PGAL Check-In 4/5

margareth-2 · April 2017

@harleyquinn0621 thank you. I am feeling better, and haven't had those nagging fears today. However, do any of you "forget" you're pregnant and have trouble believing there's an actual baby inside you? Happens to me all the time. Especially in the morning when I'm getting out of bed for some reason. It's such an interesting feeling to have a growing being inside you, and as a FTM I get incredulous often! (Prob won't be as much when I'm huge and the baby is kicking away!) hope you all are doing well and thanks for the support!

divinemsm620 · April 2017

margareth said:

@harleyquinn0621 thank you. I am feeling better, and haven't had those nagging fears today. However, do any of you "forget" you're pregnant and have trouble believing there's an actual baby inside you? Happens to me all the time. Especially in the morning when I'm getting out of bed for some reason. It's such an interesting feeling to have a growing being inside you, and as a FTM I get incredulous often! (Prob won't be as much when I'm huge and the baby is kicking away!) hope you all are doing well and thanks for the support!

SO very glad you're feeling better! And yesssss I have been "forgetting" now that first trimester symptoms have been gone for a while. Mild nausea today was kind of reassuring...

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

@margareth yes... i forget all the time..until i get sudden boob pain or my husband says something about how pregnant i look haha... i don't feel like i look very pregnant but apparently to him i do.... i'm most excited to start feeling movement, i'm sure it will set in then

Sugargirl1019 · April 2017

I have made a terrible terrible mistake..

TW others' late term loss

I started looking up people's stories about late term loss... oh my gosh. And we can't prevent these things from happening! I am scared to death.

Hopefulmommy1980 · April 2017

@sugargirl1019 I am right there with. I keep waiting for the fear to go away. So scary

HollyGolightly09 · April 2017

@Sugargirl1019 I've been having a lot of fear/anxiety lately... part of me desperately wants to look up odds of loss at this point, but I know that regardless of the number that google search will take me nowhere good. I think what I'm struggling with the most is having no way of knowing she's okay in there. And, like you said, there's really nothing we can do to prevent it.

Sugargirl1019 · April 2017

What am I going to do if I start having contractions? Just sheer utter fear! Idk how baby girl IS exactly right now.. but I have cramps all the time and my uterus is so so firm it hurts and my mind goes to all the bad places!

HollyGolightly09 · April 2017

Sugargirl1019 said:

What am I going to do if I start having contractions? Just sheer utter fear! Idk how baby girl IS exactly right now.. but I have cramps all the time and my uterus is so so firm it hurts and my mind goes to all the bad places!

I'm having cramps a lot, too, and I think that's where the fear is coming from. -TW- the last time I really cramped was during my miscarriage, so I'm sure that is playing into it. -end TW-

Do you have an ultrasound or anything coming up? My anatomy scan is in 2 weeks, which seems like FO'EVER!

Sugargirl1019 · April 2017

@HollyGoLightly09 I had some flashback dreams from my last loss

but yes, I have my anatomy scan on the 18th. So close yet so far!

mrs_tacos · April 2017

I spotted last night. It wasn't red or pink, or even particularly heavy, but it got in my head anyway. I woke up this morning thinking, "Fuck, I'm cramping. This is it, this is how it ends." I wasn't cramping, I had to poop. But I'm going to take it easy today anyway, because I need it mentally if not physically. I'm having a hard time believing that my baby is actually healthy, despite all signs pointing towards a healthy, viable pregnancy. After years of bad luck, it just seems impossible that it could be this easy now. Weirdly, it was nice to open this thread and read that others are struggling right now too. Not because I want you guys to struggle, but because this fear can be so isolating, and it's nice to know I'm not really as alone as I feel. On my worst PGAL brain days, I'm not sure what I would do without this group!

HollyGolightly09 · April 2017

mrs_tacos said:

-snip-
Weirdly, it was nice to open this thread and read that others are struggling right now too. Not because I want you guys to struggle, but because this fear can be so isolating, and it's nice to know I'm not really as alone as I feel. On my worst PGAL brain days, I'm not sure what I would do without this group!

I feel the same way. I hate so badly that y'all are struggling, too, but it is very comforting to know I'm not alone in this.

I'm glad your cramping eased up... this whole pregnancy digestion situation is something serious, lol.

Sugargirl1019 · April 2017

I just fell!!! I fell backwards and landed on my butt from loss of balance.. but waaahhh!!

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

mrs_tacos said:

After years of bad luck, it just seems impossible that it could be this easy now. Weirdly, it was nice to open this thread and read that others are struggling right now too. Not because I want you guys to struggle, but because this fear can be so isolating, and it's nice to know I'm not really as alone as I feel. On my worst PGAL brain days, I'm not sure what I would do without this group!

This ++. I was having such a rough day today with the anxiety of my anatomy scan coming up....STILL not feeling any flutters....and a girl at work mentioning the other day how I don't look pregnant (don't ever comment on other people's pregnancy when you don't know what they might be going through).......it really is comforting to come in and see I'm not the only one with the anxiety...I talk to DH and he is amazing but he's just like, "don't worry the baby is fine" ....and I'm just like but there is no way you can know that....I heard the heartbeat like a week and a half ago so I know he was ok at 17weeks ....I just wish the fear would go away

and just to add...I've freaked out about cramping before that turned out to be just having to use the bathroom

margareth-2 · April 2017

I'm sorry to hear about the anxiety; as you know, I can relate. The odds are so, so small at this point. But it's normal to fear it, especially with a m/c history. I hope the anatomy scans put our minds at ease, as well as feeling the kicking! I'll be 19w Monday and I'm still waiting for that... I don't know, reminding myself that the odds are so tiny helps. And my friend reminded me that you can't be 100% trusting of what people write in an article or blog; you don't know what they might be leaving out.

LaceyC1020 · April 2017

*TW* I had a HORRIBLE nightmare the other night that we lost our sweet girl. It was so awful I woke up in tears believing it actually happened. It was so realistic, even the surrounding details--like what I had planned for that next day were in the nightmare. Thank God it was the night before an ultrasound so I woke up to being able to go see her. I had been having some serious anxiety so that probably triggered the nightmare. I just keep reminding myself that all I can do is have faith. 2 weeks and I'm at the halfway mark!!

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

LaceyC1020 said:

*TW* I had a HORRIBLE nightmare the other night that we lost our sweet girl. It was so awful I woke up in tears believing it actually happened. It was so realistic, even the surrounding details--like what I had planned for that next day were in the nightmare. Thank God it was the night before an ultrasound so I woke up to being able to go see her. I had been having some serious anxiety so that probably triggered the nightmare. I just keep reminding myself that all I can do is have faith. 2 weeks and I'm at the halfway mark!!

Yes!! I can't believe I've almost made it to the half way mark! So close and I just want to make it to full term so I can hold him ❤️

LaceyC1020 · April 2017

@harleyquinn0621 I know right!? I just want to kiss her squishy little face!!!!

JNR6510 · April 2017

@Sugargirl1019 Something to help get rid of the late term loss / pre-term labor worries is that at 26 weeks baby is formed enough to survive outside the uterus. For most of us 26 weeks is just around the corner.

@harleyquinn0621 I highly recommend that you start interviewing and putting in applications for day cares right now. In our area it is not uncommon for a decent daycare center to have a 6-9 month waitlist just to get in.

How far along are you?
17+5
What's going on with you baby/pregnancy wise?
Not much right now. Still fighting terrible morning sickness. Our next appointment is the 19th and then the AS is the first week of May!
What's going on with you in other aspects of your life?
We have been working constantly on getting our new home into a more livable arrangement. It's definitely come a long way, but there is still plenty of work left to be done.
ETA: GTKY (by request ) How would you describe your home decorating style? Where are your favorite places to shop for home decor?
Not really sure we have a style. Kind of a hodgepodge of things. We have some antique furniture DH's grandmother left us when she passed two years ago, along with a smattering of random other things we have collected over the years. My MIL is obsessed with lamps and has given us 10-15 all in different styles. I have to make sure the lamps are displayed somewhere when she visits or she will complain.

BigBadWolf12 · April 2017

@sugargirl1019 late loss TW:

my parents lost my brother at 36 weeks due to a cord accident. I was 3 years old. I mentioned it in passing to my midwife when talking about family history, and she was like 'omg, so are you terrified for that for yourself??' and I was like 'no.....at least, not yet.. I'm just trying to make it through first tri,I haven't even had a CHANCE to think about third tri yet' I think part of the second tri and third tri anxieties come from us not knowing what to do without the anxiety of TTC and first tri, so even though the risk is so low, we fixate on the fear anyways.

I've had several pre-term labour dreams, but I've thankfully, never lost the baby...it's just always been born bigger than expected and actually ends up surviving. It's all sorts of weird.

Sugargirl1019 · April 2017

@BigBadWolf12 oh gosh I knew this. I'm so sorry for bringing it up. That's just the thing though that can't be stopped though, yea? You can try to keep kick counts and pray they get to baby in time if there's something wrong.

BigBadWolf12 · April 2017

@sugargirl1019 no, don't be sorry! I referenced it as a means to say even though I have had a very close experience with late term loss (although from the perspective of a child, and I don't really remember much), I've grown up talking about it so much that it makes late term loss a very real thing BUT also a very rare thing (details in spoiler about how it can be both) at the same time. So although I have been brought up with it as being a very real and brutal thing to go through, having that exposure has made it less of a completely unknown fear, if that makes sense. And I do think fear of the unknown is worse than fear of the known in *most* cases. So it's not on the forefront of my mind (yet) and it's not something I'm terrified of (yet). Ask me again in third tri and my answer might be different, but I really do think our minds HAVE to be occupied by SOMETHING, and after ttc troubles if applicable, it's early loss or missed miscarriage, then in second tri it's other things like disorders found at the anatomy scan or late term loss, then in '4th tri' it's sids and viruses before they're immunized, sleep and growth charts, etc. etc... it will never end

it will just change form. I think it's normal to be scared of the unknown. So it sucks, but it's normal. /long ramble.

It was rare even though it happened to my parents and my grandparents, actually, in the the sense that often it was talked about in the context of my mom or dad reflecting on how ill equipped EVERYONE around them was to deal with it. The first time my mom brought herself to go to church after it happened (months later), one of the women who had a baby around the same time my mom was supposed to said, 'are you all better now?' as if my mom had a cold that she could and would recover from.

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

@BigBadWolf12 i agree.. a lot of the fear is the fear of the unknown.. and admittedly my anxiety has just changed over the course of the pregnancy but never lessened

i'm trying to not go completely crazy waiting for my AS on Thursday

Hopefulmommy1980 · April 2017

My anxiety comes and goes. Right now it is super high. Hard to relax

labby18 · April 2017

Right now PGAL brain only flares up here and there. Sometimes I read after a TW and then the next day I freak out about it, or bring it up to DH who then has his own PGAL moment, then domino. I kind of rambled on the other day about how I think it is stupid that they don't do Ultrasounds at every appointment, because otherwise you just think everything is fine in there and then boom it could not be. idk, I have been semi avoiding this thread to keep my PGAL brain under control.

mrs_tacos · April 2017

You guys, anxiety from spotting is going to be the death of me. RIP Tacos, you giant ball of ridiculousness. So, like I said before, I has spotting over the weekend. I had spent an entire day at the ball park in the heat, walking more than usual, and the doctor was sure that's what caused it. I just got over the anxiety from that, and last night I had a fibromyalgia flare up. The pain was moderate, but enough that I would normally have taken medicine for it. I ended up taking a unisom and sleeping it off. But this morning I spotted again. I talked to the doctor this morning (who is very kind, but is probably tired of talking to me by now), who basically said maybe I just have a sensitive cervix that's going to spot when my body is under stress, since there's no other indication that anything is wrong, and he heard a good heartbeat just last week. He also looked through my ultrasounds again, and reassured me that my placenta, cervix, and umbilical cord all look perfect. I know he's right, but my anxiety is right back up there. I am just a mess today. Thankfully I see my therapist in a few hours.

Also, PSA, do NOT Google second trimester bleeding. Every link I found basically said, "It's common after sex or an ultrasound, otherwise it could be one of these five things that WILL ALL KILL EVERYTHING YOU LOVE." (<<slight hyperbole, but you get my drift.)

harleyquinn0621 · April 2017

@mrs_tacos i'm sorry for all the spotting ... i think it's a good sign the dr isn't concerned tho

but i agree... googling pretty much anything is the WORST and i think is the root cause of 75% of all the anxiety i get

jena333-2 · April 2017

I have a happy story for you all, but I'm going to make you wait until the new thread tomorrow!

jena333-2 · April 2017

(plus I neeeeeeeeded to use that gif)

HollyGolightly09 · April 2017

@jena333-2 Yay... I need a happy story!

Want a personalized experience?

PGAL Check-In 4/5

Re: PGAL Check-In 4/5

Choose Another Board

Search Boards