i think the great grandparent debate (how involved they are) will always have a "grass is greener" mentality. bc there are pluses and minuses to all the sides. how i thought it was going to be before kids is a lot different than how it is.
@lemonlyman do we have the same inlaws?? So frustrating! Good job for your DH speaking up too! FIL said last week (out of DH's earshot, of course) "you're going to be so glad when we take DD after this baby comes!" I stayed silent. I wasn't going to start something right after her recital. But if it happens again I will speak up - she will be in preschool 4 days a week, you live 2 hours away, you can't get her to school or help her adjust to a new baby that far away. NOT HAPPENING!
@shan24 I hate honeydew but love cantaloupe. I feel like I should either love both or hate both...
Same! I don't understand myself either.
Similarly my dad will eat peanuts but not peanut butter. I'm like...doesn't it just turn to peanut butter in your mouth when you're chewing?
i am totally guilty of saying oh my god almost instinctively in a moment of shock (notable last week when I walked into our hotel bathroom to find a GIANT cockroach in the bathtub where I was about to give DD a bath). I'm not religious and try not to say it on the daily (though I type omg all the time). I guess there's always room for improvement.
@soprano19 I recommend getting your husband on board for all grandparent-related conversations early!!
Those comments didn't bother mine as much at first, but as soon as he understood how much it upset, he was totally game to put a stop to it—ditto for the times he's been bothered by something my parents have said. Being a united front is SO important, especially with boundary pushers
i am guilty of using omg, gd, etc. and i admit i didn't realize how offensive it can be. i am not religious, nor are my friends and family but that is not an excuse. i will be more cognizant of what comes out of my mouth in the future.
i agree with @migdala though, hearing gay, retard, etc. is fucking nails on a chalkboard for me.
On the whole OMG and all those words. I feel bad and I hope y'all don't flame me. But I have the mouth of a sailor as does my husband. It's a horrible habit that we've been trying to break but it wouldn't shock me if this child's first word was shit. Like not in the slightest.
On in the process thing. My mother had already started that and I want to punch her in the throat. "Princess Bridget" STOP. No.
@riverrainez I got them from JC Penney. I actually looked to see if they still had them and was disappointed in their current selection. My current pair is a little too big because I was heavier when I got pregnant with DS. I still wear them but they don't fit as well.
--------
I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
i don't like when people say "my DD is the most beautiful girl in the world!" "my husband is the best father/husband in the world" i think i get a little more stabby when it is in regards to children bc i think that sets them up on this pedestal. your DD is beautiful, your H i am sure is a lovely awesome guy. but they are not the best in the world. just say "DD is beautiful!" lots of people are beautiful you dont need to exclude everyone else in that statement.
@carries2018 Totally guilty of the "best husband in the world" bit...lol He's the best to me
My take on "offensive words": My parents have a lot of words that offend them. Such as b***ch, f***, a**, also any words that "take the Lord's name vain" or replacements for those. I am fine with that and will not use those words around them and will avoid saying them around my kids, so they don't repeat them back to their grandparents.
That being said, they get so mad when I police what they say around my kids. For example, I won't let them speak ill of someone else's sexual orientation, race, religion, gender identity, mental incapacity, etc. or use words that refer to any of the above in a negative light. I won't let them talk about how they think they are or someone else is fat or trying out a new weight loss fad. (Instead, let's talk about what type of fuel our bodies need to operate at their fullest potential.) They call me PC and say that our society is overly PC and they should be able to say whatever they want.
In summary, dear parents: If you want me to f***ing avoid a bunch of words with lame a** meanings that aren't even intended as a sh*tty insult, then OMG!!! behave like a respectful person and don't throw around powerful and deeply painful words in the presence of me or my kids.
End rant.
*Siggy warning - loss mentioned* Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17 High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
+1 to hating the Prince/Princess thing. I know someone who's kid stays at grandma's enough to have her own room (literally every weekend while her parents get a "break") and they have plastered on the wall "Princess ____" Ugh, just ugh.
I hate the Princess thing, I think it's so toxic. My parents know better than to use that word for her but DH's parents will need some training. We picked her name because it means "warrior" -- don't call her a princess!
+1 to hating the Prince/Princess thing. I know someone who's kid stays at grandma's enough to have her own room (literally every weekend while her parents get a "break") and they have plastered on the wall "Princess ____" Ugh, just ugh.
My nephew stay's with my parents every singe weekend so the mom can clean. *major eye roll*
i dont get the kids away every weekend thing. i mean as much as i am envious of that freedom. i work all week i only get those 2 days. sometimes i want to run away. but that is my time, i like to be with them.
i have never called DDs princess and it annoys me when ppl refer to their daughters as that. but at the same time she says she wants to be a princess when she grows up so i dunno is that toxic? bc i really dgaf. go be a princess gurl.
+1000 on any variation of OMG/+ other curse words thrown in there
@carries2018@TallMomma29 I REFUSE to "like" any pictures or statuses with ridiculous superlatives. I'm sure you have an awesome husband well suited to you, but is he THE BEST husband in the entire world? Doubt it. Yes, your baby is cute, but is he THE CUTEST BABY EVER? Nope, probably not. No need to put all the other babies in the world down LOL. The biggest offense is when someone says "my _________ is cuter/better than yours". That is literally just downright rude. Ok I'm done lol.
My UO: I can't stand when people comment (esp on Facebook) with "This." Like one word just saying "This.".....it just bugs the crap out of me. Can't you just say, I agree/yes/me too/etc. ?!!
Also: the "this" comment wasn't directed at anyone bin particular from this board LOL. Just drives me crazy and I needed to tell someone. I just have a lot of feelings, OK?
Another UO (although I don't know if it's unpopular): I think it's weird when people I don't know speculate on the gender of my child. My moms EX-husband acts like he's the authority on what gender my child will be because he happened to guess correctly with DS. Newsflash: there's a 50/50 chance you'll guess right. We will all find out in October.
My take on "offensive words": My parents have a lot of words that offend them. Such as b***ch, f***, a**, also any words that "take the Lord's name vain" or replacements for those. I am fine with that and will not use those words around them and will avoid saying them around my kids, so they don't repeat them back to their grandparents.
That being said, they get so mad when I police what they say around my kids. For example, I won't let them speak ill of someone else's sexual orientation, race, religion, gender identity, mental incapacity, etc. or use words that refer to any of the above in a negative light. I won't let them talk about how they think they are or someone else is fat or trying out a new weight loss fad. (Instead, let's talk about what type of fuel our bodies need to operate at their fullest potential.) They call me PC and say that our society is overly PC and they should be able to say whatever they want.
In summary, dear parents: If you want me to f***ing avoid a bunch of words with lame a** meanings that aren't even intended as a sh*tty insult, then OMG!!! behave like a respectful person and don't throw around powerful and deeply painful words in the presence of me or my kids.
I'm one of those annoying people who spell out "OMG" when I say it and I can't help it. Dildo about Prince/Princess for nicknames.
Me: 31 DH:35 TTC #1: March 2011 Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued) dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids 2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy 6 rounds of clomid 5 rounds of iui IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS 4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls FET 1/10/2017 Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017 FET 2/2 BFP 2/7/17 Beta#1: 594!!! Beta#2 1630!!! Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
Finally caught up. Re: princesses, we definitely had a whole thread on this at some point. Before I had DD I was so anti princesses, pink, all the traditional girl stereotype stuff. Now, while I don't promote those things, I'm definitely not going to prevent DD from watching certain shows or playing with certain toys because they're princess related. She likes what she likes, and I'll support her on that.
I dont remember who said it, but I don't like melon either. Except watermelon.
I'm indifferent on the omg thing. I am not religious, but I try not to say it because I know it offends others. Of course, it's somewhat habitual for a lot of people in our generation. But I'm trying!
and that's all I can remember for now.
October 2017 June Siggy Challenge -- "You Had One Job!"
Whoa lol. I'm not even going to edit that last comment.
Me: 31 DH:35 TTC #1: March 2011 Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued) dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids 2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy 6 rounds of clomid 5 rounds of iui IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS 4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls FET 1/10/2017 Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017 FET 2/2 BFP 2/7/17 Beta#1: 594!!! Beta#2 1630!!! Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
My take on "offensive words": My parents have a lot of words that offend them. Such as b***ch, f***, a**, also any words that "take the Lord's name vain" or replacements for those. I am fine with that and will not use those words around them and will avoid saying them around my kids, so they don't repeat them back to their grandparents.
That being said, they get so mad when I police what they say around my kids. For example, I won't let them speak ill of someone else's sexual orientation, race, religion, gender identity, mental incapacity, etc. or use words that refer to any of the above in a negative light. I won't let them talk about how they think they are or someone else is fat or trying out a new weight loss fad. (Instead, let's talk about what type of fuel our bodies need to operate at their fullest potential.) They call me PC and say that our society is overly PC and they should be able to say whatever they want.
In summary, dear parents: If you want me to f***ing avoid a bunch of words with lame a** meanings that aren't even intended as a sh*tty insult, then OMG!!! behave like a respectful person and don't throw around powerful and deeply painful words in the presence of me or my kids.
End rant.
This.
--------
I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
My UO: I think the push to make the term "gender" only refer to social constructs vs. actually anatomy is counterproductive. The term means both social constructs and actual sex.. so it is not incorrect to refer to the "gender" of your unborn child based solely on their anatomy. The only reason people have to "identify" as male or female anyway is because we have these social constructs about what it means to be "male" or "female." Why can't we be who we are without having to "identify" ourselves based on made up social norms? Isn't forcing people to acknowledge "gender" solely as something different than their sex just reinforcing the stereotypes that we'd actually like to get rid of?
My UO: I think the push to make the term "gender" only refer to social constructs vs. actually anatomy is counterproductive. The term means both social constructs and actual sex.. so it is not incorrect to refer to the "gender" of your unborn child based solely on their anatomy. The only reason people have to "identify" as male or female anyway is because we have these social constructs about what it means to be "male" or "female." Why can't we be who we are without having to "identify" ourselves based on made up social norms? Isn't forcing people to acknowledge "gender" solely as something different than their sex just reinforcing the stereotypes that we'd actually like to get rid of?
@beezeemarie yes. Watermelon is an exception and it's offensive to me that it's in the same fruit category as the gross other melons.
@TallMomma29 there was a couple in Toronto that I read about a few years back who refused to identify their child as make or female. The child was given a gender neutral name and didn't tell anyone what anatomical parts the child had. The child was allowed to choose their own clothes and toys. It's was an interesting read. I should look to see if anyone has done an update on that family.
The real basis of my opinion isn't that deep... I'm just still bitter years later about how much women got flamed on TB back in the day if they dared refer to their baby's gender, even though that is a correct use of the term regardless of social constructs.
So that extra part is the ragey argument that I have in my head and keep to myself like "first of all, it's correct and second of all that doesn't make sense anyways so THERE. " Hopefully expressed here a little more eloquently.
@TallMomma29 definitely wasn't saying it in a negative way....more like an "in awe" kind of way because baby has taken over my brain and I do not have deep thoughts anymore.
I just feel like kids should be kids and not even have to be concerned about that until they're older. DD is only 3 and she already has very clear opinions about what she wants to wear and play with. If she wants to wear pink and tutus and carry around her baby doll that's fine. If she wants to play with cars and trucks and wear blue shirts, that's fine, too.
BFP#1: 12/3/13 EDD 8/15/13. Heartbeat found on 12/26/13, HB gone on 1/4/13. D&C 1/7/13
BFP#2: 4/19/13 EDD 12/28/13. Team Green for pregnancy and Baby Girl arrived 12/21/13. BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
I'm one of those annoying people who spell out "OMG" when I say it and I can't help it. Dildo about Prince/Princess for nicknames.
This was amazing. I'm cracking up at all the dildo jokes. Also, I almost searched for a dildo gif and then decided my work IT people would come hunt me down if I did. So just imagine the gif in your head
I'm one of those annoying people who spell out "OMG" when I say it and I can't help it. Dildo about Prince/Princess for nicknames.
This was amazing. I'm cracking up at all the dildo jokes. Also, I almost searched for a dildo gif and then decided my work IT people would come hunt me down if I did. So just imagine the gif in your head
I gotchu
June 2017 Siggy Challenge: "You had one job to do!"
Meh, I think when you know better you should do better. If you know that using the term gender could be hurtful to a group of people who are struggling with their identity, then it's kind of an asshole move to continue using it because it "doesn't matter to you and they mean the same thing".
But I'm pretty much in that boat when ti comes to almost every topic. Just because YOU aren't personally affected by something or it's not important to YOU, doesn't make it not important.
--------
I heart theSkimm I heart YNAB --------- “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
Re: UO
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
Similarly my dad will eat peanuts but not peanut butter. I'm like...doesn't it just turn to peanut butter in your mouth when you're chewing?
i am totally guilty of saying oh my god almost instinctively in a moment of shock (notable last week when I walked into our hotel
bathroom to find a GIANT cockroach in the bathtub where I was about to give DD a bath). I'm not religious and try not to say it on the daily (though I type omg all the time). I guess there's always room for improvement.
*O17 June Siggy Challenge - You had 1 job!*
Those comments didn't bother mine as much at first, but as soon as he understood how much it upset, he was totally game to put a stop to it—ditto for the times he's been bothered by something my parents have said. Being a united front is SO important, especially with boundary pushers
i agree with @migdala though, hearing gay, retard, etc. is fucking nails on a chalkboard for me.
On in the process thing. My mother had already started that and I want to punch her in the throat. "Princess Bridget" STOP. No.
Lately I've been finding myself saying "fudge" instead of swearing lol.
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
My parents have a lot of words that offend them. Such as b***ch, f***, a**, also any words that "take the Lord's name vain" or replacements for those. I am fine with that and will not use those words around them and will avoid saying them around my kids, so they don't repeat them back to their grandparents.
That being said, they get so mad when I police what they say around my kids. For example, I won't let them speak ill of someone else's sexual orientation, race, religion, gender identity, mental incapacity, etc. or use words that refer to any of the above in a negative light. I won't let them talk about how they think they are or someone else is fat or trying out a new weight loss fad. (Instead, let's talk about what type of fuel our bodies need to operate at their fullest potential.) They call me PC and say that our society is overly PC and they should be able to say whatever they want.
In summary, dear parents: If you want me to f***ing avoid a bunch of words with lame a** meanings that aren't even intended as a sh*tty insult, then OMG!!! behave like a respectful person and don't throw around powerful and deeply painful words in the presence of me or my kids.
End rant.
Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
BFP: 10.3.16 | CP: 10.11.16
BFP: 12.14.16 | CP: 12.14.16
BFP: 1.23.17 | EDD 10.6.17 -- DS born 10.7.17
BFP: 9.9.18 | EDD 5.23.19 -- DD born 5.24.19
BFP: 9.1.21 | MC 10.1.21
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
@carries2018 @TallMomma29 I REFUSE to "like" any pictures or statuses with ridiculous superlatives. I'm sure you have an awesome husband well suited to you, but is he THE BEST husband in the entire world? Doubt it. Yes, your baby is cute, but is he THE CUTEST BABY EVER? Nope, probably not. No need to put all the other babies in the world down LOL. The biggest offense is when someone says "my _________ is cuter/better than yours". That is literally just downright rude. Ok I'm done lol.
My UO: I can't stand when people comment (esp on Facebook) with "This." Like one word just saying "This.".....it just bugs the crap out of me. Can't you just say, I agree/yes/me too/etc. ?!!
Another UO (although I don't know if it's unpopular): I think it's weird when people I don't know speculate on the gender of my child. My moms EX-husband acts like he's the authority on what gender my child will be because he happened to guess correctly with DS. Newsflash: there's a 50/50 chance you'll guess right. We will all find out in October.
@carries2018 I think that is imagination which is healthy. We watch princess movies and if she wants to play and dress up, I'm A-Ok with that.
Someone being called princess on a regular basis is just setting them up to be a spoiled brat. IMO. And it's just annoying.
Thank you! This is how I feel about this too.
TTC #1: March 2011
Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids
2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy
6 rounds of clomid
5 rounds of iui
IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide
ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS
4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls
FET 1/10/2017
Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017
FET 2/2
BFP 2/7/17
Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
I dont remember who said it, but I don't like melon either. Except watermelon.
I'm indifferent on the omg thing. I am not religious, but I try not to say it because I know it offends others. Of course, it's somewhat habitual for a lot of people in our generation. But I'm trying!
and that's all I can remember for now.
Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
TTC #1: March 2011
Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids
2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy
6 rounds of clomid
5 rounds of iui
IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide
ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS
4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls
FET 1/10/2017
Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017
FET 2/2
BFP 2/7/17
Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
The dildo comments have me dying laughing over here. I really needed a good laugh right now, so thank you @ChocolateIsLife.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
@TallMomma29 getting all deep on us up in here.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
@TallMomma29 there was a couple in Toronto that I read about a few years back who refused to identify their child as make or female. The child was given a gender neutral name and didn't tell anyone what anatomical parts the child had. The child was allowed to choose their own clothes and toys. It's was an interesting read. I should look to see if anyone has done an update on that family.
So that extra part is the ragey argument that I have in my head and keep to myself like "first of all, it's correct and second of all that doesn't make sense anyways so THERE.
I just feel like kids should be kids and not even have to be concerned about that until they're older. DD is only 3 and she already has very clear opinions about what she wants to wear and play with. If she wants to wear pink and tutus and carry around her baby doll that's fine. If she wants to play with cars and trucks and wear blue shirts, that's fine, too.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
Meh, I think when you know better you should do better. If you know that using the term gender could be hurtful to a group of people who are struggling with their identity, then it's kind of an asshole move to continue using it because it "doesn't matter to you and they mean the same thing".
But I'm pretty much in that boat when ti comes to almost every topic. Just because YOU aren't personally affected by something or it's not important to YOU, doesn't make it not important.
I heart YNAB
---------
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore