veggies.

WeddingNotes13 · June 2017

virginiaunicorn11 said:

A pediatrician told me that at 6 months, DS should be sleeping through the night, and stop nursing him at night. She said, "You just have to let him cry. He may cry until he throws up, but that's ok. You know how sometimes you throw up when you cry a lot? It won't hurt him."

Ummm, no. I don't cry til I throw up. Is that really a thing?!

I never let her talk to me about sleep again.

I would not have went back! That is horrible! I am so glad you had the sense to not follow that advice. Imagine anyone that was not as confident in themselves and put all trust in the doc.

OperaSingerMommy · June 2017

mamadcb said:

"Maybe he just doesn't need a nap today."

Ha, I've heard this one too. Yeah, okay, and maybe I don't need my sanity today!!

alcrimmins · June 2017

It's ok to give a bottle of water to your newborn. How else are they going to rinse the taste of milk out of their mouth?

hyperangel_8509 · June 2017

My MIL said I had to shave DD's head because she had no hair for the first year and her hair was so fine when it did grow in. No, no I do not need to shave my poor kid's head.

abmommy15 · June 2017

virginiaunicorn11 said:

A pediatrician told me that at 6 months, DS should be sleeping through the night, and stop nursing him at night. She said, "You just have to let him cry. He may cry until he throws up, but that's ok. You know how sometimes you throw up when you cry a lot? It won't hurt him."

Ummm, no. I don't cry til I throw up. Is that really a thing?!

I never let her talk to me about sleep again.

I have a hard time understanding why some doctors try to advise on non-medical issues...and why some parents actually listen to/solicit their advice. Like my doctor went to medical school not sleep through the night school or car seat safety school so she can talk to me about medical stuff and if needed I will find a sleep expert to help with that.

BusyZee · June 2017

Some of these are too funny. I haven't gotten any advice really!
hyperangel_8509 said:

My MIL said I had to shave DD's head because she had no hair for the first year and her hair was so fine when it did grow in. No, no I do not need to shave my poor kid's head.

A lot of kids get their heads shaved where I come from, my sister got hers done because her hair was very, very fine. My grandad(maternal) and my dad just took her one day to the hairdresser and got her head shaved. My mum cried all day because she couldn't stand seeing my sister staring at her bald head in the mirror all day lol but it came out thicker..

who knows if it was supposed to come out thicker or the shaving did it lol. Also I know plenty kids especially in village areas in pak they shave their kids hair all the time and they have THICK hair!

hyperangel_8509 · June 2017

BusyZee said:

Some of these are too funny. I haven't gotten any advice really!
hyperangel_8509 said:

My MIL said I had to shave DD's head because she had no hair for the first year and her hair was so fine when it did grow in. No, no I do not need to shave my poor kid's head.

A lot of kids get their heads shaved where I come from, my sister got hers done because her hair was very, very fine. My grandad(maternal) and my dad just took her one day to the hairdresser and got her head shaved. My mum cried all day because she couldn't stand seeing my sister staring at her bald head in the mirror all day lol but it came out thicker..

who knows if it was supposed to come out thicker or the shaving did it lol. Also I know plenty kids especially in village areas in pak they shave their kids hair all the time and they have THICK hair!

I'm not sure the merit in shaving heads to get thicker hair. I also was a poor bald baby for over a year and I now have thick curly hair (and never had my head shaved). DD has great hair now....without having to shave it. I think it's an OWT, personally. LOL

virginiaunicorn11 · June 2017

WeddingNotes13 said:

virginiaunicorn11 said:

A pediatrician told me that at 6 months, DS should be sleeping through the night, and stop nursing him at night. She said, "You just have to let him cry. He may cry until he throws up, but that's ok. You know how sometimes you throw up when you cry a lot? It won't hurt him."

Ummm, no. I don't cry til I throw up. Is that really a thing?!

I never let her talk to me about sleep again.

I would not have went back! That is horrible! I am so glad you had the sense to not follow that advice. Imagine anyone that was not as confident in themselves and put all trust in the doc.

We moved not very long after that, so I just lied to her about sleep at the next check up and left it at that. But you're right. We got a questionnaire about her, and were very honest. She was pretty unprofessional all around.
I think it's really important for new parents to distinguish between medical advice and parenting advice. Doctors can be weird about that.

maribeth0721 · June 2017

Not really advice I just wish people would stop saying things like "you will never sleep again!" or "your body just won't be the same" or "I hope she's not like you, you cried ALL the time." These are really just unnecessary things to say to a pregnant woman....