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October 2017 Moms
buttercream_frosting
member
Breastfeeding & Pumping - Everything you want to share, know and ask
buttercream_frosting
member
All BF and related things go in this thread.
S+TM's if you have some breastfeeding stories to share, whether it be successful or unsuccessful please do so.
FTM's planning on BF/pumping or you aren't sure what to do and have questions, ask away here.
Also a gentle reminder that no judgement on formula feeding is tolerated here.
**June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**
LO#2 EDD October 18th
Re: Breastfeeding & Pumping - Everything you want to share, know and ask
**June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**
LO#2 EDD October 18th
I'm a FTM and am planning to breastfeed. I will probably need to go back to work part time around 4 or 5 weeks. Is it realistic to have a pumping supply built up by then? Also, my insurance won't approve the breast pump until one month before the due date. Has anyone had problems with getting theirs in time?
**June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**
LO#2 EDD October 18th
- One of the hardest parts was those first few days before my milk came in and DS essentially dry nursed and never seemed satisfied. He was born Monday night and my milk came I think on Friday. It seemed like a cruel joke
- @jessirh - I started pumping within the first month to build up my supply (both in the boobs and in the freezer). If you haven't quite built up a stash by the time you need to be away from LO, mix in some formula until you can stash some when you have pump while you're away. Early on I could pump enough for what I needed to leave the next day and still stash a little. Though the surplus tends to decrease over time.
BFP in September 2014, DS born June 2015.
TTC x2 months.
BFP January 2017.
@forwardnbackward Oh gosh, those days waiting for you milk to come in would've been awful!
Despite the myth with CS, my milk came flooding in (painfully!!!!) after 12 hours. So any CS mamas, do not be discouraged.
**June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**
LO#2 EDD October 18th
I had a CS and my milk took several days to come in, I was extremly lucky to be in a "baby friendly" hospital that had donor breastmilk and I was able to use that in a syringe and tube that we put into DS's mouth while he nursed. I never had a crazy good supply but after our bumpy start we exclusively breastfed and did not have to supplement.
DS weaned about a month before his 3rd birthday, the day feeding was easy to cut out but I had to sleep on the couch for a week to wean him at night because we bed share haha.
Aside from the supply issues and the typical first few weeks adjustment period we actually had a pretty easy time breastfeeding. The first three to four weeks are super challenging, teaching your baby how to nurse and getting your breasts used to nursing really is challenging. I would be lying if I didn't say that it was hard, I had a few nights where I thought I'd never get DS to latch correctly and I cried a few times which was also a mix of exhaustion and hormones.
That was a novel, I really think breastfeeding can create such a great bond and I am so grateful that I was able to have the experience with my son. I am hoping to have the same experience again, although I'd like to wean closer to 2 than 3 I was so done at that point.
My my best advice though, is to pre-express colostrum in the couple of weeks leading up to your due date and freeze it to take to the hospital with you. You can google it and there are mixed opinions about it, but it was so helpful for me. My milk came in quickly (after a CS too) and I feel like this may have helped. The biggest advantage was that I had a bit of colostrum at the ready to feed my baby from a syringe during those first sometimes stressful 24-36 hours. It helped me to relax a bit and focus on figuring out latching and positions with her knowing that even if it took us some time to work out the kinks, I was still able to nourish her.
We were in the hospital 1.5 days after she was born. Clara slept a lot and wasn't a strong nurser so we saw the lactation consultant twice while in the hospital and had to go back the next day for a weigh-in. The lactation consultant wasn't pleased with the amount of weight Clara was loosing or how often she was nursing so had us supplement with formula and a tube system (SNS). We had to get her up every 3 hours the first night home, but after that first night she started wanting to eat on her own. We had to go to another weigh-in a few days later and they still weren't happy with how my milk was (or really, wasn't) coming in. More supplementing and this time they told me to start pumping after each feeding. It was exhausting because she took an hour to nurse (she fell asleep and I had to tap her feet, her ears, pick at her to keep her awake) then it takes 20 minutes to pump so it really cut into our (MY) sleeping time.
It was really difficult (emotionally) for me to feel like I couldn't feed my baby well, but we were able to stop using the SNS system after 1 week and I only had to pump 2-3 times a day after that for about a week. It felt like forever and I wouldn't wish feeding issues on any new mom. Such a mind mess. Seriously. It's my biggest concern about having a second child.
I returned to work when she was 8 weeks old and was able to pump enough to EBF. She suddenly refused to nurse at 9 months old so I exclusively pumped until she was 13 months old and weaned.
Baby Boy due October 2017
With DD1, I was a very young mom and that alone made it tough to decide to breastfeed. I read up so much on it and besides health, cost was my biggest factor in deciding. Guys, if your body is capable , it's free!!
My mom did not BF me. DH mom did not BF him. Getting their support was a little tough too because when we did see them, they'd make comments like, " just give her a bottle already!" Or " can you just make up a bottle so I can feed her ". At that time I didn't want to do pumping of any kind. The only time she got a bottle was when she was very jaundice and needed to poop it out faster, so we supplemented wih formula for like 3 days. Guys, take advantage of he hospital BF consultant! She will help and guide you. Please let her help and don't go in expecting puppies and rainbows. It was rough. Literally. My nipples hurt, but they did not crack or bleed as some say they can do. I got mastitis once. Compete with fever, chills etc. I had to have my OB help express. After 3 really tough months it got easier. I did not give up. We made it to a year. Selfishly because I wanted my body back. We switched to whole milk then and I kept up a small supply via pumping to use in some of her meals like yogurt, pancakes etc.
With DD2 it was much easier. I didn't have much pain, and she was a champ. It felt more natural. I got mastitis with her once too. But was able to express myself and take meds. I did want to offer more bottles to her with pumped milk since I then had a toddler. I could have used DHs help. It took us trying 8 different bottles guys. 8!!! She finally was ok with tommee tippee. She got maybe 1 bottle a day around dinner time. I always nursed to sleep. Other than that, we made it to a year too. I had enough of a stash I didn't need to keep pumping or anything to use for her food.
This baby im going in with the attitude that it will be great like DD2. But also with the expectations and knowledge it could be rough again like DD1. Also we do want to offer some more pumped bottles this time because we are always on the go for dance. Like always. It will be super tough to run around a competition with a babe stuck on my boob.
Edit: words
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
I know this will totally not be popular with La Leche or consultants, etc, but I have gotten a small bottle of formula every time. Around the second night after the birth, the baby will be very hungry and your milk won't be in yet (yes, I know there's colostrum and yes, I know they say it's sufficient). When the baby just won't settle, I give them a couple of dropperfuls of the formula. Yes, I keep nursing frequently so my milk will come in quickly but I have managed to avoid that awful second night crying fit. I usually only have to do it once, maybe twice, but whew, does it help.
Another thing, know that when you breastfeed, your afterpains will HURT, especially with the more kids you have. Take your pain reliever beforehand and have your heating pad ready.
What I did not know was it could be worse with each kid. Yikes!
Eta: typos
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
Side note: if youre a working mama who is pumping at work, invest in extra parts. I cant tell you how many times i forgot parts at home. Finally bought a bunch of extra parts and always kept them in my pump bag.
i really wanted to BF i mean i read blogs and stuff! i was ready! how hard can it be!? breast is best! why wouldn't you try? i ended in a csection and milk came in fine(ish). boobs hurt. hurt real bad. i remember crying when she was crying because i couldnt even bring myself to feed her i was in so much pain. Fast forward a few days nipples healed and everything seemed to be fine. except DD kept dropping in percentile. she was gaining so i kept being told "as long as she is gaining that is the important part! as long as she has wet diapers! some kids are just tiny!" she went from 50% all the way down to 3%. we were going to weekly weight checks. it was really stressful. everyone's comments to me set me off even little one innocent ones like "look at that peanut!" after 4 months of breast milk only, i introduced formula...and abuot a month later we were formula only. below are some pictures just to show you where we were. the first pic was during BM only time, she is with her cousin 5 weeks older. yes every kid is different but look into her eyes/cheeks. it breaks my heart *I* did that to her bc i was so hellbent on doing what was right, i didnt do what was right for *her*. the other pic is just 1 month later (after formula came into the picture) everything changed...for the better, once i got over
myself.
now that is just the stats part. BFing wasn't made for everyone. seriously. in the beginning of time they had wet nurses for a reason. once i got home from the hospital and nipples healed. i was a milk machine. i knew i was going back to work, i wanted ot have a life. so i started pumping. it was feed her for an hour, get her to sleep, do a chore around the house to build back up supply, pump for 20 minutes, clean up, she would wake up and feed her. i had no time to myself. i was just producing milk all day long. i resented every part. looking back she was my only baby i had that i had no other distractions (other kids) i could have just spent all day with her soaking up time guilt free, but i didnt. i was consumed by milk production and output. i would watch as i would fill jugs with just 1 oz from both boobs sometimes. i would cry on the kitchen floor bc i split milk. i was so worn out. i got to work and being a small office i couldnt really leave my desk every 2 hours to pump for 20 min. i tried, my parents (bosses) allowed it. but i literally had too much pulling at me. and guess what? stress affects your output. supply started to dwindle. honestly, BFing is not my thing. i dont have the patience, i dont have the time, and i become obsessive.
I let so many outside factors affect me, TB being a big force. No one meant to, they thought they were being supportive. but i remember posts coming up and everyone said "don't give up" when really i was just crying for someone to say "its ok! throw in the towel"...so i guess i have made that my mission to make mothers understand...it is ok. if you want to BF, i strongly encourage you to try...more often than not i hear stories of struggles, it isnt easy but it can work for you. you can make drinking work, you can make sleeping work. there are sacrifices but it can work. but there is a line you need to watch for, are you doing what is best for your kid? are you enjoying the time you have with your baby? that time is so fleeting. whether PPD or BFing is affecting you (note BFing can aide/lead to PPD) step back and look at what changes you can make. get "breast is best" out of your head right now, bc for us...it most certainly wasn't.
with DD2 i BF at the hospital and her weight started to drop close to 10% loss "the line" so i quickly added formula. i BFed with formula for about a month before going exclusively to formula. never touched a pump. This time i am unsure, i might give it more of a go than i did with DD2. but no expectations. no stress. my main priority is enjoying my baby.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
At first it was really hard, there were times when we were both crying. So dont be afraid to give formula to help out durinng that time. My nipples were hurting bad and i had those small formula bottles and i gave them to DD so i could get a chance to get myself my back together.
I would also pump a little bit after my milk came in so that my nipples could get a break and baby had something to eat.
One thing that I really wish I would have known is that nursing shouldn't be excruciating pain those first few days/weeks (for your nipples I mean, the contractions are normal
We breastfed until she self weaned a month before her third birthday, she never had any formula. Had you told me I would nurse that long before she was born, I'd have laughed at you. I fully expected to go NO longer than 18 months if I could make it that long. By the time she turned 2 she was only nursing for naps and bedtime, by the time she was 2 1/2 it was just at bedtime. Nursing to sleep made bedtime SO SO easy. She goes to sleep on her own at 8:00 every night in her own bed now without a fight (and sleeps until at least 7 or 8 the next morning), so don't stress over nursing your baby to sleep!
The month after she weaned, she had a dental cleaning and we saw a new dentist. That is when I found out she has a pretty bad upper lip tie, which is why her latch was SO shallow and hurt so bad those first few weeks. Figures that we wouldn't find out until she weaned lol. She was born on a Friday afternoon, so the hospital's lactation consultant was off duty and we never saw one. This time I will be sure to see a lactation consultant and have this baby checked for ties as soon as possible, especially if there is any pain.
The best advice I received was:
Don't quit on a bad/hard day. The first month is by far the hardest. I promise it gets easier. I hate doing dishes, so I was glad to not be fixing bottles in the middle of the night and having to wash them!
Get the Wonder Weeks app on your phone. Babies nurse a lot more and tend to be unusually fussy during developmental leaps (basically a growth spurt for their little brains). It will give you an idea of what to expect during the leaps and when to expect them. It was always spot on with DD #1.
Drink a lot of water and nurse on demand (it seems like they demand it pretty much around the clock those first few weeks
We also side-carred our crib and it made night times sooo much easier. We didn't do it until she was about 4 months old and could latch without my help and roll over on her own. It gave her a safe sleeping surface and still allowed her to be beside me. I'll start this baby out in the crib, then will most likely sidecar when she gets a little older as well (unless she isn't like her sister and likes sleeping in her crib alone lol).
I'm glad to answer any questions as well.
@jessirh I don't have much experience pumping as I stayed home with DD and only pumped occasionally. However, I'd suggest getting some milk savers of some sort to catch leaking milk from the opposite side that baby is nursing on. I know I leaked (okay sprayed lol), a lot during those first few weeks. Sooo much was wasted that could have been saved.
As far as expressing colostrum before baby is born, not everyone leaks before baby is born. If you aren't leaking or producing before baby is born, it is no indication on your ability to breastfeed. I never leaked at all.
Edit to clarify
My only saving grace was my lactation consultant who told me from the first time I met her that I would need to supplement. She told me it was ok, and she really believed that, but it didn't stop me from feeling guilty. From being the only one at mommy group to pull out a bottle, to seeing pictures of giant freezer stashes of BM on my BMB, everything seemed to point out that I *couldn't* and it was hurtful.
Even after all of my struggles, I still believe that breast is best. But that doesn't mean that formula is bad. It's not. My son is happy and healthy and smart. What's important is that mom and baby are BOTH getting what they need. And if that means formula, so be it.
Also, does anyone know if we can share the name of Facebook groups on here? I was added to a nursing mom's group when DD1 was born and it has so many women that are well educated in breastfeeding. Lots of good info. I recommend it to everyone, because you can get any question answered without judgement.
Advice:
Research: cluster-feeding and growth spurts. These are both times baby will be attached to you 24/7 and you'll want to scream, but it's intentional and for a reason (getting milk to come in, etc). Nurse on demand - when baby wants to eat you feed them. Everything will balance out soon enough.
Research: proper latch techniques/videos. Request to meet with lactation consultants in hospitals (as many times as you can) so they can watch your latch and baby feed. They will be able to see any issues from the start and make recommendations.
Keep yourself hydrated and well-fed. You think you're hungry during pregnancy? Just wait! Those hunger pains are real during nursing and burning lots of calories sustaining two lives.
Always feed baby before you leave the house, even if it's not time yet. This made our lives easier and car rides smooth, happy baby during our errands.
If you are pumping - make sure your flanges are correct fit to nipple (see pic). I had one side smaller and had to change and it helped with output from that side. Freeze your bags laying flat, and then stack up like dominoes - freezer organization for the win!
Stock up on lanolin cream for the first few weeks of cracked/sore/bleeding nipples. Stock up a few good nursing bras and tanks. I loved the double shirt method. I always wore a cami/tank top underneath my shirts so if I had to nurse in public I would lift up my top shirt and down the tank from the top so my squishy tummy was still covered. Even with a nursing cover you still do want your tummy hanging out.
Feel free to ask any questions!
Baby Boy due October 2017
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
@canonmom413 +1 to the momma drama over BFing, exact same scenario with my mom, she FFed me from day one. Lots of resentment and the worst fight of my life with her when I needed her most.
I have a story very similar to @carries2018. When I got DD after a short nursery observation, we began to BF. We had a lot of trouble, she wouldn't really latch. My hospital did not have a lactation consultant or someone to give BFing advice. All I had was one nurse who had BF her children. When I got home, I made a call in to a LC which was an hour from my home. BFing was becoming incredibly hard, to the point that I was in the fetal position barely able to breath kind of pain. After some internet research (bookmark Kellymom.com) I decided to try the nipple shield which made all the difference in the world. DD was finally getting full and I wasn't in near as much pain. This was on like day 5. We continued with this journey for the remainder of my maternity leave (8 weeks.) I would try to pump at least once a day for daycare stash. I never really tried to wean DD off the shield although I probably should have. I later learned that it hurts your supply. DD was always so incredibly tiny, like unhealthy tiny, but the doctors ok'ed us continuing. She was gaining weight barely and had wet diapers. My mom constantly pushed me switching to FF and didn't really support our journey. So many backhanded comments about how tiny she was compared to her 2 month younger FF cousin. I know it was done all in our interest, but when I was struggling I needed support and a gentler approach to trying different options.
I went back to work and started pumping 3 times a day while at work. Before this I would get a full feeding off one 20 minute pump session. But by the end of the first week, I would get .5 oz total out of both breasts per session. When DD was drinking 4 oz per feeding, I knew this wouldn't work. I went into panic mode. I would drive home, feed her, power pump, feed her again, by this point I supplemented a bottle for bedtime very sporatically. I would feed her throughout the night with an additional 20 minute pump session in the night. We would wake up and feed her for 30 minutes before heading out the door for work. I also was pumping my body full of herbs and supplements oh and water! 100 ozs a day. Anything my friends or other BMB moms suggested that got their supply up. Nothing helped.
At the end of DD's 10th week, I decided to spend all day Saturday in bed with her feeding as another effort I had researched in trying to get my supply up. By that evening, she hadn't had a single wet diaper and when I went to change her, there was a small amount of blood. DH was away at work. It was just me. I took DD to the hospital where they told me to strictly FF her for the time. I called my mom to tell her, and she being understandably upset made the snide comment that "she wasn't going to stand by while I killed my child." I didn't speak to her for months after that. I've never had such a strained relationship with my mom and that certainly wasn't the time that I needed the additional stress. I gave her a bottle that evening and things began to get better for DD.
I went home with the intent to be an exclusive pumper. But by this point, my supply was gone. After 3 days of trying to EP, I took a picture of myself hooked up to the pumps with one hand, DD in my nursing pillow with a bottle propped up. I HATED that picture. It was so cold and so un-nurturing. If I couldn't provide milk for my baby the least I could do was hold and snuggle her while I gave her formula. I wasn't even able to do that. That was the final straw in my BFing journey. I grieved, literally like someone had died. It was so tough on me mentally. But boy did she flourish on formula and loving from her mom. Everything became so much easier from that point.
What do I plan to do different? I still plan to try and BF this baby. I will make it a point to visit a LC, I don't care if we have to drive across the country to see one. I truly regret being so stubborn on this decision. I also want to develop a plan with the LC on successfully pumping for when I do return to work. I also plan to have a long heart to heart with my mom before baby even gets here. She needs to understand what I need as far as support. Lastly, I will not put myself or my baby in harms way because of stubbornness. Like @carries2018 said there was so much positive "you've got this" "just keep going" comments from TB that I thought if I could just tough through it things will turn around. They may have been with good intention, but it's also ok to give in. Formula isn't the end of the world and you aren't the worlds worst mom for not providing a basic need for your baby.
I'm sorry this is long, I just hope my story helps someone along their journey. I am always here to talk if you do find yourself struggling.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
@ksf13 That's such a good point-- I leak like crazy on the other side and while I don't generally pump, catching that extra would be useful!
My nipples have always been super sensitive and I typically avoid them being touched (to the annoyance of my husband). Thinking about breast feeding literally makes me queasy. I am determined to make it work though, but I want to be realistic.
If I can't let anyone touch my nipples on a normal day, how can I let a baby suck on them?! Am I doomed? I know everyone says that it gets easier over time, but I can't imagine breast feeding just based on the sensitivity I feel without added hormones.
Do pumping or nipple shields reduce the sensitivity? I am so worried that I won't be able to handle the sensation.
Edit: Bump ate part of my post.
Eta bump ate post.
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
My advice on BF for everyone is to go in with a plan (I'm going to BF as long as I can / for 6 months / for a year / etc) - that way you have a goal to reach....but be flexible if that plan needs to be changed. There's so many changes going on in your life, in your body, etc., don't let BF make you or break you. I wanted to exclusively BF for 6 months but that didn't happen. I didn't beat myself up over it - make the best decisions you can for you and your LO - get the help you need but don't beat yourself up if things don't go according to plan.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
With my first, I was super young and wasn't even sure I wanted to BF. I had a negative experience with the nurses and LC in the hospital because I was so young, I felt like they were incredibly judgey and not the least bit helpful. I didn't do enough reading beforehand so I really had no idea about what to expect, etc. The first night home, my milk hadnt come in yet, she refused to latch, assumed she was just insanely hungry and I was failing her, and I was exhausted and already dealing with PPD, so I ended up giving DD formula I had on hand from samples I got in the mail. I intended to pump for her, but again, this is where my lack of research failed me because I was larger chested and had no idea that there were different size flanges for different sized nipples. Pumping hurt SO bad that it made me crack and bleed, so that only last about two days. Ended up exclusively FFing by the end of the first week. I was devastated but it was also a huge relief to know she was eating, how much and I had my body back to myself.
With DS, I still wasn't super knowledgeable about it all, but did invest in a better pump and correct size flanges for it. I thought things were going great, although that first night home, it was the same thing where he was fussy and didn't want to latch and just cried. So I gave him some formula since my milk hadn't come in yet. Then resumed BFing the next feeding. Milk came in next day and things were good again. He ended up growing super fast and it got to a point where I felt like I wasn't making enough to keep him full. I was pumping the couple of days while I worked my side job, but once I went back to my FT job, I decided to make the switch to exclusive formula. I didn't want the stress of trying to pump at work, it was already hard enough trying to get my point across when I was pregnant that I couldn't do certain things, even with a note from my OB. Plus I had PPD again, went on meds for that, along with a massive strain in my marriage and just didn't want the stress of BFing. I made it 6 weeks BFing with him and have zero regrets because I needed to take care of myself too.
With my third, I was a WAHM and she was such an easy baby that I was able to focus on BFing better and not worry about pumping out of necessity. It was a rough start though, as she lost a lot of weight the first few days and I was sure it wouldn't work out without supplementing. It was also a lot to handle with the after pains of a third baby, that I cried the first few days every time she needed to eat because I knew how bad it would hurt. She also had higher biliruben levels, so I felt a lot of stress and pressure wanting to get those counts down. But the pediatrician assured me she was still doing ok and wasn't quite to that "failure to thrive" mark yet, so we pushed on. After the first week or two, she was doing great and things went so smoothly. My only regret was not introducing pumped bottles sooner because it was really hard to get her to take one and we tried several different kinds. It finally occurred to me that she wasn't used to the faster flow of bottles, so I had to get preemie nipples and that helped a lot.
I'm sure I left out important details, but I feel like that's already a novel, so I'm happy to answer any questions