If you blame being "just so busy" on why you cant bother to be a friend, you're an asshole and you're full of it. I can't stand when people try to blame being an adult on sucking at being a friend. Yes, we're all busy, but it doesn't mean you can't take 5 seconds out of your day to text someone. Nor does it mean you can't manage to find 2 freaking hours (if that) to go have lunch or dinner one day a month. The truth is, you're just lazy and an asshole and don't care enough to make an attempt.
@sjohns908 PREACH. I went through that with a former really good friend 6 months ago. She kept breaking our plans and taking forever to text me back (like days). I'm a pretty direct person, so I finally asked her about it. We've had some drama in the past, but decided we still wanted to be friends, so I was wondering if maybe she was having second thoughts about that. I actually said something like, "I miss you, and I feel like we're in a one-sided relationship. If you want to scale back our friendship, please just let me know. I won't be offended, I just am heartsick of the current situation."
Her response was that of course she still wants to be friends, it's nothing like that, she was just super caught up in her relationship with her new bf and work. And she would try to be better about it. Spoiler alert: nothing changed. So I just stopped texting her or trying to make plans. Like hi, at the time I was going through an IUI, working full time, going to class 2x a week and working an internship 15 hours a week. I'M BUSY TOO. And I still manage to get back to people and keep my commitments. Weird.
Needing to see / meet your baby before you decide on a name is silly. They all come out looking like swollen old men, so with this logic all babies should be named Walter.
i semi disagree @sjohn908 i think it depends on the circumstances. each friendship is different and what you feel you need out of it. i have 3 different bffs and 2 sisters who are my best friends. plus a handful of other close girl friends. but they are all from different groups. so it is hard to do one giant g2g. so if i were to give 1 night a month i am looking at at least 1 night per weekend and being a working mom i only have 2 full days with my family plus i have to cram all adult responsibilities in there. i feel like my friendships can sustain the casual g2g every couple of months bc when we do g2g it is like no time has passed, to me that means a real friendship.
BUT i think there are friendships that are one sided. i have those too. where i feel like i do so much to hang onto the relationship and if i didnt i am not sure we would even see each other ever. that is a sucky feeling.
Needing to see / meet your baby before you decide on a name is silly. They all come out looking like swollen old men, so with this logic all babies should be named Walter.
Yup. My parents claim they did this with me - went to the hospital with 2 names and when they saw me, "they just knew" because I looked like a (fill in the blank). I call BS. I think this works because deep down, you have a preference, and when baby is born you have a sense of clarity when you're forced to pick one.
October 2017 June Siggy Challenge -- "You Had One Job!"
I'm sure I'm going to get flamed for this, buuuuuuut.
As a teacher, it makes me angry when parents complain about school being out because their kids have to be home with them. News flash: THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN. Take responsibility for your children. Teachers need a break too. It's the only way we get to recharge and get excited about seeing your kids again next year.
@soprano19 i can easily see myself complaining about that bc that means that i have another expense to work out bc i dont have summers off. so i have to find an alternative. also i think it is jealousy bc i need a break from work too. but i get 2 weeks and a holiday day, not week.
Lol @soprano19 I definitely think teachers deserve the break! I'm a FTM obviously, but I would venture the opinion that parents saying that aren't coming from a place of not wanting to be home with their kids, but from the added stress of figuring out childcare/etc since most of them probably don't get summer breaks too Although, I think summer breaks for everyone should be mandatory!
@soprano19 I am a teacher too and totally agree. I work in a big city and also get kids who stay home for two or three days a week sometimes because apparently it is too hard to get them to school (all our kids live within one mile of the school or ride a bus that stops on their street) I think it's funny how getting your kid to school is too hard but looking after them all day at home is apparently easier?
@carries2018@bluejeanbabi05 the working mom/childcare argument is totally valid, since that's definitely an added level of stress for the summer. I guess I should clarify that what really bugs me is when stay-at-home parents complain about this.
i love talking with old people and i think they have so much to bring to the table. but sometimes man. old people grind my gears. they talk and walk so slow. can you move to the side? i am in a rush.
it annoys me that some professions get all this glory. Trust me teachers, police officers, fire fighters, nurses...i appreciate all they do. but every job makes the world go round, every profession has an importance that directly affects you. garbage men...need them, grocery store clerk...need them, arbys worker....def need them. i think everyone should be celebrated for their work, or maybe i am saying we dont need to be celebrated...just do your work haha. we picked lines of work that is best suited for our personalities, qualities, and strengths. I dont think that makes Dr. Smith's role more important than Project manager Jackson...they are just different but still accomplishing something for people.
@bluejeanbabi05 +1 For everyone having summers off While driving to work to day I was just thinking back to the days as a kid when I had summers off. If only.
As a working mom, I definitely have had trouble with the somewhat randomness of the school schedule. I have to have back-up plans for fog delays and snow cancellations; long holidays and seasonal breaks; and teacher in-services. All of them are different animals for planning purposes. This year our school had monthly, pre-planned but only announced a few weeks in advance, two hour delays for teacher education. Those two hour delays for teacher work days were the worst. I couldn't ship my kids off to their back-up care because someone still needed to get the kids on the bus or dropped off at school. My fog delay plan only worked because a neighbor who happens to be in a different school district because we both live right on the district line would almost always be delayed on those days as well and would put her kids and my kids on the bus within 10 minutes of each other; on the pre-planned days, I was asking her to stay home all morning with my kids and not her kids and to separately put my kids on the bus, which she did when she could. I will admit that my kids did not make it to school on at least one of those days because I had to be in court in the morning and my back-up care is a daycare that is out of town and unable to get them on the bus. I must not have been alone in hating the two hour delay in-services though because I just got a letter stating that they were just going to take two full days per year instead of having monthly two-hour delays next school year.
*Siggy warning - loss mentioned* Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17 High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
+1 on parents complaining when school is over. I love having my kids home!! I love being able to do things with them and experience life.
This goes with @carries2018 's BF ..... If your kid throws a tantrum in public clearly for a spoiled awful parenting reason and you do nothing but talk super sweet with them like "oh honey I know. What do you want me to buy you? Let's go look at the toys" ... I will side eye you so hard you can feel it from across the store.
@canonmom413 that falls into the category of "over parenting" to me. like nothing can just be ignored or powered through. everything has to be over compensated for. Like the mom putting her 3yo kid in time out for not saying excuse me for burping? what? pick your battles man. they are 3. i'm more concerned with hitting/talking back/lying/being a brat.
Right. I handled power struggles by legit ignoring my kids or getting on their level and talking lowly in their face to knock it the eff off hahah. Honestly neither of my girls threw a huge tantrum like that. I mean they've had their moments but usually not in public. They're more afraid of me talking lowly and sternly than yelling. @carries2018
my kids have had public temper tantrums, and blatant not listening...the moments when you hang your head in shame. and i get annoyed at the side eyes i get for ignoring. but bitches mind yo business. this is the only way i am going to get through this moment and once everyone is calm i talk/discipline. but right now i am charging through this store with 2 screaming kids bc i am not about to put these groceries back and leave the store. this is the only hour i have to do this.
UO: I don't think fancy, show room type nurseries for baby's are necessary. Why spend $1000+ on a crib? $400 on a bassinet? I don't get it. I love all the cute nurseries with simple decor and color coordinating stuff, don't get me wrong, andit's a fun way to prep for baby and have a welcoming space for you to enjoy in the middle of the night! I just don't think there's a good reason to go over the top for a baby who doesn't know the difference. I blame Pinterest!
@sdarling2010 wait people spend $1000 on cribs??? My dad is getting us a pottery barn one and it's like $400, and I thought that was a major extravagance.
it annoys me that some professions get all this glory. Trust me teachers, police officers, fire fighters, nurses...i appreciate all they do. but every job makes the world go round, every profession has an importance that directly affects you. garbage men...need them, grocery store clerk...need them, arbys worker....def need them. i think everyone should be celebrated for their work, or maybe i am saying we dont need to be celebrated...just do your work haha. we picked lines of work that is best suited for our personalities, qualities, and strengths. I dont think that makes Dr. Smith's role more important than Project manager Jackson...they are just different but still accomplishing something for people.
Semi-related issue. I keep seeing on my Facebook page the following logic: EMTs make $15 per hour, therefore fastfood workers should not complain about making $8. There is plenty of fair criticism against having or raising the minimum wage, but this "logic" is not it. Guess what? Your near poverty does not justify others being in poverty. Yes, an EMT making $15 is probably seriously underpaid based on the skill/training/shift-hours/risk of the job. That doesn't change the fact that a fastfood worker cannot pay rent and buy food on her wages and therefore (in the US, at least) is subsidized by government programs such as the earned income child tax credits, WIC, and Medicaid. So by paying fastfood workers below livable wages, employers force taxpayers to support the basic necessities of the workers and they end up functionally close in income to the $15/hour EMT anyway. In an ideal world, those EMTs would make a lot more and we would have a health system or taxbase (depending on how the EMT's salary is funded) that supported it. In an ideal world, all employers could (and willingly would) pay all employees livable wages, and if appropriate, could (and would willingly) pay even more for highly skilled, trained, or educated individuals and for those who take on high-risk professions. But we are not talking about ideals; we are simply talking about able-bodied workers being able to provide through their earned income the basic necessities of life to their families without relying on government aid. Also, the same people making the EMT argument are voting for politicians who campaign against unions; yeah, that union that you voted against was one of the only proven ways to singularly raise salaries within a particular profession.
End rant.
*Siggy warning - loss mentioned* Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17 High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
These are great UO's today! I'm pretty nervous for the days of public temper tantrums, but I know that's just part of the deal.
My UO is I really side eye coddling bad/negative behavior. I think this opinion mainly comes from the way my SIL/BIL parent (we are really close so we see each other all the time). Example: went to the grocery store with SIL, 4.5 year old wanted rice crispy treats and tried to open the box to eat them. SIL told him if he was good for the rest of the shopping, she would buy and they could have in the car. Nephew throws a meltdown tantrum, pulls pants down and takes a dump in the aisle, and she immediately opens a rice crispy treat for him and asks him how he is feeling. I feel like the child has already gone as far as he can go, giving him a treat afterwards seems like positive reinforcement to me.
Me: 31 DH:35 TTC #1: March 2011 Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued) dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids 2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy 6 rounds of clomid 5 rounds of iui IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS 4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls FET 1/10/2017 Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017 FET 2/2 BFP 2/7/17 Beta#1: 594!!! Beta#2 1630!!! Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
these are also the same people that say "i would do anything to support my family even if it meant working and burger king" ok cool. but you cant support them that way based on your previous argument.
I feel like I only bring extreme stories to these threads and they always have to do with in-laws.
Me: 31 DH:35 TTC #1: March 2011 Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued) dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids 2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy 6 rounds of clomid 5 rounds of iui IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS 4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls FET 1/10/2017 Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017 FET 2/2 BFP 2/7/17 Beta#1: 594!!! Beta#2 1630!!! Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
+1 to one-sided relationships being blamed on adulting. We are all adults at this point. If you can't make any effort to maintain our relationship (even on an occasional basis) then our relationship doesn't matter that much to you.
Needing to see / meet your baby before you decide on a name is silly. They all come out looking like swollen old men, so with this logic all babies should be named Walter.
This was absolutely hilarious. I totally agree. DH and I always say how all newborns look like potatoes.
+1 on those crazy pointed nails
+1 on EWWWWWWWW to pickles
Also, I agree with @bluejeanbabi05 that everyone should get summer breaks. I know the world would shut down if that happened, but it would be so nice for everyone to get an extended break to refresh.
@carries2018 The friends I'm referring to are the ones that tag you on fb saying "omg, why don't we ever get together anymore" and then can't bother to take 2 seconds to text you back about something. You don't care anymore, so stop acting like it. I had to finally move on from a HS bff because she couldn't bother coming to any of my kids' parties, text me back when I offered her baby clothes after she complained about having nothing, yet tags me in shit on fb that says "my friends and I have this awesome routine where we complain about not seeing each other but then never make plans". Screw you. I try, you drop the ball every single time.
As a WAHM, summer vacation and school breaks stress me the Hell out. My kids are home and fighting and getting into shit all day while I'm trying to get my work done. And summer is my busiest season. Yet I can't afford childcare for 3 kids, so that's why I complain about school breaks
Totally agree that all professions either deserve recognition or we all put on our big kid undies and realize it's our JOB and move on. Yes, there are some professions that are harrowing, but that doesn't mean the guy down at the water treatment plant scooping shit every day doesn't do anything less than a nurse or teacher
Can't stand coddling your kid when they're behaving badly. Your setting your kid up for failure and doing them no good. Congrats in raising a hellion that you'll be getting calls from the principal about on a regular basis
@dogperson11 I am in the "need to meet the baby before naming it" camp. I don't think what she looks like (unless maybe if there's something physically wrong with her) will affect what name we choose, but I do think the hours of painful labor and strong feelings of love that follow will make it easier to sway DH to agreeing to my top choice. Also I think there is something special about naming them once you've officially met.
@dogperson11 that is hilarious I always think of Breaking Bad when I hear name Walter, and It still fits the baby description.
Me: 31 DH:35 TTC #1: March 2011 Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued) dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids 2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy 6 rounds of clomid 5 rounds of iui IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS 4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls FET 1/10/2017 Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017 FET 2/2 BFP 2/7/17 Beta#1: 594!!! Beta#2 1630!!! Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
"Your near poverty does not justify [keeping] others in poverty."
Ughhh if I could copy and paste that everywhere.
UO: I think this applies to healthcare, student loans, and parental leave, not just minimum wage.
I also strongly believe that trade schools and other job skills training should be included and not looked down upon. Not everyone in our society needs to be college educated and there shouldn't be a stigma associated with it.
Re: UO (6/1)
Her response was that of course she still wants to be friends, it's nothing like that, she was just super caught up in her relationship with her new bf and work. And she would try to be better about it. Spoiler alert: nothing changed. So I just stopped texting her or trying to make plans. Like hi, at the time I was going through an IUI, working full time, going to class 2x a week and working an internship 15 hours a week. I'M BUSY TOO. And I still manage to get back to people and keep my commitments. Weird.
Baby Boy due October 2017
BUT i think there are friendships that are one sided. i have those too. where i feel like i do so much to hang onto the relationship and if i didnt i am not sure we would even see each other ever. that is a sucky feeling.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
As a teacher, it makes me angry when parents complain about school being out because their kids have to be home with them. News flash: THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN. Take responsibility for your children. Teachers need a break too. It's the only way we get to recharge and get excited about seeing your kids again next year.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
This goes with @carries2018 's BF .....
If your kid throws a tantrum in public clearly for a spoiled awful parenting reason and you do nothing but talk super sweet with them like "oh honey I know. What do you want me to buy you? Let's go look at the toys" ... I will side eye you so hard you can feel it from across the store.
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
Eta tag @carries2018
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
End rant.
Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
My UO is I really side eye coddling bad/negative behavior. I think this opinion mainly comes from the way my SIL/BIL parent (we are really close so we see each other all the time). Example: went to the grocery store with SIL, 4.5 year old wanted rice crispy treats and tried to open the box to eat them. SIL told him if he was good for the rest of the shopping, she would buy and they could have in the car. Nephew throws a meltdown tantrum, pulls pants down and takes a dump in the aisle, and she immediately opens a rice crispy treat for him and asks him how he is feeling. I feel like the child has already gone as far as he can go, giving him a treat afterwards seems like positive reinforcement to me.
TTC #1: March 2011
Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids
2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy
6 rounds of clomid
5 rounds of iui
IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide
ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS
4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls
FET 1/10/2017
Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017
FET 2/2
BFP 2/7/17
Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
these are also the same people that say "i would do anything to support my family even if it meant working and burger king" ok cool. but you cant support them that way based on your previous argument.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
TTC #1: March 2011
Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids
2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy
6 rounds of clomid
5 rounds of iui
IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide
ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS
4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls
FET 1/10/2017
Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017
FET 2/2
BFP 2/7/17
Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
+1 to one-sided relationships being blamed on adulting. We are all adults at this point. If you can't make any effort to maintain our relationship (even on an occasional basis) then our relationship doesn't matter that much to you.
This was absolutely hilarious. I totally agree. DH and I always say how all newborns look like potatoes.
+1 on those crazy pointed nails
+1 on EWWWWWWWW to pickles
Also, I agree with @bluejeanbabi05 that everyone should get summer breaks. I know the world would shut down if that happened, but it would be so nice for everyone to get an extended break to refresh.
@carries2018 The friends I'm referring to are the ones that tag you on fb saying "omg, why don't we ever get together anymore" and then can't bother to take 2 seconds to text you back about something. You don't care anymore, so stop acting like it. I had to finally move on from a HS bff because she couldn't bother coming to any of my kids' parties, text me back when I offered her baby clothes after she complained about having nothing, yet tags me in shit on fb that says "my friends and I have this awesome routine where we complain about not seeing each other but then never make plans". Screw you. I try, you drop the ball every single time.
As a WAHM, summer vacation and school breaks stress me the Hell out. My kids are home and fighting and getting into shit all day while I'm trying to get my work done. And summer is my busiest season. Yet I can't afford childcare for 3 kids, so that's why I complain about school breaks
Totally agree that all professions either deserve recognition or we all put on our big kid undies and realize it's our JOB and move on. Yes, there are some professions that are harrowing, but that doesn't mean the guy down at the water treatment plant scooping shit every day doesn't do anything less than a nurse or teacher
Can't stand coddling your kid when they're behaving badly. Your setting your kid up for failure and doing them no good. Congrats in raising a hellion that you'll be getting calls from the principal about on a regular basis
TTC #1: March 2011
Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids
2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy
6 rounds of clomid
5 rounds of iui
IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide
ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS
4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls
FET 1/10/2017
Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017
FET 2/2
BFP 2/7/17
Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
"Your near poverty does not justify [keeping] others in poverty."
Ughhh if I could copy and paste that everywhere.
UO: I think this applies to healthcare, student loans, and parental leave, not just minimum wage.
I also strongly believe that trade schools and other job skills training should be included and not looked down upon. Not everyone in our society needs to be college educated and there shouldn't be a stigma associated with it.