@kgridley27 That is basically what I've been doing to keep her up until 6:30 when I know she hasn't had enough naps and is sleepy. That's why I'm worried about trying to keep her up until almost 7. H's schedule might change soon and someone else will be watching S so I think I will tell her to try to get S down for a nap close to 5ish. Her bedtime was originally 7 but when I went back to work and wasn't in control of what was going on during the day, it crept up to 6:30 because she would be tired. H does try to give her a nap around 5 sometimes but only does it when he "thinks" she's sleepy.
To be fair, B is not on a set nap schedule by the clock, and some days he's just not that into napping. Your H could be right that she's only sleepy at 5 some of the time regardless of how many times/for how long she has napped that day.
@Kgridley27 No flaming from me! Mines not on a schedule either. We just go off her cues. Only think that is scheduled in night time but even that gets pushed back to 8 some nights.
Johnny isn't on a nap schedule anymore either, but like the rest of you, No sleeping after 5:30 til bedtime! It works out for us, he STTN and just does his own dsytime nap thang. Jimmy however still has to take scheduled naps or he'd be awake all day being a maniac, then be a fussy butthead all night!
It is possible that he could be right sometimes lol. The most she can normally stay awake at a time is 2-2.5 hours without getting cranky. Sometimes he keeps her up longer and doesn't realize why she's fussy. She's not on a schedule either but I feel like I pay more attention to her cues. Lately, she's wanting to stay awake to play so those cues aren't as visible anymore even though she definitely needs a nap. But if I take her in her room as if I'm getting her ready for a nap, then she shows them. I will see how it goes tonight, but I do prefer the 7:00 bedtime if possible.
I complain about H way too much on here lol. I need to scale back .
@Ladybug2821 speaking of your H I was wondering how he did with S on his little car trip with a family member? I cant remember exactly what the details were but I remember you were worried about him getting her down for a couple naps.
@kmolleltz Next week is the last week of April and as we get closer to May I just want to let you know I'm thinking of you often and praying for Abigail. Lean on us if you need to, we are here for you.
@brzvice H did really well. S wasn't as cranky as I expected her to be from not getting her normal amount of sleep. H didn't get to spend as much time with his Dad as hoped but he was able to put her down for a nap when they were together.
I have a BF. The lady that is going to be watching S suggested spending an hour with her here and there so she can get used to her. We need her Wednesday for the full day so we also planned for her to come over tomorrow for an hour. And I was going to enjoy a much needed nap. Well H's cousins are also in town and even though I had planned something with them today, they switched it up and changed it to tomorrow. I didn't make a big deal about it because I really do want to see them and have S meet them but I'm actually kind of irritated. I've been looking forward to that naps for a few days . I can't even remember the last time I had a nap and I'm definitely suffering from lack of sleep. FX S takes good naps today and I can at least squeeze one in.
I wish. Nope, I'll be at work and H has a work thing so that is why we need the babysitter. I'm not sure if H's family is coming here or if we are going to their resort. But if they come here, I'm taking a nap. Sorry, not sorry . I'm also thinking about bringing lunch most days to work, eating at my desk, and taking my actual lunch in my car to try to nap.
Seems like the trend is no naps after 5:30 and bedtime around 7/8. Are your LOs normally taking a nap up through 5/5:30? I'm really trying to get S to make it until 7 but today for example she unexpectedly took a nap while we were at the park and woke up at 3:15. I was think she would take her last nap around 3:30 and would wake up between 4-5. I just tried to see if I could get her down for a nap around 4:30 and she's not having it. She did already take about 3 hrs worth of naps today but I think she's going to be a mess come 6 since its been so long since she woke up last.
@Ladybug2821 My LO woke up at 2:45 from her last nap. I've put her in her crib now hoping she falls asleep (she was super fussy the last 10 minutes). I know she's tired so sometimes she fights it and wins and sometimes she'll take a 20-30 minute power nap which helps get us to bedtime in a pleasant mood.
Yeah, occasionally if B is really grumpy we will let him take a 20 min nap around 6. I haven't found it to affect his bedtime in any significant way but we definitely try not to make it a habit
This girl is testing my patience. She wouldn't take the 4:30 nap. I did what I could to keep her distracted until 6:30. I know she was super tired but it still took 20 mins to get her asleep. It's 10 mins later and she is now awake crying. I can't wait until Memorial Day weekend to start sleep training because this is getting ridiculous. I know she can put herself to sleep because she's done it before and 20 mins is just too long for her to just wake right back up.
It definitely has to do with all the things she's learning and wanting to stay awake and play. Both of the times she woke up right after being put down, she was sitting up when I went in the room. I need her to practice during the day, not at night.
Oh my, I thought last night was going to be horrible. Luckily I was wrong. S would not take decent naps yesterday which is strange because she has been doing so much better with that. I really think than when H is home that she is even more alert than normal. We went to see H's family yesterday and she would not fall asleep on the hour ride there so I thought she was going to be a mess with his family. She ended up being really good and didn't cry at all. On the way home though, she was so tired and it took some time for me to help her to sleep. She was able to get about 30 mins. The timing was great since it allowed me to keep her up until starting her bedtime routine at 6:45. H needed to clean the bathroom that is connected to our room so he said lets put the rock n play in her room for her to sleep so he wouldn't wake her up. (We really need to get her out of the rock n play lol). She was asleep and in her room by 7:15 and didn't wake up until 1am to nurse. I nursed her and moved her back to her room and she didn't wake up again until almost 5 to nurse again. I was knocked out though which is rare for me because I'm such a light sleep and I didn't even hear her cry. H went and got her and brought her back to our room. That was the best sleep I've had in quite some time. I can't wait until the night she surprises me and doesn't wake up for that 1am feeding . At this point, I think we will keep her in her room now and start transitioning her to the crib. She has slept in there before but was swaddled. I told H we will have our room back now and can make all the noise we want.
@kmolleltz What a precious photo. Look at Abigail's sweet little hand! And those curls! Girl you sure make my Midwest life look so boring, cuz Africa ya'll
I am about to lose my mind dealing with my step-son. He will NOT stop lying and stealing... There is at least one major incident on a weekly basis and I am at the end of my rope with him... He sees a therapist for his behavior, but it has done more harm than good- She tells him "Oh, you just have an impulse disorder and can't help yourself, even though you know its wrong". So now he has it in his head that it's okay for HIM to lie and steal because "he can't help it". I call bullshit on that, I also think it's a crappy byproduct of his mother's "raising" while he was with her watching her do it, and never having consequences when he did it. Even when you show him evidence of his lie or catch him red-handed stealing he will deny it until he's blue in the face and never shows even the slightest amount of regret or remorse, he only reacts WHILE he's being punished, then back to nothing at all. This may seem controversial, and I don't care or want to get into a debate about it so please stay on subject, but I have started to spank him when he gets caught lying to us or stealing. (FI doesn't spank him due to recent events). I explained to him that he will be spanked when he is caught lying or stealing and that he is being selfish, dishonest, and disrespectful to his family and friends when he continues to behave that way. We have already tried "talking it out" and positive reinforcement, but he is just too lazy and selfish to earn anything or just behave... He wants whatever he wants whenever he wants it, regardless of who he may hurt in the process of getting it. It is enfuriating, especially since he knows all he has to do now is find the right sucker to tell how mean his parents are for disciplining him. I have been around a LOT of children in my lifetime, but not a one like him. I hate his mom for setting this example, and I know his teenage sisters are just as bad and no help in the situation. I want to take him down to the police department and have THEM explain to him everything that is wrong with stealing and lying because nothing we or his therapist are doing is working. It makes me sad, and I know I've only been in his life for three years, but I feel like I am failing at something for it, and it is embarrassing because my family doesn't want to invite him over anymore because he has stolen from everybody and lied about it so much ;( I know you gals are all FTMs, and I'm mostly just venting, but I'll take whatever feedback I can get. Sorry for the rant. *end novel*
@AllyTheKid I can't even imagine how frustrating that must be. I do not have any personal experience in this vein but I will help any way I can. I'm assuming you posted some backstory on the BMB before I got here, but I'm not sure on the details so forgive my ignorance in advance.
Can you get him a new therapist that isn't just giving him excuses for his behavior? Failing that, do you think you guys/he would benefit from some family therapy sessions and/or one-on-one sessions with you/ you & FI to go over with her his behavior at home and ways to address it?
How does your FI react to all of this? Is the disciplining left mostly to you? I sure hope not.
I'm so sorry you're feeling like you are failing him. I know you are doing everything you can to give that kid a good life after what sounds like a very troubled start for him. One day maybe he'll see the light and look back on all you had to put up with. It's hard feeling unappreciated and ignored especially when you really do know what's best. Hang in there, mama. You got this!
@allythekid I think taking him to the police station or somehow getting in touch with juvenile services is a good idea. I wasn't even really a bad kid when I was a teen, but I did back talk to my mom every once in awhile. One day she made me mad, I back talked, and she said my friend couldn't come and spend the night. So I said "I'm leaving", and I just walked out the door and went down the street. Of course I really wasn't going anywhere. I didn't even take anything with me, but that was enough for my mom to contact juvenile services. I don't think I saw a police officer, but I had to see a juvenile services counselor every month. I was pulled out of class for this so my other classmates knew. I think a counselor specifically for lack of a better word, delinquents, would be a better fit for him. I also think a scared straight plan would be beneficial. I would definitely try to get the police involved and see how they can help. Good Luck! I know you are doing everything you can.
@Ladybug2821 Siiiince you are in FL, do you have any daytrip suggestions a 6 month old and his two tired parents might enjoy? We are staying in central FL. I don't know how close you are to that general area. We plan to head to the Tampa/St. Pete area for a day to do the aquarium ('cause what kid doesn't love fish?) and Ft. DeSoto. then we are doing a day in Orlando either at Disney Springs + resort hopping OR, if things work in my favor, soft openings of the new World of Pandora at Animal Kingdom.
This is a long shot, but I thought maybe you would have a few hidden gems up your sleeve
Side note: we used to go to the St. Pete area almost every summer as kids so I thought maybe Lowry or Homossassa Springs, too...
@Ladybug2821 Siiiince you are in FL, do you have any daytrip suggestions a 6 month old and his two tired parents might enjoy? We are staying in central FL. I don't know how close you are to that general area. We plan to head to the Tampa/St. Pete area for a day to do the aquarium ('cause what kid doesn't love fish?) and Ft. DeSoto. then we are doing a day in Orlando either at Disney Springs + resort hopping OR, if things work in my favor, soft openings of the new World of Pandora at Animal Kingdom.
This is a long shot, but I thought maybe you would have a few hidden gems up your sleeve
Side note: we used to go to the St. Pete area almost every summer as kids so I thought maybe Lowry or Homossassa Springs, too...
@Ladybug2821 Siiiince you are in FL, do you have any daytrip suggestions a 6 month old and his two tired parents might enjoy? We are staying in central FL; I don't know how close you are to that general area. We plan to head to the Tampa/St. Pete area for a day to do the aquarium ('cause what kid doesn't love fish?) and Ft. DeSoto. Then we are doing a day in Orlando either at Disney Springs + resort hopping OR, if things work in my favor, soft openings of the new World of Pandora at Animal Kingdom.
This is a long shot, but I thought maybe you would have a few hidden gems up your sleeve
Side note: we used to go to the St. Pete area almost every summer as kids so I thought maybe Lowry or Homossassa Springs, too...
@kgridley27 I'm not very familiar with the Tampa area, but the aquarium does sound like fun. It already sounds like you have a better idea than what I would be able to tell you lol. We tend to stay away from the tourist stuff especially right now while S is an infant. We normally do community festivals like artscapes, food truck competitions, stuff like that. Disney Springs is just so congested. Disney Boardwalk tends to be less crowded and its a nice walk around the lake. H's cousins were just here and one of them has a 1 year old. They went to all the parks, LEGOLAND, and Disney Springs. I just don't think S is ready for all that quite yet. The Central Florida Zoo might be a good idea. That is somewhere I've been considering taking S.
@Kgridley27 I wish we could get him a new therapist! Honestly, I wish we could send him to his old therapist because I know her personally and she used to be the town's juvenile officer while I was a teenager- but she's moved on to older age groups. Unfortunately, his current therapist is our only option in that respect because she is the only one staffed right now. Medicaid covers his counseling since we're a low income family, so we have slim pickin's. "Beggars can't be choosers". And she is intended to be our family therapist, but she has a very hefty caseload due to her being responsible for ALL the elementary aged children/families in our school district.
FI is just as upset and frustrated as I am, especially as his biological parent, and he DOES discipline (when he is home, but he works and is gone up to 12 hours a day) in the form of lecturing and grounding him- but those things do not phase this kid at all. If he isn't scared, he isn't going to listen, and the only time he is scared is if he is facing a spanking. However, FI is skeptical to spank now since SS has already lied to social workers about "my dad broke my arm", when he fractured his wrist from falling out of a tree being a show-off for his cousins (WITNESSES), and we had to do a big court battle and investigation with CPS to get him back home out of foster care. He knows how to play the system now, and he held that over our heads and walked all over us for a few months, but I'm done with that crap and I WILL spank him. No child is going to disrespect me in MY home, or anywhere else for that matter.
@Ladybug2821 Oh girl, the back talking on top of the rest of his behavior drives me up the wall... They don't have any scared straight programs for his age group around here, he will be turning 10 in August. I DID however, find a military-style bootcamp close to the metro ran by a Baptist church, and they don't take it easy on the kids just because they're a church program. They take kids as young as 5 years old, so I called them to get more information about the lodging fees. After we hear back from them, that very well may be where dude gets to spend his summer. This has to be stopped before his teens. He likes to pick on people smaller than him and take advantage of size differences, and I'm worried that's going to cause issues when he outgrows me, especially with his dad working so much. If bootcamp doesn't work, I think the police station will be the next step, and I'll have them help us contact juvenile affairs.
Re: April Randoms
To be fair, B is not on a set nap schedule by the clock, and some days he's just not that into napping. Your H could be right that she's only sleepy at 5 some of the time regardless of how many times/for how long she has napped that day.
*ducks under the oncoming flames*
It is possible that he could be right sometimes lol. The most she can normally stay awake at a time is 2-2.5 hours without getting cranky. Sometimes he keeps her up longer and doesn't realize why she's fussy. She's not on a schedule either but I feel like I pay more attention to her cues. Lately, she's wanting to stay awake to play so those cues aren't as visible anymore even though she definitely needs a nap. But if I take her in her room as if I'm getting her ready for a nap, then she shows them. I will see how it goes tonight, but I do prefer the 7:00 bedtime if possible.
I complain about H way too much on here lol. I need to scale back
.
@kmolleltz Next week is the last week of April and as we get closer to May I just want to let you know I'm thinking of you often and praying for Abigail. Lean on us if you need to, we are here for you.
I have a BF. The lady that is going to be watching S suggested spending an hour with her here and there so she can get used to her. We need her Wednesday for the full day so we also planned for her to come over tomorrow for an hour. And I was going to enjoy a much needed nap. Well H's cousins are also in town and even though I had planned something with them today, they switched it up and changed it to tomorrow. I didn't make a big deal about it because I really do want to see them and have S meet them but I'm actually kind of irritated. I've been looking forward to that naps for a few days
Speaking of..... We went to a baby elephant orphanage today. Abigail was so exciting to touch an elephant!
He sees a therapist for his behavior, but it has done more harm than good- She tells him "Oh, you just have an impulse disorder and can't help yourself, even though you know its wrong". So now he has it in his head that it's okay for HIM to lie and steal because "he can't help it". I call bullshit on that, I also think it's a crappy byproduct of his mother's "raising" while he was with her watching her do it, and never having consequences when he did it. Even when you show him evidence of his lie or catch him red-handed stealing he will deny it until he's blue in the face and never shows even the slightest amount of regret or remorse, he only reacts WHILE he's being punished, then back to nothing at all.
This may seem controversial, and I don't care or want to get into a debate about it so please stay on subject, but I have started to spank him when he gets caught lying to us or stealing. (FI doesn't spank him due to recent events). I explained to him that he will be spanked when he is caught lying or stealing and that he is being selfish, dishonest, and disrespectful to his family and friends when he continues to behave that way. We have already tried "talking it out" and positive reinforcement, but he is just too lazy and selfish to earn anything or just behave... He wants whatever he wants whenever he wants it, regardless of who he may hurt in the process of getting it. It is enfuriating, especially since he knows all he has to do now is find the right sucker to tell how mean his parents are for disciplining him. I have been around a LOT of children in my lifetime, but not a one like him. I hate his mom for setting this example, and I know his teenage sisters are just as bad and no help in the situation.
I want to take him down to the police department and have THEM explain to him everything that is wrong with stealing and lying because nothing we or his therapist are doing is working. It makes me sad, and I know I've only been in his life for three years, but I feel like I am failing at something for it, and it is embarrassing because my family doesn't want to invite him over anymore because he has stolen from everybody and lied about it so much ;(
I know you gals are all FTMs, and I'm mostly just venting, but I'll take whatever feedback I can get. Sorry for the rant.
*end novel*
@AllyTheKid I can't even imagine how frustrating that must be. I do not have any personal experience in this vein but I will help any way I can. I'm assuming you posted some backstory on the BMB before I got here, but I'm not sure on the details so forgive my ignorance in advance.
Can you get him a new therapist that isn't just giving him excuses for his behavior? Failing that, do you think you guys/he would benefit from some family therapy sessions and/or one-on-one sessions with you/ you & FI to go over with her his behavior at home and ways to address it?
How does your FI react to all of this? Is the disciplining left mostly to you? I sure hope not.
I'm so sorry you're feeling like you are failing him. I know you are doing everything you can to give that kid a good life after what sounds like a very troubled start for him. One day maybe he'll see the light and look back on all you had to put up with. It's hard feeling unappreciated and ignored especially when you really do know what's best. Hang in there, mama. You got this!
@allythekid I think taking him to the police station or somehow getting in touch with juvenile services is a good idea. I wasn't even really a bad kid when I was a teen, but I did back talk to my mom every once in awhile. One day she made me mad, I back talked, and she said my friend couldn't come and spend the night. So I said "I'm leaving", and I just walked out the door and went down the street. Of course I really wasn't going anywhere. I didn't even take anything with me, but that was enough for my mom to contact juvenile services. I don't think I saw a police officer, but I had to see a juvenile services counselor every month. I was pulled out of class for this so my other classmates knew. I think a counselor specifically for lack of a better word, delinquents, would be a better fit for him. I also think a scared straight plan would be beneficial. I would definitely try to get the police involved and see how they can help. Good Luck! I know you are doing everything you can.
@Ladybug2821 Siiiince you are in FL, do you have any daytrip suggestions a 6 month old and his two tired parents might enjoy? We are staying in central FL. I don't know how close you are to that general area. We plan to head to the Tampa/St. Pete area for a day to do the aquarium ('cause what kid doesn't love fish?) and Ft. DeSoto. then we are doing a day in Orlando either at Disney Springs + resort hopping OR, if things work in my favor, soft openings of the new World of Pandora at Animal Kingdom.
This is a long shot, but I thought maybe you would have a few hidden gems up your sleeve
Side note: we used to go to the St. Pete area almost every summer as kids so I thought maybe Lowry or Homossassa Springs, too...
@Ladybug2821 Siiiince you are in FL, do you have any daytrip suggestions a 6 month old and his two tired parents might enjoy? We are staying in central FL. I don't know how close you are to that general area. We plan to head to the Tampa/St. Pete area for a day to do the aquarium ('cause what kid doesn't love fish?) and Ft. DeSoto. then we are doing a day in Orlando either at Disney Springs + resort hopping OR, if things work in my favor, soft openings of the new World of Pandora at Animal Kingdom.
This is a long shot, but I thought maybe you would have a few hidden gems up your sleeve
Side note: we used to go to the St. Pete area almost every summer as kids so I thought maybe Lowry or Homossassa Springs, too...
What on earth...sorry! I don't know what just happened. I guess I really wanted answers hahaha