@jrn6510 Ive been asked several times about my son and if he is or isn't cric'd I think it comes up in conversation a lot more now because there was a pretty big and quick shift from it being " just what people do" to people really questioning why its a "thing" here in in North America when it isnt a "thing" almost anywhere else.
I actually dont mind the question much depending on how its asked- Yes its a personal question but I think people are asking because they are still trying to figure out whats the best choice to make and what brought me to my decision. I have no problem having a respectful conversation about it.
@jrn6510 To go off what @Souptin said, I find that most often the people who ask me are people who I know pretty well. It's not like some stranger in the grocery is asking. And it's not like they are saying hurtful things like "you genitally mutilated your son" or "you must not care that your son is going to be bullied in the locker room for looking different." Most people just ask if he is circumcised and how we came to our conclusion because for them there's genuinely not an obvious answer. I'm happy to talk about it if they ask, but I'm not going to go around advertising what my kid's junk looks like.
**TW**
Me & DH: 32 Married 2013 Kiddo #1: Sept 2015 BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30
"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
Now I'm questioning if I should actually circumcise my son, lol! We always just assumed we would, and that it's just what you do. After reading this, I went down the Google rabbit hole, took my husband with me and now we are totally confused on what the right decision is! Ah!
My UO is that I actually really like my co-workers. Like, people in general suck, but all of co-workers have been there the whole time we were trying to get pregnant and were all overjoyed when we found out. My supervisor burst into tears she was so happy. They all keep bringing me things for the baby and checking in about how things are going in a not irritating way. They get more excited about baby news and ultrasounds than half my regular friends. And I do mean literally everyone in my office...there are only 13 of us so it's not huge but it's great to have such a supportive environment and knowing that I will have that when I go back to work too.
@stephy_p I'm right there with you. I always assumed that we would do it until there was actually a baby boy to worry about. It's actually a very tough decision for us.
Now I'm questioning if I should actually circumcise my son, lol! We always just assumed we would, and that it's just what you do. After reading this, I went down the Google rabbit hole, took my husband with me and now we are totally confused on what the right decision is! Ah!
That rabbit hole is realllllllll.
It's a decision I'm struggling with. My knee-jerk reaction is never to do something just because "everyone does it." And it's on the decline, even from a decade ago.
If we circumcise, it's a decision about HIS body that he had no part in making, and it's a decision he can never undo. That's where my major hang up is for doing it. But I've also heard a slew of awful stories about it needing to be done later in life (ranging from a few years old to full grown man) for medically necessary reasons, and then those boys/men remembered the pain and the process (as opposed to as an infant).
Ultimately whatever we decide, we need to be able to explain to our son if he asks us why when he's an adult, and given the thought we've put into it, I am comfortable that we will be able to.
I thought long and hard about it with DS 1 almost 5 years ago. I agree with the sentiment that I didn't want to do it "just because everyone else does". It's not common practice in most other countries, and that made me questions it more.
I talked with lots of pediatricians, (I work in the medical field). Nearly all said they circed their boys and generally recommended did, but were totally supportive of not doing it. I finally decided to circ him. I also thought about cultural norms- maybe that's not a good enough reason for some, but it was part of the decision.
Then came DS 2. He was born with fluid on his kidney and he's had 3 surgeries to fix the obstruction. Our urologist was adamant that he get circed. A kidney infection could be deadly. Medical necessity is an obvious reason to circ, but it did give me the opportunity to discus it with a pediatric urologist. He 100% supports circs at birth. Circs later in life, even at age 1, are not as easy. We have boy 3 on the way and he said with out a doubt to circ.
My UO is that I actually really like my co-workers. Like, people in general suck, but all of co-workers have been there the whole time we were trying to get pregnant and were all overjoyed when we found out. My supervisor burst into tears she was so happy. They all keep bringing me things for the baby and checking in about how things are going in a not irritating way. They get more excited about baby news and ultrasounds than half my regular friends. And I do mean literally everyone in my office...there are only 13 of us so it's not huge but it's great to have such a supportive environment and knowing that I will have that when I go back to work too.
I really like my co-workers too! Up until a year and half ago I worked in a small organization where my boss and her boss (the deputy and executive directors) were horrible mean people who only cared about themselves and made everyone else's lives miserable. As a result, everyone at the office kind of had an "every man for himself" attitude and didn't really support each other that much. My boss would treat things like pregnancies and medical problems as a nuisance to her. I could not be happier that now that I'm pregnant and having a somewhat challenging pregnancy (as of this week I have to work at home full time due to short cervix and bleeding from low placenta), I am in a working environment that is amazingly supportive. My boss was genuinely happy for me when I told him I was pregnant and has been really great as I've had to deal with complications. My staff and co-workers are really kind and supportive people and have been great about offering advice (in a non-annoying way), giving me hand-me-downs, and just being there for me when things have been hard.
Re: UO Thursday 5/11
I actually dont mind the question much depending on how its asked- Yes its a personal question but I think people are asking because they are still trying to figure out whats the best choice to make and what brought me to my decision. I have no problem having a respectful conversation about it.
Married 2013
Kiddo #1: Sept 2015
BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30
"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
Me: 34 | DH: 31
Married: Nov. 7, 2015
TTC Since: February, 2016
BFP: December 20, 2016
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
I thought long and hard about it with DS 1 almost 5 years ago. I agree with the sentiment that I didn't want to do it "just because everyone else does". It's not common practice in most other countries, and that made me questions it more.
I talked with lots of pediatricians, (I work in the medical field). Nearly all said they circed their boys and generally recommended did, but were totally supportive of not doing it. I finally decided to circ him. I also thought about cultural norms- maybe that's not a good enough reason for some, but it was part of the decision.
Then came DS 2. He was born with fluid on his kidney and he's had 3 surgeries to fix the obstruction. Our urologist was adamant that he get circed. A kidney infection could be deadly. Medical necessity is an obvious reason to circ, but it did give me the opportunity to discus it with a pediatric urologist. He 100% supports circs at birth. Circs later in life, even at age 1, are not as easy. We have boy 3 on the way and he said with out a doubt to circ.
Me: 35 | DH: 38
Met: 2007
Married: 2013
BFP #1: 06/21/16 MMC: 08/04/16
BFP #2: 01/08/17 DD: 09/23/17
BFP #3: 06/10/20 EDD: 02/11/2021