Paternity Leave

vvitchhazel · June 2017

We just found out that DH gets two weeks of paid paternity leave. I am shocked and amazed! He worked somewhere else when DD was born and was only able to take off whatever vacation days he saved up. I'm slightly bummed that we have so much going on this fall that requires him to use vacation time or he'd be able to take a full month off, without losing pay!

Curious about what everyone else is getting?

GraysonsMama · June 2017

My husband gets 6 weeks paid that he can take anytime in the first year of the baby's life. It is an amazing perk.He only took 2 weeks off last time because he's silly. I'm going to insist that he takes more this time because why not.

vvitchhazel · June 2017

@collectiveliving & @KLake42 Also curious about how it works for you guys? My friend's wife wasn't working when their LO was born, but I'm interested to hear what options your wives have! (Especially since yours is the genetic mother, @KLake42!)

vvitchhazel · June 2017

@GraysonsMama Wow! Six weeks is awesome! He should definitely take more advantage of that. So many dad's don't even get more than their weekend off! It's so sad!

moonlady-2 · June 2017

No paid paternity leave at all. He will have two weeks of vacation with pay and should have two+ weeks of sick pay by then that he can use. Then a couple of personal days. So he'll have about a month off that is paid. He would have another week but we're going on vacation in August for a week. It seems like so little. ugh

SierraGood · June 2017

With DD hubby got ten days after we came home from the hospital.... It helped but was still rough cause I was still healing and learning to breastfeed.

Marley629 · June 2017

DH gets paternity leave but can't take it. He's a fireman and they way they get them not to take it is to say that they can't promise they will return to the same firehouse and shift when they come back and it's like a brotherhood with these guys so I can see why he can't/won't take it. He works 24 hour shifts and is off then for 72 hours so we will make it work!

NME44 · June 2017

DH can take 3 months of paid paternity leave, however I'm not sure if they use his sick time for it. He will probably take a month like he has in the past.

side note: with our first the government shit down for 3 weeks right before I had the baby, so he went back sooner than he had originally planned bc he was getting cabin fever being at home so long.

ETA: shut down. The government SHUT down.

kln62689 · June 2017

We were bummed to find out that my husband gets no actual paid maternity leave. His option is to combine banked vacation and sick time OR do FMLA at 60% pay. That isn't really financially feasible at this point, so he will likely take 2 weeks of vaca / sick then go back. Luckily we live near my family and I can get help if I need it. It's disappointing because he works for a reputable company but it's kind of a 'good ol boys' culture. My employer just increased paternity leave to 4 weeks paid, and my prior employer offered 8 weeks paid paternity, so we were hopeful his employer would have some sort of policy. I'm hoping I can talk him into taking more time (3-4 weeks) since the baby is due 12/25, so it is the holidays and he could use 2 separate years of vaca / sick time to cover.

failuretofly · June 2017

Canada is weird... spouses can take parental leave... but it can't be at the same time as their partner... which is stupid. And it takes away from the amount of time I can take, because we'd have to split it. Luckily baby's due date falls during hubs usual slow time at work, so he'll probably just take a voluntary lay off and collect employment insurance, which is the same amount he'd get paid on parental leave anyway.

acgonzalez22 · June 2017

DH gets 4 weeks paid and 2 weeks that he will use PTO so 6 weeks total. He took it with DS too and it was such a great help to both of us. I think Paternity leave is so important and should be available to everyone.

ChelK3 · June 2017

SO will only get what he has saved up for PTO which might be a week, maybe? It'll probably be gone before the baby even gets here, and I also only get my saved up paid time off and my company has a cut off of 2 weeks. It stops accumulating after you hit two weeks. So yeah, we're fucked.

mcfeldbb · June 2017

My husband just got paid parental leave. We're both planning on taking the full 12 weeks of FMLA. Mine is full pay part of the time and so is my husbands, and he'll use sick time for the rest of his pay. We think it's worth it for the bonding time and being able to keep the baby out of daycare for the first six months.

jlemons-2 · June 2017

What?!?! I didn't know paternity leave was so common. With DD, DH went back to work the day after I got home from the hospital. Then he went out of town for work when she was two weeks.

YodaIsGreen · June 2017

DH gets 6 weeks paid leave that he can take within a year. He will probably take it after my maternity leave so we can keep the baby out to daycare for the first 6 months.

ameliabedelia-2 · June 2017

DH gets 16 weeks paid and it can be used anytime in the first year. We are really lucky, it's way better than what I get!! He will take off a month, and then take off three months after I go back to work so we won't have to have the baby in daycare until he's 6 months

KathrynJ088 · June 2017

DH and I work at the same place, but he just started there in April, so he isn't eligible for FMLA or our company's parental leave. I think he can take the Parental leave (4 weeks) anytime within the first year, so maybe he can take it in April when he hits his 12 months?

I'll take the full 12 FMLA weeks, and then an additional 4 weeks of Parental leave. Thankfully my bio mom is coming for like 2 weeks when the twins are born, and both DH and I's families live within 10 miles.

rainbowdashh · June 2017

He gets 6 weeks through FMLA. He will maybe take 3. I've found I get into a routine easier when he's not around lol

vvitchhazel · June 2017

I'm impressed that so many places offer decent paternity leave options! I assumed more often than not, the options would be pretty lackluster.

cait5413 · June 2017

DH has none. DD was born on a Wednesday, so he took that day and then worked from my hospital room on Thurs and Fri, then we had the weekend, and then he was back at work. I had a c-section, and will this time too, so just to reassure you FTMs, recovery is not that bad. I was solo with DD when she was just a few days old and it was ok. My in-laws came when she was about 2 weeks old b/c I had to go back to work a few days a week (just started a new job, no FMLA). This time, I'll be on winter break when LO is born and DH planned to take some vacation for Christmas, probably, and then his parents will come for new year's and stay a while. I'm still deciding how much time I'll take/I need to talk to my dean (I'm a college professor, so my schedule is a little different than most people's).

dkizz82 · June 2017

Wow! That's awesome. Neither of us gets paid leave.

Tennis11785 · June 2017

My husband doesn't get technical paternity leave, but his sick leave accumulates YOY and he's got a TON of that stored up. He can use up to 8 weeks of sick leave (although I don't know exactly how much he has saved. But my guess is at least 8 weeks, since he's been with this company for like 8 years and has MAYBE taken 1 sick day). Additionally, he's got like 3 months worth of regular vacation time that he can take, although I'm not positive if he's allowed to stack it on top of his sick leave.

The tentative plan - although he's not sure how actually family friendly his boss is going to be - is for him to take like 2 weeks off after the birth and then go back. Then when my maternity leave is up, for him to take 4-8 weeks to delay daycare a bit.

ngarciabyu · June 2017

My hubs gets zero paternity leave. But he does have a contract basically where he is salaried and he can take as many sick and vacation days as "reasobably needed." Plus they let him work from him when and how ever often as he likes. With that said, his job is fast paced and demanding so I doubt he will take much time off, especially since Christmas will be right around the corner and I will probably want the help during winter break when my two boys will be home from school and baby will still be so new and fresh.

collectiveliving · June 2017

@vvitchhazel- We both work for small non profits, which legally don't have to give any time including FMLA.

Mine is a bit better with benefits- I get 2 weeks paid maternity leave (which is for any new parent biological or not), and can use all my PTO which I am saving up.
Not sure if I get disability at all, but I can take FMLA unpaid leave.

My wife gets nothing. Even if she were the one giving birth, they have zero parental leave for anyone.

So she's saving up time too, and needs to check to see what kind of unpaid leave she might be able to take too.

Oh, America.

vvitchhazel · June 2017

Wow @collectiveliving! I'm sorry to hear that. I can't believe she would get no leave, even if she was giving birth! 2 weeks for you seems pretty insane too!

collectiveliving · June 2017

Yeah, thanks @vvitchhazel. We'll make it work, and obviously saving as much as we can so we can take some unpaid time as well.

It is nuts, yet working in this field it's definitely how it is at many non profits.

Her job's benefits are really lacking, but it's also a wonderful organization.
Non profits really should practice what they preach, and you know, offer good benefits and workers' rights.

blueskies17 · June 2017

@collectiveliving oh America indeed. I'm sorry that you and your wife have to deal with that. I wish we lived in Sweden!

My husband gets 2 weeks of paternity leave. If the baby comes as scheduled around 12/9, he will add on 1-2 vacation weeks to stay home through the end of the year (things are very slow in the office around the holidays). He can't completely disconnect from work during vacations anymore, so he will probably do emails and take some calls during his leave.

TigerCakes · June 2017

My DH is going to be in the fire academy until 3 days before my due date. If this baby comes early he will only be able to take the day of the birth and that's it. I'm not sure what I will do since I will be having another csection and I will have a 2 year old. Luckily our family lives close so hopefully they will be able to help a ton. If I make it to my due date my DH will be home for about 3 weeks before starting a new job at the new year.

flowerpower5838 · June 2017

DH is a restaurant manager and they are super busy around the holidays so we're not really sure at this point what he'll get to take off. He'll have a few weeks of vacation built up, but definitely no paid paternal leave or anything. I'm not too worried about it either way, my mom and his mom will alternate coming down to help for a week or two. Although of course for his sake I'd love for him to get plenty of time off right away, it's not going to be a big deal if he needs to hold off on taking his time off until I go back to work to delay daycare a bit.

edited to fix spelling

Piccola1988 · June 2017

I think my husband gets a week of paternity leave, but he is in sales, so with the last quarter of the year ending two weeks after the little guy is slated to arrive he says he can't take it. That being said, his job is really flexible and as long as he hits his quotas he can pretty much work whenever and wherever he wants, so he'll be around plenty. He is very energetic so I suspect early on I'll appreciate him stepping away to take the occasional phone call!

lauren8717 · June 2017

My husband is a partner in his firm so there really are no set in stone rules to how much time he gets. It really depends on what is going on. I'm due 12/27, which is during the normal 2 week holiday break when the firm closes so at least he should be around toward the end!

holzie-2 · June 2017

My wife gets 16 weeks at 100% pay for paternity leave which is the same as what they cover for maternity leave. She can take it anytime during the first year, and either take it all at once or split it up. I am beginning to see just how lucky she is that her company offers this amazing benefit! I'm so sorry more companies don't do the same. I will get 12 weeks at 60% pay, but it's paid through short term disability, so not everyone has it.

mrsjem77 · June 2017

Sony gives the primary care giver 12 paid weeks and secondary care givers 6 paid weeks. The time has to be used during a 12 month period.

tinkerbellwest · June 2017

My husband is self employed, and works from home, so no paternity leave. . but he will be home with me. I can and plan on taking my full 12 weeks of FMLA, which will be my normal pay. It uses my accumulated sick time, and thankfully I have been with my company 10 years and haven't any major illnesses. I have 14 weeks accumulated as of right now, so when I go back I won't be completely drained.

Amber_Waves · June 2017

DH works for a small company with no policy for paternity leave. This is in spite of the fact that the company is in a competitive, top-paying industry and the company culture always emphasizes the importance of family. What might save us is that DH gets 6 weeks of paid vacation a year (this is something he negotiates for, 2-3 is standard at his workplace). Hopefully, he'll be able to take the last few weeks of December and some time at the beginning of January. My mom is retired and will come out for whatever time frame we need. I'm self-employed, so no PTO for me. We'll see!

collectiveliving · June 2017

For real, @blueskies17.

Marley629 · June 2017

@tigercakes do you have any control over scheduling date of c-section? Mine is a fireman too so I'm hoping to schedule my RCS for a two days after a shift day so he will work one shift while I'm in hospital and then be home for at least 3 days right when I get out because it's hard for him to get approved days in December since he's only been on for a year and a half. that's my plan anyway but we all know how doctors and hospitals, oh and babies are about plans lol.

TigerCakes · June 2017

@marley629 yes I can schedule the date of the RCS. I'm hoping to schedule it for the day after my DH graduates from the academy. Then he will be home with us for 3 weeks. My DS was born 10 days early due to a massive fetal maternal hemorrhage so I'm worried something like that will happen again. If the baby comes when he's still in he academy he will only get the day of the birth and then will only be home on weekends. Your plan sounds like a good one, FX it works out for you!

KLake42 · June 2017

@vvitchhazel As it happened, my wife was between jobs when we got our BFP. So she's just going to take some short term contract positions until the babies arrive, and then she'll be stay-at-home for the first few years.

Daycare is expensive enough around here. For two babies, we'd be using almost her entire salary for daycare, and it doesn't make sense.

Plus, she's a computer programmer, a web developer. Her jobs usually end up being 60 hours a week, good money but insane high stress. If she's stay at home, then in the evenings and weekends (when I'm there to watch the babies), she'll be able to maybe do some contract work, maybe contribute to blogs and do some mentoring (for a local Girls Who Code chapter), stay on top of her skill set, but be out of the rat race for a while.

But if she were working, she'd only be eligible for whatever paternity leave options are offered, since she's not pregnant.

flowerpower5838 · June 2017

Amber_Waves I hear you on the company expectation thing. I work for a woman-owned, family-friendly company and they do only what's required of them by law (FMLA thank god they are just barely large enough where that applies). It's awesome that he was able to negotiate more vacation time though! I'll have to remember that the next time I want a raise...

peachy13 · June 2017

DH is a small biz owner and of course late Nov/all of Dec is his busiest season lol. We're trying not to be too stressed. But the good news is that he slows down significantly in the winter months (he works outside; we live in MA) so when it's time for me to go back to work in Feb, he'll have two months of "paternity leave."

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