UO Thursday 5/25

petethecat · May 2017

Got any unpopular musings you want to share today, ladies?

pebbledam · May 2017

I think it's weird when you buy a birthday card for someone that you know really well and then just sign it. My MIL does this for Easter/birthday/father's day/Christmas/etc. I don't want to keep a card that a not personalized in some way, but DH disagrees.

lulu1180 · May 2017

I don't understand people whose lives revolve around Disney. I get being excited to go to the park to a point - I get excited about going to Cedar Point no matter how many times I've been in the past; however, I just don't get when people obsess about EVERYTHING DISNEY. Especially as an adult.

vflux33 · May 2017

I think people throw around the word "empowerment" too much, especially in regard to women/feminism. Like the Spice Girls were not empowering. Pole dancing is not empowering. If you like those things, that's fine--and I hope you enjoy them, but let's not kid ourselves here.

AliW220 · May 2017

A spin off of @pebbledam 's UO. I hate cards. period. It's a rectangle of paper that you buy for WAY too much, scribble some canned corny shit inside and then the receiver just throws it away.

vflux33 · May 2017

@AliW220 I totally agree. I get that it's a gesture, and I like gestures as much as the next guy, but they are super cheesy and overpriced. I never used to buy them, ever, but MH's family does cards a lot and so I feel like if I don't do it with them, I'm being an asshole or something.

Pinky917 · May 2017

@AliW220 I agree completely. I am also the ass who if I "have" to get a card I will get something just completely random. Sorry, I know you are getting married but I just couldn't resist this "Gobble til you Wobble" card shaped like a turkey...

Dilynne · May 2017

I guess mine is I love cards. I get a little hurt when H doesn't get me a card for our anniversary. Like, I wash your dirty socks, you can spend a buck at the dollar store and write me some corny crap lol

That being said on our first anniversary he did get me a card and he spelled my name wrong so maybe that traumatized him lol

izza2 · May 2017

I don't think kids need cell phones, tablets, or other such electronics until they're in middle school (10+, approx), and even then, they don't need smart phones or social media until high school age.

My DSS has a few girls in his class that have smart phones, and they have to be confiscated daily because otherwise they don't leave them alone.
He's 8. In 3rd grade. There's no need for a smart phone, or any phone, in 3rd grade.

mispanda · May 2017

@izza2 whhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Smart phones in 3rd grade? Uh that's crazy.

vflux33 · May 2017

@izza2 YES. Thank you. My sister does this. My nephew started playing Angry Birds on her cell phone when he was TWO (not exaggerating). By the time he was 3, he knew when she refused to buy the expansion pack, but he couldn't speak well (he's doing a lot better now b/c of speech therapy, thankfully). It was really fucking sad. Whenever anyone from the family pointed it out, she got super defensive and, of course, since I don't have kids "I don't know what it's like," etc. and that's true, I don't. But I feel like kind of a bad aunt for not challenging her on it sometimes. Alsoplusalso he has destroyed like 8 of her cell phones by throwing them in the toilet. You'd think that would be incentive enough...

grnmtnmama · May 2017

@izza2 Holy crap no! I got a cell phone (before the age of smart phones) when I was 17 and ONLY because I drove myself and my sister to school and our parents wanted me to have it for EMERGENCIES. An 8 year old does not need a phone. My DS is 4 and we've never given him a tablet or anything because he doesn't need it and also because kids break shit and I don't need him breaking expensive electronics!!! If we ever feel the need to get him a phone before driving age it will be a simple as hell phone with no internet/game capacity!

doxiemoxie212 · May 2017

I agree about cards! DH won't throw them away, and they just collect dust!

TW - a friend of mine is having a baby shower in two weeks (and I'm SO excited for them bc they were trying for 2.5 years), and the girls throwing the shower asked everyone to please bring a new/used book and write a note in the front cover instead of a card, and I think it's a really cute idea. I'm really happy we don't have to get a card.

grnmtnmama · May 2017

I am also in the I love cards camps. I like writing to people and I love receiving mail. I use blank cards though and write personal notes. The cards in stores are too expensive and also almost always borderline way too cheesy!

wannabeamongoose · May 2017

@doxiemoxie212 ***TW That's what my friend did for my shower with my first. We ended up with such a cool collection of books. And seriously no repeats. I was super surprised the we didn't end up with multiple copies of the same books. ***TW

ETA I totally didn't process that I was lurking on TTGP when I posted. Sorry for hijacking your thread ladies.

50Wife · May 2017

@doxiemoxie212 *tw* they did the book for a card thing at my baby shower and I loved it!!! I love that he has shelves of books with notes from our family. I always look in the cover to see who each book was from. *end tw*

Buying a book seems like it's not a waste of money too. You know they're not going to bring it home and just toss it.

RVAmom315 · May 2017

@doxiemoxie212 *TW That's what we did at my shower for DS. As an elementary school librarian it was important for me to develop his library, and we still read stores before bedtime that have those notes in there, including one from my grandma who passed away TW*

doxiemoxie212 · May 2017

The cell phone thing, IDK. Depends on circumstance. I went to a private school that I lived pretty far from, and no one lived near me, and my parents worked all the time, so I was a latch key kid sort of getting a ride to anyone's house who was available. My parents gave me one of those old Nokia cell phones with the antenna when I was in 6th grade so they could find out where I was easier. I think in that situation a flip phone is fine.

If we stay in NYC, though, I do think I'd get my kid a smart phone fairly young. Kids start taking the subways to school in large packs really young, and I'd want my kid to have the option to look things up on the map, call me, text me, etc. DH started taking the subway by himself at age 10, and his youngest brother (who is 10 years younger than he is, so I met him when he was 10) was the same. I do think schools should have some sort of policy though where parents can tell teachers if they've given their child a cell phone, and they have to give it to the teacher at the start of the day and can't get it back until it's time to go home. And yeah, screen time, but why on earth does Netflix have better filtering tools than an iPhone does?

That said, please God don't make me raise children in NYC lol. I don't waaaant to!

doxiemoxie212 · May 2017

@Lizlann @50Wife @RVAmom315 okay, confession: this is the first baby shower I'm attending (and second I've ever been invited to?) so lol it seemed so new and different to me!

RVAmom315 · May 2017

@doxiemoxie212 The other thing that was great about it was that we asked them to give a book that was special to them, so I had people bring books that they were read as children, or that they read to their children, so I got ones from 40 years ago to new, recent books.

doxiemoxie212 · May 2017

@RVAmom315 yes! So now i have to decide which book I want to bring. Decisions decisions!

50Wife · May 2017

@doxiemoxie212 before I had a kid, I'd just grab a book off of the shelf. So I definitely recommend putting some thought into it now that I'm on the other side of things. Momma will definitely appreciate and probably cry reading some of the books out there.
Make sure you leave a nice note to her and baby. It took us a year to get pregnant so my friend wrote how special he was going to be and how much everyone couldn't wait for him to be here and how loved he already is. I still cry reading her note

petethecat · May 2017

Yes @lulu1180. BIL and SIL are like this. They take these elaborate Disney vacations several times a year. SIL gets custom monogrammed outfits for all 3 kids for every day of their trip. Every time. I bet their oldest kid has been to Disney over 25 times already and he's 11. We don't even live near a park! At all. They have an extra special "Disney" Christmas tree every year at Christmas and they have garland on it made of all their fast passes. That's how many times they've been. It's annoying. I never went to Disney as a kid and always wanted to. My first and only time going was as an adult for my honeymoon and it was amazing! I cried at everything because it was so magical.

I feel like people that do this kind of stuff with their kids are doing them a huge disservice. It's turning something that's supposed to be special into NBD and then the kids don't even appreciate it because they expect it.

I love greeting cards. I'm with you @Dilynne. If DH gets me a gift for Valentines or something, but forgets the card, it makes me so sad. I don't know why it's so important to me, but it is.

My UO is that I just can't get with being a grammar snob on TB. (FWIW, I'm not citing anything specific that I've seen here recently. I'm just speaking generally on TB.) Like, yes, grammar, proper comma use, and correct word usage are important. However, we are not writing our doctoral dissertations here. I'll side eye a DD post with no periods whatsoever. Sure. But I don't need to point it out. Sometimes people type how they talk, use audio text, or have really gnarley auto correct. Whatever. I feel like taking the time to point these mistakes out is just reaching for something to feel superior on.

petethecat · May 2017

grnmtnmama said:

@izza2 Holy crap no! I got a cell phone (before the age of smart phones) when I was 17 and ONLY because I drove myself and my sister to school and our parents wanted me to have it for EMERGENCIES. An 8 year old does not need a phone. My DS is 4 and we've never given him a tablet or anything because he doesn't need it and also because kids break shit and I don't need him breaking expensive electronics!!! If we ever feel the need to get him a phone before driving age it will be a simple as hell phone with no internet/game capacity!

YES. All of this. If you give your 3 year old a tablet, I'm judging you. Sorry not sorry.

doxiemoxie212 · May 2017

@50Wife okay, I decided on Make Way for Ducklings. It was my fav as a kid.

lulu1180 · May 2017

On the topic of giving young children electronic devices, I have a picture of one of my nieces when she was about 18 months playing on my sister's phone with her older brother who was about 13 at the time. When he stopped letting her play, she threw a fit! I just don't get it although I realize that I don't have kids yet so maybe one day I will. However, I did not spend over $700 on a phone (thanks Verizon for no longer letting us have special upgrade pricing) to have a toddler destroy it!

doxiemoxie212 · May 2017

Just throwing it out there - they do have cases that are water proof and damage proof. Ladies in my office have their phones and ipads in them in case their kids get ahold of them.

Pinky917 · May 2017

kbamomma33 said:
*snip*

Whatever. I feel like taking the time to point these mistakes out is just reaching for something to feel superior on.

I had someone do this exact thing to me and it sent me on a serious rage!!!!!

petethecat · May 2017

@Pinky917 I actually do remember that. I'll leave this here in your honor.

elisek · May 2017

*TW*
My UO is that I actually hate when I'm told I have to bring a book instead of a card to a shower. I've had a billion of them to go to in the last couple years and every single one has done it while simultaneously thinking it's the coolest and most original idea ever. I get why it would be fun as the receiver, but as a giver, I really dislike when people dictate what kind of gift I am supposed to bring (beyond the registry items). I also hate writing in books, so I always end up bringing a card too.

Pinky917 · May 2017

@kbamomma33 Perfect!!! One of my goals in life is to have the opportunity to rage flip a table/desk

charlestonchew · May 2017

@elisek I sit with you. I dislike it as the gift giver because I don't like people dictating my gift. Maybe I'm just a control freak and that's where it comes from. However, as a gift receiver it sounds nice.

pebbledam · May 2017

I wanted to follow up re: the greeting cards. I LOVE sending birthday and Christmas cards to friends/family that live far away. I always include a personal note and it seems to make those people feel really special and loved (probably because I had to think ahead of time to get it delivered by their birthday).

@vflux33, @izza2 - My niece has been addicted to smart screens since she was 18 months old. DSS is 16 months old now and he does not play with our phones or tablet. He gets to learn how to be bored while his parents are running errands just like we did because it's a good life skill.

izza2 · May 2017

I think part of my diversion stems from the fact my brother and his wife let their boys start on electronics when they were young. They're addicted to gaming and know how to use electronics better than I do as an adult. They will throw fits and tantrums if they can't play a game whole company is around visiting.
And they'll switch the tv from a movie to their game in a split second if they think they can get away with it for even a minute.
They're 6 and 3. They also have absolutely NO imagination at all.

I had a tracfone when I was in 6th grade because I did sports. It had minutes on it for emergencies if I missed the bus or something happened. That's one thing, and that's what we want for DSS when he starts modified sports, just in case. But I don't see any reason that he needs a cell phone when I put him on the bus, my mum gets him off the bus, and if he plays sports we're driving him and staying with him.

grnmtnmama · May 2017

@kbamomma33 I would personally love to do Disney once or twice with our kid(s) in the future but that being said I TOTALLY side eye the elaborate vacations with matching Disney themed outfits. Like slow your roll. I have a friend who lives in FL and they have yearly passes and every time they go she dresses her kids in new matching Disney themed outfits for everyday they are there (they go for three day weekends several times a year). That is SO MUCH Disney themed clothing. WHY.

grnmtnmama · May 2017

@elisek I am with you. I am on the "please don't tell me what to gift you" train.

Also slightly related, I have been irrationally annoyed by the new trend of people having honeymoon related registries. Like buy us this excursion for our tropical vacation! Or give us money for the plane tickets! How about no lol. I may also just be bitter that it took DH and I almost 4 years to actually take a honeymoon

Avrilmai · May 2017

Greeting cards- I like them. I think it stems from my grandmother. She LOVES getting cards and they will sometimes bring her to tears. That side of the family is not good at expressing emotions, so I think greeting cards are a way for them to do so without having to "get emotional". I have every card I have been given since high school...

I'm so torn on the books at a shower thing. I see both sides. For a shower I was part of throwing we bought a bunch of books and had the guests sign them almost like a guest book. So the guests got to leave personal messages and the baby got some cool books, but we didn't dictate what kind of gift to bring, bc no.

I didnt get a cell phone until I was in college...

theoryofwhat · May 2017

@grnmtnmama
I didn't even know that was a thing but I am already annoyed at it. The entitlementis unreal with snowflakes like those.

Maybe not unpopular, but I see it A LOT.
I don't understand couples who share a Facebook page instead of having their own, respective profiles.
If you're going to have a Facebook, you might as well have your own. When you're in a relationship, it's not like you morph into a single entity.

I just think that you shouldn't lose your identity when you get married or in a relationship, it doesn't seem healthy.

Plus, most of those profile post the most annoying AW, "look how awesome we are" vibe.

doxiemoxie212 · May 2017

@yayglitter have never seen, would unfriend

shortstack930 · May 2017

I guess I'm the UO because my almost 3 year old has a tablet. However, it was DH's super old tablet and we gave it to her when she was 2, with only two apps loaded on it. I was very against it initially but she has always been very advanced with language and she only watches educational things on it. She never uses it outside the house and she is only allowed set time on it a couple of times a week. She has a great imagination and loves to read, so in our case I don't see it at a problem. Most kids are using tablets in elementary school classes now anyway. That being said, there's no way she's getting a cell phone before high school.

doxiemoxie212 · May 2017

I can understand both sides, and obviously it's a personal decision, but on some level we have to accept that our world is screen centric at this point. Yes, we may lose certain forms of learning and creativity, but we also gain different forms of learning and creativity which might be more pertinent to our future society. Growing up I know a lot of my friends parents were anti TV or anti movie, but my parents worked in TV/movies, so it was sort of unavoidable that I watched. Personally, I'm glad I did. There was a lot of open communication with my parents, and I think I personally learned a lot more than I would have otherwise through TV/movies - both emotionally and factually. I think tablets and cell phones fall into a similar space. That said, it's a fine line between allowing something to be a small part of your child's life and enabling an addiction.

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