Go in educated with an open mind but with few expectations. There's so so much that's out of your control and don't get caught up in the pressure of breast is best. Fed is best and we all do the best we can for our babes given our situations! My insurance didn't cover pumps either but I found a lightly used one on a Facebook selling site. I just bought all new tubes and parts for it
I struggled to breastfeed. We made in 5 months before throwing in the towel. 5 miserable months. My LO was born 3 weeks early which I believe contributed to our issues. I never really produced enough despite my constant efforts. I had the baby at my breast constantly. I ate oatmeal, lactation cookies, blue gatorade, took fenugreek, blessed thistle, and sunflower lecithin. I also had my OB prescibe a prescription medicine to aid in milk production. I pumped every 2 hours upon returning to work. I literally did everything the book/internet/lactation consultants told me to and it just didn't work for us. It got to the point where I resented the pumping and dreaded feeding time. My kid was going hungry, I was supposed to be able to provide for him, and I felt like a failure. I live by the mantra "Fed is Best".
I will try again with this baby. I've heard that it is easier the second time around. I will not drive my self crazy this time. If it works, fantastic. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer. I was full of hope and wonder at the great breastfeeding/bonding experience I was supposed to have. I'm still quite bitter that my body failed me.
For all you FTM, check with your local hospital to see if they offer free/cheap breastfeeding classes. Mine does, and we took that which helped immensely. My hospital also has 3 LC's available for free to consult with all new moms while they're in the hospital, as well as offering breastfeeding support groups that meet twice a week. This is such a huge help! I have found that La Leche Leagues are too intense for me, as they are usually quite judgey with women who have to supplement. I myself bf'd for 16 months with DS. We didn't have any problems, which was amazing, but I know women who had issues through my group that did bf for a year at least. Don't beat yourself up if it's hard, ask for help from the community, and take it one day at a time!
@av2323 Thank you for your honest reply. I have not been through it myself yet, but I am sure you should not feel resentful towards your body. It's stories like yours that allow me to take comfort in acknowledging that it will be okay if I cannot provide - that I am far from alone - even if it is my hope to BF. My mother went through the same thing, so I myself was not BF.
Also, thank you for mentioning the lactation "remedies" - I was curious if those lactation cookies, Milkmakers, etc. actually work. Is blue Gatorade really considered one of them?!
@thea17 It is! The lactation remedies worked for most of the gals in my Dec 15 group. I couldn't take fenugreek or blessed thistle because it made LO so unbearably gassy. For 95% of the other gals in my group those things were lifesavers.
I breastfed my son until he was 2.5! After about a year it was only for nap/bed time or comfort. I originally didn't want to breastfeed at alll and was convinced to try at least the first two weeks. Turns out I loved it and actually went on to be a certified lactation councilor!
Im very nervous for breast feeding this time around because twins! I'm not sure I will be able to handle that!
Just adding my two cents ... I was terrified to BF my first because of all the talk on TB of how hard it is/how much it hurts/how stressed I would be/etc. But for us, it just clicked. DD nursed immediately, I was a little chaffed, but never in pain, and I had a decent supply. I don't mean that as a brag, I just want to let all the FTMs know that it's not necessarily going to be tough for you. Go into it with an open mind and small goals and have a plan in place for if things aren't working, but don't be nervous about it and don't stress unless there's something to stress about.
I wanted to go a year with my first but I developed Graves' disease when he was 5 months and only was able to go 6 months because I had a radioactive treatment that ceased BFing. We EBFed for 3 months and then due to poor supply supplemented for the other 3. I had no control over when I stopped and it was hard. I had put a lot (too much) pressure on myself before having him to BF for a year and was so mad when I had to stop. This time I will know not to have expectations.
I'm a FTM and I hope to be able to breastfeed. For those of you who have breastfed in the past, do you recommend purchasing a breast pump as well or waiting to see how things go/what baby needs? I feel so lost in this area as I only have one person close to me that has breastfed and she EBF. She was/is very adamant that she didn't want to pump so she didn't didn't purchase a pump at all. I am open to pumping if it means I'm able to give baby breastmilk. My insurance company does not pay for breast pumps so I'm hesitant to purchase one if it won't be needed/used as they are pricey. Anyone have any recommendations/thoughts/experiences to share on this?
I would wait until closer to delivery to make pump choice and see if you can buy a used one then purchase new parts off of Amazon.
We had a really rough go with breastfeeding. My little had lip tie and tongue tie which initially went undiagnosed until someone told me that splitting and bleeding nipples weren't normal, and had to have the frenulectomy. Due to her not being able to nurse properly, my supply was shot, so we ended up in this never ending cycle of offering the boob, supplementing a bottle, pumping for 30 minutes, and repeat. And then we found out she was dairy and soy intolerant, so I had to cut that all out of my diet and buy the hypoallergenic formula. To top it all off I had a rare complication after her birth that kept me in and out of doctors offices, and I developed PPD.
BUT, because of the support I had from my family and a fantastic lactation consultant, we pushed through it all. I got my supply up to beat, and we nursed for 14 months.
HOWEVER, I put entirely too much pressure on myself, and even though I'm proud that I never gave up, I hate that I viewed it as "giving up." I think that "changing directions" would've been more applicable, because as many have mentioned, fed is best. And moms need to know that their health (mental, physical, emotional) is vital too.
After seeing all these posts about tongue and lip ties that went undiagnosed... is this something easy to diagnose? Would it be worth asking a doctor to check this in the hospital before going home?
@RiverSong15 Many doctors miss it because some are less obvious than others. But it would be worth a shot. If your hospital has a lactation consultant they may know more what to look for, but they can't give you the official diagnosis.
I second the no stressing thing. Stress affects your supply so much. That's why a lot of ladies feel they need to give up. They get into a vicious circle of stressing so they don't produce which stresses them out more! Don't worry about things like lip ties or latching problems until you actually have that problem. That's a good rule for parenting in general, actually. If you worry about all the things that could happen, you'll be stressed all the time and won't enjoy your baby!
My son is still breastfeeding now at 28 mo. It's a lovely time that the two of us have together. Because of pregnancy, my supply has gone down drastically but he still wants to suckle and I'm fine with that. After I deliver I plan to co-nurse but I am aware that he may want to stop due to the change in taste.
Breastfeeding for us was very difficult in the beginning and uncomfortable for me. I worried a lot, uselessly, about all kinds of things. It's uncomfortable, is his latch ok? (it was fine). My boobs have sore spots, am I getting a plugged duct (no, I never did). What is that clicking noise that he makes sometimes? (swallowing. He is swallowing). Is he eating enough? (yes, he shot up the growth chart). I read a lot on Kellymom.com and I used the lactation consultants who were available at the hospital, and even got extra visits from them. The lactation consultants had one particular hold that they were all keen on and didn't really recommend others, and later once I got a little more confident I found that reclined feeding with baby on top was BY FAR the most comfortable for both of us (and it's recommended for newborns to help teach them to find the breast and latch on their own). I definitely recommend a class and wish that I had taken one, but I delivered a month early and I was in the hospital holding a 1 day old baby on the day of my class. Woops.
I would say to keep an open mind about how long you will breastfeed and be willing to do what works for both of you, but also be ready to rough it through some tough spots. Things got much easier after the first month but we hit another rough patch at 9 months when he was eating a fair amount of solids and getting very easily distracted. We stopped breastfeeding anywhere except his room, in the dark, and dropped all but 4 feedings because he would only eat before and after sleeping. At that moment if you asked me how much longer we would keep going I would have thought we would be lucky to make a year, but once we made that adjustment we have had an easy time ever since.
You probably already know a lot about the benefits that breastfeeding is supposed to convey, but for me the two things that have been most on my mind are a) weight loss for me - even with only four feedings, producing breastmilk burned around 300 calories per day which helped a lot getting me back in shape, and b) my son was born and everyone immediately said he looks just like my husband. Features, shape of his body, huge head, even has my husband's weird boat feet. My husband has been obese his entire life (not overweight - obese. Even as a 5 year old), and I don't want that for my son. Now there's no automatic thing where if you have formula as a baby you become obese, but studies have shown that breastfeeding decreases the risk of obesity later and that more breastfeeding has a greater effect. Because I already know that my child has a genetic risk factor for obesity, I really want to help him in any way that I can to stay healthy in that regard.
After seeing all these posts about tongue and lip ties that went undiagnosed... is this something easy to diagnose? Would it be worth asking a doctor to check this in the hospital before going home?
Since I've now had the experience, I'm definitely going to ask. They actually told me about the tongue tie at her first doctor's appointment, but they didn't make a big deal about it and said that if breastfeeding was fine I shouldn't worry about it. I thought breastfeeding was fine--because I didn't really know what it was supposed to be like. If my next baby has a tongue tie, I'm getting it cut no matter what.
Nov 17 BMB May Siggy Challenge: Mother's Day Fails
@christyh0912 I loved pumping because it allowed me to have my husband feed the baby a bottle or for us to go on dates and have a babysitter feed the bottle. You could buy used, but if so make sure to look for a closed system pump vs open system. Open systems let milk on all the parts and there is no way to make sure they are completely free of the other persons milk even if you buy new tubes.
I breastfed exclusively (pumping and nursing) for the first four months. It was easier when I was home on maternity leave and could grow that relationship. When I went back to work, PPD definitely inhibited my ability continue pumping. I constantly was stressing about the amount of milk I was producing vs how much I was sending to daycare each day. Also, sitting in the pumping room alone at work messed with my head too. Eventually I decided to cut out pumping altogether and we only nursed first thing in the morning and at bedtime until my milk dried up. I loved it while I could do it, but my mental health had to take a front seat.
As for an age limit, I'm on team: "whatever works for you"
I dont know if any other STM+ have done this but maybe something to think about.....i logged the first 1000 breast feeds. I used an app that logged time of feed, length, showed patterns in feed behaviour etc. Was really cool. It also allowed me to journal some notes about the feed or my feelings and emotions on the day. I think I'll do it again..... just gotta find the right app.
Hi! I nursed my girl for about 10 months. However, I had to supplement half of her needs with formula the entire time. My girl had a tongue and lip tie that wasn't diagnosed in the hospital and after 4 weeks of little weight gain, cracked and bleeding nipples, and literally constantly nursing....like 24 hrs a day until my IBCLC diagnosed her. This was kind of a perfect storm for low milk production as I also had gestational diabetes and it turns out that can cause delayed milk coming in and slow milk production. So even with tons of herbal supplement, teas, and nursing on demand and pumping every 2 hrs I could only make about half of what she needed. This was a huge shock to me as everyone told me that not making enough milk is rare...which is completely untrue. One more thing no one told me was it doesn't have to be all or nothing there is nothing wrong with supplementing and nursing, just as long as your baby has the right number is diapers and is gaining appropriately. Definitely get a good pump before the baby come and get familiar with it or better yet get a lactation consultant before the baby come or go to a breastfeeding class. You can also rent hospital grade pumps at the hospital. Keep you mind open and don't put so much pressure on yourself.
My first I breast fed for 18 months my second eight months my third I didn't breastfeed my 7 month old is still breast feeding ..ill be trying to get her comfortable off the boob around a year because I don't want to tandem fed and I do want to breastfeed this baby..
I agree with only setting short term goals. As you reach them you'll feel great, and it also gives you the ability to reassess if it's not working for you without feeling like you've really "failed."
My first I planned to wean around 2, but because of a big international move and a baby on the way I put it off. She didn't wean until 4 years and 5 months. My twins are just a little over 2 and still nursing once a day but I'm not nursing 3 again, so I'm slowly weaning them.
A good lactation consultant helps. Asking friends with experience helps. Loads of water help.
Also, pumping was never something that worked great for me. It's okay to hate pumping and barely get anything. It's okay to hate breastfeeding (I had moments where I was so touched out). You'll figure out what works best for you.
I've nursed both my babies, one about 20 months and the other still requesting at 22 months despite my best efforts..! (Something about breastfeeding seems to make my morning sickness worse.) I've had a comparatively easy time of it, but it likely helps that I worked very little with my son and none at all with my daughter. There's a steep learning curve the first few weeks, but if you keep calculating your goal ("ok, I'm 1/24 of the way to a year," etc.) and have a supportive husband and wise community of women (lactation consultants, La Leche League or even just breastfeeding friends), that makes a world of difference. Now it's one of my very favorite things about babyhood, so give yourself some time and grace!
Re: Breastfeeding?
**Bonnie**
Married Sept 13, 2009
TTC since Jan 2010
Diagnosed w/ PCOS Oct 2010
1500mg metformin
SA 05/25/11 morphology @ 10%
HSG 06/02/11, tubes were clear, uterine septum discovered
06/30/11 Hysteroscopy, found a polyp blocking R fallopian tube
07/20/11 Successful surgery to remove polyp and uterine septum!
Sept/Oct cycle-Femara IUI turned into TI cycle= cancelled due to unresponsive follies
09/28/11: dx w/ MTHFR (cc)
10/22/11: IUI #1 w/ Femara + Menopur + trigger+ diluted hcg shots= BFN :-(
03/25/12: IUI #2 w/ Femara + Menopur + trigger+progesterone= BFN
Starting to pursue adoption
I will try again with this baby. I've heard that it is easier the second time around. I will not drive my self crazy this time. If it works, fantastic. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer. I was full of hope and wonder at the great breastfeeding/bonding experience I was supposed to have. I'm still quite bitter that my body failed me.
Also, thank you for mentioning the lactation "remedies" - I was curious if those lactation cookies, Milkmakers, etc. actually work. Is blue Gatorade really considered one of them?!
Im very nervous for breast feeding this time around because twins! I'm not sure I will be able to handle that!
BUT, because of the support I had from my family and a fantastic lactation consultant, we pushed through it all. I got my supply up to beat, and we nursed for 14 months.
HOWEVER, I put entirely too much pressure on myself, and even though I'm proud that I never gave up, I hate that I viewed it as "giving up." I think that "changing directions" would've been more applicable, because as many have mentioned, fed is best. And moms need to know that their health (mental, physical, emotional) is vital too.
Breastfeeding for us was very difficult in the beginning and uncomfortable for me. I worried a lot, uselessly, about all kinds of things. It's uncomfortable, is his latch ok? (it was fine). My boobs have sore spots, am I getting a plugged duct (no, I never did). What is that clicking noise that he makes sometimes? (swallowing. He is swallowing). Is he eating enough? (yes, he shot up the growth chart). I read a lot on Kellymom.com and I used the lactation consultants who were available at the hospital, and even got extra visits from them. The lactation consultants had one particular hold that they were all keen on and didn't really recommend others, and later once I got a little more confident I found that reclined feeding with baby on top was BY FAR the most comfortable for both of us (and it's recommended for newborns to help teach them to find the breast and latch on their own). I definitely recommend a class and wish that I had taken one, but I delivered a month early and I was in the hospital holding a 1 day old baby on the day of my class. Woops.
I would say to keep an open mind about how long you will breastfeed and be willing to do what works for both of you, but also be ready to rough it through some tough spots. Things got much easier after the first month but we hit another rough patch at 9 months when he was eating a fair amount of solids and getting very easily distracted. We stopped breastfeeding anywhere except his room, in the dark, and dropped all but 4 feedings because he would only eat before and after sleeping. At that moment if you asked me how much longer we would keep going I would have thought we would be lucky to make a year, but once we made that adjustment we have had an easy time ever since.
You probably already know a lot about the benefits that breastfeeding is supposed to convey, but for me the two things that have been most on my mind are a) weight loss for me - even with only four feedings, producing breastmilk burned around 300 calories per day which helped a lot getting me back in shape, and b) my son was born and everyone immediately said he looks just like my husband. Features, shape of his body, huge head, even has my husband's weird boat feet. My husband has been obese his entire life (not overweight - obese. Even as a 5 year old), and I don't want that for my son. Now there's no automatic thing where if you have formula as a baby you become obese, but studies have shown that breastfeeding decreases the risk of obesity later and that more breastfeeding has a greater effect. Because I already know that my child has a genetic risk factor for obesity, I really want to help him in any way that I can to stay healthy in that regard.
Thnx for reading my novel.
When I went back to work, PPD definitely inhibited my ability continue pumping. I constantly was stressing about the amount of milk I was producing vs how much I was sending to daycare each day. Also, sitting in the pumping room alone at work messed with my head too.
Eventually I decided to cut out pumping altogether and we only nursed first thing in the morning and at bedtime until my milk dried up. I loved it while I could do it, but my mental health had to take a front seat.
As for an age limit, I'm on team: "whatever works for you"
My first I planned to wean around 2, but because of a big international move and a baby on the way I put it off. She didn't wean until 4 years and 5 months. My twins are just a little over 2 and still nursing once a day but I'm not nursing 3 again, so I'm slowly weaning them.
A good lactation consultant helps. Asking friends with experience helps. Loads of water help.
Also, pumping was never something that worked great for me. It's okay to hate pumping and barely get anything. It's okay to hate breastfeeding (I had moments where I was so touched out). You'll figure out what works best for you.