I see all these people who are swinging back and forth between BMB and I don't think that's fair. I think you should have to choose. My due date is in the middle of the month so I don't have a choice and you shouldn't either. CHOOSE. Lol.
I don't remember if we already discussed because mom brain is rough, but I despise when people imply that both Mom and Dad are pregnant. As in, "oh, you guys are pregnant!" Or when husbands or wives say "We're pregnant!" NO! WE are not pregnant! I am pregnant! We are having a baby! But I am the only one carrying a fetus who is systematically sucking the life out of me!
@cmessamore haha we did discuss and I felt the opposite way. But my reasoning was that DH, while not going through the physical biological part, is going through all of the emotional stuff and putting in tons of work. Like all those weeks he made us dinner and cleaned up after so I could go straight to bed, the times he didn't do something because I wasn't feeling well, etc. I guess we have never used the phrase "we're pregnant" but it doesn't bother me.
Not really a UO but I don't want to go to work today and I want to whine about it. I need to get up off my couch now though.
Random side note- I really appreciate the way the community here on this app both sticks by its own guidelines but also allows room for a lot of respectful discourse on differing opinions.
That said, in my opinion gender reveal parties are the biggest scam, waste of money out there right now in the pregnancy industry. Admittedly I am Team Green. However, I would still have this opinion even if my husband and I planned to learn the gender.
@ooodalollly I am right here with you on overfeeding animals. We work hard to keep our dog fit, so we can keep him in our lives as long as possible. Thank goodness his favorite treats are vegetables. Also, LOVE the screenname. Robin Hood is a personal favorite Disney movie.
@ooodalollly that makes sense! If DH wasn't so unbelievably helpful, I definitely would not say "we" are pregnant. Then it would be allll me haha.
@curiousfool1 what about them makes you think they are a scam? We are having one and not spending very much on it - our friends are letting us use their backyard for a BBQ for free and we are just providing food for all of our close friends. It's a way for us to celebrate the baby and announce the gender to the people dear to us in a fun way with a party.
My mom 100% overfeeds her dog. He is enormous and has a ton of joint issues because of it, but she has convinced herself that it's all muscle.
Ill take it a step further and say that is cruel and should be considered child abuse to do the same thing to your children. Yes, kids can be picky and I don't expect every child to eat a perfectly balanced diet (mine definitely don't), but there is no reason for a toddler to eat large bags of chips, dessert every night, and have soda with meals. A girl from my first BMB has a 4 year old who does all of those things and is already showing the effects and is being set up for a life of weight struggles and medical issues. And it's entirely her parents' fault.
@kissthesky32 +1 to overfeeding being child abuse (and animal abuse!).
I also think it should be considered child abuse (and EXTREMELY selfish) if you smoke throughout your pregnancy and after. Smoking at all during pregnancy across the board is known to be dangerous, and we know secondhand smoke is directly linked to health issues. It's not fair. Children deserve to breathe clean air and not be born into this world with problems that could have been prevented.
Agreed about child abuse as well. As adults we make choices about what we put in our bodies. The children and animals in our care are incapable of making those choices for themselves.
@DuchessOfCambridge It breaks my heart to pull up to a stoplight and see smokers in the car next to me with kids in the back seat. Windows rolled down or not.
and @DuchessOfCambridge The smoking while pregnant and with kids in car/present kills me. I was a smoker a million years ago- quit long before I was pregnant with my son. I know how hard it an be to quit, but it is doable if you really want to and get some help!
Hate when people smoke pg or smoke around children. I also hate when people overfeed their animals. I don't give my dogs treats until after they've eaten and even then, it's not that much. It's all about moderation just like it is with children.
My UO is that I don't hate Melania. She seems very intelligent (aside of the whole marrying Trump thing) and conscientious. I've noticed that she thinks about and is aware of the customs and norms of the places she visits and acts accordingly. She just seems very thoughtful. I still don't think she wanted to be First Lady though.
+1 to the smoking thing. There is nothing worse than seeing a 9 month pregnant woman puffing away on a cigarette. My best friend was one of these people. She let another coworker sway her decision to quit. The coworkers rationale: I smoke with both of my kids and they are fine. Now the coworkers kids both have asthma and my best friend's kid has terrible allergies. I feel these are directly related. It is maddening. My DH clearly remembers being made fun of in elementary school for smelling like smoke. His mother passed at a very young age (due to a heart attack from heavy smoking) and he has never touched cigarettes. Thank goodness.
My mom feeds half her own meals to her dogs and they were getting so fat. Now one developed digestive issues (big shocker) so they had to quit and they're both looking healthier than ever. Our dogs never got people food, until DS came along, now they get what falls on the floor when he's done lol. Also +1 on obese kids and smoking around kids making me mad. My kid is a seriously picky eater and we've had to make adjustments to try to get as many healthy calories in him as possible, but I won't let him overeat on the bad stuff just because that's all he wants.
I grew up in a tobacco farming community and there was (and still is) a whole lot of flat out denial about the effects of smoking. My grandparents and dad always smoked with me in the car, I'm lucky I don't have asthma or anything like that now. As I type this my grandmother is in surgery having her entire cancerous right lung removed. It makes me sad, tobacco put food on our table as a kid but it also has cost me many people I love over the years.
I agree with the over feeding of children and the smoking thing. Let me be completely honest I was not smoke free for my entire pregnancy. When I found out I was pregnant I did quit, but it was REALLY hard and I weaned off instead of going cold turkey. I do feel horrible abut it, but I honestly don't think I could have gone cold turkey even for the baby, it took me about a week and a half to fully quit. DH also quit which i really respect since he has kids and never quit for them (granted they used to live with their mom who smokes in the house which we never did) About the over feeding thing I am not going to pretend that with 4 kids I am not completely overwhelmed and we don't do takeout once a week. But 6 days a week my children eat home-made healthy dinners and there are always healthy options (whether or not they choose to refuse them) one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is people giving children pop. I can't imagine what would ever possess an adult to give a small child a bottle of coke. Or putting it in their sippy cup. I ended up stopping being friends with a woman because I disagreed with her parenting style too much and really lost respect for her. The last straw was when she put diet coke (which is way worse for you than regular coke ) in her 15 month Olds sippy cup then SHOOK THE BUBBLES OUT because he didn't like them. Why bother? I don't even love giving my toddler juice unless it's a special occasion.
This isn't UO but needs to be said. If you are anti vax or do not vaccinate your children for a reason that is not legit (ie your child has a low immune system and would literally die if you gave them a vaccinr) then do not associate with me on the board. I want absolutely nothing to do with people like that.
@bcashaw the difference is you DID quit. I've never smoked but I have heard it can be extremely difficult to quit, especially cold turkey. You still put the life of your child before your own wants and there's no judgement in that.
@ugoglencoco I agree. My baby will not be born in November. My EDD is 11/12 but since I will not be going past 37 weeks and will be blessed to make it that far this will at least be an October baby! But, I have chosen this board because I we are all closer to the same gestation as each other. And right now, I am here for me! When the baby is born, I probably will not bump because honestly, it does get awkward to be with a group that is different from your original group! This happened to me with my last who cam very early and I did not fit anywhere as the premie boards are not very active.
My EDD is Nov 4th or 2nd depending who you talk to. If my baby comes in October I'm still a November mom @av2323 that's so sad. The last thing children need is caffeine
More of a confession, but I could tell you how my kids take their coffee. You might be surprised at what lengths toddlers/preschoolers will go to get something they like in their little hands. Like, pulling the barstool over to the fridge, opening it and pulling things off the top shelf. They seriously love my cold brew with a splash of cold milk and 2 pumps vanilla. They're getting really sneaky at taking drinks of it when we're at the park/play place and I have it in the stroller cup holder. The other option is not to have it, and I refuse. If it's in my hand, they're constantly screaming for a drink/screaming because I say no. Can't win with these buggers.
**I say might because I hate it when STM say, "you just wait, blah blah blah." Maybe you're fully aware of what it's like and will just be better than I am.
@MississippiCatfish Eh, there is a difference in my mind between your kids stealing drinks from your cup and setting them down with a sippy full of coffee. I truly try not to judge others for how they parent but it's hard to swallow a 17 month old with a sippy full of coffee each morning instead of milk, juice, water.
@MississippiCatfish omg sameee. I have too too too much volume and salons always try to work it more. Just no. Also, I'm way better at hair straightening than any hair stylist I have ever been to.
I think it's weird when people on TB get offended or think it's weird that people won't share their baby names. Like yes, it doesn't reallyyyy matter because these are internet people you may never meet, but I'd rather introduce my baby with name to my family and friends before the internet. Let people do people, not everything needs to be shared online and it's not weird to keep things private.
Ok this is more about an opinion given to me but I swear if one more person makes a comment on my choice of foot wear I may slap them. I wear cowboy boots every day all day unless I know I am going to be running and playing with kids then I swap to tennies. "Why do you wear those? Aren't your feet too swollen?" "You're going to want more comfortable shoes soon enough!" Be quite they are comfortable to me! I have been wearing them for 7 years obviously they work fine for me.... Ugh!
@KLink15 Toward the end of my first pregnancy my boots were the only shoes I could wear! Plus I didn't need help to put them on I don't understand when people find them uncomfortable.
@DuchessOfCambridge Same. I've been in this town for 6 years and still haven't found someone I LOVE. My hair isn't course, but I have a lot of it. There hasn't been a single cut that I haven't had to ask them to thin it out more in the back after they're done! Makes me miss home and my stylist there:(
eta - I made an appointment with someone new this weekend at a salon I've gone to in the past that's been fine, and they have some of her before and afters on FB. Fingers crossed. Im doing a weekend "away" but in town with DH and that's the first event, so I'm hoping it's decent and I won't have to wash my hair the rest of the weekend
@MississippiCatfish you're in MN right? If Plymouth MN isn't too far out for you try Brandy H at Pura Salon. I have super thick hair and she does a kick butt job! She is pregnant too and will be out for a little while this year though.
@BayCamp My mom does the same thing! Her dog is so fat! We are constantly changing how much to feed our dogs based on the amount of activity they're getting. I've done a fair amount of research on exactly what my dogs should look like (can't go by weight because they're lab/pit mixes and the range hwy should be is something like 30-100 lbs) so when they look heavier we cut it down and if they look thin we give them more. They're super active too.
As as far as children I find it hard to believe that you can over feed them. It's all about what you give them that really matters. My kids eat and eat and eat but they're tiny. I've been blessed with two kids that will eat anything I give them. But everything is fine in moderation. If they're eating as much healthy food as they want/need will they really be unhealthy?
@KLink15 My cowboy boots are probably the most comfortable shoes I own. Too hot though!
@MississippiCatfish Eh, there is a difference in my mind between your kids stealing drinks from your cup and setting them down with a sippy full of coffee. I truly try not to judge others for how they parent but it's hard to swallow a 17 month old with a sippy full of coffee each morning instead of milk, juice, water.
My original EDD was Halloween but I knew after how late DS was that I'd most likely have him in November, now it's 10/29 but still most likely a November birth. Andplusalso I like y'all. I lurked in October and felt like this was a better fit.
On the overfeeding of cats...my cat used to be pretty heavy (18 pounds) even though we measured out his food. He's just naturally a big cat, I think. The vet said one of hers is the same.
He has had some health problems (kidney disease) in recent years, and there are times when he just refuses to eat. Cats will literally starve themselves, which can cause liver problems in just a few days, so when he goes through these phases we have to force feed him wet food in order to get him to eat. When he is eating, we are so thankful that he's hungry that we just give him as much food as he wants. Yet he is still skinnier than he was when we measured the food.
I love my hairstylist. She is the only one I have ever found who straightens my hair better than I can. She can even get it looking good with just a hair dryer, which is impossible for me (I have crazy hair).
@liz4382 Chunky cat owner here too...she's on low calorie food and gets no treats, nothing all besides her own properly measured out food. She just turned 12 (yesterday!) and has been fine health-wise so far. Fingers crossed it stays that way! Hope your guy stays comfortable and as healthy as possible through his kidney disease. My first cat had that late in life so I know what it's like.
@BayCamp My mom does the same thing! Her dog is so fat! We are constantly changing how much to feed our dogs based on the amount of activity they're getting. I've done a fair amount of research on exactly what my dogs should look like (can't go by weight because they're lab/pit mixes and the range hwy should be is something like 30-100 lbs) so when they look heavier we cut it down and if they look thin we give them more. They're super active too.
As as far as children I find it hard to believe that you can over feed them. It's all about what you give them that really matters. My kids eat and eat and eat but they're tiny. I've been blessed with two kids that will eat anything I give them. But everything is fine in moderation. If they're eating as much healthy food as they want/need will they really be unhealthy?
@KLink15 My cowboy boots are probably the most comfortable shoes I own. Too hot though!
I think it depends a lot on the kid. Some kids are genetically predisposed to obesity and others are just getting that way because their parents let them eat whatever. I don't know about other people, but when I'm talking about kids overeating, I'm picturing the 100 pound 2-3 year olds on The Maury Show who can down a bucket of fried chicken in like five minutes. What you are doing doesn't sound like overfeeding. My brother grew up eating tons and was SO thin because he has a fast metabolism and is very active.
My UO is that I think it's cruel (not cute) when people over feed their pets to the point of obesity.
I'm totally with you on this, I hate seeing pets struggling to even walk cause their owners over feed them. My pets and my moms are not on set diets they have food bowls left out throughout the day that get filled when empty. That said my dog isn't a picky eater but sometimes it seems he doesn't eat, I've had people ask if I was even feeding him because even though I know he eats and I give him snacks and dog safe people food some days you can see his ribs others he has the perfect body mass.
My uo is I hate parents that don't "parent" Example: went to McDonald's at about ten at night as a treat with my husband and brother, there was this family of four there (mom,dad, two kids) the kids were about 3. The lil girl would not stop screaming, not crying but screaming because she wanted something, then she climbed on top of a table near by and was jumping and trying to mess with the light that was now in her reach. Then her and her brother went over to the computer games they could barely reach the screen and almost busted open their heads trying to stand on the stolls that move around so easily. The parents did nothing to even stop their kids from getting hurt. When they left the parents were to busy talking to each other to hold on to their lil ones and the girl ran out in front of a car! Luckily the car was going slow and stopped before it hit her. But it's parents like that that I hate, they don't seem to care what happens to their kids and it makes me so mad I want to stop the kid from getting hurt and yell at the parents at the same time!
^^Agreed. I'm not talking about over eating. I'm talking about the choice of foods. My kids can have all they want of something healthy (or even healthy-ish). We go out to eat a decent amount and my kids get their fair share of pizza/grilled cheese/fries. But occasions and treats are different than every meal and snack being based on simple carbs, fats, and sugars. Of course a kid would prefer to eat a plate full of chips than some protein, fruit, and veggies - my issue is with parents who even make that an option.
DH is a doctor and saw a 5 year old whose parents thought he hurt his knee. The kid weighed over 100lbs. When DH walked in, he had a 2L of sprite and a bag of lays potato chips to keep him quiet. Guess why his knee hurt? It was having trouble supporting his weight. That's abuse.
This one might get me in trouble. I don't think nakedness is feminist. I don't find it empowering. If you want to walk around in barely anything, that is your choice. If it makes you feel good, great! However, it is not a feminist movement to be unclothed and it does not earn you respect from anyone. If anything, you're being ogled more by men and probably giving them what they want to see and tarnishing what feminism truly stands for for the rest of us. In my opinion, this kind of thing being lumped in with feminism is one of the reasons men don't take it seriously.
*Disclaimer: it is absolutely NOT ok for a man to ever say or do anything to a woman because of how she is dressed. Men have brains, self control, and know exactly what they are doing. They must be held accountable for their actions.*
cmessamore
member
Re: UO Thursday Week of 5/25
I don't remember if we already discussed because mom brain is rough, but I despise when people imply that both Mom and Dad are pregnant. As in, "oh, you guys are pregnant!" Or when husbands or wives say "We're pregnant!" NO! WE are not pregnant! I am pregnant! We are having a baby! But I am the only one carrying a fetus who is systematically sucking the life out of me!
Not really a UO but I don't want to go to work today and I want to whine about it. I need to get up off my couch now though.
My UO is that I think it's cruel (not cute) when people over feed their pets to the point of obesity.
That said, in my opinion gender reveal parties are the biggest scam, waste of money out there right now in the pregnancy industry. Admittedly I am Team Green. However, I would still have this opinion even if my husband and I planned to learn the gender.
@ooodalollly I am right here with you on overfeeding animals. We work hard to keep our dog fit, so we can keep him in our lives as long as possible. Thank goodness his favorite treats are vegetables. Also, LOVE the screenname. Robin Hood is a personal favorite Disney movie.
@curiousfool1 what about them makes you think they are a scam? We are having one and not spending very much on it - our friends are letting us use their backyard for a BBQ for free and we are just providing food for all of our close friends. It's a way for us to celebrate the baby and announce the gender to the people dear to us in a fun way with a party.
Ill take it a step further and say that is cruel and should be considered child abuse to do the same thing to your children. Yes, kids can be picky and I don't expect every child to eat a perfectly balanced diet (mine definitely don't), but there is no reason for a toddler to eat large bags of chips, dessert every night, and have soda with meals. A girl from my first BMB has a 4 year old who does all of those things and is already showing the effects and is being set up for a life of weight struggles and medical issues. And it's entirely her parents' fault.
I also think it should be considered child abuse (and EXTREMELY selfish) if you smoke throughout your pregnancy and after. Smoking at all during pregnancy across the board is known to be dangerous, and we know secondhand smoke is directly linked to health issues. It's not fair. Children deserve to breathe clean air and not be born into this world with problems that could have been prevented.
@DuchessOfCambridge It breaks my heart to pull up to a stoplight and see smokers in the car next to me with kids in the back seat. Windows rolled down or not.
and @DuchessOfCambridge
The smoking while pregnant and with kids in car/present kills me. I was a smoker a million years ago- quit long before I was pregnant with my son. I know how hard it an be to quit, but it is doable if you really want to and get some help!
Hate when people smoke pg or smoke around children. I also hate when people overfeed their animals. I don't give my dogs treats until after they've eaten and even then, it's not that much. It's all about moderation just like it is with children.
My UO is that I don't hate Melania. She seems very intelligent (aside of the whole marrying Trump thing) and conscientious. I've noticed that she thinks about and is aware of the customs and norms of the places she visits and acts accordingly. She just seems very thoughtful. I still don't think she wanted to be First Lady though.
DS1 is 7. DD is 1. DS2 is coming in late April.
I grew up in a tobacco farming community and there was (and still is) a whole lot of flat out denial about the effects of smoking. My grandparents and dad always smoked with me in the car, I'm lucky I don't have asthma or anything like that now. As I type this my grandmother is in surgery having her entire cancerous right lung removed. It makes me sad, tobacco put food on our table as a kid but it also has cost me many people I love over the years.
About the over feeding thing I am not going to pretend that with 4 kids I am not completely overwhelmed and we don't do takeout once a week. But 6 days a week my children eat home-made healthy dinners and there are always healthy options (whether or not they choose to refuse them) one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is people giving children pop. I can't imagine what would ever possess an adult to give a small child a bottle of coke. Or putting it in their sippy cup. I ended up stopping being friends with a woman because I disagreed with her parenting style too much and really lost respect for her. The last straw was when she put diet coke (which is way worse for you than regular coke ) in her 15 month Olds sippy cup then SHOOK THE BUBBLES OUT because he didn't like them. Why bother? I don't even love giving my toddler juice unless it's a special occasion.
@av2323 that's so sad. The last thing children need is caffeine
**I say might because I hate it when STM say, "you just wait, blah blah blah." Maybe you're fully aware of what it's like and will just be better than I am.
I think it's weird when people on TB get offended or think it's weird that people won't share their baby names. Like yes, it doesn't reallyyyy matter because these are internet people you may never meet, but I'd rather introduce my baby with name to my family and friends before the internet. Let people do people, not everything needs to be shared online and it's not weird to keep things private.
eta - I made an appointment with someone new this weekend at a salon I've gone to in the past that's been fine, and they have some of her before and afters on FB. Fingers crossed. Im doing a weekend "away" but in town with DH and that's the first event, so I'm hoping it's decent and I won't have to wash my hair the rest of the weekend
We are constantly changing how much to feed our dogs based on the amount of activity they're getting. I've done a fair amount of research on exactly what my dogs should look like (can't go by weight because they're lab/pit mixes and the range hwy should be is something like 30-100 lbs) so when they look heavier we cut it down and if they look thin we give them more. They're super active too.
As as far as children I find it hard to believe that you can over feed them. It's all about what you give them that really matters. My kids eat and eat and eat but they're tiny. I've been blessed with two kids that will eat anything I give them. But everything is fine in moderation. If they're eating as much healthy food as they want/need will they really be unhealthy?
@KLink15 My cowboy boots are probably the most comfortable shoes I own. Too hot though!
I'm going to Tease in St Paul this time. I've never had a *bad* experience there, so I'm hoping it'll be okay!
eta: my phone actually says only 35 minutes to that salon, not bad at all! If I don't love Gina at Tease, I will try Brandy. Thanks again:)
He has had some health problems (kidney disease) in recent years, and there are times when he just refuses to eat. Cats will literally starve themselves, which can cause liver problems in just a few days, so when he goes through these phases we have to force feed him wet food in order to get him to eat. When he is eating, we are so thankful that he's hungry that we just give him as much food as he wants. Yet he is still skinnier than he was when we measured the food.
I love my hairstylist. She is the only one I have ever found who straightens my hair better than I can. She can even get it looking good with just a hair dryer, which is impossible for me (I have crazy hair).
My uo is I hate parents that don't "parent"
Example: went to McDonald's at about ten at night as a treat with my husband and brother, there was this family of four there (mom,dad, two kids) the kids were about 3. The lil girl would not stop screaming, not crying but screaming because she wanted something, then she climbed on top of a table near by and was jumping and trying to mess with the light that was now in her reach. Then her and her brother went over to the computer games they could barely reach the screen and almost busted open their heads trying to stand on the stolls that move around so easily. The parents did nothing to even stop their kids from getting hurt. When they left the parents were to busy talking to each other to hold on to their lil ones and the girl ran out in front of a car! Luckily the car was going slow and stopped before it hit her.
But it's parents like that that I hate, they don't seem to care what happens to their kids and it makes me so mad I want to stop the kid from getting hurt and yell at the parents at the same time!
DH is a doctor and saw a 5 year old whose parents thought he hurt his knee. The kid weighed over 100lbs. When DH walked in, he had a 2L of sprite and a bag of lays potato chips to keep him quiet. Guess why his knee hurt? It was having trouble supporting his weight. That's abuse.
*Disclaimer: it is absolutely NOT ok for a man to ever say or do anything to a woman because of how she is dressed. Men have brains, self control, and know exactly what they are doing. They must be held accountable for their actions.*