FFFC 6/9

Nxy · June 2017

Flame free confessions

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/9f/e8qt263to8ck.jpg

Anyone have a confession that'll make me make the same face this did??

SouthernMama15 · June 2017

I'm dying @Nxy. That's hilarious.

I can't think of anything good, but this morning I let DS watch tv in bed so I could try to sleep a little longer

littlebug2010 · June 2017

@Nxy DED!!!!

My FFFC is that becuase I get so hot so easily, I will be WFH any time the temperature goes above 80. Next week its supposed to be in the 90s for a few days, and I cant wait to veg on the couch! I will be working, but in PJs and possibly without a bra.

HappyToBeHere · June 2017

DD's daycare called me a couple days ago to inform me that she had a fall and seemed on-and-off upset about her left hand. She had just gone down for a nap, so I told them to call me if she didn't seem better when she woke up (which they did, as she wasn't using her hand). So I went to pick her up and bring her back to work with me, thinking she probably bruised it pretty good and maybe a strain. DH and I took her to the doctor the next day when she was still not really using the hand, and they sent her for an x-ray which showed a fracture. I felt badly, but was glad to have caught it quickly.

My FFFC is that I worried more, and was more upset about a spider bite she got 2 weeks ago at daycare that made her knee swell than I am about a fractured wrist. The fracture feels more controllable to me, while the spider bite brings a ton of questions along with it in my (anxious) mind, like what kind of spider was it? Is there a spider issue in the playground? What kind of reaction do I need to be looking for?

SouthernMama15 · June 2017

@HappyToBeHere I would probably feel the same way. It's scary when your kids fall, but mine falls a lot and usually bounces right back up. He keeps getting bit by mosquitoes at the in-laws house and while he doesn't seem to even notice, it freaks me out. We don't have a good yard for playing in, so I love that he gets to go out lots when he's at their house, but they do yard work and have him out there when they work in the flower beds, pressure wash, cut grass, etc. They live in a wooded area and I worry about snakes and bugs, especially since one of his favorite things to do is pick up sticks before they cut grass. What if he picks up a snake or something?

and_peggy · June 2017

My FFFC is that as soon as I get in a room with my MIL, I start counting down the time until we get to leave. I love my inlaws but she drives me up a flippin wall. She is genuine most of the time but I feel like she can be so condescending in her tone when it comes to how we are raising DD.

bumpybump · June 2017

I get way too much pleasure out of telling the ILs we don't need anything for this baby. They are all about getting the biggest and most expensive things just to gloat. I'm a bit afraid what crap they will bring when this baby arrives.
Related, we are having DD's birthday this weekend and we know they made her a picnic table. Well, she already has one and they know this. So why give her another one? They always get so disappointed if they give her something that's a duplicate. I get satisfaction out of seeing their disappointment every time.

@littlebug2010 we've been been in the 90's since last weekend with no end in sight. Someone made the comment that we are having "July weather" and I wanted to cry. I want July to be highs in the 70's. I can't even bring myself to let DD play outside because I know I'll be miserable.
Some moms asked me yesterday what I'd be willing to do for play dates outside and the only answer I had was splash pads with shade.

HappyToBeHere · June 2017

@SouthernMama15 - yes; kids have such an innocent disregard for bugs/creepy crawlies!! Luckily, we don't have snakes where we are (maybe garters, but that'd be it), but I hate the idea of mosquitoes biting her constantly and/or blackflies, spiders, ants, etc....so I feel your pain!

littlebug2010 · June 2017

@bumpybump usually I love the 90s. I would love to live where it was HOT all the time. However, I have been so warm lately, that I have a hard time in 75 degrees. I cant thank my DH enough for getting our new central air units installed a few months ago!

bumpybump · June 2017

@littlebug2010 our church had the temperature in the sanctuary at 76 last Sunday. I was DYING!

littlebug2010 · June 2017

@bumpybump I sing in the church choir, and the last two months, Ive had to go without a robe, becuase its too hot! Its supposed to be 93 on Sunday, and Im nervous its going to be too hot for me to even be in there at all.

PinkPrincessPiper · June 2017

@HappyToBeHere Ouch! I feel for your DD! DS1 had "nurse-maid elbow" when he was about 2 from a babysitter that required a trip to the hospital. So scary!

FFFC (and this isn't throwing shade at @bumpybump 's post) is that I'd never turn down a gift from my parents/in-laws, no matter how over-the-top, or brag-worthy it is for them. Bring it on! FWIW, my ILs don't do anything for our kids (hardly even see them), and I think my mom tries to compensate for that, even though she doesn't need to.

SouthernMama15 · June 2017

@bumpybump sounds like my in-laws. They already bought him new bedding and shoes. Now they want to get something else. I said I was getting him a water table and kiddie pool and FIL says he can save me some money and buy a galvanized tub for $12 at tractor supply. The water table is $40, we can afford it. They go way over the top at birthdays and Christmas and we can't and don't want to compete. They got onto his parents when DH and sil were kids but don't see they're doing the same thing.

bumpybump · June 2017

@PinkPrincessPiper we don't turn the gifts down, we just don't use them and then they get all disappointed. Especially when it was clothing based for DD, MIL always got the wrong sizes or seasons and then got all pissy when I wouldn't put her in them. Well, lady, listen to the sizes we tell you and maybe she'd be able to wear them. It was her fault, not ours.

lewliv · June 2017

I didn't want a shower. MIL and FIL really wanted to throw one and I compromised by saying they could do a simple BBQ to celebrate the baby, no games, no opening gifts, close family & friends. DH said he would grill. Now we have 70 guests, catering, and every day is a new thing: milkshake station, water ice cart, food truck for fries and onion rings, you name it. Everyday is me saying No, No, No! My FFFC is that I'm already planning "not to feel well" and bail in the first opportunity I get.

tova24 · June 2017

@lewliv at least grab a milkshake and onion rings before bailing! Better yet, grab a little bit of everything and camp out in front of tv!

my confession is my doctor told me I could go back to work yesterday if I wanted to. I asked him to write my note so that I could take the day off. Then I went to the dentist, dropped my car off at the body shop, got my TDap shot, and binged watched old episodes of Grey's Anatomy.

DeansGirl14 · June 2017

lewliv said:

I didn't want a shower. MIL and FIL really wanted to throw one and I compromised by saying they could do a simple BBQ to celebrate the baby, no games, no opening gifts, close family & friends. DH said he would grill. Now we have 70 guests, catering, and every day is a new thing: milkshake station, water ice cart, food truck for fries and onion rings, you name it. Everyday is me saying No, No, No! My FFFC is that I'm already planning "not to feel well" and bail in the first opportunity I get.

Can I come to your shower? Sounds fun! LOL

I get where you're coming from though. I had a hell of a time refusing a bridal shower (FFC- I don't believe in them, considering you celebrate marriage at the wedding and a separate event just to give gifts is dumb to me) and my MIL was very upset but got over it. With the baby on the way, I would have been perfectly happy with a simple in-home baby shower but let her run with with planning a fancy luncheon at a nice restaurant with decorations and desserts up the wazoo. DH is her only child, this will be the only grandchild, and going over the top to celebrate a new baby made her happy. So.

lewliv · June 2017

@tova24 I'll admit that I didn't say no to the milkshake. I can't stand the smell of fryers so the food truck was a hard no. I have a hard time eating anything fried unless the food is really hot and have 0 oil smell.

Ed. I just wish that they would keep it simple. At this point, I feel like the party is more for them than for the baby. I also really don't want to have to talk to this many people, many that I only met a couple times

tova24 · June 2017

@lewliv milkshakes are like gold right now. In my second trimester, I picked up a milkshake before work and drank it during our morning meeting. It was 8:30 in the morning--people thought I was crazy.

imwithbaby · June 2017

@Nxy I'm dead. Can't even.

My confession is that I listed to a podcast about breastfeeding and it was wildly informative but now I want to do it even less

Still planning on trying, though!

HappyToBeHere · June 2017

I didn't want a baby shower either with my first, but my MIL wouldn't drop it. It felt uncomfortable, and because I was team green, everyone (MIL especially) kept razzing me about "what will I BUY if I don't know the sex?!". It was annoying to keep a happy, polite face, and say "ohhhh just the necessities that don't correspond with girl vs. boy!". I registered for all practical things, and most people actually nailed it (one woman knitted a yellow and white blanket, with a yellow and white newborn hat that had both a pompom on the top and a flower on the side, and I was to just snip off whichever didn't suit the baby).

MIL didn't throw the shower (DH's aunt and cousin did), and they were very, very respectful of the fact that I wanted it small and simple. There was soup and salad for a light lunch, and maybe 20 people. It ended up working out pretty well.

SouthernMama15 · June 2017

I'm in such a bad mood, I could gladly punch someone in the face and not feel the least bit bad about it. I want DH to just come home and hold me while I cry. At this point for the rest of my pregnancy I don't want to see or speak to anyone except my husband and son. Why can't people just listen and tell you everything will be ok instead of trying to give useless advice?

Nxy · June 2017

SouthernMama15 said:

I'm dying @Nxy. That's hilarious.

I can't think of anything good, but this morning I let DS watch tv in bed so I could try to sleep a little longer

I guess I have to one up you.. I do that every morning

. DD watches an episode of my little pony while I sleep for 20 minutes longer.

HappyToBeHere · June 2017

Hugs @SouthernMama15!!

knottiee689565f63838b35 · June 2017

My dad is getting married tomorrow and neither me or brothers really care for his new wife. I may "get sick" and leave after the ceremony. May do the same tonight at dinner with both of my dads parents (also divorced) because I don't like drama....
it should also be noted this is like the lady's who my dad is marrying) 6th wedding or something crazy...

smallbutmighty77 · June 2017

I was just told that my dad's side of the family is having a family reunion the day before my shower...My shower is very small-less than 20-so that is great. The reunion I am now required to be at- not so much.

I don't know most of these people, the ones I do, I haven't seen since my Bat Mitzvah (13) if that. So not excited about being 8mos pregnant at some strangers house.
My dad insisted it wasn't a big deal- the invite list is over 200 and they already have 80 confirmed!! Oh and we have to bring something!

I can already hear all the 'I knew you when you were just a kid- and now your having a kid!' and all the touching!! That side of the family is touchy, I am tempted to wear a 'don't touch my belly' shirt but it would hurt my dad.

SpotConlon · June 2017

Every time someone asks me about themes for baby, I draw a blank. I'm having a couple small baby showers thrown by coworkers (the preschool team I work with and the other speech therapists), and they keep asking about specifics. I usually just tell them "cute animals" or "baby things???" I just don't care about things coordinating that much, especially if a baby is going to puke all over it at some point.

SouthernMama15 · June 2017

@HappyToBeHere Thanks! My mom really pissed me off. I've been on my new anxiety med just over 2 weeks and every time I talk to her she tells me I need to ask the doctor to increase the dose. I don't need more medicine. I'm not any more anxious than any other woman who is 31 weeks pregnant with an almost 2 year old who keeps getting ear infections and is getting tubes next week. I'm sleep deprived and overwhelmed, I think I'm allowed to be a little stressed.

lwhrmomma · June 2017

@bumpybump
Sounds like my in laws too. They get pleasure from one-upping everyone else. For DSs birthday, we suggested they either get toys to keep at their house, or just contribute to his college fund, and they said no to both. So instead they showed up with a paw patrol bicycle, knowing full well that my parents has bought him the 4in1 trike at Christmas time. He's 2 and nowhere near ready for a bike. By the time he can get use out of it, he prob won't even be into paw patrol. Like you, I get joy out of seeing their disappointment that it will sit in our basement, unused. Just like the clothes they buy him are often stuffed in the back of the closet unworn. They don't buy him stuff that I find cute.... If they wanted to help, i would rather they give cash so I can pick out outfits myself. Im sure that makes me a brat, who knows.... but they had their own kids to dress and buy stuff for, and this is my chance. Im kinda hoping this baby is another boy so we can reuse everything. If it's a girl, I already anticipate them going crazy buying all girly stuff which we don't need.

smallbutmighty77 · June 2017

My sisters in laws are all about this! My niece went on a weekend away with them-and her cousins from across the country that she sees like once a year. My sisters ILs knew she was coming to see us the next weekend. They took her to swim with dolphins, and to feed giraffes at the zoo. Bought her all sorts of crap-clothes, toys, candy.
She comes here and we went to a standard zoo and the field museum.

Apparently my niece went home and told them all about how she got to see her aunt Nikki and her pregnant belly and she was so excited to come back next month for 'showers' and to meet her cousin soon. They kept asking her about the dolphins and stuff from their trip and she could not have cared less.
My sister thought it was hysterical-so did my BIL b/c he hates how much they try to 'compete'.

Mango517 · June 2017

@SouthernMama15 Huge Hugs. Having that stress and a mom who doggedly insists on an increase of meds instead of offering something helpful like babysitting or a house cleaner would make me rage.

SouthernMama15 · June 2017

@Mango517 she lives about 2 hours away. She keeps saying she's going to come help, but she doesn't. My sister lives less than a mile from her and while she pays her to keep her kids, she goes above and beyond for her. It hurts my feelings but I bring it up she says I'm accusing her of loving them more.

tova24 · June 2017

@SouthernMama15 hugs! I literally would ignore mom and go get a prenatal massage. It's really unfair of her to tell you to adjust your meds.

OTmom3 · June 2017

My FFFC is that I really wish someone in my family or DH's would ask us if we need anything for the baby. We have a lot of basics like the crib, carseat (borrowed actually because ours will expire soon after baby arrives), bouncy seat, and a lot of clothes from DD, but we really need a few things that I keep putting off buying like a rock n play, new swaddling blankets, a diaper bag, or even just diapers. I'm getting a little stressed because we never have as much money coming in during the summer as the rest of the year (DH is a teacher) and I need to buy my DD a new bed because we are moving beds around (DS in using the crib as a toddler bed and he will get DD's bed).

emmeline714 · June 2017

My FFFC I wish the 20th of June would come now....I been MIA from here

been so busy with work to the point I have not ate lunch at times and just trying to make sure I get so much done before August comes. I had to leave early the other day because I was in so much pain I had all kinds of discomfort that I almost called the doctor to see if they can hurry up and just take me in for PT as my lower back has been a bish for two weeks but instead went home to relax and fell asleep for 2 hours and still had pains to the point every direction I rolled over too was painful. I am ready for August to be here and get over the summer and it has not yet started but weather has

Kudlica27 · June 2017

@bumpybump & @littlebug2010 I am dreading the heat!!! I live in Ohio and was hoping for a mild Ohio summer. The forecast for the next week is all in the 90s.

AdvoCyndi30 · June 2017

I feel like the weirdo. I LOVE being around people. All the time. I love family get-togethers and wedding/baby showers and all that jazz. It isn't even about the gifts...I just love big groups and get-togethers! I'm an extreme extrovert, though...and I married an introvert and my oldest is an introvert, so I've had to learn when they need breaks and time at home.

AdvoCyndi30 · June 2017

My FFFC is that I feel like my MIL's completely obvious biased toward my niece over my kids makes me dislike my niece and my SIL.

MH and I have asked my MIL to babysit twice in the past year and a half. That's all. And it wasn't for a date night, it was because I was working and DH was offered overtime, so we needed a sitter so we could work. Her response both times was, "I guess, but you owe me." WTF?!

Meanwhile, my SIL has her watch her daughter every other weekend, but sometimes multiple weekends in a row. My MIL will drive to pick up my niece on Friday afternoon, and keep her until my SIL picks her up Sunday evening. She says it is so she can work...but my SIL's hours are noon to 7pm...and she lives 5 minutes from her job and about 15 minutes from my MIL.

I asked my MIL why SIL couldn't pick her up after work and drop her off the next morning...and my MIL says, "Well, that's just a lot of back and forth and she is tired. She needs a break sometimes." Ummm....no that's called being a mother!

MIL also said, "Her in-laws will only watch (my niece) every now and then. It just isn't fair to her. She needs a date night and some alone time!"

Uhh...my parents live 5 hours away. MH and I go on dates and have to pay a babysitter due to my MIL's attitude about watching them. It just hurts and I don't understand. I've asked MULTIPLE times if they act bad, and she always raves about how great they are and how easy they are to watch.

She and MH have a weird relationship and he won't ever call her out on it. We just deal with it and pay for childcare when we need it...meanwhile, my SIL has free weekends at least 2-3 times a month between my MIL and her in-laws. I don't understand no how she can leave her daughter that often.

lewliv · June 2017

@AdvoCyndi30 I know you haven't asked for advice but I'll just tell you the same thing I tell my husband. My IL will not watch our kid and DH is angry that his grandparents watched him and his sister when they were kids but his parents won't do the same. He's pissed off that we will spend $1200 in daycare for 3 days a week and take care of the kid when working from home while his parents do nothing all day. My advice to him: let it go. They have 0 obligation, this is our child, our responsibility and they have the right to not want to watch a baby. Your MIL has the right to feel more connected to her daughter and niece. Yes, it sucks, but being upset about it only affects you and it's not worth it. It's not uncommon for women to feel more connected to the child of her daughters as opposed of their sons as we, as mothers, are more like to prefer the support of our own mothers during the early stages of motherhood than the support of our MILs.

OTmom3 · June 2017

AdvoCyndi30 said:

I feel like the weirdo. I LOVE being around people. All the time. I love family get-togethers and wedding/baby showers and all that jazz. It isn't even about the gifts...I just love big groups and get-togethers! I'm an extreme extrovert, though...and I married an introvert and my oldest is an introvert, so I've had to learn when they need breaks and time at home.

I love being around people too and big parties, etc. I have found in my adult years that I definitely need my alone time too. I used to hate staying home and not hanging out with people or doing things by myself. That has changed since becoming a mom, haha.

AdvoCyndi30 · June 2017

@lewliv Good and rational points and I think I would be more understanding if she wouldn't complain to me about how unfair my SIL has it. She truly has it easy. she coddles her (and her other son, my BIL) and definitely has a semi-unhealthy codependent relationship with them, and doesn't have that wig MH (thank goodness!)

She absolutely doesnt have any obligation, and I try to remind myself of that. She lived with us for awhile and we were VERY careful to not ever assume she would watch our kids. If we were running to the store, even for a 5 minute trip, we took them with us.

I think my biggest complaint is that she assumes the weekends she has my niece, we will bring over our kids, because she has said multiple times how "they make it easier because they keep (my niece) busy!" I've heard her get onto my kids when my niece gets into something she shouldn't because "they should have been watching her!" ...they are 9 and 5 and DEFINITELY not responsible for a 3 year old.

My SIL posted on my Facebook today that my niece wanted to get together with my kids. We were trying to plan a day, but we don't have an open day during the week. My MIL commented that since she would have my niece this weekend they could all play together then. Like it's just assumed they'll come over out of conveniece to her when she never wants to see them otherwise. I just won't/can't do it.

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