Poll o' the Day - Going back to work or staying home?

natleilynn · April 2017

After this/these little bundle(s) of joy arrive, are you planning on heading back into the general workforce or joining the ranks of SAHM?

jessafishy · April 2017

I voted back to work for the income but my ideal would be working part time or working from home with kiddos going to daycare half day.

beezeee · April 2017

I had to SS on this one, because I have no idea at this point. Most likely will go back PT indefinitely, if I can get my boss to agree. I'm avoiding the topic for now.

riverrainez · April 2017

Back to work, but I am planning/hoping to take a longer leave this time - 6 months instead of 3. And then I'd love to work 32 hours a week, but we'll see.

natleilynn · April 2017

I'm a weirdo. I actually really enjoy my job and feel like I'm a better mom because I work. I feel like I have more patience with DD because I know I only have a limited amount of time with her on weeknights/weekends so I make more effort to focus on her. It's one of the reasons you don't see me bumping at night/weekends much (also, I've been falling asleep when I put her to bed each night, so there's that). I rarely take my work home - so when I'm home, I'm 100% there. I still have tons of mommy guilt, but at least DD seems happy with the preschool she's at now so that helps.

I was raised by a SAHM and totally respect it. I loved that my mom was there every day when I got home from school - I just think I personally am better as a working mom.

carries2018 · April 2017

i said back to work bc i am better mom bc of it, i am not totally sure on that. but i do know i can't be home with them all day every day without going insane. but i wish i had more than 2 days at home a week. ideally i would like to work 4 days, home 3. DC eats up 1/4 of our income so that is a tough pill to swallow and it isnt even full time.

baker1jm2 · April 2017

I'm extremely blessed. My boss allows me to do my own scheduling so I'm able to keep my full time pay and jam everything into 3 days with a little paperwork time from home. I'm def going back bc I love my job and it's the perfect balance for me

VLillyV · April 2017

I said back to work because of the income.

I am having some war with myself over my employment as it is. I've become largely unhappy here. I will have to put up with it until further notice. I have a place here when I come back. MIL will stay home with babe once she arrives while DH and I save money for a house. #goals

mrs_fogue · April 2017

jessafishy said:

I voted back to work for the income but my ideal would be working part time or working from home with kiddos going to daycare half day.

This is 100% me. I really could pick both of the going back options. I would love for a reduced role/reduced time in the office while my kids are growing up. But I'm totally a better mom for getting some time apart. Plus I would drive myself insane being home all day. I just function so much better having to get up each day and with a goal for the day.

carries2018 · April 2017

the more i think about it though, i would like to work 4 days...but still send them to DC 5 days so i have a day of kidfree time to get shit done around the house. so it appears i am cool with just seeing them 2 days

natleilynn · April 2017

@carries2018 the first time I did that with DD (I had a day off that preschool didn't) I felt soooooo guilty.

The next time, DH and I planned a full date day and enjoyed every second!

Hey, we pay for it anyway, might as well use it

riverrainez · April 2017

@carries2018 I would so love to do that. I never feel guilty about sending DS to daycare when I have the day off.

I forgot to mention in my answer that I chose the first one, better mom because I work, especially with a toddler. I find the infant stage easier, which is why I want to take a longer leave, but DS at 2 is a wild man! I would go crazy being home 24/7.

bluejeanbabi05 · April 2017

That reminds me of a question. For the stm+ who have their toddlers in daycare now- do people normally keep toddler in daycare during mat leave or have both kids at home during that time?

natleilynn · April 2017

@bluejeanbabi05 I'm planning to keep DD in daycare. They said it's best to keep them in their normal routine as much as possible.

riverrainez · April 2017

@bluejeanbabi05 I'm planning to keep DS in daycare so he keeps his routine and I have bonding time with the new baby.

dumbledoredies · April 2017

I put back to work because of income. We can live off of my DH's income but with very little left over after bills for extra things. My income is a nice supplement.

I don't love my job/working but enjoy working PT and getting out of the house. I'll probably become a SAHM once we have more then one kid if we can swing it.

I wish that I enjoyed working more!

lemonlyman · April 2017

Sorry everyone, had to be the special snowflake this time! I'm a freelance writer so I have worked from home for a few years now. We have definitely had to make some financial sacrifices and it's been super challenging to find time to work now that we have a crazy toddler running around, but most of the time I love it. It'll be a whole new adventure adding a second baby to the mix

jessafishy · April 2017

@bluejeanbabi05 Definitely keeping him in DC. If this baby is anything like DS was as a newborn there is no way I can do both on my own all day every day right after birth.

carries2018 · April 2017

@bluejeanbabi05 i kept DD1 home when DD2 was born...this time i am NOT doing that if that gives you any indication how it went haha. i mean overall it was fine. but it was really hard for me to balance giving the NB time. she basically ate then got stuck in a corner whilst i chased around a toddler. i mean the girls go PT to DC so they will be home 4 days a week. but at least 3 days i will have some one on one time.

beezeee · April 2017

@bluejeanbabi05 DD is starting school next year so we don't need to worry about this, but if she was still in daycare we would have at least reduced her daycare schedule to only a few days a week, or pulled her out completely, to save money during my maternity leave.

shan24 · April 2017

I'm going back to work for the income. My ideal would be to go part-time. I sell Arbonne and I'll be on mat leave for a year, so I'll be using part of that time to get my Arbonne to a place where part-time is feasible.

baker1jm2 · April 2017

Going to keep DD in daycare...we're saving now so we can afford it bc if we pull her out she'll lose her spot and we love her daycare. I work for a small company so sadly no fmla. My boss offers 8 weeks unpaid maternity leave. We do get 2 weeks paid for the holidays so I'll get my 8 weeks unpaid and then 2 weeks Christmas break paid..very fortunate with the way the timing worked out as long as babe doesn't come too early!

natleilynn · April 2017

@bluejeanbabi05 another point to consider - our daycare won't "hold" DD's spot if we were to pull her out while I was on maternity. Therefore, we don't really have a choice in the matter since daycare spots for toddlers are super tough to find around here.

I want to keep her in for routine reasons anyway - but something to look into.

nbcarlson · April 2017

I said I am going back because I love my job/I'm a better mom because of it. But i also don't have a choice because when we had DS my DH became a SAHD. But that decision was made because as much as I love my child there is no way I could handle staying home, DH does an amazing job at it.

Mommaswizz · April 2017

After having my DD, I went back to work full time for three months. Because my commute to NYC was an hour in each direction and my hours were 10am-6pm, it just wasnt working. I was getting zero time with my kid. I switched to part time and worked all 3 days from home. It was awesome. After a year of that, I was let go and have been a SAHM since January (hence why we starting trying for another baby). I have a love/hate relationship with my new role. I LOVE not commuting and getting to raise my girl but it's hard not getting out and socializing with people on a daily basis. I'm hoping once we move to our new neighborhood next month, i'll find some other SAHM friends.

ETA: Typo

PizzaMonster3 · April 2017

I said returning to work for the income. But I think I will be better mom for it - once I find a better fit. I love my role and benefits but hate my boss and company culture. I think DH always envisioned me as a SAHM and maybe in the future I will be, I just want to use my degree a bit more before chalking this all up as a waste lol.

ksf13 · April 2017

I voted SAHM, but I guess I could have went with SS, because I'm already a SAHM! I absolutely love it! DD will start Pre-K in September, so I'll have about a month between her starting school and having the baby

. It's hard to believe she's already starting school, but I'm glad it will give me some one on one time with this LO too. The pre-k progam here is only part of the day, so I'll still have two of them here most of the day!

purplestarz · April 2017

I voted SS since I'm already a SAHM. I was planning to go back to work in some part time fashion when DD starts preschool next year...but that went out the window when we decided on No. 2. We definitely miss my income for extra fun things, but I wouldn't have it any other way for a few reasons. DH works strange hours, sleeps strange hours, and never has Sat/Sun off. I partially became a SAHM so I could spend time with him, too. When I was working we would go days without seeing each other. It takes a toll on your relationship after awhile when you have no free time together and we figured it would be even worse once we had children. So here I am!

ac1259 · April 2017

I'm a special snowflake. I mostly SAH currently but I have a per diem job as a RN just to keep my foot in the door at the network where I work. I also am a full time student and will be in clinical so my girls will be in preschool for half days 3 days a week in the fall and baby will most likely be with a babysitter one day a week. So mostly SAHM but with occasional childcare needs.

Sparklelily · April 2017

I put SAHM, even though I can't stop saying no to short term gigs (like a maternity leave I'm covering). I guess I should have put SS. Also, I would seriously LOVE to put DS in day care for the first 3-4 months after this baby. The newborn phase was pretty much a nightmare for me, and DS is still pretty needy. I'm worried this baby won't get the same treatment as the first. No one here should feel guilty not matter what choice they make.

Amesie13 · April 2017

I am planning to do the stay at home mom thing for a year to see how it goes but likely will work part time once baby gets older and then once baby goes to school (kindergarten and after)I plan to work full time again. I was a nanny for years and would like to do the baby stage as a full time mom but totally understand moms working full time and part time with babies it's all what works for you and your family.

lola4411 · April 2017

@riverraine that is me exactly! my DS is a crazy man and i know he is also better off getting the interaction with the other kids at DC. i am not afraid to admit that i need the time off from it all too.

KTdidit · April 2017

I answered SAHM and I can't wait! I might try to arrange a part tie option with my current job, but I'm doubtful that will happen. I will probably find a small part time job after a year or so, we can live off of DH's income but it will be TIGHT

dajocl · April 2017

I'm a SS. I will go back to work, eventually about 30 hours a week in the office and I'll do about 5 from home. BUT I get to bring the little one with me.

I cannot express how great my bosses are. I wasn't going to come back to work after DS was born because of childcare costs, and they talked me into it because I would get to bring him for as long as I needed to. Right now he is almost two and is with me for 1.5 hours a day. My husband has him in the mornings and on Fridays (he works four 10 hour evenings a week) so its not that much anymore. When baby comes this fall, he will go to preschool and baby will stay with me.

I know that this wouldn't work for most people, I wasn't even sure it would work for us, but I feel very blessed that it does work for us. And I work in a building full of people who love my kid. He is very well taken care of, even if I have to go into a meeting or something.

ForwardnBackward · April 2017

Back to work for me! I'd be the worst SAHM. DS will stay in daycare so long as money plays out okay, which I think it will. He learns so much there and he'll be at the age where he really starts making friends, which I'm looking forward to!

bluejeanbabi05 · April 2017

Back to work for me as well! Although I'm going to start looking for a new job soon after I get back from mat leave. That should be interesting!

migdala · April 2017

I can't wait to be a SAHM, but we still need my income. Maybe after the next one!

crazypuglady · April 2017

Going back to work. I don't LOVE my job... but it pays well and will allow our family to live the lifestyle I want for us. Plus... DH insists that we both continue to contribute to our retirement accounts.. and we would like to be able to pay for college for our kid(s) one day.

Oh... and I'm pretty sure I'd go crazy if I had to be at home talking to no one but a baby/toddler all day. I need adult interaction.

MCraig1484 · April 2017

I’m 100% on the same page as @mrs_fogue . I would love to be able to reduce my hours a bit or work from home part of the time, but I am definitely a better mom being a working mom. I need the purpose of getting dressed and ready to go to work as well as the social interaction and mental challenge of my job. I feel like I’m able to devote 100% to my family on evenings and weekends because of this.

kdel921 · April 2017

Im def going back to work. Id love the option to be a SAHM or part time but we need both of our full incomes right now.

Boobopgirl · April 2017

I guess I'm a snowflake...I'm a SAHM and have been since 2014. I home-preschool my kids. And I do a bunch of random stuff on the side. Babysitting, tutoring, music lessons, and I drive my neighbor's 2 special snowflakes to and from school on days she has to work. (She works odd hours. Most kids in our neighborhood walk but hers are too precious apparently). So on a good week, i make enough to cover groceries and gas and take some of the stress off of our budget. It works for now.