I am a white woman, married to a black man, living in Texas. Fortunately we have now found a pocket of the state where we do not receive ugly stares everywhere we go, but those idiots are definitely out there. My husband has been called the n-word on the street. A man elbowed me in the back "accidentally" after staring us down for the entirety of our meal at Waffle House. So yes, ugliness still exists. So far our son hasn't been on the receiving end of any negativity though. We are concerned about how we are going to keep the girls away because he's so handsome!
@jackiesmom324 I can totally understand why u feel afraid. I've thought about moving south for financial purposes but we are too scared for those same reasons. It's just a reality that a lot of people don't realize because they don't have to or because they only experience it from the outside. We get mean stares and comments just as a couple so I can't imagine what a "different" looking kid would go through. And the things I see on the news in other places of the country are racially terrifying. I'm lucky to be in an extremely diverse state. I hope you and your baby will find a community with love!
@acgonzalez22 I get what you're saying about not realizing you're an interracial couple when you are. I love your approach to raising your kids. Do u have a plan for the bilingualism? Like will u speak English to your kids and your dh will speak Spanish to them?
@knottie3ede3e9293039918 I like your idea of letting a child decide when they are older. If your in law family starts putting on the pressure, let us know and we can discuss! That's definitely hard.
@MJDsquared so the baptism will be more of a new baby formality sort of?
@stillclever17 u bring up a really good point that our children may not face the same things we faced as "inter"whatever relationships
@ohmickey331 does your husband celebrate Christian holidays while being non practicing or not really? I'm sorry your MIL gives you issues about Judaism. Maybe over time she'll improve?
@Amber_Waves wow I love the diversity in your family!!! That is awesome and your kids will be experiencing so many amazing things!!
@dlpanda08 that's really interesting that you've been exposed to new things since your children joined your household. I am curious if you are incorporating cultural aspects of their heritage? (Music, food, traditions etc). I'd love to talk with u sometime about your adoption process, as I'd love to adopt one day.
@AMCsquared It's more that I think it's important to DH's side of the family (and though DH doesn't seem to feel like it's important to him right now, I think maybe it will be later since he did it as a kid). I feel like the term Atheist has a really bad connotation and makes me seem like I hate all religion, which I definitely don't. Freedom of religion is extremely important to me, and I respect all religions. Having DH's dad marry us was really cool for us and for him I think, and I feel like it'd be a cool experience on both sides if he could perform a baptism too.
So I guess mostly the 'event' itself would be a cool thing. It's also the first grandchild on both sides, and I have no idea if DH's sisters would baptize their kids. It was kind of the same thing with our wedding. We wanted FIL to officiate, but we felt like it was even more important because we weren't sure if either of his sisters would be willing to get married in the church, so we didn't know if he'd be able to do it for any of his kids if he didn't for us.
@AMCsquared I was born and raised in Miami so I speak a good amount of Spanish. Also, my grandmother speaks fluent Italian amd many of the words are similar if not identical. With DS we speak to him in both, his shows are more in Spanish than English, his books are both. He is 21 months and speaks both pretty well for his age. Your responses to everyone's posts were so kind! Edited for spelling.
@AMCsquared he doesn't the most we do is open presents on Christmas with his parents because they refuse to come to Hanukkah. We'll be together 11 years and married for 6 this year I don't see her changing and that's fine. My family has lot of love and support outside of DHs family but it does hurt my heart for him because he does get upset by her. Her reaction to this pregnancy was super interesting.
@AMCsquared Yes, we have been trying to include various things to celebrate and incorporate their culture. I've learned some new recipes (hello tamales! Lol) and we have let them lead with various celebrations such as honoring people no longer in our lives on the day of the dead. One day I hope to take them to Mexico (where both biological parents were born) and show them more of their culture.
And I am always happy to talk about our adoption journey! We were actually planning to adopt another sibling set next year before getting our surprise BFP.
married 7.11.09
Me: 31 DH: 36
DD (14) and DS (11) adopted from US Foster care December 2016 BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
I was a bit inspired by the dialog on "racist areas" of the country. I have lived all over the States, and Canada (Canada's DEFINITELY not racist, right? We took the underground railroad folks, right? Hahaha.)
So at the risk of being an unqualified white person talking about race (***duck***)...
All white people are racist. Including me (all non-white people are racist, too! YAY! Equal opportunity racism! I experienced this first hand, I promise!). This means there is racism through and through our country. If you are unwilling to admit you are a part of the problem, there is very little you can do to change it.
I say this because I don't see "racism" as a binary yes-no. It's a sliding scale, and we all land on it - unless you are a vegetable, of course. Many white supremacy folks insist they are not racist (?!), and I know a black man's white wife who just doesn't get why no-black-Oscar-nominees in 2015 was such a big deal.
Don't waste your energy being offended if someone calls you - or your area, your group of people, etc - racist, but reflect on what may have drawn them to that conclusion. Is there some perspective that you've missed up until this point?
Everyone on Earth has the capacity to stretch you, grow you, make you think outside your wavelength. Don't pass it up, even if it hurts a little, even if you think they are being harsh with you (they may be right and also have terrible interpersonal skills).
Likewise, when people are racist towards you - or worse, your children... always remember they *may* not realize what they are doing (overt racism aside). Be gentle with yourself, be gentle with them. Truth and grace in equal measure.
So - yeh. I do have my own racism, too, and I'm thinking I always will, though I will never be content to stop pushing back on that sliding scale. Side note, it was very hard for me to come to terms with the fact that Canada has a sordid history of racism, and still deals with racism today. Silly, but it's true, I grew up thinking racism was an American phenomenon that we just didn't have in Canada. Oops!
TCC since Feb 2013 No, I'm not an early bird, but that doesn't mean I'm a night owl.... I guess I'm an afternoon duck? Type A personality, Type B body First BFP with donor sperm 04/11/2017
I'm pretty darned white and my husband is Korean. We make hapa babies!
Koreans are traditionally pretty weird about their ethnic "purity" so being hapa in the Korean culture was difficult for a very long time.Times are definitely changing though and Korean attitudes about mixed children are improving.
We do a mini semi traditional 100 days-after-birth celebration. We also had a traditional Korean first birthday ("dol") where we have a little food, a little ceremony and we all dress up in Korean costume ("hanbok").
I would argue that all white people are racist, but non white people cannot be racist. They can be prejudiced. I think people often confuse racism with prejudice, but they aren't the same thing.
It is definitely hard to come to terms that we all (we as in white people) have things engrained in us that we actively have to work against.
@jackiesmom324 I'm from the Midwest (Wisconsin) and I agree with @jlemons-2... Some small towns might have backwards views, but I haven't seen a lot of racism. I say this as a white woman, but we do have black friends and I believe they'd say the same. There's always going to ignorant assholes, but that's true wherever you are. In general, however, I don't think it's bad here.
I was actually surprised to hear that people who don't live in the Midwest assume Midwesterners are close minded and kind of backwards. I have a gay friend who lives on the West coast who was looking into relocating, but was worried about her family. I think the majority of Midwesterners are actually very warm, inviting, and accepting.
I'm also from Wisconsin! and I totally agree with this statement, you're going to find jerks no matter where you move to, but the overall vibe is positive. I think a lot of people forget that the Midwest is home to some pretty large and diverse cities, Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis, etc. ETA: I can ONLY speak from my own personal experiences, and they don't intend to dismiss or make another's experiences less accurate. I have not lived or traveled to every part of the Midwest, and I'm certain there are areas that are less than welcoming. The cities that I been to and have lived in have had a positive and welcoming vibes, but that isn't to say the negatives do not exist.
We are an mixed-faith family. We are raising our kids to be open to believing or accepting a religion of their own choosing (or no religion at all) when they are old enough to make that choice for themselves. My husband is Agnostic and I am a witchcraft practicing Pagan. My entire extended family and DHs entire extended family is Mormon (LDS), so we have to be on guard around them with our kids because they have a very strict attitude about religion. DH and I are very open minded toward religion and religious concepts. My girls (ages 3,4,7) practice witchcraft with me in simple ways, and my oldest has asked me about the Bible before. But my girls are still so young that it's not something that is high on the list of discussion topics for now.
@afternoonduck Thank you for taking the time to write that up. I think you've made some very good points and I think I was being a little unnecessarily defensive and hot headed in my posts in this thread. And I didn't really have the right. Thank you for the enlightening perspective.
@eazybreezy225 I'm very interested in your religious beliefs and you sound like one cool mama!
DH's dad is Native American (Penobscot) and his mom is white (his grandma was a war bride--lovely British lady who married a Yank and moved to the states!) I'm white. Our daughter so far does not look Native American at all (DH has the dark hair but got his mom's fairer skin--when you see him with his dad, it's obvious, otherwise not), but we're excited to take her up to Maine to see that side of the family and show her some of her heritage (though she won't remember this visit). I was baptized Catholic but practice as a lax Episcopalian (only attend church every few weeks, usually), and we baptized DD as an Episcopalian (though her godmothers are practicing Presbyterians). DH is agnostic, leaning toward believing in God, but was not raised in any faith. His dad was nominally Catholic, his mom was raised Christian Scientist, neither practiced as adults and did not raise him in any religion. I take DD to church with me; DH does not attend, but he did come to her baptism. I say prayers with her every night. I was raised saying prayers every night, but rarely attended church (Episcopal when we did; I was baptized Catholic to appease my grandma on my dad's side); I started going more regularly as an adult. So, church will kind of be up to her, though I'd like her to at least attend sometimes with me; it's more important to me that she has a base of faith to draw upon.
Married May 2014 DD born August 2016 Baby #2 due December 2017
@afternoonduck Thank you for taking the time to write that up. I think you've made some very good points and I think I was being a little unnecessarily defensive and hot headed in my posts in this thread. And I didn't really have the right. Thank you for the enlightening perspective.
@eazybreezy225 I'm very interested in your religious beliefs and you sound like one cool mama!
Thank you. I'm very open about my beliefs so if you have any questions, ask away!
@mjdsquared i totally understand what you are saying about feeling like "Atheist" has a bad connotation. i was an atheist myself for several years and i always found myself having to defend it and proving that i was a good person. and also wow that's really nice and thoughtful that you guys had your FIL officiate.
@acgonzalez22 i love that your DS is bilingual!! my masters degree is linguistics related so i'm sort of obsessed with different options and discussions of raising bilingual kids and i love hearing everyone's experiences and ideas! my own feeling with raising my future kids bilingual is that i want the secondary language to be heavily fed when she/he is young because i know that english will eventually become the dominant language and i want them to have the opportunity to truly be bilingual. but i'll be honest, my mind is already playing with ideas of how i can expose the option of being tri-lingual.
@DLpanda08 yessss tamales!! that's wonderful you're exposing them to their culture. have u seen the animation "the book of life"? its about the day of the dead and its for kids! that'd be amazing to take them to mexico one day. and ok thank you, i will def love to talk to u about adoption!
@b48kate you bring up a good point that being in an interracial marriage can bring difficulties especially in the beginning. i love hearing about the celebrations you've done! thats very interesting. does the 100 days after birth celebration have certain traditions that go along with it?
@eazybreezy225 very interesting! do you think your girls may feel swayed one way or the other toward being agnostic or pagan when they are older?
Me: 31 DH: 32 DH since 12.2009 Married 08.2013 EDD 12.2017
Of which culture/race/religion are you and your DH? We sort of fall into all 3 of the categories, but really only culture and race. I am a white, American Muslim. My DH is a brown, American Muslim and his parents are from Pakistan. They display Pakistani culture and traditions while my DH really doesn't. For religion, DH, his parents/family, and I are Muslim. My mom is Christian and my dad is Atheist but was raised Catholic. They are American born.
What challenges do you think about your children facing related to this? I think that a lot of the challenges I faced entering into a relationship with someone whose family has a different culture are things that my children may not have to face. However, just as an interracial person I think my children could certainly face prejudices. I also wonder what type of inner struggle they may or may not have in regards to cultural identity. I know I had a long process through my own cultural identity issues and it's a super personal issue for each person. I imagine that being interracial will only magnify those struggles.
What benefits do you forsee your children having related to this? Culture: I love that my children will have the opportunity to wear Pakistani clothes at parties. I wore Indian clothes prior to meeting my husband (I volunteer taught in India before I knew him and I was super into the culture so I wore the clothes sometimes). I don't know if they'll enjoy this or reject it, but it will be exciting. As far as language goes, we plan to raise our kids to be bilingual. As I mentioned in another comment, my master's degree is related to linguistics so I'm already obsessing over ideas about helping my kids to be tri-lingual. The cognitive process fascinates me. My DH's first language was Urdu but his dominant is now English. Race: Having a blend to work with! Religion: Our children will be Muslim but they will also be exposed to Christian holidays in the secular sense through my family (getting together on Christmas basically, so it won't be religious but they'll experience the tree and gifts--- I foresee that being confusing but mostly being beneficial).
Are you blending? Or going to use one over the other? Our children will really be raised with American culture, as that's how we live. Religion wise they will be Muslim so there's no blending there.
Any funny story you can share? So before we were married, I didn't totally know how very late Pakistani people are to events. We showed up to DH's cousins wedding 3 hours before the bride or groom. (We now know to arrive several hours late). But what makes this story funny, is that while we waited, the only other people sitting there waiting were 2 white people, haha!
Me: 31 DH: 32 DH since 12.2009 Married 08.2013 EDD 12.2017
@AMCsquared well I had told my DH by putting the test in a random box we had laying around so he did the same for his parents over FaceTime. Some background first and TW:
I had a corneal ectopic pregnancy that resulted in my losing an ovary and part of my Fallopian tube, it took us almost 4 years to conceive my son lots of tears and tests. So to continue the story my DH says I just got this in the mail but I wanted to show you what it is. So she pretends she can't see it at first my FIL is sitting next to her so he can obviously see it. Do DH says do you see it and she goes no what is it. He says Oh Ashley's pregnant!!! And she goes oh you should take that present back... he ended the call then. No congrats from either IL.
@AMCsquared masters is in Second Language Acquisition. I teach EL students. It is amazing how kids learn and what little sponges they are. I have a student from India this year who knew NO English in August. She'll be leaving in two weeks fluently reading and comprehending above grade level!
I feel so sad when I hear other teachers tell my students not to speak their native language. We are an English only state, meaning I only teach in English but I allow them to speak their own language to their friends. I tell my kiddos how special they are to be bilingual. I hope they never lose their first language.
@vvitchhazel @txmomma16 @dkizz82 Ya, they are special people, for the longest time I thought they were like this because of something I did but recently I realized it's them not me. They are super jealous of my parents because mine actually make efforts to be involved (sometimes a little too involved) in my DS life. But do nothing to try and be there more. Lots of passive aggressiveness on their part. I wish it was different for the sake of my DH DS and new LO but it's who they are and I can't change that.
@dkizz82 wow I teach esl too!! Ick to those other teachers telling them that. How don't they understand that native language transfer helps to reinforce meaning when learning a new one? Lots of ignorance out there about bilingualism
Me: 31 DH: 32 DH since 12.2009 Married 08.2013 EDD 12.2017
@AMCsquared my teachers are so clueless. I am having the worst time with my 4th grade teachers this year. They won't accommodate and just think the ELs can't get it. I've turned into the biggest bitch but someone has to stand up for my kids.
@dkizz82 keep on fighting for those kids sister! I teach dyslexic students and have to have the same arguments sometimes. @AMCsquared my masters is in ESL and I sometimes have long, involved thought trains about language, acquisition, and sociolinguistics. If it paid anything more than peanuts I would have gone for my PhD and just stayed in academia studying linguistics.
@dkizz82 good for u! We must be their advocates especially when they are a population that nearly no one stands by. It sounds like you do pull out? I do full inclusion (we have 15 esl teachers at my school due to the large number of ells).
@lijuan09 it's so funny u say that bc if I didn't have to work and if it were free I would love to get my PhD in historical linguistics. Let's be language nerds together lol
Me: 31 DH: 32 DH since 12.2009 Married 08.2013 EDD 12.2017
@AMCsquared yes I do pull out and push in. I came from a school with 98% ESL students. All teachers were EL certified. Now my school only has 33 ELs and only 3 EL teacher. I am the "head EL teacher" (for lack of better words) and the gen teachers just aren't adapting well. Breaks my heart.
@AMCsquared@dkizz82@lijuan09 I'm enjoying your discussion a lot. I'm currently doing my phd in a linguistic-y area, and it's nice to have an understanding of some of the science of second language acquisition and bilingualism. DH and I don't share a first language, we communicate in English. So our future kids are going to be trilingual, since both of us want to share our L1 with the kids. I'm sure it will be a challenge, and I think that realistically, if we stay here the kids will end up being dominant in English, and being heritage speakers of our L1s.
@AMCsquared@dkizz82@lijuan09 I'm enjoying your discussion a lot. I'm currently doing my phd in a linguistic-y area, and it's nice to have an understanding of some of the science of second language acquisition and bilingualism. DH and I don't share a first language, we communicate in English. So our future kids are going to be trilingual, since both of us want to share our L1 with the kids. I'm sure it will be a challenge, and I think that realistically, if we stay here the kids will end up being dominant in English, and being heritage speakers of our L1s.
@camomile_june love it!!! My belief is that if you and dh both speak your native language at home to your baby, he/she will obtain those languages and then acquire English in school. That's probably the biggest hope of having your L1s stick around bc you're totally right English winds up being the dominant.
I'm also so interested in different variations of how kids embrace/reject language. We will have to see!
Me: 31 DH: 32 DH since 12.2009 Married 08.2013 EDD 12.2017
@mjdsquared i totally understand what you are saying about feeling like "Atheist" has a bad connotation. i was an atheist myself for several years and i always found myself having to defend it and proving that i was a good person. and also wow that's really nice and thoughtful that you guys had your FIL officiate.
@acgonzalez22 i love that your DS is bilingual!! my masters degree is linguistics related so i'm sort of obsessed with different options and discussions of raising bilingual kids and i love hearing everyone's experiences and ideas! my own feeling with raising my future kids bilingual is that i want the secondary language to be heavily fed when she/he is young because i know that english will eventually become the dominant language and i want them to have the opportunity to truly be bilingual. but i'll be honest, my mind is already playing with ideas of how i can expose the option of being tri-lingual.
@DLpanda08 yessss tamales!! that's wonderful you're exposing them to their culture. have u seen the animation "the book of life"? its about the day of the dead and its for kids! that'd be amazing to take them to mexico one day. and ok thank you, i will def love to talk to u about adoption!
@b48kate you bring up a good point that being in an interracial marriage can bring difficulties especially in the beginning. i love hearing about the celebrations you've done! thats very interesting. does the 100 days after birth celebration have certain traditions that go along with it?
@eazybreezy225 very interesting! do you think your girls may feel swayed one way or the other toward being agnostic or pagan when they are older?
It's possible that they might be! Children are so impressionable, it's only natural for them to have bias or be swayed toward a religion or a religious concept that their parents or caregivers practice / believe. I can't remember who said it but I saw a quote that said something along the lines of "isn't it amazing how we are all the same religion as our parents, and it always happens to be the right and true religion " I think there's a lot of truth to that statement. (Obviously not EVERYONE is the same religion as their parents, but it is a huge commonality) That's why i feel it's very important to show and teach my kids to be open minded and understand that my path, while it is right for me, might not be the right path for them.
def a good point! majority of people usually wind up being the religion their parent raises them in. it will be interesting to see how things pan out with the inter-faith babies and their families on this board!
Me: 31 DH: 32 DH since 12.2009 Married 08.2013 EDD 12.2017
Hey everyone. I just wanted to add this link here. It's a selection of kids books involving multicultural families. I haven't checked them out in person yet but I definitely plan to.
Re: "Mixed" babies
May Siggy Challenge: TV mom
@jackiesmom324 I can totally understand why u feel afraid. I've thought about moving south for financial purposes but we are too scared for those same reasons. It's just a reality that a lot of people don't realize because they don't have to or because they only experience it from the outside. We get mean stares and comments just as a couple so I can't imagine what a "different" looking kid would go through. And the things I see on the news in other places of the country are racially terrifying. I'm lucky to be in an extremely diverse state. I hope you and your baby will find a community with love!
@acgonzalez22 I get what you're saying about not realizing you're an interracial couple when you are. I love your approach to raising your kids. Do u have a plan for the bilingualism? Like will u speak English to your kids and your dh will speak Spanish to them?
@knottie3ede3e9293039918 I like your idea of letting a child decide when they are older. If your in law family starts putting on the pressure, let us know and we can discuss! That's definitely hard.
@MJDsquared so the baptism will be more of a new baby formality sort of?
@stillclever17 u bring up a really good point that our children may not face the same things we faced as "inter"whatever relationships
@ohmickey331 does your husband celebrate Christian holidays while being non practicing or not really? I'm sorry your MIL gives you issues about Judaism. Maybe over time she'll improve?
@Amber_Waves wow I love the diversity in your family!!! That is awesome and your kids will be experiencing so many amazing things!!
@dlpanda08 that's really interesting that you've been exposed to new things since your children joined your household. I am curious if you are incorporating cultural aspects of their heritage? (Music, food, traditions etc). I'd love to talk with u sometime about your adoption process, as I'd love to adopt one day.
@PoeMasque I love your sentiments.
So I guess mostly the 'event' itself would be a cool thing. It's also the first grandchild on both sides, and I have no idea if DH's sisters would baptize their kids. It was kind of the same thing with our wedding. We wanted FIL to officiate, but we felt like it was even more important because we weren't sure if either of his sisters would be willing to get married in the church, so we didn't know if he'd be able to do it for any of his kids if he didn't for us.
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
Edited for spelling.
And I am always happy to talk about our adoption journey! We were actually planning to adopt another sibling set next year before getting our surprise BFP.
BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
So at the risk of being an unqualified white person talking about race (***duck***)...
All white people are racist. Including me (all non-white people are racist, too! YAY! Equal opportunity racism! I experienced this first hand, I promise!). This means there is racism through and through our country. If you are unwilling to admit you are a part of the problem, there is very little you can do to change it.
I say this because I don't see "racism" as a binary yes-no. It's a sliding scale, and we all land on it - unless you are a vegetable, of course. Many white supremacy folks insist they are not racist (?!), and I know a black man's white wife who just doesn't get why no-black-Oscar-nominees in 2015 was such a big deal.
Don't waste your energy being offended if someone calls you - or your area, your group of people, etc - racist, but reflect on what may have drawn them to that conclusion. Is there some perspective that you've missed up until this point?
Everyone on Earth has the capacity to stretch you, grow you, make you think outside your wavelength. Don't pass it up, even if it hurts a little, even if you think they are being harsh with you (they may be right and also have terrible interpersonal skills).
Likewise, when people are racist towards you - or worse, your children... always remember they *may* not realize what they are doing (overt racism aside). Be gentle with yourself, be gentle with them. Truth and grace in equal measure.
So - yeh. I do have my own racism, too, and I'm thinking I always will, though I will never be content to stop pushing back on that sliding scale. Side note, it was very hard for me to come to terms with the fact that Canada has a sordid history of racism, and still deals with racism today. Silly, but it's true, I grew up thinking racism was an American phenomenon that we just didn't have in Canada. Oops!
No, I'm not an early bird, but that doesn't mean I'm a night owl.... I guess I'm an afternoon duck?
Type A personality, Type B body
First BFP with donor sperm 04/11/2017
Koreans are traditionally pretty weird about their ethnic "purity" so being hapa in the Korean culture was difficult for a very long time.Times are definitely changing though and Korean attitudes about mixed children are improving.
We do a mini semi traditional 100 days-after-birth celebration. We also had a traditional Korean first birthday ("dol") where we have a little food, a little ceremony and we all dress up in Korean costume ("hanbok").
It is definitely hard to come to terms that we all (we as in white people) have things engrained in us that we actively have to work against.
ETA: I can ONLY speak from my own personal experiences, and they don't intend to dismiss or make another's experiences less accurate. I have not lived or traveled to every part of the Midwest, and I'm certain there are areas that are less than welcoming. The cities that I been to and have lived in have had a positive and welcoming vibes, but that isn't to say the negatives do not exist.
My entire extended family and DHs entire extended family is Mormon (LDS), so we have to be on guard around them with our kids because they have a very strict attitude about religion.
DH and I are very open minded toward religion and religious concepts. My girls (ages 3,4,7) practice witchcraft with me in simple ways, and my oldest has asked me about the Bible before. But my girls are still so young that it's not something that is high on the list of discussion topics for now.
@eazybreezy225 I'm very interested in your religious beliefs and you sound like one cool mama!
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
@acgonzalez22 i love that your DS is bilingual!! my masters degree is linguistics related so i'm sort of obsessed with different options and discussions of raising bilingual kids and i love hearing everyone's experiences and ideas! my own feeling with raising my future kids bilingual is that i want the secondary language to be heavily fed when she/he is young because i know that english will eventually become the dominant language and i want them to have the opportunity to truly be bilingual. but i'll be honest, my mind is already playing with ideas of how i can expose the option of being tri-lingual.
@ohmickey331 oh no what was the reaction?
@DLpanda08 yessss tamales!! that's wonderful you're exposing them to their culture. have u seen the animation "the book of life"? its about the day of the dead and its for kids! that'd be amazing to take them to mexico one day. and ok thank you, i will def love to talk to u about adoption!
@b48kate you bring up a good point that being in an interracial marriage can bring difficulties especially in the beginning. i love hearing about the celebrations you've done! thats very interesting. does the 100 days after birth celebration have certain traditions that go along with it?
Culture: I love that my children will have the opportunity to wear Pakistani clothes at parties. I wore Indian clothes prior to meeting my husband (I volunteer taught in India before I knew him and I was super into the culture so I wore the clothes sometimes). I don't know if they'll enjoy this or reject it, but it will be exciting. As far as language goes, we plan to raise our kids to be bilingual. As I mentioned in another comment, my master's degree is related to linguistics so I'm already obsessing over ideas about helping my kids to be tri-lingual. The cognitive process fascinates me. My DH's first language was Urdu but his dominant is now English.
Race: Having a blend to work with!
Religion: Our children will be Muslim but they will also be exposed to Christian holidays in the secular sense through my family (getting together on Christmas basically, so it won't be religious but they'll experience the tree and gifts--- I foresee that being confusing but mostly being beneficial).
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
I had a corneal ectopic pregnancy that resulted in my losing an ovary and part of my Fallopian tube, it took us almost 4 years to conceive my son lots of tears and tests.
So to continue the story my DH says I just got this in the mail but I wanted to show you what it is. So she pretends she can't see it at first my FIL is sitting next to her so he can obviously see it. Do DH says do you see it and she goes no what is it. He says Oh Ashley's pregnant!!! And she goes oh you should take that present back... he ended the call then. No congrats from either IL.
2 Dogs / 2 Cats
IUI #2 10/2016 BFN
IUI #3 11/2016 BFN
IVF #1 03/2017 - 23 Retrieved / 22 Fertilized / 11 at Day 3 / 1 Beautiful Embryo tf on Day 5 / 7 Frozen on Day 6 - Beta #1 4/5/17: 104 Beta #2 4/7/17 224
@AMCsquared masters is in Second Language Acquisition. I teach EL students. It is amazing how kids learn and what little sponges they are. I have a student from India this year who knew NO English in August. She'll be leaving in two weeks fluently reading and comprehending above grade level!
I feel so sad when I hear other teachers tell my students not to speak their native language. We are an English only state, meaning I only teach in English but I allow them to speak their own language to their friends. I tell my kiddos how special they are to be bilingual. I hope they never lose their first language.
@txmomma16
@dkizz82
Ya, they are special people, for the longest time I thought they were like this because of something I did but recently I realized it's them not me. They are super jealous of my parents because mine actually make efforts to be involved (sometimes a little too involved) in my DS life. But do nothing to try and be there more. Lots of passive aggressiveness on their part. I wish it was different for the sake of my DH DS and new LO but it's who they are and I can't change that.
@dkizz82 wow I teach esl too!! Ick to those other teachers telling them that. How don't they understand that native language transfer helps to reinforce meaning when learning a new one? Lots of ignorance out there about bilingualism
May Siggy Challenge: TV mom
@lijuan09 it's so funny u say that bc if I didn't have to work and if it were free I would love to get my PhD in historical linguistics. Let's be language nerds together lol
I'm also so interested in different variations of how kids embrace/reject language. We will have to see!
I think there's a lot of truth to that statement. (Obviously not EVERYONE is the same religion as their parents, but it is a huge commonality)
That's why i feel it's very important to show and teach my kids to be open minded and understand that my path, while it is right for me, might not be the right path for them.
https://www.whatdowedoallday.com/childrens-books-with-multiracial-families/
I just ordered some bilingual childrens books on amazon that are English and Urdu that I'm going to give to my MIL.
ugh i found out im moving. 8 hours south. im happy but also how does anyone move when pregnant