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FFFC 5/19

wyomama0427wyomama0427 member
in September 2017 Moms
Confess something good. For real our board has become the most boring board ever. 
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Re: FFFC 5/19

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    tfrangultfrangul member
    @MrsVP614 I'm with you for sure. My daughter has been making fun of me because of it! Lol I have no idea what is going on. I swear I don't remember having this problem with my other kids! Yikes!
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    iheartichiiheartichi member
    I'm going to the beach tomorrow and I'm going to drink NA beer and Coke. I wonder how many side eyes I'll get? 

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    mercury94mercury94 member
    @msashley2010-2 Ugh. That's so tough. DH's birthday was like 3 weeks after we started dating. His friend wanted to take him to dinner. Totally asked if it was cool to invite DH's ex. They dated off and on for several years. It was the most serious relationship he had before me. I tried to play it off like it wasn't a big deal, but he could tell I was uncomfortable. I'm really glad he didn't let her come with us. It's just not a fun position to be in. I definitely would not be okay with him still being friends with any of the girls he used to sleep with. It would just be too hard for me. 

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    Me 34 DH 34 
    PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
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    LynnBrown4LynnBrown4 member
    Speaking of minivans... with a second kid on the way, my husband wants to buy one. Currently, we each have our own cars. I told him to feel free to replace his own car, but no way am I driving a minivan. I love my family but treasure that 20 minute drive to work, after dropping my kid off at daycare, speeding down the highway with my music cranked up like I'm solo with no responsibilities again. A minivan would kill that feeling. Also, although I have a job with a lot of responsibility that requires me to be away a fair bit, it lets me feel like my own person again - not just a wife and mother. And I don't feel guilty about it anymore. 
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    wyomama0427wyomama0427 member
    @msashley2010-2 I love the way you put that lmao. Someone he stuck his penis in. I get mad thinking that DH ever did that with anyone else lol. The worst thing that has ever happened was when we were dating and he was working in his hometown a few hours north of where we were living. One of his exes showed up at his hotel room dressed like a skank and tried to seduce him. Even though she had just met me a few days before. Apparently DH's cousin was talking to her and gave her his hotel info and told her to go pay DH a visit because he'd be up for it. He texted the whole time she was there, he swears nothing happened and that she crawled onto the bed and he sat on the chair across the room and told her how happy he was now while she tried to get him in bed with her..... the bitch still creeps my IG and likes my stuff. If I EVER see her in person I'll proooooibably rip her throat out. I trust him but it still sketches me the eff out. He used to be the kind who would have gone for that. 

    Anyway... that was a massive overshare...
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    Breath_Easy92Breath_Easy92 member
    @bridge-and-wall and @wyomama0427
    I use to be a major party girl so i have kinda the opposite thing going.  I  My husband and I were in the same "crowd" but he always had a steady girlfriend. I know it use to bug him a little at first but occasionally he still brings it up so I think it bothers him more than I know.  We never see any of our old friends from then any more just because we cleaned up our lives and none of them ever will.  But my question for you is what's something that your SO could do to make it less of a thing? I mean I can't change the past but I want to make him feel better. 

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    mercury94mercury94 member
    @Breath_Easy92 Pretty much what @wyomama0427 said. I only slept with one other guy (my dumbass ex-husband) and I think DH is sort of jealous of that, too, since I've had a long term serious relationship before. It seems to help if we're both honest about the past whenever it comes up. It also helps that he talks about how much he regrets his past.

    I think a lot of the jealousy is really my fault. I asked him early on how many girls he'd been with. He told me that I didn't want to know and that he didn't care about any of them, but I pushed. It took a while to get that number out of my head. Plus, my previous relationship was terrible and my ex cheated a lot, so I had trust issues going in.

    DH is a different person than he used to be. He was a bartender during his getting around phase and definitely had a different lifestyle. Late nights, lots of drinking and parties when he wasn't working. He reminds me of that whenever I bring up his past and it does help.

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    Me 34 DH 34 
    PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
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    Breath_Easy92Breath_Easy92 member
    edited May 2017
    @bridge-and-wall and @wyomama0427
    that helps, thanks. I mean he definitely knows everything, I mean he was there so there's no point in either one of us pretending but I think it does help for him to hear about how it was a different time. I didn't know him well back then per se and I think we changed a lot together so it's hard to make a distinction. However we did start as a one night stand that just kept happening because I thought he was hilarious and I was an awesome beer pong partner so I mean if I wouldn't have had that phase we wouldn't be together lol. 

    PS really though between the two of us if our kid doesn't like a good party then he was probably switched at birth. 
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    msashley2010-2msashley2010-2 member
    SO and I had the numbers talk on our fourth ish date just to get it out there and while I was a little taken aback by it I appreciated his honesty. I told him that the past doesn't matter, as long as there is no one else while WE are together. I feel very good about myself because out of alllllll those other girls, I'm the one he chose to have a child with and I know I'm not just a passing fling. The biggest issue I had was that when we first got together he was still hanging out with some of his exes. I trusted him and he was always super open about the fact that the relationships were disasters and he was unhappy with them but still cared for their well being. But one particular ex he would have borderline inappropriate conversations (discussions about their past of the x rated variety) and they would exchange I love you's and he swore he meant it as if she were "family."  :/ Yeah, not buying it. Eventually I was able to get him to understand my point of view and he no longer speaks to her at all anymore. But it did take awhile for him to transition from the non-serious flings he used to have to actually being in a committed and serious relationship. He can't just shrug me off and do whatever he wants and expect to stay with me. 

    He doesnt do anything so blatantly disrespectful anymore. We still have our issues at times but nothing of the ex variety thank goodness. 
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