Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
labby18
member
Re: UO Thursday 4/20
Of course, the primary problem is that we ridiculously expect kids to activate" at 5 years old and all be ready to read, sound words out to write them, add, and subtract. But, if they can't do those things they will not be successful in 1st grade, and then struggle in 2nd (if they make it there.)
Boom.
Flame away.
DH and I both stayed back in 1st grade, and the delay made a HUGE difference for both of us.
Agreed. It's the equivalent of a man wearing a wife beater as a shirt. It's called an undershirt for a reason.
My UO: I hate the idea of elaborate and expensive push presents. I think it's something else "the industry" made up to make people spend money, and feel badly if they don't.
Your life must be sad
Umm...what are push presents??
@jena333-2 push presents make me mad. They're ridiculous.. pretty sure the push present is the baby.
The term is really annoying to me " Push presents"? its just off putting.
June Siggy Challenge: Workout
Since I am moving to Texas I was researching for this baby. OMG, school starts at 5 but he has to be 5 before September 1st to go into kindergarten. Which means he won't start any schooling until he is 6 and that will be kindergarten unless he is 11 days early.
DS #1 [S-5]
3 Step Daughters [A-8] [E-6] [I-4]
Baby #2 09/10/2017
It's a BOY!
Babywearer&EBF
The end.
love you all.
DS #1 [S-5]
3 Step Daughters [A-8] [E-6] [I-4]
Baby #2 09/10/2017
It's a BOY!
Babywearer&EBF
1. I refuse to watch 13 Reasons Why. I don't really care how "awesome" of a show it is. I have had far too many friends commit suicide, and I have personally caught someone MID suicide and saved their life. I have no desire to watch this show. I still have PTSD from saving his life. I can't deal with the smell of car exhaust.
2. I don't understand why adults are posting things about "420" and how they are "celebrating" it on Facebook. Do you realize that it's the internet? Some of our friends ARE POLICE OFFICERS. Why would you post on the internet the illicit drugs you do? (Weed is illegal where I live & where I grew up). I think it's childish, immature, irresponsible, etc.
3. I don't like Lularoe.
I can eat icing straight by itself. YUM.
I don't care when people wear spaghetti straps or wife beaters in public. Other people's clothes generally don't bother me but I also wear leggings (with a covered butt) like 5 days a week so there's that.
I would never demand or expect a present for giving birth but I'm never one to turn down a gift so if DH feels the need to get me something, I will gladly accept it. I agree that "push present" kind of makes me cringe, though.
I can't think of my own UO right now!
Me & DH: 31 | Married: 5.4.13 | TTC: April 2016 | BFP: 1.8.17 | EDD: 9.13.17
@wyomama0427 That's so sweet of your husband!!!
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
They are basically a gift that SO gives mama for all her hard work of birthing the baby. With my first, a friend's wife told him that he better be getting me a push present and it better have diamonds (and she is a really large, really intimidating woman - think Brienne of Tarth from GOT - so it was more of a threat than a suggestion). Anyone who knows me knows that I don't ever wear diamonds and I'm not really a good receiver of gifts, so it was a silly suggestion to begin with. Besides isn't the baby the gift? I mean that's what we've been working on for so long. But then, on our way home DH stopped and bought me sushi because it's my favorite and I hadn't eaten it in almost a year. So I decided that a gift is absolutely mandatory, but only if it is delicious food that you haven't been allowed to eat for months and months. On another note, calling it a "push present" is not ok. As if only the act of pushing deserves recognition and screw the ladies whose babies come into the world in other ways.
@labby18 I read an article not too long ago (I don't remember where) written by a woman who had attempted suicide in high school and who recently watched 13 Reasons Why. She talked a lot about how it was re-traumatizing for her because it is so spot on in reflecting her own experiences. She strongly encouraged anyone with a history of suicidal ideation, or with loved ones who have committed/attempted suicide, to completely avoid the show.
Married 2013
Kiddo #1: Sept 2015
BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30
"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
Also, I get that Aaron Hernandez was a murderer, but all these memes celebrating that he took his own life is pathetic. All it does is foster the idea in someone's head that "Everyone is happy that he did it and he's famous, they probably would be happy if i did it too or wouldn't even care". Do you really want to spread that kind of message?
*end rant*
ETA: SORRY FOR BEING A DEBBIE DOWNER. I didn't mean to be like boom super serious.
When I was a baby, I was allergic to a lot of fruit, so the ONLY thing I could drink was milk or water. So once I was able to drink other things, I was like Eff that noise, I'm not going back. I do love water tho. IDK, I only drink milk when I eat a PB&J sandwich, or in my coffee, or in the form of icecream. My brother is also mildly lactose intolerant, so that may have also contributing to my lack of milk drinking. Also, I apparently say it funny, my dad is from Pittsburgh, so some of that accent has rolled over into how I say certain words...DH teases me about it. Apparently, I say "Melk" or "Mulk" instead of "Milk"...according to DH.
My UO is that I did not like La La Land and I am thrilled it did not actually win the Oscar for Best Picture. (I think this is an unpopular opinion, although I know I'm not totally alone in it.)
I love frosting and could also eat it straight. I actually wont go to a specific cupcake shop in town because they don't put enough frosting on their cupcakes.
I love all sweets, bring on the cookies, ice cream and pie. I would rather have chocolate cream or French silk pie over fruit pie.
I don't mind push presents. I joked with DH about it when I was pregnant with DD. Mainly because I really wanted a new Pandora Bead for the baby. He had already bought it before I even mentioned anything. I just think its nice to be appreciated by DH/SO. What @wyomama0427's H did was super nice and perfect. We did get presents for our other two kids from the baby, and we will do that again.
I haven't watched 13 Reasons Why yet, but I will probably be watching it soon. I hope it isn't a trigger for me. DD 1 has talked about it and apparently has been watching it, so I like to watch some of the same stuff so I can connect with her.
My UO is that I hate when people ask "Do you know what the baby will be?" Or when people refer to the baby as IT. It is a baby, and I will be having a baby. If you want to know the sex, then ask, "Do you know the sex?" or "Do you know if you are having a boy or girl?"
i was asked "when do you find out what it is?" i replied "oh, my baby is a human, won't know if my baby is a boy or girl for a little longer"
my response to "what do you want it to be?" is..."well, i hope it's a human, if not, I'll take some more kittens."
also to be a jerk i sometimes just respond **TW** "I just want my baby to be healthy. After multiple losses, to be so selfish and want a specific sex of a baby just doesn't appeal to me."
all of which catch people off guard and they usually reword their question.
eta: I saw a "Hoping it's a Kitten" shirt and OMG I WANT IT.
I can't with yall today with these food opinions.
Yes. I haven't gotten the question a lot with this pregnancy, but with DD, I heard it so much I started responding with, "Well we are hoping the baby is a human, but the dad is a vampire, so its a 50/50 chance."
@mrs_tacos I've seen that shirt and I want it!
On Easter everyone took it upon themselves to let us know that we are definitely having a boy and DH got so annoyed when he was asked for the 1000th time what he wants, he started saying that he hoped it was a dinosaur. This went over REAL well with my family. lol
P.S. I tried to quote and failed, it cannot be that hard right?