UO Thursday 5.18

abmommy15 · May 2017

***TW post****
Totally agree with @virginiaunicorn11
Im super over all the PC nonsense. Sure I try to be respectful to everyone and their struggles or beliefs (mothers day, holidays, religious beliefs etc) but I don't in any way understand why me wishing my mom a Happy Mothers day is insulting to those who have a different circumstance. I understand that it is a very painful day for many people for different reasons but life doesn't come with a TW and I shouldn't have to try and account for every possible situation just so I can say a public "Happy Mother's Day".
The holidays thing drives me even more insane. If I say Merry Christmas to you then I am wishing you well, if you say Happy Diwali, Hanukkah, Ramadan or any other holiday or event that you observe then I am going to take it as you wishing me well. I don't take someone saying Happy Hanukkah as them trying to push their religion on me or disrespect mine they are just wishing me their best in their way. **End TW

Basically people need to stop being so damn sensitive.

RubyRedPirate · May 2017

Unpopular opinion here that I've actually been bashed for in real life recently: Fetal movement is annoying. Yes I feel reassured when he moves, yes I already love him to pieces, but man would l be ok if not having much fetal movement were normal. I have a very physically demanding job and accidentally brush my belly on things or have to press things up against me (like restraining a pet) and he throws a fit. He wont calm down and I'll be talking to a client and have a squinty face because he's thrashing so much. Also at night when I'm EXHAUSTED and just want to sleep, he thinks its time to have a fiesta. Currently he's moving in a way thats very ticklish but nothing I can do about it. If I poke him he just pokes me back like "ha ha mom!"

In reality I know I will miss it when he's here but right now I just wish he were a little more chill.

BusyZee · May 2017

@abmommy15
I definitely don't understand the holidays part. Who cares, a wish is a wish. I think we need to learn to accept and appreciate differences.

virginiaunicorn11 · May 2017

I dislike trigger warnings, full stop. (Ducks and runs...)

manillabar · May 2017

I kind of like trigger warnings only because it lets me mentally prepare to read something horrible. I don't think everything under the sun needs a TW, because I'm sure there is someone somewhere for whom any random thing *might* be triggering but I like a heads up before reading about a tragic loss or something. Unnecessary? Probably, but I feel like it helps.

plumpous · May 2017

I don't understand who are all these people who get offended by pc stuff. People always say don't do this don't say that because someone might get offended, but who are they even talking about?
To offend someone you gotta be malicious or say something really mean. Like if I told someone their holiday was dumb and useless and no one wants to celebrate it, that would be terrible. But if I celebrate my holiday because I want to, and you do your holiday and we're all merry, that's not offensive. And in school anyone can bring their cultural symbols and have a blast. The only time we do something generic is when our company emails all the subscribers (I work for a magazine) to wish happy holidays and we don't want to clutter the design. It's just easier.

I like that people use the TW because I'm too sensitive to read them and I am thankful for the warning. I have read too many social media posts that scarred me because it pops up, you start reading and before you know it, your soul is crushed.

abmommy15 · May 2017

@virginiaunicorn11 I totally agree. I add trigger warnings because hello drama if I didn't but I think they are dumb. Life doesn't come with a TW....

nononorman · May 2017

I don't know that I have a soul to be crushed? I find myself going "oh TW this is gonna be interesting" and then half the time (or more) it isn't. Which I guess is good? Maybe I should be counting myself lucky that nothing triggers me

mslynn2012 · May 2017

Potterphile said:

I don't know that I have a soul to be crushed? I find myself going "oh TW this is gonna be interesting" and then half the time (or more) it isn't. Which I guess is good? Maybe I should be counting myself lucky that nothing triggers me

Same.

dancegurl1118 · May 2017

If anything I like the TW cause I know this is gonna be interesting.

plumpous · May 2017

Pregnancy made me emotional. I cry when I watch Frozen and Elsa won't come out to build a snowman.
I was cold and ruthless before....

WeddingNotes13 · May 2017

Savage Garden was my boy band in MS/HS!

I want to fully respect the difficulties for so many of my friends in becoming mother's. I have so many that have had long-term fertility TX, pregnancy losses, still births, difficulty finding the right person with which to parent, and lost their own mothers recently. Out of this concern, I was not comfortable acknowledging my own mom or my role as a mother on FB. Like someone said, I stuck to real life. It still felt off.

virginiaunicorn11 · May 2017

WeddingNotes13 said:

Savage Garden was my boy band in MS/HS!

I want to fully respect the difficulties for so many of my friends in becoming mother's. I have so many that have had long-term fertility TX, pregnancy losses, still births, difficulty finding the right person with which to parent, and lost their own mothers recently. Out of this concern, I was not comfortable acknowledging my own mom or my role as a mother on FB. Like someone said, I stuck to real life. It still felt off.

This is exactly what I was talking about.

Dovahkiin_99 · May 2017

I heard that a lot of cultural activities are being taken out of public schools for PC reasons. While I am sensitive to peoples' backgrounds and experiences, it bugs me that schools feel the need to make holiday's generic for the sake of not offending someone. I'm not religious, but I think that learning about others' religions and cultures should be a priority for schools rather than taking it away. It builds bridges and understanding. I want my kid to learn about Hunukkah, Christmas, Diwali, Ramadan, and other cultural activities that are important to people. This may just be the anthropologist in me, but I think it's a huge disservice to ignore these events.

manillabar · May 2017

WeddingNotes13 said:

Savage Garden was my boy band in MS/HS!

I want to fully respect the difficulties for so many of my friends in becoming mother's. I have so many that have had long-term fertility TX, pregnancy losses, still births, difficulty finding the right person with which to parent, and lost their own mothers recently. Out of this concern, I was not comfortable acknowledging my own mom or my role as a mother on FB. Like someone said, I stuck to real life. It still felt off.

See, that actually makes me sad. I understand you wanting to be sensitive of your friends' feelings, but if you were going to otherwise acknowledge your mom on FB you should still be able to. It's not like they all wanted to be your mom and instead you chose one person, and certainly acknowledging your mom is not rubbing her fertility in their faces. Only one person filled that role, and I would think they would understand you wanting to acknowledge her on this day. In fact, I would be more offended if someone told me they didn't think I should publicly acknowledge my mom. Don't they have moms too?

satsumasandlemons · May 2017

Dovahkiin_99 said:

I heard that a lot of cultural activities are being taken out of public schools for PC reasons. While I am sensitive to peoples' backgrounds and experiences, it bugs me that schools feel the need to make holiday's generic for the sake of not offending someone. I'm not religious, but I think that learning about others' religions and cultures should be a priority for schools rather than taking it away. It builds bridges and understanding. I want my kid to learn about Hunukkah, Christmas, Diwali, Ramadan, and other cultural activities that are important to people. This may just be the anthropologist in me, but I think it's a huge disservice to ignore these events.

I would be totally on board if our schools explored Hanukkah, Ramadan, Diwali, etc etc etc in addition to Christmas but even in the second biggest school district in probably the second most diverse and populous city in the US, it's an explosion of Christianity and Christmas. It's annoying to me. Also, as an agnostic atheist, maybe it's the times we live in but just really over religions in general and the people who use their religion to push their beliefs on me via legislation etc.

Dovahkiin_99 · May 2017

@satsumasandlemons Totally agree with you with religion being pushed down peoples' throats, I'm definitely against indoctrination in schools and I love the work of Madalyn Murray O'Hair taking mandatory prayer out of the classroom. I'm a staunch atheist (ex-Catholic), but in my happy perfect world I'd love to see the cultural aspects of religious holidays explored in a respectful, non-zealous, way that promotes understanding. You're right that Christianity is over-represented; whenever I cross the border into Washington State I'm always shocked by how in-your-face religion is down there. We were driving down I5 and we saw a big rig truck that said "Jesus Is LORD!" on the side. I've never seen anything like that where I live! Christianity is far more embedded in US politics than Canadian politics (we have it too, but to a much lesser extent). In my city we have a very large Indian population and the Sikh holidays are very prominent and it's really cool to see and take part in if given the opportunity. There's gotta be a happy balance somewhere.

WeddingNotes13 · May 2017

manillabar said:

WeddingNotes13 said:

Savage Garden was my boy band in MS/HS!

I want to fully respect the difficulties for so many of my friends in becoming mother's. I have so many that have had long-term fertility TX, pregnancy losses, still births, difficulty finding the right person with which to parent, and lost their own mothers recently. Out of this concern, I was not comfortable acknowledging my own mom or my role as a mother on FB. Like someone said, I stuck to real life. It still felt off.

See, that actually makes me sad. I understand you wanting to be sensitive of your friends' feelings, but if you were going to otherwise acknowledge your mom on FB you should still be able to. It's not like they all wanted to be your mom and instead you chose one person, and certainly acknowledging your mom is not rubbing her fertility in their faces. Only one person filled that role, and I would think they would understand you wanting to acknowledge her on this day. In fact, I would be more offended if someone told me they didn't think I should publicly acknowledge my mom. Don't they have moms too?

It made me sad when I realized that I felt limited because of it. Several of my friends posted about how hard it was to read all of the mother's day stuff, etc. I wouldn' t limit IRL celebrations withy family, so I initially thought limiting FB acknowledgement wasn't a big deal, but later decided it still felt a little strange. That said, I do not routinely post much of my personal life on there. We just made our FB announcement for this baby two weeks ago.

clio · May 2017

As someone who finds Mother's Day difficult for personal reasons, last week I turned off the internet and social media and spent the day in my garden. I certainly would not expect anyone to edit expressions of their happiness on my behalf. It is never a bad idea to be considerate, but I think expecting others to revolve around you is unfair, especially in circumstances when those triggers can be easily avoided.

satsumasandlemons · May 2017

@Dovahkiin_99 yep, we see eye to eye here.

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