@MaximumEffort I used to have the same arguments with DH but they finally ended because I went full on crazy person and made a list of all the household chores and then assigned them all to each of us (and a couple for the kids). Now if his stuff isn't done I just tell him to check the list and do his things. Keeps us both accountable. We both work full time, I do most (read all) of the kid stuff (homework, soccer, tball, dance, play dates, birthday parties) so I expect a little help with housework. Maybe explain to him that you need the extra hand on daily chores and the clutter of his old stuff isn't helping? I know it's difficult to get them to do the chores you want them to but the list actually worked for us!
@ugoglencoco we have been married all of 6 months. Not once has he cleaned a bathroom or washed the kitchen or any of the appliances correctly. He throws a fit if DDs stuff is out and has no problem dumping it in a pile in her room, which means I take care of it with her. And I'm "mean" when I tell him to throw his empty stuff away or God forbid I tell him to "finish the job" like putting the vacuum away when he is done. He says he was busy but I also work full time and when I'm home with DD it all gets done and more, no excuses.
@swimsister my MIL was in town right when my morning sickness really kicked in and she knew I was pregnant. She kept saying "maybe you have a stomach bug?" No MIL, just no. I'm 7 weeks pregnant and nauseous. This is a thing.
..follow up. Obviously the dog had to pre. DH said he couldn't find it...all over his clothes pile. And I'm the a-hole for going to bed right now and not cleaning it up for him. I'm usually the one who has to clean it up, done.
We arent in the fortunate position of many. Rent is very expensive here but we are unable to move for reasons. We live on one income (under $60k which is very little here in Aus for a large family) as I already have 3 small children from my previous marriage and for me to go to work would cost $300+ a day for child care. We have no family close by.
So I am a full-time SAHM. I view it as my career which means i take pride in budgeting and being frugal and making my family home a happy one.
When my DH and i got married last year we aimed to simply be debt free with in 5 years. Sounds easy.... but DH had previously lived his bachelor life to the full.... drowning in debt. It nearly ended our courtship when i realised how bad it was. So we sat down, wrote out a financial plan that included a new baby in our first year. Sold his boy toys to pay off some debt. (Goodbye beautiful boat) And we are doing well. We are still able to pay all we need including medical and kids school costs etc without getting into debt further. No savings really....a month in advance only. But we are proud because we've worked hard, live simply and made our children the main focus of our lives. He is happier. As am I. Hard work but it is honorable to do this......
BUT I have some friends who are living on 2 incomes ....$150000 plus.....and are constantly in more and more debt and I've become so critical of their lifestyles and their complaining. A girlfriend only buys herself and children designer clothes, lives in a grand house and a new car. Throws large fancy parties. Etc etc And then she has the audacity to sit there and complain that she doesn't know how i have time to be a "domestic goddess" because i bake and sew. Apparently i am sooooo lucky as i don't "have" to work. I bake as it is cheaper than buying and i sew for similar reasons. And sometimes i would love a new $300 dress every time one takes my fancy. I just cant do that tho. Lots of you ladies are probably the same.
But I just cant sit there any longer with a frozen smile on my face and listen to her bitch about how they need more money.
At my ob apt today they told me the edd was oct 15th on their charts, nov 2nd was what they told me when I had my last apt a month ago and have been going by, then today they tell me the Edd is nov 13th. I know it's not a huge deal but it made me hormonally pissed. Then DH tells me to calm down and not be mad. I was planning on telling my grandparents this weekend, which means everyone, family, friends and strangers, will know by Wednesday because they won't keep it private. I know it's irrational. I was fine announcing at 11.5 weeks but not 9.5, DH doesn't get it. So I will be brooding.
@c+mpeachey they said it was measuring at 9 weeks, no other reason. It just pissed me off. My lmp was om jan 26th. They claim I must've ovulated way later than I thought. If that's the case, the test I took was highly senstive and tested positive 5 days after implantation. It just doesn't make sense.
@c+mpeachey preach!! I penny pinch and budget and my SIL acts like we have it so easy. Umm no it's because we don't go out to eat 5 times a week and blow every penny we have.
I hear ya @BayCamp! It's all just so frustrating and not right! Id love more money too. But i don't go living beyond my means in the vain hope that it will magically appear.
@AntWolfe thst is just odd. But if baby is healthy, then who care when O happened or your due date....... frustrating now. And probably will be for a while. But bub will arrive when they are ready.... even an EDD is rarely spot on. I hope you don't mind me asking.....Were your cycles never regular? What about dating scan?
@c+mpeachey my cycles were regular. They told me to come back in 2 weeks and do another scan to see where it's at. I know I will be happy no matter what the dd but I left frustrated and my dh didn't get it. You ever leave an apt and just not feel satisfied with how things were done? They loaded me with all this info then I didnt get a summary print out of what all those million things to do were. I guess they didn't last time either or I wouldve known about the wonky edd. The blood work also followed with an earlier edd. I just feel kinda in the dark about what's going on and would like some clarity but they didn't provide it.
@AntWolfe a month's difference is a wild amount. If you don't like what you see / hear at your next appointment, I'd consider switching offices. What was baby measuring at last time? Do they seem concerned?
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@zigzag8412 Your SIL is planning on attending a wedding A WEEK after giving birth? Also, possibly giving birth. She might have that baby same day as her E's wedding. People aren't going to stop their plans for a family for a wedding. Sorrynotsorry. I really hope she ignores them and can relax for the last month of her pregnancy.
@ElizabethSchuyler we're actually both *in* the wedding, as are our husbands. So ya... They may or may not even make the wedding, depending. Which is just weird to me. It would be more important to me to pick a different date in the first place so the ones I love and want there could actually be there. But they picked a week after her due date. (Likely cause they waited so long to decide a date/book a venue that's all that was left).
~Ziggy
Me:27 (diagnosed anovulatory May 2016) DH:29 (normal) Met 2008 | Dated 2010 | Married 2012 TTC#1 since June 2015 June 2016- 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 12), thin (2.45) lining | BFN July 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 10), thin (~4) lining | BFN August 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | BFN | Referred to specialist, visited once, was told we have less than a 3% chance even on medication, recommended to IUI for up to a 50% chance, decided not to pursue at this time | Stopped "trying" October 2016- We became licensed foster parents November 9, 2016- Arrival of DD#1, 4yo March 1, 2017- 1 day late, feel like crap (low fever & exhausted) | Mom suggested test before taking meds, I laughed but did it anyway | BFP! *shock*
Re: Monday Bitchfest 4/10/17
We arent in the fortunate position of many. Rent is very expensive here but we are unable to move for reasons. We live on one income (under $60k which is very little here in Aus for a large family) as I already have 3 small children from my previous marriage and for me to go to work would cost $300+ a day for child care. We have no family close by.
So I am a full-time SAHM. I view it as my career which means i take pride in budgeting and being frugal and making my family home a happy one.
When my DH and i got married last year we aimed to simply be debt free with in 5 years. Sounds easy.... but DH had previously lived his bachelor life to the full.... drowning in debt. It nearly ended our courtship when i realised how bad it was. So we sat down, wrote out a financial plan that included a new baby in our first year. Sold his boy toys to pay off some debt. (Goodbye beautiful boat) And we are doing well. We are still able to pay all we need including medical and kids school costs etc without getting into debt further. No savings really....a month in advance only. But we are proud because we've worked hard, live simply and made our children the main focus of our lives. He is happier. As am I. Hard work but it is honorable to do this......
BUT I have some friends who are living on 2 incomes ....$150000 plus.....and are constantly in more and more debt and I've become so critical of their lifestyles and their complaining. A girlfriend only buys herself and children designer clothes, lives in a grand house and a new car. Throws large fancy parties. Etc etc And then she has the audacity to sit there and complain that she doesn't know how i have time to be a "domestic goddess" because i bake and sew. Apparently i am sooooo lucky as i don't "have" to work. I bake as it is cheaper than buying and i sew for similar reasons. And sometimes i would love a new $300 dress every time one takes my fancy. I just cant do that tho. Lots of you ladies are probably the same.
But I just cant sit there any longer with a frozen smile on my face and listen to her bitch about how they need more money.
@AntWolfe thst is just odd. But if baby is healthy, then who care when O happened or your due date....... frustrating now. And probably will be for a while. But bub will arrive when they are ready.... even an EDD is rarely spot on. I hope you don't mind me asking.....Were your cycles never regular? What about dating scan?
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
Met 2008 | Dated 2010 | Married 2012
TTC#1 since June 2015
June 2016- 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 12), thin (2.45) lining | BFN
July 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | 2 follies (14 & 10), thin (~4) lining | BFN
August 2016- 1mg estradiol CDs 1-7, 50mg generic clomid CDs 5-9 w/TI | BFN | Referred to specialist, visited once, was told we have less than a 3% chance even on medication, recommended to IUI for up to a 50% chance, decided not to pursue at this time | Stopped "trying"
October 2016- We became licensed foster parents
November 9, 2016- Arrival of DD#1, 4yo
March 1, 2017- 1 day late, feel like crap (low fever & exhausted) | Mom suggested test before taking meds, I laughed but did it anyway | BFP! *shock*