So awhile ago when we were freaking out about my genetic carrier status, MH and I both got 23 and me packages. Mine hasn't come back yet, but his just did. I'm thrilled because not only is he not a carrier for anything listed, he also doesn't have the genes to predispose him to Parkinson's or Alzheimers (both of which are in his family). AND to top it all off, hilariously, in addition to being part Native American (not a surprise) and part Japanese (huge surprise), we just learned he is a small part Ashkenazi Jewish. We have been talking a bunch of shit for years about how he's not Jewish, I'm a "bad" Jew because I'm breeding with a non Jew etc. and turns out he is a little Jewish after all. I'm dying right now. Can't wait to tell my family.
Would you mind explaining what carriers the 23 and Me test looks at? I asked my OBGYN about carrier testing and it was going to be about $300 for each of us, so we decided not to.
Me: 29 | DH: 29
Married 12/2016 DSS born 01/2016 TTC since 01/2017 Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
@vflux33 so just FYI, 23andme gets a lot of flack for being really inaccurate for those of Asian decent. If you google it you'll see some articles that are more articulate about it than I am, but basically their database is super small, so they misclassify people a lot.... :-\
@pebbledam I tried to cut and paste for you but it the way it is set up makes that hard. It's about 200 for the health testing package and there are like 30 carrier statuses. I'm now a big believer in universal genetic testing so I say go for it. ETA--Oh cool doxiemoxie got it!
@doxiemoxie212 Yeah that would make sense for the Japanese thing (he's not sure when/how that would have happened based on what he knows of the family history). For the Native American part we were told by an uncle there was some Native American in there--that part of the family has lived in the western US for many generations plus MH actually looks a bit Native American. So we think that one is probably accurate.
@vflux33 yeah I haven't read much about native american being inaccurate, it's mostly Chinese/Japanese/Korean distinctions. Probably other Asian groups, but those are usually the ones folks complain about being wrong/misrepresented.
@doxiemoxie212 We are having such a laugh about the Jewish part and so relieved about the medical stuff that right now the Japanese part hasn't even really registered yet but if that part was false it would not be a surprise.
Have you cross-referenced your 23andme with ancestry.com or another service? I'd be interested in hearing if there was a discrepancy in the results for people who used more than one service.
@lund That looks WAY more comprehensive than 23andme. @doxiemoxie212 is Promethease as comprehensive as that? We're still going to take your advice and do Promethease too, but we're waiting until we get my results.
@lund@vflux33 Promethease is like.... less user friendly but more comprehensive? Basically, it's $5, and it has a very basic platform (think reddit or craigslist, not facebook), and it lists every possible genetic thing associated with your gene, along with a link to the peer reviewed study associated with it and sort of an evaluation on how seriously you should take it. So it's more time consuming to review and takes more brain power. If J Screen does more, that's great, but do it sooner than later because in all likelihood they'll get shut down for the same reasons 23andme were. 23andme used to do EVERYTHING (ok not everything everything, who told me that, @icecubeinthedesert? but almost everything), but they got shut down because there's controversy over if people should have access to their genetic health risks without a doctor.
@vflux33 I have not, but my MIL did. Hers is a little complicated, but it was SLIGHTLY different. The basic categories were the same, but the percents changed a bit (I think ancestry.com thought she was slightly more black than 23andme?). She thought she was 100% black, but her family was part of the slave trade, so hard to say, and both basically said she's roughly 60% black, 40% white. 23andme put DH as 30% black, 70% jewish, so, it sort of fits. She doesn't have a solid family history foundation to compare anything to, though, so IDK. I will say that my mom is half Irish, half Italian (like her grandparents on both sides came from Ireland, Italy respectively), and 23andme said that almost exactly, with the exception of a bit of Balkan thrown in for fun. My dad is 100% Russian jew (his grandparents came from Russia), and it said I'm exactly 50% Ashkenazi Jew, 27% Irish, 22% Italian, and some random Balkan stuff thrown in.
@doxiemoxie212 That is super interesting about your and YH's family! Besides the outliers I already discussed, MH's came out mostly Scandinavian and English, which we know for sure those are true since he still has some family in Sweden and his/our last name is actually the name of a town in England. I will relay what you said to him and it will probably incentivize him to buy the ancestry.com thing for fun to verify or deny what 23andme said about his supposed small Japanese and Ashkenazi heritage. I can't wait to get mine back and see if it verifies what I've been told is my 100% Ashkenazi heritage.
@doxiemoxie212@vflux33 with JScreen you have to have the test order signed off by your doctor, and I just happened to already have a genetic counselor. But, they have genetic counselors on staff who explain your results to you, so hopefully that'll cut down on the risk of it getting shut down.
ETA: And, I've been super impressed by their communication and customer service so far. They're extremely communicative and on top of things.
When I have more time, I want to learn more about the privacy policies for each of these companies. I know some of the companies were under major scrutiny, as they planned to use/sell genetic data beyond the consumers. (Example: NY Times article) Plus, because the test is linked to an individual's name, there was some concern that this genetic data could be used by insurers, especially with the current uncertainty about pre-existing conditions and insurance premiums.
Me: 35 DH: 28 TTC since June 2016 Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016 AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017 Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017 October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total) Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen 12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP 2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone Abnormal SIS Oct 2018 Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis. 12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN Our journey has come to an end.
@lund@doxiemoxie212 Once it was clear to further testing wouldn't be covered by our insurance, we purposely went outside doctors. My genetic counselor is through our HMO and MH and I were a bit worried they'd use genetic predisposition info to hike up our premium--but that's probably not an issue for you, lund, since it looks like the J Screen thing is only for carrier status.
@AlohaKumu yeah, you have to sign a bunch of stuff now saying that you understand that genetic information could be treated as a preexisting condition.
@kbamomma33 So here are the three shades I picked out. They all look more blue in natural light. I thought we had settled on the middle one because it's the one that we both like. But now DH is like well it's the front runner. Ugh I'm so sick of looking at paint!
@KariAnn323 I really like the middle one too! It's a great color for a front door. I feel you on the challenge of picking out paint. We are de-wallpapering and re-painting every single room in our house. (Just moved here in Dec.) Except I'm the one that keeps changing my mind and DH is the one who is over it/ me.
Lol @doxiemoxie212 no, I'm sorry I don't... :/ I just thought he was obv hands-down the cutest of the lineup of four *carbon-copied square-jaw ken dolls. Are those really the guys? /candidates?
@BusinessWife haha no, those are guys who were in the top 10 in Jojo's season (a year ago). Chad, the guy you picked, is a raging alcoholic with a suspected steroid abuse problem and serious anger management issues. He's also pretty hilarious - when he got booted for being luny toons, he bought the domain names for half the guys so they couldn't create their own websites, etc., and he re-routed all of them to his instagram page. The dude next to him in that meme is the guy Jojo actually chose - his brother is Aaron Rogers, the football guy (though I just know him as Olivia Munn's exbf). The guy all the way on the right got really close to being chosen as the next Bachelor, like they even had a bunch of women cast for him, but at the last minute they switched and chose Nick Viall who had been at like 3 seasons prior #DRAMA. But they all look the same.
I know you were definitely 100% hoping for that detailed of a response on this topic ^^ YOU'RE WELCOME
Lol @doxiemoxie212 I'm a little amazed that that was not even a spoof lineup! But TBH, totally sounds like my type of guy ;) #stillteamgreyden #teamchad Whatever lol
**TW One of my best friends from college just posted maternity photos and it hurts. She was a mutual friend of my ex and me, but after the divorce she basically said that she didn't know how to emotionally support me and we just stopped talking. She's so beautiful and she's going to be a terrific mother. I wish I knew how to mend burned bridges. TW**
Me: 29 | DH: 29
Married 12/2016 DSS born 01/2016 TTC since 01/2017 Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
@pebbledam That sucks, I'm sorry. I don't know the details, but what she said after the divorce sounds really shitty. Is she still friends with your ex?
If you want it never hurts to reach out and congratulate her and invite her to (decaf) coffee or lunch. She may feel differently now. Honestly if it were me I'm a big believer in "sometimes a friendship has just run its course" and I no longer try that hard to resurrect an ended friendship, and probably wouldn't in this circumstance. But if it's been a while and you miss her that much you could definitely reach out.
@vflux33 - I have let go of so many friendships because of the divorce. I actually talked to this particular friend about how the divorce was affect our mutual friends and she was really honest with me about divorce being a hard subject for her. Her parents got divorced when she was an adult and she really struggled with that. I appreciated her honesty.
She was closer friends with me, but she actually met my ex before she met me. I don't think they are particularly close now. My ex said some things in FB (and who knows what IRL) that definitely made me out to be the bad guy. I am not someone that opens up easily or feels comfortable sharing emotions, so I let the hurtful and biased comments go. And no one ever bother asking me about my side, so I've also let all of these mutual "friendships" go. Sometimes I feel really alone.
ETA She lives 6.5 hours away from me.
Me: 29 | DH: 29
Married 12/2016 DSS born 01/2016 TTC since 01/2017 Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
I haven't been to a concert since college. DH was out of the concert game for a while, but last summer he went to a private concert with Justin Timberlake. Anywho, we've never been to a concert together, but we can never agree on an artist that isn't too much money.
Last night we were listening to some old jams we both love and on a whim, I looked them up. Turns around they're going to be around in August and there were still awesome seats available for cheap. Bit the bullet and bought the tickets this morning. Woot!
Me: 23 | DH: 30
Married November 2016 TTC #1 November 2016
Dx Anovulatory/NIR PCOS April 2017 50mg Clomid June 2017 BFP June, 21 2017 | EDD March 4, 2018
@pebbledam I'm sorry to hear you're lonely because of this.
I can't stand when people rewrite the narrative like that, especially on social media. I can definitely see why you chose not to respond and avoided a Facebook war, since those never end well. It sounds like the whole situation was very rough on you. I've lost a lot of friends over the years, but the ones I've kept around are the best ones and they help me to forget the friendships that imploded or faded. I hope that's the case for you too.
@Avrilmai I always do no seam cheeksters from VS or a thong. Even thinking about the crazy camel-toe I would get from going commando drives me nuts lol Not to mention how much dirtier my leggings would get much sooner
Me: 23 | DH: 30
Married November 2016 TTC #1 November 2016
Dx Anovulatory/NIR PCOS April 2017 50mg Clomid June 2017 BFP June, 21 2017 | EDD March 4, 2018
Ugh, that's hard @pebbledam and I'm sorry that you are hurting over it. I'm a firm believer in that, if someone hasn't been in my life for several years, there's usually a reason why and to just leave it alone. If mending that specific bridge is a priority to you though, I don't see the harm in reaching out. Just make sure that this person is worthy of your energy and friendship. I'm sorry that you are feeling alone because of the friends that you lost due to your Ex's sharing private stuff on Facebook. That's really an unfair situation. Hugs.
@Avrilmai I wear thongs under leggings to work out because, like @LoveInDC said, camel toe. Plus, if for some reason I split or snagged my leggings, my v would be covered.
@kbamomma33 Oh geez. I'm going to show my age and people are going to judge my music choices, but here we go: It's Dashboard Confessional with opening acts by All-American Rejects and The Maine.
Me: 23 | DH: 30
Married November 2016 TTC #1 November 2016
Dx Anovulatory/NIR PCOS April 2017 50mg Clomid June 2017 BFP June, 21 2017 | EDD March 4, 2018
Re: Weekly Randoms
Would you mind explaining what carriers the 23 and Me test looks at? I asked my OBGYN about carrier testing and it was going to be about $300 for each of us, so we decided not to.
DSS born 01/2016
TTC since 01/2017
Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
IDK why it's splitting the spoiler ugh
ARSACS
Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum with Peripheral Neuropathy
Beta Thalassemia and Related Hemoglobinopathies
Bloom Syndrome
Canavan Disease
Congenital Disorder of Glycosylation Type 1a (PMM2-CDG)
Cystic Fibrosis
D-Bifunctional Protein Deficiency
Dihydrolipoamide Dehydrogenase Deficiency
Familial Dysautonomia
Fanconi Anemia Group C
GRACILE Syndrome
Glycogen Storage Disease Type Ia
Glycogen Storage Disease Type Ib
Hereditary Fructose Intolerance
Herlitz Junctional Epidermolysis Bullosa (LAMB3-Related)
Leigh Syndrome, French Canadian Type
Limb-Girdle Muscular Dystrophy Type 2D
Limb-Girdle Muscular Dystrophy Type 2E
Limb-Girdle Muscular Dystrophy Type 2I
MCAD Deficiency
Maple Syrup Urine Disease Type 1B
Mucolipidosis Type IV
Neuronal Ceroid Lipofuscinosis (CLN5-Related)
Neuronal Ceroid Lipofuscinosis (PPT1-Related)
Niemann-Pick Disease Type A
Nijmegen Breakage Syndrome
Nonsyndromic Hearing Loss and Deafness, DFNB1 (GJB2-Related)
Pendred Syndrome and DFNB4 Hearing Loss
Phenylketonuria and Related Disorders
Primary Hyperoxaluria Type 2
Rhizomelic Chondrodysplasia Punctata Type 1
Salla Disease
Sickle Cell Anemia
Sjögren-Larsson Syndrome
Tay-Sachs Disease
Tyrosinemia Type I
Usher Syndrome Type 3A
Zellweger Syndrome Spectrum (PEX1-Related)
Autosomal Recessive Polycystic Kidney Disease
Usher Syndrome Type 1F
@doxiemoxie212 Yeah that would make sense for the Japanese thing (he's not sure when/how that would have happened based on what he knows of the family history). For the Native American part we were told by an uncle there was some Native American in there--that part of the family has lived in the western US for many generations plus MH actually looks a bit Native American. So we think that one is probably accurate.
Have you cross-referenced your 23andme with ancestry.com or another service? I'd be interested in hearing if there was a discrepancy in the results for people who used more than one service.
https://jscreen.org/genetic-conditions-tested-in-expanded-panel/
Married: 2/1/2012
TTC #1 since August 2016
DH SA Dec 2016: Low count (11.7 mil total motile), 5% morphology, 73% motility
Blood work June 2017: AMH 1.1 (ugh), FSH 8.4, LH: 5.2, estradiol 28 pg/ML, progesterone 7.4
HSG July 2017: tubes clear
BFP 7/24/17 - EDD 4/5/2018
@vflux33 I have not, but my MIL did. Hers is a little complicated, but it was SLIGHTLY different. The basic categories were the same, but the percents changed a bit (I think ancestry.com thought she was slightly more black than 23andme?). She thought she was 100% black, but her family was part of the slave trade, so hard to say, and both basically said she's roughly 60% black, 40% white. 23andme put DH as 30% black, 70% jewish, so, it sort of fits. She doesn't have a solid family history foundation to compare anything to, though, so IDK. I will say that my mom is half Irish, half Italian (like her grandparents on both sides came from Ireland, Italy respectively), and 23andme said that almost exactly, with the exception of a bit of Balkan thrown in for fun. My dad is 100% Russian jew (his grandparents came from Russia), and it said I'm exactly 50% Ashkenazi Jew, 27% Irish, 22% Italian, and some random Balkan stuff thrown in.
ETA:
And, I've been super impressed by their communication and customer service so far. They're extremely communicative and on top of things.
Married: 2/1/2012
TTC #1 since August 2016
DH SA Dec 2016: Low count (11.7 mil total motile), 5% morphology, 73% motility
Blood work June 2017: AMH 1.1 (ugh), FSH 8.4, LH: 5.2, estradiol 28 pg/ML, progesterone 7.4
HSG July 2017: tubes clear
BFP 7/24/17 - EDD 4/5/2018
TTC since June 2016
Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016
AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017
Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017
October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total)
Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen
12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP
2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN
Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone
Abnormal SIS Oct 2018
Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis.
12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN
Our journey has come to an end.
I am curious how it's going to go with Rachel. I'm nervous they're not going to handle it with the grace they should. I hope I'm wrong.
https://www.cbc.ca/comedy/funnystuff/should-you-ask-that-thirty-something-woman-when-she-s-planning-on-having-babies-1.3631144
TTC#1 10/2016
TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each.
BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021
planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
Dating: 2/2007 Married: 4/2011
TTC #1: 9/2016
*TW*
BFP #2: 3/9/2017 - CP: 3/10/2017
08/2017: DH's SA = normal
08/2017: Low progesterone (4.6) all other BW normal
11/2017: HSG Clear; Pelvic Ultrasound Normal; and AMH, FSH, and Estradiol normal
12/2017: 1,000mg Metformin
12/2017: 50mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: 100mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: RE Consult
03/2018: 5mg Letrozole + 50 units Gonal-F + 500 μg Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #3: 4/1/2018 - CP: 4/4/2018
04/2018: 5mg Letrozole + Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #4: 5/2/18
They all look more blue in natural light. I thought we had settled on the middle one because it's the one that we both like. But now DH is like well it's the front runner. Ugh I'm so sick of looking at paint!
Dating: 2/2007 Married: 4/2011
TTC #1: 9/2016
*TW*
BFP #2: 3/9/2017 - CP: 3/10/2017
08/2017: DH's SA = normal
08/2017: Low progesterone (4.6) all other BW normal
11/2017: HSG Clear; Pelvic Ultrasound Normal; and AMH, FSH, and Estradiol normal
12/2017: 1,000mg Metformin
12/2017: 50mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: 100mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: RE Consult
03/2018: 5mg Letrozole + 50 units Gonal-F + 500 μg Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #3: 4/1/2018 - CP: 4/4/2018
04/2018: 5mg Letrozole + Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #4: 5/2/18
I know you were definitely 100% hoping for that detailed of a response on this topic ^^ YOU'RE WELCOME
Married: 2/1/2012
TTC #1 since August 2016
DH SA Dec 2016: Low count (11.7 mil total motile), 5% morphology, 73% motility
Blood work June 2017: AMH 1.1 (ugh), FSH 8.4, LH: 5.2, estradiol 28 pg/ML, progesterone 7.4
HSG July 2017: tubes clear
BFP 7/24/17 - EDD 4/5/2018
DSS born 01/2016
TTC since 01/2017
Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
If you want it never hurts to reach out and congratulate her and invite her to (decaf) coffee or lunch. She may feel differently now. Honestly if it were me I'm a big believer in "sometimes a friendship has just run its course" and I no longer try that hard to resurrect an ended friendship, and probably wouldn't in this circumstance. But if it's been a while and you miss her that much you could definitely reach out.
She was closer friends with me, but she actually met my ex before she met me. I don't think they are particularly close now. My ex said some things in FB (and who knows what IRL) that definitely made me out to be the bad guy. I am not someone that opens up easily or feels comfortable sharing emotions, so I let the hurtful and biased comments go. And no one ever bother asking me about my side, so I've also let all of these mutual "friendships" go. Sometimes I feel really alone.
ETA She lives 6.5 hours away from me.
DSS born 01/2016
TTC since 01/2017
Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
I haven't been to a concert since college. DH was out of the concert game for a while, but last summer he went to a private concert with Justin Timberlake. Anywho, we've never been to a concert together, but we can never agree on an artist that isn't too much money.
Last night we were listening to some old jams we both love and on a whim, I looked them up. Turns around they're going to be around in August and there were still awesome seats available for cheap. Bit the bullet and bought the tickets this morning. Woot!
TTC #1 November 2016
50mg Clomid June 2017
BFP June, 21 2017 | EDD March 4, 2018
I can't stand when people rewrite the narrative like that, especially on social media. I can definitely see why you chose not to respond and avoided a Facebook war, since those never end well. It sounds like the whole situation was very rough on you. I've lost a lot of friends over the years, but the ones I've kept around are the best ones and they help me to forget the friendships that imploded or faded. I hope that's the case for you too.
for you ladies that wear leggings to work out, panties or no panties underneath? I keeping getting conflicting info, I mean, asking for a friend...
TTC#1 10/2016
TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each.
BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021
planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
TTC #1 November 2016
50mg Clomid June 2017
BFP June, 21 2017 | EDD March 4, 2018
@LoveInDC fun! What concert is it?
@Avrilmai I wear thongs under leggings to work out because, like @LoveInDC said, camel toe. Plus, if for some reason I split or snagged my leggings, my v would be covered.
TTC #1 November 2016
50mg Clomid June 2017
BFP June, 21 2017 | EDD March 4, 2018