March 2017 Moms

Weekly bitch fest (4/3)

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Re: Weekly bitch fest (4/3)

  • @kjd291 my husband tries really hard to help out around the house when he's home, but doesn't seem to get that all I want him to do is take a damn baby from me!  In a past life I would have been THRILLED to have him cook me dinner.  Now all I think about is, you just spent 45 minutes in the kitchen when I would have been so happy to eat cereal for dinner or order takeout if it meant you'd help with the twins!  And then I feel bad because he IS trying, and when I complain he's like, but I made dinner!  But like you said, even a 5 minute break is something.  

  • +1 for frustration with my husband.

    Mine is disabled, so it can be difficult for him to
    help. We haven't figured out diaper changes for
    him (imagine trying to change a diaper from a sitting position, leaning forward, having to use one hand to balance yourself.) Plus we're doing cloth diapers, so while I find them just as easy as disposables, he finds them intimidating and gross (you mean you wash them in the same washer that you clean my clothes in!?!)

    He is definitely able to help feed them. Unfortunately he chooses not to. He has taken to hanging in his office 24-7 (he works from home). He wears headphones and blares music so that even if I need his help he can't hear me. I have to drag myself into his office to ask him to help (a waste when sometimes all I need is a burp cloth, or for him to hold one of the fussy babies so I can use the bathroom. A couple days he didn't even see them... even though he was in the same house as them all day.

    He has also taken to making comments, "They have been so crabby." Or "They were up every 3 hours last night" uh huh, they're babies. Unless you care to help with them, please refrain from commenting about their behavior.

    I've been fortunate that my mom has come to help quite frequently. She has been coming every few nights to do the overnight shift so that I can get some sleep! When she comes to help my husband stays up til 3-4 am playing computer games... why!? I feel like my mom is my spouse right now. She is more interested in helping me and spending time with my kids.

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  • @anonellis I'll never be able to fully compare-but I can't imagine it's easy with the two newborns! I know two of their own ages is so hard! I'm sure it doesn't help everyone probably keeps telling you it'll get easier as they get older.   I think communication is key with boys-unless you tell them exactly what you want-you aren't gonna get it. 

    HAH. Ding dong ditch. That's awesome. I do it much more with the toddler. Poopy diaper? nose goes! 

    And nooooo. MIL assistance is not a help. Oh man. These men. 
  • +1 to how hard putting the older kid down plus baby around. DH is an amazing help, but all his grad school stuff takes him away in the evenings (and then keeps him up late at night so I don't wake him up for night feedings.) Yesterday he had a really rough client at his practicum site, and then got home when I was giving DS1 a bath, Atticus screaming because being put down isn't a thing right now. It was 7 pm at this point and DH hadn't eaten since 10 am so I couldn't ask him to help and just sent him downstairs to eat and get started on his hw that he was up until midnight doing anyway. Tonight he won't be home until 7 or so again. Grad school's dumb. Don't do it, kids.
    Alex
    married to M since 6.13.09
    T - 3.3.14
    A - 2.24.17
  • Sorry you're stuck doing so much solo moming too @datalover13

    @direwolfmini it's sad but true-husbands very easily turn into just another but kid when you're exausted, in full mom mode, and feel like they're just another body in the house you're taking care of-hang in there!!
  • @kjd291 yes to solo parenting! He's great with my oldest DD... When he's not busy with this or that. Yesterday he traveled 5 hours away to Toronto for the hockey game and got back at 430am! I couldn't get DD1 to bed until 1130!!! It was driving me crazy.. 

    @korpisar SO's solution for everything in the world is to call his mom to help me! He doesn't get that I want HIS help not his moms, as much as I love her and she's great. 
  • Wow, my DH. My first daughter had horrible fussy time/witching hour for about 5 weeks when she was a newborn. She'd cry for three hours straight sometimes and then around 8 weeks she just stopped cold turkey. This new baby has now been starting to get a little fussy in the evenings and H just told me if she gets really out of hand like DD1 did that I should probably ask for some advice from someone who doesn't have these problems. So essentially accusing me of fussy time being a product of me not being a good parent. Wtf. I told him to go read a baby book or research the witching hour and tried explaining about the "fourth trimester" but he basically blew me off. 
    My husband is constantly doubting me when I say stuff, especially about my sonsc clubfoot treatment. I'm like, how much research have you done about this? How many hours online? How many books? Oh none? Well then you must be the expert. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • +1 for frustration with my husband.

    Mine is disabled, so it can be difficult for him to
    help. We haven't figured out diaper changes for
    him (imagine trying to change a diaper from a sitting position, leaning forward, having to use one hand to balance yourself.) Plus we're doing cloth diapers, so while I find them just as easy as disposables, he finds them intimidating and gross (you mean you wash them in the same washer that you clean my clothes in!?!)

    He is definitely able to help feed them. Unfortunately he chooses not to. He has taken to hanging in his office 24-7 (he works from home). He wears headphones and blares music so that even if I need his help he can't hear me. I have to drag myself into his office to ask him to help (a waste when sometimes all I need is a burp cloth, or for him to hold one of the fussy babies so I can use the bathroom. A couple days he didn't even see them... even though he was in the same house as them all day.

    He has also taken to making comments, "They have been so crabby." Or "They were up every 3 hours last night" uh huh, they're babies. Unless you care to help with them, please refrain from commenting about their behavior.

    I've been fortunate that my mom has come to help quite frequently. She has been coming every few nights to do the overnight shift so that I can get some sleep! When she comes to help my husband stays up til 3-4 am playing computer games... why!? I feel like my mom is my spouse right now. She is more interested in helping me and spending time with my kids.

    Wtaf re: the bolded. I have no words.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @direwolfmini so sorry girl. I know you are working your butt off caring for those boys, hope your DH doesn't miss out completely.  Hugs!
  • kiyamurphkiyamurph member
    edited April 2017
    @triwellnessgirl Aw hell no! I know people make honest mistakes, but that's just unforgivable. I'm so sorry!

    @direwolfmini So glad you and your husband had a come to Jesus moment because I was really sitting here getting fired up on your behalf. There's no excuse for living in the same house and not seeing your kids for 2 days. I'm normally very laid back and easy going but I would go full on ape shit if my husband pulled something like that. Hopefully he got the message and will continue to do his job of being a parent. I swear sometimes men just do not get it. 
  • @direwolfmini I'm sorry your DH is being such a dbag. He's going to look back and completely regret how he's acting.

    @triwellnessgirl when my nephew was born, my sister and I were teens (16 and 14). Any time either of us were out with him, we'd get looks and teen mom comments. My mom would also get confused as mom instead of grandma, so the opposite of your issue. However she was a 38 year old grandma, so it makes sense for her to be mom.
    Team Green turned Pink!
    Samantha - 4/5/2017

  • @triwellnessgirl oh heck nooo!! I bet she's the same lady that would ask a pregnant lady if she was having twins. :eye roll:  we've all seen you and you're no grandmama! 
  • This is about DH-

    This morning Molly was fussy. I'm pumping, DH is on his iPad playing a game. He proceeds to say "in a minute, let me finish this." I almost stopped pumping to punch him in the face. Like an iPad game is more important than your child?! 

    ugh - he also keeps leaving the damn toilet seat up. He was doing well until about 4 days ago. I stopped bitching but now he has 2 women in the house. Put the f***ing seat down! It's not difficult. 

    Also he never follows though with any task. He would do something but leave all the stuff he used out so then I have to pick it up. 

    For real this man has gotten on my nerves since 7 am.
    ME: 34
    DH: 37
    DD: 03/17/17
    DS: 12/06/19
  • @mecoats grr- the toilet seat thing grinds my gears too. DH doesn't usually do it, but he did a few times when I was really pregnant and my belly too big to really get a clear look at what was going on and I basically fell in. So rude!
  • @mecoats DS1 leaves the seat up all the time! In the middle of the night I almost fall in the toilet sometimes. It's very irritating. Sorry DH is being annoying.
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  • My husband doesn't put the seat up and I know he doesn't pee sitting haha... underneath really doesn't get dirty. Now I'm wondering if he has good aim or it's just something they say for little boys so pee doesn't get all over. 
    For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him.
    1 Samuel 1:27
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  • I've gotten in the habit of checking. But it's incredibly irritating. 
    ME: 34
    DH: 37
    DD: 03/17/17
    DS: 12/06/19
  • Is it weird that my DH does pee sitting down? Apparently he has done this for who knows how long and I mean it makes sense...it's a lot cleaner this way and bonus, the seat is always down! He still pees standing up in public restrooms btw.
  • @Spartanrd4 my DH does too sometimes. I think it's laziness. 
    ME: 34
    DH: 37
    DD: 03/17/17
    DS: 12/06/19
  • @Spartanrd4 @mecoats have you ever seen Curb your enthusiasm? DH & I have been rewatching every episode the last couple weeks...Larry David does this in the show giving the reason he doesn't want to turn the light on in the middle of the night when he has to go so it's easier to sit than guess where he's aiming lol
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  • @Spartanrd4 DH doesn't, but DS does. Was just how he learned easiest and we haven't pushed standing to pee because I'm sure it'll be much messier lol
    Alex
    married to M since 6.13.09
    T - 3.3.14
    A - 2.24.17
  • My not even three weeker is already 9.5 lbs and fitting into some 3 month clothes. Guess she's following in the footsteps of my 35 lb 2 year old. I just feel robbed of the baby phase since my kids get large so quickly. :(
  • My not even three weeker is already 9.5 lbs and fitting into some 3 month clothes. Guess she's following in the footsteps of my 35 lb 2 year old. I just feel robbed of the baby phase since my kids get large so quickly. :(
    Mine too!! At my breastfeeding group last week she weighed in at 9lbs 6oz and measured over 22 inches at the pedi appt last Monday. She was 3 weeks. She's now transitioning into 3mo clothes! One of her NB dresses wouldn't even button in the back yesterday!!! :(
  • @Ivorytower2 I feel the same way! My DD was 9lbs 3oz at her 2 week checkup and she never did fit in half the NB clothes we had! How can they be so little but seem so big?!

    Me: 26 Hubs: 28

    Married: 6/6/15 <3

    Baby Girl: 3/22/2017


  • Ugh sounds like I am in the same boat as so many of you! My husband gets home from work, cuddles the baby for about 2 minutes, and then hands him off to me again. Clearly you think taking care of our son is work, dude, so why won't you let me take a break from the work I've been doing all day? And hang out with your mini-me?? He will help out if I ask something really specific, like "please change Sam's diaper so I can drink a glass of water before nursing him again," but it always takes a few times of asking for him to step away from the TV/laptop/tablet/etc. 

    I've started reading a book called "How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids" and it seems like it has a lot of positive ideas and techniques to implement... hopefully it will help. 


    @triwellnessgirl I am the oldest child in a big family, so there are 13 years between my youngest sister and me. I had to help my mom out a lot and I distinctly remember being in the grocery store, and my mom had stepped away, so it was just me pushing the cart with a baby in it. A random man stopped in the middle of the aisle to LECTURE ME about my life choices and that I was far too young to have had sex and made a baby. I WAS THIRTEEN. HE WAS A STRANGER. He left before my mom got back to the cart or she might have smacked him for me. :( 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    *TW* - BFP & MC in March 2016.
    BFP in June 2016; EDD March 2017.
    Samuel born February 2017! 

  • My not even three weeker is already 9.5 lbs and fitting into some 3 month clothes. Guess she's following in the footsteps of my 35 lb 2 year old. I just feel robbed of the baby phase since my kids get large so quickly. :(


    This LO is growing like crazy too! Almost hitting 10 pounds at 4 weeks and fitting in some 3 month clothes!! (Born 7.5 lbs) Meanwhile her 3.5 year old sister is having a hard time pushing to 30 pounds lol we joked that her little sister is going to be as big as her by the age of 2. 
  • One of my co-workers texted me today to see if I had time to "chat" about some "work news" tomorrow. She actually reports to me and I know there is a job open in the company in another dept that I was worried she would apply for. And I wouldn't blame her, it's a position I can't offer her on our team because of the way our dept is strctured, and I can only promote her one level up at a time and this is a bigger jump for her. I would never stand in her way, but getting this news while I'm out until July on leave is slready stressing me out and I don't even know for sure if that's what she wants to tell me!! If she leaves while I'm out I have no coverage and it will be a shitshow when I get back. Ugh. Just when I was starting to not think about work at all. And if that's NOT what she wants to talk about, it better be a good reason for me to take a call about work with an 11 day old! 
  • My not even three weeker is already 9.5 lbs and fitting into some 3 month clothes. Guess she's following in the footsteps of my 35 lb 2 year old. I just feel robbed of the baby phase since my kids get large so quickly. :(


    This LO is growing like crazy too! Almost hitting 10 pounds at 4 weeks and fitting in some 3 month clothes!! (Born 7.5 lbs) Meanwhile her 3.5 year old sister is having a hard time pushing to 30 pounds lol we joked that her little sister is going to be as big as her by the age of 2. 
     
    Im in the same boat over here! My 2 year d is 25 pounds and we joked when I was pregnant " what if this one is chunky??" Well, so far he was 10 lbs, 3 oz at his one month visit. We shall see what his fate is! 
    For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him.
    1 Samuel 1:27
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  • Also growing like a weed here. In the last 4 weeks she has jumped from the 18th percentile for weight to the 60th. I choose outfits for each day based on if I think she'll still fit in it in a couple of days, lol.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @jenny0228 - don't let it stress you. You have such a limited time to bond with your little guy. Next week is my last week of maternity leave (and I took 12 weeks) and it went SO FAST. Going back I feel incredibly depressed and I see now how my priorities are realigned for family first. I feel more driven to get my masters to have a better life balance for our family. When you eventually go back you'll see the big depressing picture and wish you had spent less time stressing and more time cuddling. Work is work. Make it stay there. 

    @longliveregina all of Hildys pictures make her look so tall! I'm always surprised by how many babies on this board look so tall. I guess I'm just used to seeing short stock since both husbands family and now are short. Like nobody is over 5'5. 

    I have a little bitchfest today. I'm very very tight with money. Like I don't replace items until I wear them into the ground, I budget meals, I am a money hoarder. Well for maternity leave I told my husband we needed to be very careful and cautious because I don't want to dip into our one savings account that's for emergencies - we had saved just for this leave separately. He was doing great until last week. I got a bonus check for $500 for certifications I have that get paid out quarterly. We essentially buy at discount stores most of the time (for groceries especially). Last week because of this "bonus" money he went out and bought food not necessarily on our budget. Ok fine - so he increased our food budget so we could eat something different and he got us some bulk items. I didn't say anything figured it was a one time splurge. I did have a skeptical face on though when unloading groceries because I asked why he spent so much on chicken breasts, lunch meats, etc. He said it was for lunches at work. I told him how terrible he is at packing and is he sure he's going to stick with it? I get reassurance that yes he wants to pack. He only works three days per week (both work in healthcare). I looked at our bank account last night because I was suspicious I didn't see him packing lunch. He's worked two days and has spent $27 in food eating out. I know that $27 isn't going to break the bank and if I was working again I wouldn't even get upset. But he essentially just spent $50+ on food for lunches for the week and he's eating out?!? I've been trying to balance our budget so we could go out to eat somewhere together as a family and he's out spending $30 on fast food? It's such a minor thing to stress about when we have the savings. But it really really agitates me to have someone spend money so frivolously. I'm pretty sure I sound crazy at this point. 


    Me: 32 DH: 34
    Baby #1 - January 2010
    Baby #2 - March 2017

     
  • serenity13serenity13 member
    edited April 2017
    oops I did the wrong thread! c/p to the 4/10 one
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @marshmallowfarts She is super long, like the 90th percentile :)
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