this may come as a shock since i say ZOMG on the daily, note i say "zo-mig" in my head. buttttt
i think it is offensive to say "oh my God" or "jesus" in exasperation. i get that it might not be offensive to you, and that is fine you dont have to share my beliefs, but i still think people should be more sensitive to those around them in regards to that. to me it is similar to saying "retarded". and it irks me a bit it is so common i have had to have a talk with DD1 by age 2 about it.
I think people in general should STFU about other people's relationships. Unless something is clearly abusive, no one else's relationship is wrong.
If DH and I have an agreement to communicate with each other in a certain way (i.e. text me if you are going to be late so I don't spiral into anxiety-land) then it doesn't matter an iota if you think I'm being unreasonable.
Inspiried by douche-bag BIL and his nose in my marriage.
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I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
DH and I have no problem doing things separate. I don't care if he wants to go out with his friends once in awhile. I don't care if he wants to go visit his parents by himself. We do not need to be joined at the hip and no, our marriage is not in trouble. I would poke my eyes out if I had to do every single thing with him every single day. I love him. But just no.
BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13. BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
people roll their eyes how H and i will talk negative to each other...like we poke fun at our flaws in a joking manner. it helps us talk about our issues without "talking" about it. and it makes light of it. i am not picking apart his manhood. settle that is just how we roll.
@carries2018 We don't say that either. I do use gosh and omg (gosh) a lot lol. It annoys me when people say that's the same thing, because that's what you mean. Nope, I mean oh my gosh! haha
@carries2018 I'm guilty of OMG but dh uses Jesus often and it drives me crazy. He usually adds in the f bomb and Christ too and that makes me stabby. I'm always telling him to knock it off. How is that not offensive but saying retard or using gay in a passive manner is? They're all in the same category to me
@jessafishy completely agree, unless someone is constantly complaining about their SO, then you're asking for other people's opinions. Like my SIL, who constantly complains about the totally absurd and asshole things her husband does. If you're going to talk like he's treating you like shit, I'm going to assume he is and I'm not going to be his biggest fan. But other than that, I agree people need to butt out
I think it's weird to do a gender reveal if you already know the gender. I'm all about waiting to find out and getting people together where you all find out together. But I've had 2 couples recently post on FB their "gender reveal" where they already knew the gender but were basically doing the reveal for family/friends and both of them were so awkward. To each their own though! If that's what you want to do then more power to you. I just find it strange.
@carries2018 DH and I poke fun at each other all the time. I poke fun at him way more though and I've had people tell me I'm mean to him.. uh, no. That's just how our relationship works. It's not like he gets offended by it. We both find it funny! We actually have a pretty kickers relationship.
i don't like when people say "my DD is the most beautiful girl in the world!" "my husband is the best father/husband in the world" i think i get a little more stabby when it is in regards to children bc i think that sets them up on this pedestal. your DD is beautiful, your H i am sure is a lovely awesome guy. but they are not the best in the world. just say "DD is beautiful!" lots of people are beautiful you dont need to exclude everyone else in that statement.
@dumbledoredies We're doing our gender reveal party this weekend and we already know what it is. We were going to wait to find out all together, but if it had been a girl, in all honesty, I think I would have been a little bummed and I'm not good at hiding my emotions. Also, DS would have been pretty upset, so I wanted us and our kids to know if it was a girl before finding out in front of everyone else.
@sjohns908 lol at the slow hand raise. Like I said, more power to you! I know there are specific reasons that people do it and that it's exciting to tell family and friends in a fun way.
@sjohns908 my brother and SIL made a video of their reveal telling their other 4 kids, and the youngest boy stormed out of the room because he was so mad it was a sister. It was really funny coming from a little kid, but I think it's sweet that you wanted uour DS to be prepared.
@carries2018 I haaaaate when people say that "best in the world" stuff, especially when it is something dumb like "My husband sent me flowers on a cliche day to send flowers, he's the beeest husband ever!!!" I seriously doubt it, girl.
I think it's weird to do a gender reveal if you already know the gender. I'm all about waiting to find out and getting people together where you all find out together. But I've had 2 couples recently post on FB their "gender reveal" where they already knew the gender but were basically doing the reveal for family/friends and both of them were so awkward. To each their own though! If that's what you want to do then more power to you. I just find it strange.
@carries2018 DH and I poke fun at each other all the time. I poke fun at him way more though and I've had people tell me I'm mean to him.. uh, no. That's just how our relationship works. It's not like he gets offended by it. We both find it funny! We actually have a pretty kickers relationship.
I'm guilty of this, we knew, the reveal was for our family. It was a great party and a fun way to celebrate our little one since there won't be a shower or anything. Not awkward at all.
I think maternity pants should have belt loops. At least give me the option!
My favorite pair of maternity jeans actually had the full top of the pants complete with a button. I felt like it had more structure to keep the pants in place. All of the new ones I have gotten I have to constantly yank them up so they aren't hanging halfway off my butt.
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I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
@carries2018 is full of good ones today. Can we add GD to the list? That is the worst phrase, I will stop watching/listening to anything when that word is used.
I hate when people call my DD princess.
UO I hate when grandparents refer to my kids as "my baby." Nope, pretty sure they came out of my body and are mine and DH's.
i dont knock people at all for doing them. but gender reveal parties in general are not for me.
Same. Mostly because the idea of planning a party for it makes me want to crawl in my bed and watch Netflix and not speak to anyone.
Is my introvert showing?
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I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
I'm guilty of saying OMG on occasion, but have been consciously trying to say "oh my goodness" instead. I don't say GD at least...
I think gender reveal parties are very fun, and kinda wish I'd had one. I don't mind if the parents know already, especially if it is to prepare the younger kids. I went to a gender reveal once where the mother cried when she saw it was a boy. In situations like that, it probably would have been better if she knew ahead of time.
My UO: Gender reveals are not actually gender reveals. They are sex reveals. Gender is the person's lived experience of being male or female. Until LO is old enough to communicate their gender with us, we are really just talking about their sex. I called mine a sex reveal for that reason!
As someone who works with special needs children, I hate when people use the word retarded. It really irritates me.
DH and I poke fun at each other all the time...maybe a little too harsh to some? The phrase "like your mother" often follows a phrase that might seem offensive to others (for example, DH said last night "This chicken is so juicy...like your mother). We'll flip each other the bird randomly, poke fun at our short-comings, but it's all in good fun and neither of us have gotten upset/offended by this. We really love each other, we're just smart asses too.
June 2017 Siggy Challenge: "You had one job to do!"
@Brambles23 That word irritates me too. Sometimes my students use it as a derogatory term, and they always get a nice little chat with me in the hallway because of it. Especially when there are sound effects that accompany it. Makes me want to punch things...but also educate them about how that's not cool.
I hate melon. Not very controversial, I know, but I bought a fruit salad for my lunch today and it *looked* like it was mostly berries and pineapple (the good fruit), but the middle was all honeydew and cantaloupe. Gross.
I don't live with religion in my life so I don't tend to say those phrases. I am guilty of using OMG but I believe that's more of a generational cue for shock rather then the actual name.
One of the phrases that bothers me is when someone uses the word gay to signify something negative. I don't think someone's sexual orientation should be used as a negative connotation.
My UO - If you are paid salary, you shouldn't complain when you are asked for a hand for an after hours situation. It's already a rare occurrence where I work and our jobs are very accommodating. Just take some time off here, it's not like we count it anyway!
UO: I hate when grandparents suggest they are going to "take" my kid because DH and I need them to. Unless we've specifically asked for an overnight for DD or something when we have plans, we don't truly need you to take her. Yes getting a break from DD at this age is nice, sure not having to worry about her for a night or two is wonderful, don't get me wrong. And we consider ourselves very lucky to have grandparents who can and want to have DD overnight! Simply rephrasing it to "I would love to have DD for a couple days coming up" so it doesn't sound like you're going to kidnap her from my house would be great! Mmmm k?
meanwhile, i just wish a grandparent would take our kids haha. i get jealous of all of these family members dying to see your kids. i mean grandparents are in my kids lives. but to visit not take. PLEASE TAKE THEM!
Ugh my maternity jeans from last time are so saggy. I hate them. Also mine don't have pockets, which I also hate. Where did you find a pair that had the full top and button @jessafishy?
I'm not religious and feel guilty when OMG slips out when I'm around someone who might take offense to it.
I have never hosted or attended a gender/sex reveal. Not for me, but I could see it being kind of fun to be a guest.
I don't really care if the grandparents refer to DS as their baby (although I don't think they do, so maybe that's why it doesn't bother me?) or if they say they're taking him for the day. In fact I'm pretty sure I tell my mom "Thanks for taking DS today!" every Wednesday when she watches him. *shrug*
+1 on the can't stand calling kids prince or princesses. My child has a name. I would elaborate more, but fear someone I know may see this. I might elaborate in the PG.
I wonder if the people who find OMG offensive also find it offensive when people say "Lord" or "Oh Lord" ... my Southern friends say this all the time as an expression of surprise or forbearance.
I will say I think saying OMG is patently different from using the term "retard" or "gay" in a derogatory manner, and I think it does a disservice to the LGBTQ and developmentally challenged communities to equate the two. When I say OMG or goddamn, you may interpret it as lacking respect for your deity of choice (I don't see it that way at all, but to each her own) -- but it is not being used AS an insult. But when someone uses "retard" or "gay", they are using those words in lieu of "stupid," and they denigrate not a hypothetical idea but actual human beings. There's a difference between invoking a deity as an exclamation of surprise, on the one hand, and using immutable character traits as synonyms for "stupid", on the other. Not the same thing to me at all.
@migdala i dont think any of those words should be used, but it is in the very basis of our belief (10 commandments) to not say it. that is what we center our lives around, it is a big part of our identity. i think we need to be accepting and respectful of all people.
@sdarling2010 SAME!! My in-laws take it to the next level — for months after our son was born, whenever we met up with them and it was time to go, they would always take my baby and say, "Okay, say goodbye to Mommy and Daddy! Bye bye!" And start to walk away from us. Like what the heck. I tried to play along the first few times but finally said something.
We're now getting "Oh well DS can just come live with us when the new baby gets here," which is just as maddening. Thankfully my husband shut that down last time with a comment like, "Yeah, because THAT will help him adjust to his brother or sister."
+1 to being sick of saggy, no pocket maternity pants! Whoever made them obviously has never had to wear them. Shopping for a few new things today because I can't stand what I have.
If DD weren't a complete nightmare when returning from just 2 nights at the inlaws I'd be cool with it. But they provide no structure, let her say, do and act however she wants and give in to everything. I saw some of this just when they were at our house on Friday. (She was a complete snot and walked all over them because they allowed it - I did step in and remind her that's not ok.) I know when she comes home she will be a screaming crazy lunatic for at least 2-3 days. Totally different kid.
@lemonlyman I'm a little worried about my ILs pulling stuff like this. My BIL and SIL live a couple hours away and are, frankly, kind of weird, so my ILs don't see their grandkids very often. On the other hand, we live ten minutes away from them (and are the favorites), so they will see our baby much more frequently. My FIL isn't great with boundaries (see my post a few posts up), so I could see him doing stuff like this and my MIL going right along with it.
@sdarling2010 That's our issue too, when our kids are with the ILs, they get whatever they want and there's little regard for the rules we have in place for them (no soda, don't go super overboard on candy, they can't sleep in your bed). One night with them and its chaos when they come back. Plus if they go to the store, they will always, always get some sort of toy (My parents are guilty of this one too) and its made it so hard for us to go to the store as a family. The fits they throw because they *expect* to get whatever they want is insanely irritating
Re: UO
i think it is offensive to say "oh my God" or "jesus" in exasperation. i get that it might not be offensive to you, and that is fine you dont have to share my beliefs, but i still think people should be more sensitive to those around them in regards to that. to me it is similar to saying "retarded". and it irks me a bit it is so common i have had to have a talk with DD1 by age 2 about it.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
If DH and I have an agreement to communicate with each other in a certain way (i.e. text me if you are going to be late so I don't spiral into anxiety-land) then it doesn't matter an iota if you think I'm being unreasonable.
Inspiried by douche-bag BIL and his nose in my marriage.
I heart YNAB
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“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
DH and I have no problem doing things separate. I don't care if he wants to go out with his friends once in awhile. I don't care if he wants to go visit his parents by himself. We do not need to be joined at the hip and no, our marriage is not in trouble. I would poke my eyes out if I had to do every single thing with him every single day. I love him. But just no.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
@jessafishy completely agree, unless someone is constantly complaining about their SO, then you're asking for other people's opinions. Like my SIL, who constantly complains about the totally absurd and asshole things her husband does. If you're going to talk like he's treating you like shit, I'm going to assume he is and I'm not going to be his biggest fan. But other than that, I agree people need to butt out
@carries2018 DH and I poke fun at each other all the time. I poke fun at him way more though and I've had people tell me I'm mean to him.. uh, no. That's just how our relationship works. It's not like he gets offended by it. We both find it funny! We actually have a pretty kickers relationship.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
We're doing our gender reveal party this weekend and we already know what it is. We were going to wait to find out all together, but if it had been a girl, in all honesty, I think I would have been a little bummed and I'm not good at hiding my emotions. Also, DS would have been pretty upset, so I wanted us and our kids to know if it was a girl before finding out in front of everyone else.
I still think it's strange though.
Baby Boy due October 2017
I heart YNAB
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“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
@carries2018 is full of good ones today. Can we add GD to the list? That is the worst phrase, I will stop watching/listening to anything when that word is used.
I hate when people call my DD princess.
UO I hate when grandparents refer to my kids as "my baby." Nope, pretty sure they came out of my body and are mine and DH's.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
Is my introvert showing?
I heart YNAB
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“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
I'm guilty of saying OMG on occasion, but have been consciously trying to say "oh my goodness" instead. I don't say GD at least...
I think gender reveal parties are very fun, and kinda wish I'd had one. I don't mind if the parents know already, especially if it is to prepare the younger kids. I went to a gender reveal once where the mother cried when she saw it was a boy. In situations like that, it probably would have been better if she knew ahead of time.
My UO: Gender reveals are not actually gender reveals. They are sex reveals. Gender is the person's lived experience of being male or female. Until LO is old enough to communicate their gender with us, we are really just talking about their sex. I called mine a sex reveal for that reason!
DH and I poke fun at each other all the time...maybe a little too harsh to some? The phrase "like your mother" often follows a phrase that might seem offensive to others (for example, DH said last night "This chicken is so juicy...like your mother). We'll flip each other the bird randomly, poke fun at our short-comings, but it's all in good fun and neither of us have gotten upset/offended by this. We really love each other, we're just smart asses too.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
One of the phrases that bothers me is when someone uses the word gay to signify something negative. I don't think someone's sexual orientation should be used as a negative connotation.
My UO - If you are paid salary, you shouldn't complain when you are asked for a hand for an after hours situation. It's already a rare occurrence where I work and our jobs are very accommodating. Just take some time off here, it's not like we count it anyway!
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
I'm not religious and feel guilty when OMG slips out when I'm around someone who might take offense to it.
I have never hosted or attended a gender/sex reveal. Not for me, but I could see it being kind of fun to be a guest.
I don't really care if the grandparents refer to DS as their baby (although I don't think they do, so maybe that's why it doesn't bother me?) or if they say they're taking him for the day. In fact I'm pretty sure I tell my mom "Thanks for taking DS today!" every Wednesday when she watches him. *shrug*
I will say I think saying OMG is patently different from using the term "retard" or "gay" in a derogatory manner, and I think it does a disservice to the LGBTQ and developmentally challenged communities to equate the two. When I say OMG or goddamn, you may interpret it as lacking respect for your deity of choice (I don't see it that way at all, but to each her own) -- but it is not being used AS an insult. But when someone uses "retard" or "gay", they are using those words in lieu of "stupid," and they denigrate not a hypothetical idea but actual human beings. There's a difference between invoking a deity as an exclamation of surprise, on the one hand, and using immutable character traits as synonyms for "stupid", on the other. Not the same thing to me at all.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
We're now getting "Oh well DS can just come live with us when the new baby gets here," which is just as maddening. Thankfully my husband shut that down last time with a comment like, "Yeah, because THAT will help him adjust to his brother or sister."
If DD weren't a complete nightmare when returning from just 2 nights at the inlaws I'd be cool with it. But they provide no structure, let her say, do and act however she wants and give in to everything. I saw some of this just when they were at our house on Friday. (She was a complete snot and walked all over them because they allowed it - I did step in and remind her that's not ok.) I know when she comes home she will be a screaming crazy lunatic for at least 2-3 days. Totally different kid.