@AdvoCyndi30 that sounds super frustrating. It sounds like it's not at all about her watching the kids and more about her treating them differently and making up lame excuses for SIL.
@kvh22 it's the Mom Inspiried Podcast with Amber Sandburg, episode #18: Overcoming the Challenges of Breastfeeding with Lactation Consultant Jackie Randolph. It's like 45 minutes. It really was helpful since I know literally nothing about breastfeeding but also kind of overwhelming! I don't want to wake my sleeping baby up every three hours to feed!
@mrsmatt1212 you have to do that with formula or breast babies till they get to a certain weight. DS slept 4 hours the night he was born and they got onto me because they need to eat every 2-3. We had to set alarms to wake him to get him to eat. Once he reached a certain weight pediatrician said to let him sleep as long as he would. That's why it's bull when people ask if newborns sleep through the night, they're not supposed to. Their tummies are super small
@kvh22 Definitely. She has a very codependent relationship with her other two kids. MH has a different dad than they do. He's the oldest. **TW** She married the dad of her other two kids and they divorced also, and a few years ago he committed suicide, when her other two kids were 16 and 17.
My BIL is 24, lives with her, has a decent job but absolutely NO social life outside of that. He comes home and plays video games all night. He doesn't help with bills. He literally has no friends, which makes me super sad. He is extrememly depressed and overweight. In the 10 years I've known him, I've only ever seen him eat pizza and fried chicken. She says, "He's just a picky eater."
Our lawnmower broke, and we asked off we could borrorow hers for the afternoon. She said, "I guess, but if I do that, you have to mow my yard too." MH said, "Um, what about (brother who lives there)? Why is he not mowing the yard on a regular basis?" She said, "Well, he works. And he's tired. He only has weekends off and I don't want him having to do yard work."
It's just sad. It's so unhealthy and I'm VERY thankful my husband is independent.
@SouthernMama15@kvh22 well now my midwife was talking to me about it today and she said there's parent-led feeding (what we are talking about, setting a specific schedule) and there's baby-led feeding where you feed on demand, which could be 1.5 hours here and 4 hours there. The LC on the podcast said you aren't waking baby to make sure they get enough food, you're doing it to keep your supply up. I'm definitely going to do my own research for this, but baby-led feeding sounds better for me (and midwife agreed) since I'm at risk for PPD/PPA and such a strict schedule could make me crazy.
@lewliv@SouthernMama15@kvh22 I just looked to see what Kelly Mom had to say on the topic (once a night/every 4-5 hours sounds much more reasonable to me):
“My newborn wants to sleep all the time! Should I wake him to nurse?”
Yes, if he doesn’t wake on his own. Many newborns are very sleepy in the early days or weeks and may not exhibit hunger cues as often as they actually need to eat. Newborns should be nursed anytime they cue hunger, but at least every 2 hours during the day and at least once during the night. Once your baby has established a good weight gain pattern (at least 4 ounces per week, for babies under 4 months), you can stop waking baby to nurse and let him set his own pattern.
“My baby just started sleeping longer at night. Do I need to wake him to nurse?”
If your baby is younger than 4 weeks, then it is a good idea to wake baby at least every 4-5 hours at night to nurse if he does not wake on his own. If your child is older than 4 weeks, you can allow baby to sleep as long as he wants at night as long as he is peeing, pooping, and gaining weight within normal parameters.
@AdvoCyndi30 - ugh, that sounds like such a toxic situation for MIL/BIL but she is definitely enabling him. Glad your DH is so normal
@mrsmatt1212 this is definitely a case of not knowing what I don't know. I'm so glad to have all of you ladies. We'll be here to support you but it sounds like your doc is on top of things with monitoring you and trying to enable you to breastfeed without putting your own health at risk as much as possible. I signed up for a breastfeeding class with DH at the hospital and bought The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding to have as a reference.
@mrsmatt1212 interesting. DS lost a lot of weight in the hospital and we had to go back for weight checks until he was back to birth weight. I honestly didn't sleep when he did because I was waking up to see if he was breathing or if he made too much noise or not enough noise.
@mrsmatt1212 I actually just listened to that podcast tonight- thanks for suggesting it! I found it interesting that she recommended waking baby during the day to feed even when they're at their post-birth weight mark. According to her, the baby will wake up more at night if you skip day-time feedings. Definitely something to research.
@mrsmatt1212@kvh22@secicc12@SouthernMama15 Just my personal experience with DD (which can be totally different with this LO). DD was back to her birth weight at her 2 week appointment. She started waking only once during the night around 4 weeks old (that changed later when teeth came in). I never woke her to nurse, including during the day. If she slept longer than was "typical," I pumped to keep my supply up. So I'd say we followed the baby-led feeding.
***TW in Siggy*** Me: 34 / DH: 33 Married: Nov 2011 TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014 TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
With BFing, all babies are different and you need to figure out what works best for you and the baby. DS1 was in the NICU for a few days and lost more than 10% of his birth weight. When he was discharged, I was told he could have a single 4 hour stretch at night, but otherwise I should feed him at least every 3 hours until he was back up to his birth weight. He was back up by 2 weeks. I never woke DS2.
I fed both kids on demand and followed their cues. From pretty early on, they fell into a pattern of eating every 3 to sometimes 4 hours during the day. DS1 didn't STTN until 7 months, but DS2 STTN at 10 weeks. DS1 also nursed for 45-60 minutes at a time and was never an efficient eater even as he got older while DS2 nursed for 10 minutes per side from the beginning.
@bumpybump I'm thinking around 2 weeks was when he got back up to birth weight then he slept great unless he was stuffy. Even with teething. He slept better as an infant than he does as a toddler. Hoping the tubes we're on our way to get fix that.
I also just followed DD's cues and did baby-led bf'ing. Around 6 weeks she would get super crabby at night and ended up cluster feeding. But then she started doing really stretches at night. Bf'ing was really pretty laid back for us and I just fed her when she wanted to eat. Maybe this advice has changed since then but I've always heard you can't overfeed a bf baby (doesn't count for ep'ing I believe).
Re: FFFC 6/9
@AdvoCyndi30 that sounds super frustrating. It sounds like it's not at all about her watching the kids and more about her treating them differently and making up lame excuses for SIL.
My BIL is 24, lives with her, has a decent job but absolutely NO social life outside of that. He comes home and plays video games all night. He doesn't help with bills. He literally has no friends, which makes me super sad. He is extrememly depressed and overweight. In the 10 years I've known him, I've only ever seen him eat pizza and fried chicken. She says, "He's just a picky eater."
Our lawnmower broke, and we asked off we could borrorow hers for the afternoon. She said, "I guess, but if I do that, you have to mow my yard too." MH said, "Um, what about (brother who lives there)? Why is he not mowing the yard on a regular basis?" She said, "Well, he works. And he's tired. He only has weekends off and I don't want him having to do yard work."
It's just sad. It's so unhealthy and I'm VERY thankful my husband is independent.
“My newborn wants to sleep all the time! Should I wake him to nurse?”
Yes, if he doesn’t wake on his own. Many newborns are very sleepy in the early days or weeks and may not exhibit hunger cues as often as they actually need to eat. Newborns should be nursed anytime they cue hunger, but at least every 2 hours during the day and at least once during the night. Once your baby has established a good weight gain pattern (at least 4 ounces per week, for babies under 4 months), you can stop waking baby to nurse and let him set his own pattern.
“My baby just started sleeping longer at night. Do I need to wake him to nurse?”
If your baby is younger than 4 weeks, then it is a good idea to wake baby at least every 4-5 hours at night to nurse if he does not wake on his own. If your child is older than 4 weeks, you can allow baby to sleep as long as he wants at night as long as he is peeing, pooping, and gaining weight within normal parameters.
@mrsmatt1212 this is definitely a case of not knowing what I don't know. I'm so glad to have all of you ladies. We'll be here to support you but it sounds like your doc is on top of things with monitoring you and trying to enable you to breastfeed without putting your own health at risk as much as possible. I signed up for a breastfeeding class with DH at the hospital and bought The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding to have as a reference.
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
I fed both kids on demand and followed their cues. From pretty early on, they fell into a pattern of eating every 3 to sometimes 4 hours during the day. DS1 didn't STTN until 7 months, but DS2 STTN at 10 weeks. DS1 also nursed for 45-60 minutes at a time and was never an efficient eater even as he got older while DS2 nursed for 10 minutes per side from the beginning.