@DuchessOfCambridge- I guess I would start by challenging you to think about why revealing the gender of your baby needs to be made "exciting" or that it requires a party? (Bear with me, I really am trying not to be judgmental.) What is it that made you interested in or desire a party? What is your motivation for it? Is the purpose of the party truly to share your excitement with your friends and family? (And if so, whatever happened to a good, old phonecall to say (scream) "It's a boy!"?) Or, could you be influenced by cute Pinterest/Instagram picture perfect occasions? I believe the excitement your family and friends feel about the gender will not be made any more (or less) if the reveal is done in a unique way. I would also add, your satisfaction in sharing your excitement will not be heightened by going to great lengths to make the reveal.
There is also what I will call the gimmick aspect - the cake with the pink/blue interior, the confetti cannon, the Rube Goldberg machine maze set up in your house. The retail industry has concocted some other thing, one you cannot get a second use out of in many cases, that it tell us we need to have.
While a gender reveal party is not typically a gift giving occasion if it stands on its own (although many recent ones are combined with a baby shower), I know if I were invited to one such party I would nonetheless feel compelled to arrive with a baby gift. And if the gender reveal party was indeed stand alone and I was later invited to a baby shower, I would feel compelled to purchase yet another gift.
My opinion is informed by my recent personal journey toward a more minimal, "conscious consumer" worldview. I am that person that is flaberghasted (negatively) at children's birthday parties catered with theme decor and rental bouncy houses (what happened to musical chairs in the basement, or a day at the park?). I don't understand the explosion of unbelievably staged "engagement pictures", extravagant pre-wedding bachelorette weekends away, both of which I lump together with gender reveal parties in terms of uselessness.
Long response. Thank you for asking. I'll just close by saying if I am invited to attend a gender reveal, I will go. I won't comment to the parents-to-be. I'll just never host one for myself or for anyone.
@curiousfool1 - I see things differently. While I'm not huge on gender reveals (or any reveals, if you saw my UO about pregnancy announcements), I think making memories and spending time with friends and family is as far from consumer-driven as possible. If someone has a random party with friends and there's a cake, that's totally cool? But if someone puts pink or blue in the cake it's not? I don't really see the difference. And how is a weekend away with your best friends useless? Some of my high school friends forged great friendships with my college friends because of my bachelorette. How is that in itself not a cause for celebration? My friends loving each other made my heart grow. I get that you don't like the idea of waste and using something once and throwing it away, but your statements are pretty generalized and sweeping and include a lot of certainly un-wasteful things.
I think there needs to be more government regulation of the gas industry. I saw gas for $2.89 and drove two miles to a station charging $2.33 a gallon. Same goes for the health care industry. The variance of prices and lack of transparency is dumbfounding. It's not all real estate and salaries. These companies are making major bucks.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
1) I do not want to make that many phone calls/texts. Sure I could send a group Facebook message, but why not just have an excuse to get together with all of our friends for a fun summer BBQ? Like @kissthesky32 said, it's ok to have a BBQ, but not ok to have one with pink and blue plates and cups and a $10 smoke stick? I don't consider that going to "great lengths". It's going to Costco to get food, a party store to get cups and plates, and ordering one thing online. 2/3 things we'd be doing anyway if we were hosting a BBQ. Not really what I'd call Pinterest-inspired or Instagram worthy. It's not about the picture perfect moment - it's about sharing an exciting life event with friends (yes, I think finding out the gender is an exciting part of having a baby, people opt for elective ultrasounds to find this out), especially since our guy friends won't be invited to the baby shower (DH isn't into a joint one). Plus, who hates being invited to a BBQ? Now my baby shower - I will probably decorate that so it looks pretty. Why would I want an ugly shower social media or not?
2) Those are very elaborate (I've never even seen/heard of a Rube Goldberg machine to announce gender!) and to me your opinion seems to be based off of very over-the-top gender reveal party examples.
3) We specifically wrote on our invitations requesting guests NOT bring gifts. Gender reveals in general are not gift events, but we weren't sure if all of our friends knew that (we're the first in our close group to have a baby) so we spelled it out to relieve any stress they might feel about getting a gift. I think it's tacky to put registry info on a gender reveal invite if you're also having a shower. Would I bring a gift for a close friend even if they said no gifts? Probably, because I would WANT to, not because I would think it was expected of me. There's nothing that says you have to bring a gift so if you do, it's not really fair to then complain about it.
4) Again, those seem like very over the top examples. Granted I have never been to a super elaborate children's party, but...it's a birthday. I think it's totally ok to make your kid feel special for one day with some exciting things like a bounce house. Maybe it's catered because the parents are too busy to cook and it's just easier for them. I probably wouldn't have such a crazy party for a child myself but if it's truly for the happiness of the kid, then whatever! On crazy bachelorette parties - I semi-agree with you there. I think it can be a little ridiculous to ask a bridesmaid to spend $300 on a dress, $100-300 on shower/wedding/engagement party gifts, hair and makeup the day of, random presents, and a weekend away. But, it depends on the weekend. If I have to fly, I'm going to side-eye. Most of my friends have been great about going away somewhere with either free lodging or in driving distance. Mine personally was held in my city and the hotel room was free, but I'm also looking forward to my bff's beach bach this summer (free lodging and we can drive). RE: engagement pictures. Many are now included in the wedding photography packages at no extra charge. DH and I don't have that many nice looking pictures together and I love looking at ours. It was a really happy time for us, we look amazing in them (thanks editing!), and I love the memory.
TL;DR It's fine if gender reveals aren't your thing but don't assume everyone who has one is doing it to get gifts or get one perfect picture. We are not all mindless robots fulfilling the commands of the retail industry, there are actual feelings behind there too. I'd say most often it's done to have some fun with friends and family, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I'm a believer that you can over feed your child. Definitely, BUT what they eat obviously does matter. I never, however, would say a child is overfed simply because they are overweight. Like @DuchessOfCambridge said, genetic factors are a HUGE cause of childhood obesity. My niece who has PWS (the #1 genetic cause of childhood obesity) can only eat 1000 calories A DAY and anything she eats above that turns straight into fat. It's also a lot harder for her to lose the weight. So in the end, you can overfeed your child but it's not as clear as skinny/average/obese and I think judging a parent and their ways simply on how a child appears is cruel.
It's interesting with all this weight talk. I was talking to a woman who was saying that she read a study where they asked a certain amount of parents if their child was over weight at the age of 1, then 5, and 8 , and 12. And the parents who said that they thought their child was overweight or chunky were actually more likely to have their child be obese. So I don't know why that was... but it's interesting.
@MississippiCatfish I believe at 1 year the children were ALL in healthy weight range. By 12 the majority of the ones described at the age of 1 as overweight were overweight. It was like a self fulfilled prophecy on the part of the parents. Or they projected it onto their child somehow? So yes they were overweight , BUT were described as overweight before they became overweight
My UO is that I find Lorelei from Gilmore Girls annoying and super immature... I like all the other characters on the show way better. Even *gasp* Emily.
@Perfectypo Lorelei is super immature. Half the time she pushes her parents into a fight or won't act like an adult because she just doesn't feel like it. Plus all the messing with hearts. Gotta get it together. I'm still obsessed with that show tho.
About gender reveals: I have a friend that goes over the top, full out Pinterest for every single freaking event. Expects gifts for every one of them, it's all a production, and it is admittedly a little obnoxious.
But it I think there is a middle ground between no parties and spending hundreds on decorations 4 times a year. Our gender reveal was a lot like what @DuchessOfCambridge was saying. We did a cookout with our family like we do every time my mom is in town the only difference was the extra 10 or so friends there and the fact that we did something fun to find out the baby was a boy. We made some wonderful memories and had fun.
I recognize it's so easy these days to go over the top, and simple celebrations have gone out of fashion. But I really believe more people do the simple ones but they just aren't as over-shared on social media so are less noticeable. One picture of a kid with a birthday cake vs an album of posed photos and decoration close ups for example.
Re: UO Thursday Week of 5/25
There is also what I will call the gimmick aspect - the cake with the pink/blue interior, the confetti cannon, the Rube Goldberg machine maze set up in your house. The retail industry has concocted some other thing, one you cannot get a second use out of in many cases, that it tell us we need to have.
While a gender reveal party is not typically a gift giving occasion if it stands on its own (although many recent ones are combined with a baby shower), I know if I were invited to one such party I would nonetheless feel compelled to arrive with a baby gift. And if the gender reveal party was indeed stand alone and I was later invited to a baby shower, I would feel compelled to purchase yet another gift.
My opinion is informed by my recent personal journey toward a more minimal, "conscious consumer" worldview. I am that person that is flaberghasted (negatively) at children's birthday parties catered with theme decor and rental bouncy houses (what happened to musical chairs in the basement, or a day at the park?). I don't understand the explosion of unbelievably staged "engagement pictures", extravagant pre-wedding bachelorette weekends away, both of which I lump together with gender reveal parties in terms of uselessness.
Long response. Thank you for asking. I'll just close by saying if I am invited to attend a gender reveal, I will go. I won't comment to the parents-to-be. I'll just never host one for myself or for anyone.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
1) I do not want to make that many phone calls/texts. Sure I could send a group Facebook message, but why not just have an excuse to get together with all of our friends for a fun summer BBQ? Like @kissthesky32 said, it's ok to have a BBQ, but not ok to have one with pink and blue plates and cups and a $10 smoke stick? I don't consider that going to "great lengths". It's going to Costco to get food, a party store to get cups and plates, and ordering one thing online. 2/3 things we'd be doing anyway if we were hosting a BBQ. Not really what I'd call Pinterest-inspired or Instagram worthy. It's not about the picture perfect moment - it's about sharing an exciting life event with friends (yes, I think finding out the gender is an exciting part of having a baby, people opt for elective ultrasounds to find this out), especially since our guy friends won't be invited to the baby shower (DH isn't into a joint one). Plus, who hates being invited to a BBQ? Now my baby shower - I will probably decorate that so it looks pretty. Why would I want an ugly shower social media or not?
2) Those are very elaborate (I've never even seen/heard of a Rube Goldberg machine to announce gender!) and to me your opinion seems to be based off of very over-the-top gender reveal party examples.
3) We specifically wrote on our invitations requesting guests NOT bring gifts. Gender reveals in general are not gift events, but we weren't sure if all of our friends knew that (we're the first in our close group to have a baby) so we spelled it out to relieve any stress they might feel about getting a gift. I think it's tacky to put registry info on a gender reveal invite if you're also having a shower. Would I bring a gift for a close friend even if they said no gifts? Probably, because I would WANT to, not because I would think it was expected of me. There's nothing that says you have to bring a gift so if you do, it's not really fair to then complain about it.
4) Again, those seem like very over the top examples. Granted I have never been to a super elaborate children's party, but...it's a birthday. I think it's totally ok to make your kid feel special for one day with some exciting things like a bounce house. Maybe it's catered because the parents are too busy to cook and it's just easier for them. I probably wouldn't have such a crazy party for a child myself but if it's truly for the happiness of the kid, then whatever! On crazy bachelorette parties - I semi-agree with you there. I think it can be a little ridiculous to ask a bridesmaid to spend $300 on a dress, $100-300 on shower/wedding/engagement party gifts, hair and makeup the day of, random presents, and a weekend away. But, it depends on the weekend. If I have to fly, I'm going to side-eye. Most of my friends have been great about going away somewhere with either free lodging or in driving distance. Mine personally was held in my city and the hotel room was free, but I'm also looking forward to my bff's beach bach this summer (free lodging and we can drive). RE: engagement pictures. Many are now included in the wedding photography packages at no extra charge. DH and I don't have that many nice looking pictures together and I love looking at ours. It was a really happy time for us, we look amazing in them (thanks editing!), and I love the memory.
TL;DR It's fine if gender reveals aren't your thing but don't assume everyone who has one is doing it to get gifts or get one perfect picture. We are not all mindless robots fulfilling the commands of the retail industry, there are actual feelings behind there too. I'd say most often it's done to have some fun with friends and family, and there's nothing wrong with that.
It was like a self fulfilled prophecy on the part of the parents. Or they projected it onto their child somehow?
So yes they were overweight , BUT were described as overweight before they became overweight
But it I think there is a middle ground between no parties and spending hundreds on decorations 4 times a year. Our gender reveal was a lot like what @DuchessOfCambridge was saying. We did a cookout with our family like we do every time my mom is in town the only difference was the extra 10 or so friends there and the fact that we did something fun to find out the baby was a boy. We made some wonderful memories and had fun.
I recognize it's so easy these days to go over the top, and simple celebrations have gone out of fashion. But I really believe more people do the simple ones but they just aren't as over-shared on social media so are less noticeable. One picture of a kid with a birthday cake vs an album of posed photos and decoration close ups for example.