Every weekend we do a bootcamp style HIIT class at our gym, but our instructor is out of town, so the class isn't meeting. So we're trying a Tabata class later today which should make it roughly impossible to walk for a few days.
Tomorrow we're taking DH's mom to try an Impossible Burger! Which I'm really excited about. I'm trying to figure out how we can work Egg Slut into the mix, but... there's only so much food one can eat.
MH just finished his master's degree, and today is his commencement. Today is also the day the that my best friend's boyfriend is going to propose to her, so I'm super excited! I think my "healthy habit" of two glasses of wine per week is going out the window for this weekend...
So, just got back from the gym. Drenched in sweat. Did not care, crawled immediately into bed (I know, gross, but IDGAF), and DH went to shower. He comes out, looks at me judgingly, and says, "Are you going to wash your body before the sexy time?" I said I wasn't really planning on it. He said I should reconsider. So, I guess I'm going to shower. Delicate snowflake of a man I married, I swear. A girl goes 3 days and several gym classes without showering and suddenly it's all, oOoOo you smell, you should shower.
ALSO I would just like to add that my computer wants to correct "judgingly" to "judgtngly" - like, I get that the former might not be a word, but the latter DEFINITELY IS NOT.
I have an important and time-sensitive work project that I need to do, like, yesterday. Here is a list of things I'm doing instead: 1) baking cookies 2) doing a clutter clean-up 3) planning vacations that I probably won't take 4) thinking about going rock climbing 5) letting a wave of Impending Doom wash over me as I fret about this project that I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED 6) Bumping
Lets see, rather than all the work stuff I am behind on, I am... 1) still in pajamas 2) browsing new pajamas online 3) buying a new work wordrobe online [ETA trying to decide if I should really just get maternity jammies/nursing tops...?] 4) looking for my other two *nude bras 5) having black coffee and york patties 6) watching once upon a time 7) bumping
I think you win tho cos at least making cookies is totally productive. @msmeeseeks
@BusinessWife - I have misled you about the status of the cookies I am baking. What I have done so far is look up a recipe, and set the butter on the counter to soften. I realize now that I have to leave my house in like 2.5 hours, so this is probably going nowhere. Also, I'm still in my pajamas. Drinking black coffee that is now cold. I would turn on the TV, but I can't. The remote is too far away and there is a cat on me.
Andplusalso, Saturday Confession: I have never purchased a set of pajamas. Because my mom gives me and my sister pajamas every year for Christmas. Matching sets in fact, always Christmas-themed. I think I have ten years worth of Christmas pajamas in my possession, and sometimes when my sis and I are together we match our pajamas and pretend we're twins even though we are seven years apart and in our 30s.
Now, see, I would totally be being productive right now, but my cat decided to take a nap on my lap and he looks REALLY comfy. So obviously I have no choice but to play on my phone and watch Netflix. Too bad!
Okay so see, I have also misled you about the status of my actually watching a show... @msmeeseeks bc I turned it on, got it past the opening commercial, and immefiately hit pause - Remembering I really am going to wish I had those bras in a week or two.... so can't actually relax, must go upstairs to look.
Okay, bras not in either of the two random gym bags I thought they might be in... coffee is definitely cold.
Also, mad at myself over the pjs. Christmas is totes when you buy pjs. Everybody knows that. #facts But I made the mistake of getting flannel ones from kohls at Xmas time bc no stretch. :/ Spoiler alert: They were already wearing thin by like, February, and one did fully split. Total bummer. So I feel like I need XL jersey pants and new tees bc sweartagosh, I am still sleeping in my favourite jcrew tshirts from the 90s and one has semi-recently sprung all these holes everywhere... :'( your mom totally has the right idea tho. Bc pjs are such a waste of money any orher time of year, imho - no one's ever going to see them, and I don't really care what they look like.... so long as they are so cozy it feels like I have nothing on. :/ is that too much to ask?
Also, leaving the house ever. That's the fatal error I see in your plans here... I am thinking as long as I play around in the closet enough to decide what I'm wearing tomorrow, I think I should be okay tho. o:)
For years my MIL bought me cartoon themes pajamas every Christmas until one year (prior to TTC) I made a joke, "So you never want to be a Grandma then?" which everyone except for her thought was hilarious (because she is the type of mom who told her kids sex was only for babies, etc.). Then the next year at this big family Christmas event that had a lot of our friends at it too, she says she has to take me somewhere private to give me my gift, and I'm thinking "God, no, please let it not be. I do not want lingerie from my MIL," and in front of everyone we go into this closet for me to look at the gift. And it's a green and white polka dot "nighty" dress, which my MIL *thought* was lingerie but totally wasn't sexy at all. I felt bad, but MH and others totally made fun of her and then later he made me donate the dress to Goodwill.
@vflux33 - Oh God, I'm cringing at your MIL pajama story. That's so awkward!
@sunniegrly - That sounds like a nightmare. I would tell everyone that I'm not feeling well and skip it. I'm glad YH is supportive of that as an option. I don't think I could be appropriately happy in that situation either! *HUGS*
@sunniegrly oh dear. I'm so sorry. That is tough. That's the one thing I have been [sort of] consoling myself with DHs cousin's first kid born last year - they were married before us, AND younger? so of course they have kids before us? Maybe? :/ But idk it doesn't really help when it's about to be their kid's birthday the same day DH is going in for an actual sperm retrieval procedure... yuck. (((big hugs))) ❤❤❤
@sunniegrly Yea that's lame. Like I get that when you have good news to share that you don't want to wait to share it just to wait to share it. But can you also let other people have their own celebrations? It's not ALL about YOU (them) ALWAYS, so you can't find a better time to announce your BFP that doesn't take away from someone else's celebration? Selfish!
@sunniegrly, oh, no, that does sound hard to take, especially on Mother's Day. I'm glad YH is being supportive of you skipping it if you need to and that your mother was sensitive enough to give you warning so you could have privacy for your initial reaction either way. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself!
@Cricket648 - Congrats to YH and your BFF! Enjoy the wine! @Augusta108 - Cancel all your plans! You are dooooomed. @vflux33 - hahahahhahahahaha @sunniegrly - *hugs* I'm glad you got the head's up. I hope there are mimosas at the lunch (if you do go).
Me: 29 | DH: 29
Married 12/2016 DSS born 01/2016 TTC since 01/2017 Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
So, no one is at work that would appreciate this, so all you Bumpies get to hear this:
I AM AN EXCEL WIZARD!
At work I have this sheet where I track office supplies and costs (so that we stay within budget). It has costs from 3 different stores so that I can price check and find the best deals. Well I just turned the "order list" portion into drop down lists that, when you select the product and the store, it automatically populates the price per item and the total item cost (instead of manually typing in all of this). WIZARD.
@sunniegrly That SUCKS. I agree with JennyColada about the taking away other people's celebrations too. It's like the equivalent of announcing your engagement at someone else's wedding. Not cool. If YH is serious about skipping it, I would. You're just really not feeling well and you don't want anyone to catch it. Spare yourself.
@sunniegrly devils advocate here...if they were trying back in the fall and are now pregnant, it's entirely possible they struggled to get pregnant. You just don't know right? I'm trying to understand your angst about this and struggling to. Please help me, i mean that in the nicest way possible.
@sunniegrly I'm going to throw this out there on the off chance that a different perspective helps. If it doesn't, it doesn't, so please ignore. But perspective helps me sometimes, so I say this with intended kindness, and I hope it's received as such.
So, personally, my philosophy re: babies is closer to something like, the more the merrier. I want everyone around me to have a baby! For a few reasons. 1) The more babies, the better the village. I want my friends (I don't have any cousins or siblings so family members having kids is not a thing for me) to have babies so I have people IRL to talk about babies with! I hope everyone I know gets pregnant. I hope they learn things they can teach me. 2) I don't think there are finite number of babies in the universe. In fact, I believe the opposite. I think babies attract more babies. I think the more babies I surround myself with, the more likely the universe will send additional babies my way, ideally to my uterus. 3) I think babies are DOPE. They are snuggly little poop monsters, and I think they're adorable. If God forbid I cannot have babies of my own, I am counting on every woman around me to fill my life with their infants.
But I get it. I know emotions aren't always rational. They can be super all consuming and sucky AF (quick aside: it's consistently confusing for me that we use AF to mean aunt flow here). So, good vibes your way if the above was unhelpful. I hope you feel better #derpderp
@heatherdubrow - I'm sorry if I reacted too emotionally to your post. As I've mentioned several times before, I do have some emotional problems. Sometimes I have more emotions about something than the situation warrants - in this case, I had too many emotions about your post, and I'm having too many emotions about my SIL. I'm assuming you've seen my posts about those emotional problems since you're a regular around here. While other people have connected and commiserated with me or given me advice, I felt as if your post basically dismissed my feelings as unimportant because those are not the feelings you would have in this particular situation. If that was not your intention, then I apologize.
Thank you to everyone who listened to my feelings with the ears of friends.
@sunniegrly I didn't start getting weird feelings about other people's announcements until I approached 9 or 10 months TTC (I think?) But I don't think it's uncommon or wrong to feel jealous earlier than that. @heatherdubrow brought up a really good point that you never really know what other people went through to get somewhere and I'm totes on board with that. There is a stigma and she may not have shared her trouble TTC with you if you're not close. That said, if you think it's likely you're going to get upset at an announcement during a family event, I don't see any harm in skipping it. You won't be doing anyone any favors by going. In fact, if you go and you're feeling negative about it, even quietly, chances are someone will pick up on that and it could end up tainting the experience for the people who are excited about it as well as making you feel shitty. So I say, keep in mind you never know what others are going through if the announcement happens and allow that uncertainty to keep your resentment in check, BUT for sure skip that shit and go eat your ice cream.
@sunniegrly I mean this with genuine kindness, I think some perspective would be a good thing for you. I do think you are really stressing hard and it's really early in this process for you. I'm sorry for your emotional problems, I truly am and feel for you on that. I've been through a lot with my IF, and have had a lot of friends and loved ones become pregnant while I was doing treatments and Ivf. So I understand feeling jealous. I just feel like you're going so hard right now and it's been 2 cycles for you. 2. You're going to burn out. And I mean all of that with empathy.
@sunniegrly@heatherdubrow I'm going to jump in with my two cents, make of it what you will. You both bring up good points. Obviously everyone's journey is different, but for me at least pregnancy announcements when I had been trying for 2 months were much harder than they are now at 9 months. When I started TTC I was convinced that I would get KU and I would get KU fast. After all my mom had gotten KU with me the first month they had tried why wouldn't I be the same? As time has gone on I've come to accept that I am not my mom. The announcements have become easier to hear and my new nephew (who was a surprise) easier to see.
I will say @sunniegrly while I hope your stay here is short, please know that it is not a guarantee. As someone with an anxiety disorder I understand that emotions are difficult and irrational. I cannot say enough how important self care is during this process.
In other news cross your fingers for me ladies. I'm trying to make creme brulee for dessert for tomorrow.
*TW* I hope this doesn't rub anyone the wrong way, but I just wanted to thank all the TTGP'ers here who already have kids and are TFAS (or 3rd or whatever). Every single one of you on here is super careful about not mentioning your parenting stuff too much and not rubbing it in the faces of us hoping to be FTMs. In fact, you guys are so quiet about that stuff that sometimes I have to remind myself some of you even have any, and I know that must take effort on your part since he/she/they is/are such a huge part of your lives. Your tact doesn't go unnoticed. Just because today is shitty for a lot of us, doesn't mean you don't have the right to privately (or publicly IRL) bask in it and enjoy yourselves guilt-free, and I really hope you guys do. Happy Mother's Day
*TW* I hope this doesn't rub anyone the wrong way, but I just wanted to thank all the TTGP'ers here who already have kids and are TFAS (or 3rd or whatever). Every single one of you on here is super careful about not mentioning your parenting stuff too much and not rubbing it in the faces of us hoping to be FTMs. In fact, you guys are so quiet about that stuff that sometimes I have to remind myself some of you even have any, and I know that must take effort on your part since he/she/they is/are such a huge part of your lives. Your tact doesn't go unnoticed. Just because today is shitty for a lot of us, doesn't mean you don't have the right to privately (or publicly IRL) bask in it and enjoy yourselves guilt-free, and I really hope you guys do. Happy Mother's Day
Re: Weekend Randoms
Tomorrow we're taking DH's mom to try an Impossible Burger! Which I'm really excited about. I'm trying to figure out how we can work Egg Slut into the mix, but... there's only so much food one can eat.
Eta gif fix
DSS born 01/2016
TTC since 01/2017
Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
Married: 10/2013
TTC #1 Since: 02/2017
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/4n/m4cezb8f1f3k.gif" alt="">
I'm working today, then...? Tomorrow we are taking my ILs to brunch.
For Chart Stalking, Click Here!
ALSO I would just like to add that my computer wants to correct "judgingly" to "judgtngly" - like, I get that the former might not be a word, but the latter DEFINITELY IS NOT.
For Chart Stalking, Click Here!
1) baking cookies
2) doing a clutter clean-up
3) planning vacations that I probably won't take
4) thinking about going rock climbing
5) letting a wave of Impending Doom wash over me as I fret about this project that I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED
6) Bumping
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/iy/r87vyqte627e.gif" alt="">
1) still in pajamas
2) browsing new pajamas online
3) buying a new work wordrobe online
[ETA trying to decide if I should really just get maternity jammies/nursing tops...?]
4) looking for my other two *nude bras
5) having black coffee and york patties
6) watching once upon a time
7) bumping
I think you win tho cos at least making cookies is totally productive. @msmeeseeks
Andplusalso, Saturday Confession: I have never purchased a set of pajamas. Because my mom gives me and my sister pajamas every year for Christmas. Matching sets in fact, always Christmas-themed. I think I have ten years worth of Christmas pajamas in my possession, and sometimes when my sis and I are together we match our pajamas and pretend we're twins even though we are seven years apart and in our 30s.
Okay, bras not in either of the two random gym bags I thought they might be in... coffee is definitely cold.
Also, mad at myself over the pjs. Christmas is totes when you buy pjs. Everybody knows that. #facts But I made the mistake of getting flannel ones from kohls at Xmas time bc no stretch. :/ Spoiler alert: They were already wearing thin by like, February, and one did fully split. Total bummer. So I feel like I need XL jersey pants and new tees bc sweartagosh, I am still sleeping in my favourite jcrew tshirts from the 90s and one has semi-recently sprung all these holes everywhere... :'( your mom totally has the right idea tho. Bc pjs are such a waste of money any orher time of year, imho - no one's ever going to see them, and I don't really care what they look like.... so long as they are so cozy it feels like I have nothing on. :/ is that too much to ask?
Also, leaving the house ever. That's the fatal error I see in your plans here... I am thinking as long as I play around in the closet enough to decide what I'm wearing tomorrow, I think I should be okay tho. o:)
So we don't do pajamas on Christmas anymore.
Married: 2013
TTC #1: 2/2017
Dx: mild/borderline NIR PCOS
May TTGP Siggy Challenge - Awkward Prom Photos:
@sunniegrly - That sounds like a nightmare. I would tell everyone that I'm not feeling well and skip it. I'm glad YH is supportive of that as an option. I don't think I could be appropriately happy in that situation either! *HUGS*
@sunniegrly oh dear. I'm so sorry. That is tough. That's the one thing I have been [sort of] consoling myself with DHs cousin's first kid born last year - they were married before us, AND younger? so of course they have kids before us? Maybe? :/ But idk it doesn't really help when it's about to be their kid's birthday the same day DH is going in for an actual sperm retrieval procedure... yuck. (((big hugs))) ❤❤❤
Married: 2013
TTC #1: 2/2017
Dx: mild/borderline NIR PCOS
May TTGP Siggy Challenge - Awkward Prom Photos:
@sunniegrly Yea that's lame. Like I get that when you have good news to share that you don't want to wait to share it just to wait to share it. But can you also let other people have their own celebrations? It's not ALL about YOU (them) ALWAYS, so you can't find a better time to announce your BFP that doesn't take away from someone else's celebration? Selfish!
For Chart Stalking, Click Here!
@Augusta108 - Cancel all your plans! You are dooooomed.
@vflux33 - hahahahhahahahaha
@sunniegrly - *hugs* I'm glad you got the head's up. I hope there are mimosas at the lunch (if you do go).
DSS born 01/2016
TTC since 01/2017
Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
I AM AN EXCEL WIZARD!
At work I have this sheet where I track office supplies and costs (so that we stay within budget). It has costs from 3 different stores so that I can price check and find the best deals. Well I just turned the "order list" portion into drop down lists that, when you select the product and the store, it automatically populates the price per item and the total item cost (instead of manually typing in all of this). WIZARD.
For Chart Stalking, Click Here!
Married: 2013
TTC #1: 2/2017
Dx: mild/borderline NIR PCOS
May TTGP Siggy Challenge - Awkward Prom Photos:
@sunniegrly That SUCKS. I agree with JennyColada about the taking away other people's celebrations too. It's like the equivalent of announcing your engagement at someone else's wedding. Not cool. If YH is serious about skipping it, I would. You're just really not feeling well and you don't want anyone to catch it. Spare yourself.
Married: 2013
TTC #1: 2/2017
Dx: mild/borderline NIR PCOS
May TTGP Siggy Challenge - Awkward Prom Photos:
Married: 2013
TTC #1: 2/2017
Dx: mild/borderline NIR PCOS
May TTGP Siggy Challenge - Awkward Prom Photos:
So, personally, my philosophy re: babies is closer to something like, the more the merrier. I want everyone around me to have a baby! For a few reasons. 1) The more babies, the better the village. I want my friends (I don't have any cousins or siblings so family members having kids is not a thing for me) to have babies so I have people IRL to talk about babies with! I hope everyone I know gets pregnant. I hope they learn things they can teach me. 2) I don't think there are finite number of babies in the universe. In fact, I believe the opposite. I think babies attract more babies. I think the more babies I surround myself with, the more likely the universe will send additional babies my way, ideally to my uterus. 3) I think babies are DOPE. They are snuggly little poop monsters, and I think they're adorable. If God forbid I cannot have babies of my own, I am counting on every woman around me to fill my life with their infants.
But I get it. I know emotions aren't always rational. They can be super all consuming and sucky AF (quick aside: it's consistently confusing for me that we use AF to mean aunt flow here). So, good vibes your way if the above was unhelpful. I hope you feel better #derpderp
Mother's Day brunch tomorrow with the fam. Wooo.
But as for right this moment?? Lurking the good lurk on all the new stuff and catching up.
Edited- i still can't spell
Me: 31 / DH: 37
Married: November 2015
TTC #1 Since March 2014
MC: New Years Eve 2014
Mommy to 4 furbabies
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3f14a1
Thank you to everyone who listened to my feelings with the ears of friends.
Married: 2013
TTC #1: 2/2017
Dx: mild/borderline NIR PCOS
May TTGP Siggy Challenge - Awkward Prom Photos:
I've been through a lot with my IF, and have had a lot of friends and loved ones become pregnant while I was doing treatments and Ivf. So I understand feeling jealous. I just feel like you're going so hard right now and it's been 2 cycles for you. 2. You're going to burn out. And I mean all of that with empathy.
I will say @sunniegrly while I hope your stay here is short, please know that it is not a guarantee. As someone with an anxiety disorder I understand that emotions are difficult and irrational. I cannot say enough how important self care is during this process.
In other news cross your fingers for me ladies. I'm trying to make creme brulee for dessert for tomorrow.
Dating: 2/2007 Married: 4/2011
TTC #1: 9/2016
*TW*
BFP #2: 3/9/2017 - CP: 3/10/2017
08/2017: DH's SA = normal
08/2017: Low progesterone (4.6) all other BW normal
11/2017: HSG Clear; Pelvic Ultrasound Normal; and AMH, FSH, and Estradiol normal
12/2017: 1,000mg Metformin
12/2017: 50mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: 100mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: RE Consult
03/2018: 5mg Letrozole + 50 units Gonal-F + 500 μg Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #3: 4/1/2018 - CP: 4/4/2018
04/2018: 5mg Letrozole + Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #4: 5/2/18
I hope this doesn't rub anyone the wrong way, but I just wanted to thank all the TTGP'ers here who already have kids and are TFAS (or 3rd or whatever). Every single one of you on here is super careful about not mentioning your parenting stuff too much and not rubbing it in the faces of us hoping to be FTMs. In fact, you guys are so quiet about that stuff that sometimes I have to remind myself some of you even have any, and I know that must take effort on your part since he/she/they is/are such a huge part of your lives. Your tact doesn't go unnoticed. Just because today is shitty for a lot of us, doesn't mean you don't have the right to privately (or publicly IRL) bask in it and enjoy yourselves guilt-free, and I really hope you guys do. Happy Mother's Day
This times 100. I can't say it enough.
Dating: 2/2007 Married: 4/2011
TTC #1: 9/2016
*TW*
BFP #2: 3/9/2017 - CP: 3/10/2017
08/2017: DH's SA = normal
08/2017: Low progesterone (4.6) all other BW normal
11/2017: HSG Clear; Pelvic Ultrasound Normal; and AMH, FSH, and Estradiol normal
12/2017: 1,000mg Metformin
12/2017: 50mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: 100mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: RE Consult
03/2018: 5mg Letrozole + 50 units Gonal-F + 500 μg Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #3: 4/1/2018 - CP: 4/4/2018
04/2018: 5mg Letrozole + Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #4: 5/2/18