Weekly Randoms 5/22

mercury94 · June 2017

My mom just posted this on FB supposedly asking Hollywood to make cleaner movies.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/op/7oace308u00r.jpg

Would it be terrible if I commented on it with something along the lines of F that?

Sugargirl1019 · June 2017

I have a fear..

I've been following a friend's postpartum struggles and her marriage is not surviving it. Her husband just has so much resentment and thinks the baby hates him and he refuses to go to counseling. I'm so scared that this will happen to DH and me.. I don't want our marriage to be ruined because of the infant years. And now I feel even more "what have I done?" even though we tried for a year to have this baby and both really wanted a baby.

wyomama0427 · June 2017

Sugargirl1019 said:

I have a fear..

I've been following a friend's postpartum struggles and her marriage is not surviving it. Her husband just has so much resentment and thinks the baby hates him and he refuses to go to counseling. I'm so scared that this will happen to DH and me.. I don't want our marriage to be ruined because of the infant years. And now I feel even more "what have I done?" even though we tried for a year to have this baby and both really wanted a baby.

So I'm not gonna lie, postpartum is hard and sometimes it does seem like baby doesn't like you. You give and give and they take and take and for the first few weeks/months you get really nothing out of it. But that first purposeful smile, the one they actually want to do, not just because of gas.. when they say mama, when they grab your face and give you a sticky kiss.. it's all so worth it. Marriage is hard to begin with and having an infant definitely makes it harder. But keep communicating, don't forget about each other, make a point to put your marriage high on your priorities. Remember that this is hard for both of you. You both wanted a baby. This baby is here because of the immense love between you two. Don't forget that. It's hard, but you'll be okay.

Hope that eases your fear a little.

heatherlynn321 · June 2017

@Sugargirl1019 I don't think I had PPD, but I definitely had the baby blues. Something that I think made the baby blues worse was that I wasn't comfortable nursing in front of people so I was constantly isolated by myself with just the baby, which made me start to feel resentful towards the baby, which then made me feel like a terrible mom. It wasn't till I got comfortable nursing in front of people with a nursing cover on that I started to feel less isolated and better again. Every case of PPD and baby blues are different, but that was just something that helped me to feel better again.

mercury94 · June 2017

@Sugargirl1019 I'm scared too. DH and I talk about it regularly. We're trying to be as prepared as possible, but it's a whole new experience and we aren't completely sure what to expect.

Sugargirl1019 · June 2017

We saw the new Pirates of the Caribbean last night! It was really really good! Scary, lots of things jumping out at you (going for the 3d thing .. that will be intense in 3D!). I laughed a lot and followed the story line and didn't get lost like the past few.

sarahufl · June 2017

@Sugargirl1019, I hear you on the fears, but if it makes you feel better, we had absolutely no issues when DD was born. We both adapted really, really well to her and have just had the best time having her around. She makes us both unbelievably happy and H and I both have so much fun with her, from the day we brought her home.

Struggles are real, and I am really hoping that #2 doesn't pose any problems, but sometimes the transition is just a really good, really fun one.

Sugargirl1019 · June 2017

@sarahufl That's really great to hear that some people do have an easier transition without negative marriage effects. I talked to DH about my fear and he reassured me that he was very excited and wanting to help and be a caregiver just as much as me and understands lack of sleep will be rough, so I think his attitude will help

Becky012016 · June 2017

@sugargirl1019 a baby won't break a strong marriage. A baby might magnify problems that were already there but it won't create new, marriage-ending problems. Communication is key in any healthy relationship. Men can get baby blues/depression but with any mental illness, the person experiencing it has to seek help on their own time and have a strong support system to get them through. I remember being so worried about getting ppd with DS that I told DH our mantra would be, "the days are long but the weeks/months/years are short." It seemed so silly to have a preemptive mantra to get through the hard days before they even happened but it really worked for us and helped keep everything in perspective when those days came. The newborn phase isn't rainbows and unicorns but you guys will get through it together, as a team.

Weekly Randoms 5/22

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