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November 2017 Moms
liz4382
member
FTM questions for STM+ week of 5/30
liz4382
member
Re: FTM questions for STM+ week of 5/30
@liz4382 they let me have ice during labor but tried to limit fluid intake. I can't stand the IV either which is the main reason I will labor at home as long as possible! That restriction is very frustrating for me. They always try to do the IV as soon as you're admitted to the hospital. (At least at the two hospitals that we used)
ETA @DuchessOfCambridge I'm always taken aback when baby first comes home, at how much they sleep! We would just stare at him and feel a little guilty for not playing with him or trying to keep him entertained. Turns out, newborns are kinda boring and don't require any entertainment beside the occasional eye contact with mom or dad.
@whatwillanndo That's so funny that you say that because that's exactly how I felt before my first. I had thoughts like "what am I even going to do all day?" and "are newborns similar to pet goldfish?" Definitely read up and take any classes you feel like you need, but nothing can fully prepare you besides the experience itself. It's totally normal to feel like you have no idea what you're doing.
ETA: I was very surprised by how busy I stayed after bringing baby home. But due to several complications my experience wasn't the norm, apparently.
@whatwillanndo @DuchessOfCambridge Your baby will most likely sleep most of the time for a while. The baby will require food every few hours and lots of diaper changes and that will be about it....you should be able to get plenty of rest to recover while he/she sleeps. Enjoy that phase while it lasts.
I was a ball of stress and hormones. I don't have fond memories of coming home.
I'll just say, and please don't flame me - I haven't said this once here because I don't want to offend. I've had really great experiences with breastfeeding. I know that BF can sound really scary as a FTM because a lot of women share their struggles to help temper your expectations - which I think is great, too! But I've really had only a few bumps in the road, and it has been SO manageable and convenient for me, so try to not to be discouraged! There are women out there who have had "easy" experiences, but I think we stay quiet a lot of the time as not to offend those who have had more challenging ones. Most likely, your BF experience will have at least a few challenges, just like every other aspect of life, but they might be very manageable!!
@whatwillanndo your fears are completely normal. With my first, I was terrified! Terrified of everything! Was I feeding him right? Burping him right? Changing his diaper right? Bathing him right? My fears got the best of me in the beginning when my milk hadn't come in yet and he was crying, a lot! I switched to formula feeding really quickly. But aside from that, I felt the rest came really naturally. The internet wasn't as easily available then (no quick googling a question on your phone), so I really enjoyed having the "What to Expect in the First Year" book for reference.
With my second, he came home after a couple weeks in the NICU, so the basics were already well established and I had lactation consultants readily available at the hospital to help me with my fears after my first. But his care was different as a preterm baby with respiratory problems.
With my third, I came home from the hospital as a pro! lol I had no reservations about diaper changes, umbilical cord stumps, circumcision care, etc. I was out and about with him very early and breastfeeding him was a wonderful experience. I did worry about his weight gain issues, because of his reflux-new challenge with him.
With this baby, I'm terrified because I legitimately don't know how to change a little girl's diaper-not joking!! I have 3 boys, my step daughter was potty trained when I met her, I had two brother, 4 boy cousins, and I was the last girl born into my family! I'm terrified of all those nooks and crannies! My point is, there will ALWAYS be things to worry about with new babies!
Take a class on infant care, including CPR and first aid. Get a well respected book with good information. Stay off the Internet, unless you're looking at the AAP website. And go with the flow, I can tell you'll be a great mom, because you're taking the time to think about these things already!!
And the reason they place an IV right away is usually policy. They may not need to use the IV but it's much easier to put one in while it's calm rather than in an emergent situation. I get an IV for antibiotics since I am always positive for group B.
This exactly for me too. You'll figure out what to do. It just kind of happens super fast when the baby is awake and you get the hang of it. Don't hesitate to take a class to ease your nerves. I also had bad anxiety with my baby blues. It was a strange combination, but talking and singing to DS while he was awake helped.
I also had a positive BF experience but I had really good LCs at the hospital that helped me find the best hold to feed DS. I also ended up having overactive letdown, but had a wonderful group of moms to help me through it. Surround yourself with support and you'll be a great mom!
DS1 is 7. DD is 1. DS2 is coming in late April.
Support is crucial for having a baby. It just is.
DS1 is 7. DD is 1. DS2 is coming in late April.
Again, this is not directed at anyone here. It's actually mostly my IRL friend who does this a lot and it drives me bonkers. I know she's gone through this twice before but her experiences won't necessarily be mine. My other friend who just had a baby is such a supportive person. Instead of telling me my plans of natural birth may not work out, she tells me I can definitely do it and even if it doesn't happen that way I'm still a superhero because birth is hard no matter what. Just a more positive way of preparing moms-to-be for things not going their way.
That turned into a novel. My point is, encouragement and positivity is nice. So thank you @MississippiCatfish!
It is encouraging to hear positive stories because I do have hopes of things going differently for me this time. I will never tell moms that their plans aren't going to work out, because it's just as likely that they will. And if someone is having a great time enjoying their baby I do not understand people squelching that with warnings of things getting worse. And I certainly don't share details of my experience with people who don't ask.
I'm a realist and I don't believe in sugar coating shit to make someone feel good or optimistic. Sorry.
ETA: That being said, it's wonderful to look forward to having supportive people around when things ARE hard. I just think there needs to be a better balance of "everything is easy and fantastic and if not you're a failure" and "everything will be hard so LOL to all your plans". That's really my point.
Also, I don't like when I go to talk you and the first "kiss" name that pops up is "kissyfishlips"...who is that mysterious stranger with the odd name?!