Where is the sign/advertisement for The Bump BMBs?!?!
That is the only explanation for the insane amount of randoms we are getting...
Probably the Facebook group...
Maybe if we change the name of the "FB Group" thread, or let it fall off the first page here, this won't happen as often? That being said, I'm totally happy for a new person to join and actively participate, but I wish they would read the giant READ THIS FIRST thread first, or intro in the very specific and obvious Intro thread that we already have going...
I was just thinking the other day what a waste of space the READ THIS FIRST thread is taking up on top when none of us regulars need it anymore. Now I guess it'll have to stay. Hi @Makoah
Wow. A little kindness goes a long way. Please remember this group belongs to everyone and anyone. It doesn't matter if they joined day 1 or month 8, or if they post every day or "lurk" when relaxing at the end of the day. There also aren't any real "rules", just loose guidelines. You don't have to read or respond to every post. Not everyone is trying to be your friend. Being snarky doesn't always make you cool, either. There's a fine line and not everyone can pull it off with grace.
Best of luck for safe and happy births. **app deleted**
Wow. A little kindness goes a long way. Please remember this group belongs to everyone and anyone. It doesn't matter if they joined day 1 or month 8, or if they post every day or "lurk" when relaxing at the end of the day. There also aren't any real "rules", just loose guidelines. You don't have to read or respond to every post. Not everyone is trying to be your friend. Being snarky doesn't always make you cool, either. There's a fine line and not everyone can pull it off with grace.
Best of luck for safe and happy births. **app deleted**
Wow. A little kindness goes a long way. Please remember this group belongs to everyone and anyone. It doesn't matter if they joined day 1 or month 8, or if they post every day or "lurk" when relaxing at the end of the day. There also aren't any real "rules", just loose guidelines. You don't have to read or respond to every post. Not everyone is trying to be your friend. Being snarky doesn't always make you cool, either. There's a fine line and not everyone can pull it off with grace.
Best of luck for safe and happy births. **app deleted**
@roo1381 Thank you for pointing that out. While I'm new to posting, I'm definitely not new to reading what's going on in the boards. I prayed for some ladies here who got into preterm labor and those that lost their angels. I previously introduced myself when I was 8 weeks( now 35 weeks) with a different user name but lost my login details because I moved countries. I rejoined again but didn't feel the need for another intro. There are a lot of women here who don't comment but read the posts seeking encouragement, love and support through those who feel comfortable sharing their lives (not everyone is). The unwelcoming attitude that is shown sometimes by the so called 'regulars' defeats the purpose of what this app is supposed to be about and it has discouraged me various times from replying to posts or commenting. Can we just show some love? Aren't we just all in the same journey?
@roo1381 Thank you for pointing that out. While I'm new to posting, I'm definitely not new to reading what's going on in the boards. I prayed for some ladies here who got into preterm labor and those that lost their angels. I previously introduced myself when I was 8 weeks( now 35 weeks) with a different user name but lost my login details because I moved countries. I rejoined again but didn't feel the need for another intro. There are a lot of women here who don't comment but read the posts seeking encouragement, love and support through those who feel comfortable sharing their lives (not everyone is). The unwelcoming attitude that is shown sometimes by the so called 'regulars' defeats the purpose of what this app is supposed to be about and it has discouraged me various times from replying to posts or commenting. Can we just show some love? Aren't we just all in the same journey?
This is kind of like eavesdropping on a group conversation (in a public place where they know they can be overheard) for several months, watching everyone get to know each other and get comfortable with each other but not bothering to say much/anything yourself, then randomly bursting in to demand that you and other eavesdroppers be considered just as much a part of the group as those who invested in participating and have actually supported each other. You might feel like you know us, but you haven't let us get to know you, so we are naturally a little suspicious. That's how human relationships work.
I love the "I didn't take the time to participate and give support, but now demand you support and encourage me!!" Wtf?? So you believe we don't deserve support, just you?
@roo1381 Thank you for pointing that out. While I'm new to posting, I'm definitely not new to reading what's going on in the boards. I prayed for some ladies here who got into preterm labor and those that lost their angels. I previously introduced myself when I was 8 weeks( now 35 weeks) with a different user name but lost my login details because I moved countries. I rejoined again but didn't feel the need for another intro. There are a lot of women here who don't comment but read the posts seeking encouragement, love and support through those who feel comfortable sharing their lives (not everyone is). The unwelcoming attitude that is shown sometimes by the so called 'regulars' defeats the purpose of what this app is supposed to be about and it has discouraged me various times from replying to posts or commenting. Can we just show some love? Aren't we just all in the same journey?
You have to give support to get support. Just sayin'.
We could probably debate this for days. The fact is many of us feel that we "know" each other in that we've been interacting for months and it feels odd to have a new person join in at the eleventh hour, especially if that person wants access to personal details (ie. FB). However, that being said, many of our beloved regulars seem to have completely left for FB (come back!) and those of us still here are probably open to making some new friends if you want to take the time to introduce yourself and participate here on TB now, but you may want to do some lurking and learn how things function first, because people will be more open if you follow our conventions. So, welcome!
No one is opposed to new people participating but introduce yourself, read the guidelines, participate. Dont just jump in demanding support. I think that plenty of new people have come in and been given support...its all in the approach. And nope Im not cool with someone literally popping in one day and saying let me join your fb group with access to your location, your childrens names, and birth dates.
@Wino0920 As a FTM I didn't feel like I could advise anyone but I know next time around I'll have more to contribute and I'll be in a comfortable space
@ellie111227 yes relationships can emerge through here and it's a beautiful thing but not everyone here is looking for that and that's not okay? This is a public support forum and it's free (no conditions attached ). Unless I'm mistaken, then the guidelines should be clear.
@Wino0920 As a FTM I didn't feel like I could advise anyone but I know next time around I'll have more to contribute and I'll be in a comfortable space
@ellie111227 yes relationships can emerge through here and it's a beautiful thing but not everyone here is looking for that and that's not okay? This is a public support forum and it's free (no conditions attached ). Unless I'm mistaken, then the guidelines should be clear.
No, no it's not. It's a public forum, not a public SUPPORT forum. Support is a natural progression of a forum once people are in it long enough, form connections, etc. but there is no support just doled out willy nilly for drive by posters.
@Wino0920 As a FTM I didn't feel like I could advise anyone but I know next time around I'll have more to contribute and I'll be in a comfortable space
@ellie111227 yes relationships can emerge through here and it's a beautiful thing but not everyone here is looking for that and that's not okay? This is a public support forum and it's free (no conditions attached ). Unless I'm mistaken, then the guidelines should be clear.
You're right, this is a public forum, where people can give and receive support. As @mirdamae03 mentioned, there's a natural progression and boards establish guidelines as they go. There are guidelines for this board, they're in the "Please Read FIRST" post pinned at the top of the page.
It's cool if you're not looking to establish relationships, but that relationship can feel very one-sided when you choose not to establish those relationships early on and then all of the sudden want or need support after lurking in the shadows and then barging into an already establish group that has supported one another for the last 30+ weeks.
Wait... this is a support forum???? Well shit - I'm in the wrong place Seriously though @mgole33 how can you expect anyone to be invested in you when you're not invested in them? If a random person walked up to you and said "Ugh... I'm having the worst swelling this pregnancy", you might be polite, smile and nod, but I'm sure you're thinking "Um OK????". Now if a friend or family member did the same thing, I'm sure you might commiserate and offer advice on how you're dealing with it because you actually know and care about that person.
Lurking and giving silent support doesn't count. When I was an expecting FTM years ago, I lurked M14 as I joined late and I didn't feel I had much to offer. Most of my questions were better served for my OB. I couldn't fathom expecting the M14 BMB to give a flying f about me when I didn't take the time to interact with them. I elected to participate in my N15 group and this J17 group and have enjoyed getting to "know" others and share experiences.
So yeah... it's weird that a bunch of randoms are showing up/coming out of lurkdom just now and deciding that this is their community too and all the "mean regs" should just accept it and let them into whatever private group they want to be in.
@roo1381 Thank you for pointing that out. While I'm new to posting, I'm definitely not new to reading what's going on in the boards. I prayed for some ladies here who got into preterm labor and those that lost their angels. I previously introduced myself when I was 8 weeks( now 35 weeks) with a different user name but lost my login details because I moved countries. I rejoined again but didn't feel the need for another intro. There are a lot of women here who don't comment but read the posts seeking encouragement, love and support through those who feel comfortable sharing their lives (not everyone is). The unwelcoming attitude that is shown sometimes by the so called 'regulars' defeats the purpose of what this app is supposed to be about and it has discouraged me various times from replying to posts or commenting. Can we just show some love? Aren't we just all in the same journey?
@Wino0920 As a FTM I didn't feel like I could advise anyone but I know next time around I'll have more to contribute and I'll be in a comfortable space
@ellie111227 yes relationships can emerge through here and it's a beautiful thing but not everyone here is looking for that and that's not okay? This is a public support forum and it's free (no conditions attached ). Unless I'm mistaken, then the guidelines should be clear.
Ok, but if someone isn't interested in getting to know us and having us get to know them, then they should stick to lurking. If you don't want the relationship, don't demand it. Also, yeah, this is a public forum (not just for support, obviously, but whatever), which means that we are all people who are under no obligation to respond to you or anyone else the way you want us to. We're not employees of the bump here to provide you with a pleasant consumer experience.
This thread has been closed to new posts due to the discussion’s unwelcoming tone. Continuing to create threads related to this topic will be grounds for warning and/or removal from The Bump Community.
Please note that we remove posts that do not follow our guidelines and will issue warnings to users who violate the Terms of Use.
To review our Community guidelines, please visit the The Bump Guidelines pinned at the top of this board. Thank you.
Re: Hello! New to the board.
That is the only explanation for the insane amount of randoms we are getting...
Maybe if we change the name of the "FB Group" thread, or let it fall off the first page here, this won't happen as often? That being said, I'm totally happy for a new person to join and actively participate, but I wish they would read the giant READ THIS FIRST thread first, or intro in the very specific and obvious Intro thread that we already have going...
Hi @Makoah
Also, thank you!
Best of luck for safe and happy births.
**app deleted**
Thank you for pointing that out. While I'm new to posting, I'm definitely not new to reading what's going on in the boards. I prayed for some ladies here who got into preterm labor and those that lost their angels. I previously introduced myself when I was 8 weeks( now 35 weeks) with a different user name but lost my login details because I moved countries. I rejoined again but didn't feel the need for another intro. There are a lot of women here who don't comment but read the posts seeking encouragement, love and support through those who feel comfortable sharing their lives (not everyone is). The unwelcoming attitude that is shown sometimes by the so called 'regulars' defeats the purpose of what this app is supposed to be about and it has discouraged me various times from replying to posts or commenting. Can we just show some love? Aren't we just all in the same journey?
@ellie111227 yes relationships can emerge through here and it's a beautiful thing but not everyone here is looking for that and that's not okay? This is a public support forum and it's free (no conditions attached ). Unless I'm mistaken, then the guidelines should be clear.
It's cool if you're not looking to establish relationships, but that relationship can feel very one-sided when you choose not to establish those relationships early on and then all of the sudden want or need support after lurking in the shadows and then barging into an already establish group that has supported one another for the last 30+ weeks.
Seriously though @mgole33 how can you expect anyone to be invested in you when you're not invested in them? If a random person walked up to you and said "Ugh... I'm having the worst swelling this pregnancy", you might be polite, smile and nod, but I'm sure you're thinking "Um OK????". Now if a friend or family member did the same thing, I'm sure you might commiserate and offer advice on how you're dealing with it because you actually know and care about that person.
Lurking and giving silent support doesn't count. When I was an expecting FTM years ago, I lurked M14 as I joined late and I didn't feel I had much to offer. Most of my questions were better served for my OB. I couldn't fathom expecting the M14 BMB to give a flying f about me when I didn't take the time to interact with them. I elected to participate in my N15 group and this J17 group and have enjoyed getting to "know" others and share experiences.
So yeah... it's weird that a bunch of randoms are showing up/coming out of lurkdom just now and deciding that this is their community too and all the "mean regs" should just accept it and let them into whatever private group they want to be in.
This thread has been closed to new posts due to the discussion’s unwelcoming tone. Continuing to create threads related to this topic will be grounds for warning and/or removal from The Bump Community.
Please note that we remove posts that do not follow our guidelines and will issue warnings to users who violate the Terms of Use.
To review our Community guidelines, please visit the The Bump Guidelines pinned at the top of this board. Thank you.