@kns1988: Let's not forget that cats also walk through their business in a litter box and then walk all over people's kitchen counters where they do food prep. Just sayin.
Ugh I hate that, I trained my cat from 6 weeks old not to walk on the counter, if that hasn't worked I wouldn't have kept him inside, animals do NOT go anywhere near my food! I used to catch him there at our old house but he would only ever perch on the inch wide strip of bench in front of the sink so he could see out the window.
I knew someone that used to put their cats food on the counter... yuck! Makes me shudder thinking about it
Me - 22 | DH - 32 | Married - 24 May 2014 DS - January 2014
TTC#2 - December 2015
BFP - 6 March 2016 | MC Confirmed - 21 March 2016 TTCAL | April 2016 CP | June 2016 CP | July 2016
@PartiallyDomesticated: Shudders here too. Sink window gazing I could understand but purposefully allowing a cat on the counter (with its dinner), I just can't even!
I won't touch the BF vs formula with a 10 foot pole. Re: chiros. I find chiropractors to be less quacky than massage. I also put them at the same level as PT, which I find to be over used. I go to the chiropractor for my issues, but if I didn't get the relief I did, I would've tried PT. In the end, all the 3 really do is get some muscles to relax and others to tighten and strengthen back up.
A PT and a chiropractor are two entirely different professions. And just for reference I think chiropractors are a waste of time. A physical therapist REHABS patients for various medical conditions, most often after surgery. You would never go see a chiropractor after you've had a total knee replacement, ACL tear, hip replacement, etc. Their goal is to rehab and strengthen the muscle or joint to prevent further damage or pain. I know quite a few PTs who would be highly offended to be considered "the same as a chiropractor"! Lol
I guess to clarify, I do know there is a difference between the two professions. I have worked with both PT and OT in a past profession. Chiropractors also work to help strengthen muscle and prevent more damage and pain, they are not always just cranking on you to crack whatever they can. Each profession just has their own place.
I have mixed feelings about the chiropractor. My son had reflux and possibly colic as an infant and some ladies on my other birth month board took their baby and they said it helped immensely. I did a lot of research to find a reputable chiropractor and I took him in 1 time. My son used to favor one of his arms and hold it out in a weird way, which I just thought he would grow out. Anyway, at the appointment I was very nervous and watched the woman like a hawk... without me saying anything she asked about his arm and if anything happened during delivery. It was then I remembered that he came out with that arm sticking straight out, so something got displaced. She did some gentle massages or "adjustments".. at the time I thought ok this lady isn't doing anything... after the appointment I noticed my son stopped favoring his arm and was using it normally. Now, the reflux did not change maybe because I didn't keep going back. She told me to come back 2-3x a week for a couple weeks, which I did not. If I have another baby that has colic and seems uncomfortable all the time, I might consider taking them in as well.
Maybe this isn't super unpopular, but it's spurred by a conversation with my MIL and 5 SILs...I don't think that children should be privy to parents extreme dieting or self image issues. My MIL is a serial dieter that has obsessed over her weight and been on some fad diet most of her life. It has clearly helped to create a number of body images issues and eating disorders in her 5 daughters and it makes me really sad.
I couldn't agree more! I recently watched the HBO documentary "Thin" that follows a few girls undergoing treatment for eating disorders. It was so sad to see how many had disorders that started with their parents actions.
@saric83 - Big houses are so overrated! And this is coming from someone with a larger home. When we bought our house we went in with the mindset of finding our "forever" home since we could afford it at the time and were planning on having 4 kids relatively quickly, so we got a 5 bd, 3400 sq ft home. You don't even know how many times I have regretted it. Being a SAHM means I get the joy of cleaning the whole thing and it sucks!! I'm already to the point of wanting to downsize.
I have a BIL who just bought a 5900 sq ft home for his family of 3 and my first thought was that they had no clue what they were in for, but hey, live and learn, right?
Me: 38 DH: 36 Married 8/27/2011 BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012 BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014 BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017 BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
As a teacher, I'd never be able to pick out the kids who were breastfed or not. The only time it sometimes gets brought to my attention is during the social history part of the evaluation...and even then, I don't think that information is necessary.
*snip*
I had a friend who applied to get her son into a private kindergarten and the application not only asked if he had been breastfed (and if so, how long) but also whether his birth was vaginal or cesarean and what type of pain medication was used, if any. I was so confused (and still am) as to how any of this was relevant. I'm not sure I'd want to send my kid to a place that would feel okay asking (and no doubt judging) such things.
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
As a teacher, I'd never be able to pick out the kids who were breastfed or not. The only time it sometimes gets brought to my attention is during the social history part of the evaluation...and even then, I don't think that information is necessary.
*snip*
I had a friend who applied to get her son into a private kindergarten and the application not only asked if he had been breastfed (and if so, how long) but also whether his birth was vaginal or cesarean and what type of pain medication was used, if any. I was so confused (and still am) as to how any of this was relevant. I'm not sure I'd want to send my kid to a place that would feel okay asking (and no doubt judging) such things.
That is insane! I can't believe a school would have any reason to ask these things let alone think it's ok to ask them!
As a teacher, I'd never be able to pick out the kids who were breastfed or not. The only time it sometimes gets brought to my attention is during the social history part of the evaluation...and even then, I don't think that information is necessary.
*snip*
I had a friend who applied to get her son into a private kindergarten and the application not only asked if he had been breastfed (and if so, how long) but also whether his birth was vaginal or cesarean and what type of pain medication was used, if any. I was so confused (and still am) as to how any of this was relevant. I'm not sure I'd want to send my kid to a place that would feel okay asking (and no doubt judging) such things.
I'm surprised those questions can legally be asked, with privacy laws and such. The only time I've been asked about BF/FF has been at the dentist.
A bit late to the party, but let's see if I can remember everything...
BF v FF: do what's right for your body, your family, and your baby. Try or don't try, that's up to you! Baby just needs to be fed! I've mentioned this several times, but here goes again...I don't think I will like BFing, or pumping for that matter, but I'm going to try and if it doesn't work out its not the end of the world. My mom just bought some soy formula since that's what I had to have and a client of her's turns out to be a baby nutritionist and thinks that since I had to be fed soy that baby will probably need to as well if we go the formula route. I'll probably buy more at some point because, again, baby's gotta eat! The nutritionist also said that around 2-3 weeks to add some of the formula to the breast milk if you are pumping and that will help you feel better know the baby is getting everything he/she needs. I'm sure I'll be asking her more questions!
House: I don't get it either...I mean it might be nice to have more room, but that means more cleaning and organizing and I'm just not up for that if we don't need it.
Chiropractor, PT, OT: Not a fan of the chiropractor. Had a horrible experience and probably will never do it again. But who am I to judge?! If it works for you, by all means go for it! I've done PT twice and for me that's just works better. It may take a little longer, but I'm more comfortable rehabbing something vs just shoving something back into place (I know that's not exactly what happens, but ya know what I mean).
Al in all, do what works for you and don't judge others. You don't know their situation or their past experiences. You know your body better than anyone else, so why not trust it and leave everyone else alone!?
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
As a teacher, I'd never be able to pick out the kids who were breastfed or not. The only time it sometimes gets brought to my attention is during the social history part of the evaluation...and even then, I don't think that information is necessary.
*snip*
I had a friend who applied to get her son into a private kindergarten and the application not only asked if he had been breastfed (and if so, how long) but also whether his birth was vaginal or cesarean and what type of pain medication was used, if any. I was so confused (and still am) as to how any of this was relevant. I'm not sure I'd want to send my kid to a place that would feel okay asking (and no doubt judging) such things.
I'm surprised those questions can legally be asked, with privacy laws and such. The only time I've been asked about BF/FF has been at the dentist.
I'm guessing they can ask whatever they'd like, since it's a private school. Thankfully, my friend was equally as weirded out and didn't go past that stage in the application process...haha
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
I tend to disbelieve the degree to which studies claim BF vs FF affects a child intellectually. There are SO MANY factors at play here, and none of these studies are very controlled. Lets face it: being able to BF for a year or more is a privilege that many lower income families cannot do. You need a breast pump, a reliable place to keep stored milk, a job that allows time to pump and a place to store, support at home to help during all the hours spent nursing/pumping, time at home after baby is born to establish a supply with baby, etc and the list goes on and on. Sure, formula is expensive but the opportunity cost to BF can be really high for families that rely on two (or more with multiple jobs) incomes to get by.
On the other hand, many moms with the most success breastfeeding are SAHMs or have really good support systems in place to make BF/pumping possible for them. These women also tend to have better systems in place for early education in the home, good diets once the child relies on food for calories, helping with homework after school, and often the economic ability to pick above-average childcare, education, etc. I think its absurd to think that BF vs FF is the only thing affecting these children's IQs, grades, success, etc.
Also, as a grown up FF baby, I like to think I'm pretty smart and also pretty successful. So many people in my generation were FF and grew up to be pretty great people. Don't get me wrong, I plan to try BF but if it doesn't work out, I know that giving my child nutrition is the most important factor.
On the other hand, many moms with the most success breastfeeding are SAHMs or have really good support systems in place to make BF/pumping possible for them. These women also tend to have better systems in place for early education in the home, good diets once the child relies on food for calories, helping with homework after school, and often the economic ability to pick above-average childcare, education, etc. I think its absurd to think that BF vs FF is the only thing affecting these children's IQs, grades, success, etc.
Hold up. WHAAAAA?
SAHM has what to do with early childhood educational opportunities and nutrition? Nada.
On the other hand, many moms with the most success breastfeeding are SAHMs or have really good support systems in place to make BF/pumping possible for them. These women also tend to have better systems in place for early education in the home, good diets once the child relies on food for calories, helping with homework after school, and often the economic ability to pick above-average childcare, education, etc. I think its absurd to think that BF vs FF is the only thing affecting these children's IQs, grades, success, etc.
Hold up. WHAAAAA?
SAHM has what to do with early childhood educational opportunities and nutrition? Nada.
I think it's fair to say that SAHMs or moms who have really good support systems tend to have the time/resources that make good nutrition/educational choices easier to obtain. For example, a single, working mother would not be likely to have the financial resources or support from a partner which would make many aspects of parenting easier. This is not to say that single moms can't be kick ass, but they definitely have to work harder to get the same advantages that other families may have when it comes to affording nutritious food (or living in areas that aren't food deserts) or living in good school districts. It's an unfortunate reality, but I don't think @ShadeofGreen816 was trying to insult working moms or say SAHMs are better in any way.
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
Eh. I'm a SAHM. I EBF'd DD for 6 months and slowly cut that down to once a day until we stopped at 23 months. DD is a picky eater, wears glasses, and is speech delayed. There's no one cookie cutter for any demographic or situation.
The only people that have asked about the pregnancy, her birth, and infant feeding are her pedi, ophthal, and I think Early Intervention asked about birth only when she was being evaluated for speech, and I think they just asked if there were any pregnancy or birth complications that could have had any impact on development etc. The school district asked milestone only questions on the preschool application. I considered all the above to be reasonable. I would not answer anything I felt was irrelevant to their role and/or was not their business.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
On the other hand, many moms with the most success breastfeeding are SAHMs or have really good support systems in place to make BF/pumping possible for them. These women also tend to have better systems in place for early education in the home, good diets once the child relies on food for calories, helping with homework after school, and often the economic ability to pick above-average childcare, education, etc. I think its absurd to think that BF vs FF is the only thing affecting these children's IQs, grades, success, etc.
Hold up. WHAAAAA?
SAHM has what to do with early childhood educational opportunities and nutrition? Nada.
I think it's fair to say that SAHMs or moms who have really good support systems tend to have the time/resources that make good nutrition/educational choices easier to obtain. For example, a single, working mother would not be likely to have the financial resources or support from a partner which would make many aspects of parenting easier. This is not to say that single moms can't be kick ass, but they definitely have to work harder to get the same advantages that other families may have when it comes to affording nutritious food (or living in areas that aren't food deserts) or living in good school districts. It's an unfortunate reality, but I don't think @ShadeofGreen816 was trying to insult working moms or say SAHMs are better in any way.
I kind of agree. I work with many SAHM and most are low income. They often struggle with making the best choice for their children due to their low SES and lack of support. I'm not sure that being a SAHM equates to anything, but I do think your income status and support is beneficial.
As a teacher, I judge parents who baby their kids and don't believe the school when their precious little angels act terrible. Or they believe it, but don't think their kid should be in trouble until I name all other kids who contributed to the problem. (I can't legally do that.) I can't help but think, "Wow, so when your kid grows up and gets arrested, you think asking who else did it will get the judge to lessen the punishment?"
That opinion may not be unpopular enough for this thread, so here's another: I get scared of wasps, and the last time I killed one in a scared panic, the extreme animal lover that I am, I cried in regret and felt so guilty for not trapping and releasing it.
Oh I certainly did not mean to imply that SAHMs raise more intelligent kids or shame any choice a parent makes about their employment. I plan to work. I just meant that upper-middle class families that have support systems are more likely to successfully BF and more likely to have the time and resources to put things in place to make their kids more successful. This makes it LOOK like BF gives kids a leg up when I'm not really convinced. There are just so many other factors at play and I think the importance of these studies is slightly over-estimated. It's great to encourage everyone to BF but it doesn't make sense for a lot of families for a lot of reasons.
Ah yeah I got you then @ShadeofGreen816. BF may be a proxy variable of sorts actually representing other unnamed more causal or correlating factors. Sorry, I am having an off day and was hangry, I saw the SAHM thing and it kind of derailed me!
@Kipperoo Realized I didn't give you a verbal high five for the community college comment. DS was a Sam's club formula baby and this one likely will be too before long. Your comment made me giggle.
Another interesting point about the BF vs. FF is the beliefs of other cultures. Many cultures and countries have come to believe that breastfeeding is a sign that you're poor and formula is best because it means you can provide "more" for your children. I think as discussed above, social standing and incomes impact the studies, "results", and belief of BF vs ff more than the actual act of BF and ff. American culture though generally allows for more affluent families to be more successful with long term BF. The same reasons why those families can usually BF longer and more successfully also lend to traits that raise more successful children in education and social skills. Not that money leads to success. But usually money indicates more educated parents and possibly a sahm which usually indicates a more involved parent.
As an early childhood educator, I've never considered whether a child was BF or ff but I do tend to notice the difference in family education levels, income, and family support when looking at the success of children. (Success =/= higher intelligence btw in an early childhood setting. I mean success as risk taking, perseverance when faced with challenges, social skills, and growth) All factors which as we said support the success of BF. Im rambling but my basic hypothesis is that parents and families that are fortunate enough to have the time, resources, and support to BF long term also have the time, resources, and support to be more involved in their children's education which more often than not leads to more successful children. That doesn't mean that BF led to A successful child in school. *note to add that obviously correlation does not equal causation.
I hope hope that made sense. I'm better at vocalizing than typing.
TTC1: May 2015
Primary IF May 2016; Failed HSG; Scheduled Lap Sept. 2016
Re: UO 4/20/17
I knew someone that used to put their cats food on the counter... yuck! Makes me shudder thinking about it
DS - January 2014
TTCAL | April 2016
CP | June 2016
CP | July 2016
I have a BIL who just bought a 5900 sq ft home for his family of 3 and my first thought was that they had no clue what they were in for, but hey, live and learn, right?
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
I had a friend who applied to get her son into a private kindergarten and the application not only asked if he had been breastfed (and if so, how long) but also whether his birth was vaginal or cesarean and what type of pain medication was used, if any. I was so confused (and still am) as to how any of this was relevant. I'm not sure I'd want to send my kid to a place that would feel okay asking (and no doubt judging) such things.
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
BF v FF: do what's right for your body, your family, and your baby. Try or don't try, that's up to you! Baby just needs to be fed! I've mentioned this several times, but here goes again...I don't think I will like BFing, or pumping for that matter, but I'm going to try and if it doesn't work out its not the end of the world. My mom just bought some soy formula since that's what I had to have and a client of her's turns out to be a baby nutritionist and thinks that since I had to be fed soy that baby will probably need to as well if we go the formula route. I'll probably buy more at some point because, again, baby's gotta eat! The nutritionist also said that around 2-3 weeks to add some of the formula to the breast milk if you are pumping and that will help you feel better know the baby is getting everything he/she needs. I'm sure I'll be asking her more questions!
House: I don't get it either...I mean it might be nice to have more room, but that means more cleaning and organizing and I'm just not up for that if we don't need it.
Chiropractor, PT, OT: Not a fan of the chiropractor. Had a horrible experience and probably will never do it again. But who am I to judge?! If it works for you, by all means go for it! I've done PT twice and for me that's just works better. It may take a little longer, but I'm more comfortable rehabbing something vs just shoving something back into place (I know that's not exactly what happens, but ya know what I mean).
Al in all, do what works for you and don't judge others. You don't know their situation or their past experiences. You know your body better than anyone else, so why not trust it and leave everyone else alone!?
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
On the other hand, many moms with the most success breastfeeding are SAHMs or have really good support systems in place to make BF/pumping possible for them. These women also tend to have better systems in place for early education in the home, good diets once the child relies on food for calories, helping with homework after school, and often the economic ability to pick above-average childcare, education, etc. I think its absurd to think that BF vs FF is the only thing affecting these children's IQs, grades, success, etc.
Sorry... end rant.
SAHM has what to do with early childhood educational opportunities and nutrition? Nada.
May '17 labor memes
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
The only people that have asked about the pregnancy, her birth, and infant feeding are her pedi, ophthal, and I think Early Intervention asked about birth only when she was being evaluated for speech, and I think they just asked if there were any pregnancy or birth complications that could have had any impact on development etc. The school district asked milestone only questions on the preschool application. I considered all the above to be reasonable. I would not answer anything I felt was irrelevant to their role and/or was not their business.
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
I work with many SAHM and most are low income. They often struggle with making the best choice for their children due to their low SES and lack of support.
I'm not sure that being a SAHM equates to anything, but I do think your income status and support is beneficial.
That opinion may not be unpopular enough for this thread, so here's another: I get scared of wasps, and the last time I killed one in a scared panic, the extreme animal lover that I am, I cried in regret and felt so guilty for not trapping and releasing it.
May '17 labor memes
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
American culture though generally allows for more affluent families to be more successful with long term BF. The same reasons why those families can usually BF longer and more successfully also lend to traits that raise more successful children in education and social skills. Not that money leads to success. But usually money indicates more educated parents and possibly a sahm which usually indicates a more involved parent.
As an early childhood educator, I've never considered whether a child was BF or ff but I do tend to notice the difference in family education levels, income, and family support when looking at the success of children. (Success =/= higher intelligence btw in an early childhood setting. I mean success as risk taking, perseverance when faced with challenges, social skills, and growth) All factors which as we said support the success of BF.
Im rambling but my basic hypothesis is that parents and families that are fortunate enough to have the time, resources, and support to BF long term also have the time, resources, and support to be more involved in their children's education which more often than not leads to more successful children. That doesn't mean that BF led to A successful child in school.
*note to add that obviously correlation does not equal causation.
I hope hope that made sense. I'm better at vocalizing than typing.