FTM questions for STM 4/8

kaitlinliz · April 2017

Questions for STMs? The last thread was in March and it got super buried and overwhelming, so I figured I'd start a new one.

My question is about weight gain/loss. I know it's common to lose weight, but when is it a concern? I lost weight when I first found out. Went from 110-105.5. Then went back up to 109. Today weighed in at 107.5. This has all been over a 4 week period. Nausea really only just started kicking in this week, no MS so I'm still eating, just not as well or as much as I'd like to be - lots of carbs and dairy (and ginger lol) I am 7w today and found out at 3w1d if any of that matters.

liz4382 · April 2017

I am curious about babywearing (I hate that term though lol!). I know I want to get something, but not sure what is best, especially for an infant. The unstructured slings make me nervous because it looks to me like baby could just slip right out of you don't fold it just right.

kaitlinliz · April 2017

@liz4382 I agree! I definitely want to wear mine, I'm too small to be lugging a carseat around lol. But some of those wraps terrify me and some of the structured carriers just look too bulky for me to handle

froggy994 · April 2017

I really liked using a wrap when the baby is little. I used the moby wrap with my two. I know 15 feet of fabric is intimidating, but with a little practice you get really good really quick. Plus there are tons of YouTube videos for guidance. It keeps them nice and snug to you. I also used a water ring sling for the pool and beach which was great for my second baby. I used the ergo once my two were a little bigger. I'm looking into getting a Tula or lillebaby as my structured carrier this go around. I loved using the carrier especially as a second time mom. Kept my hands free to interact more with my oldest.

emucoleman · April 2017

@kaitlinliz I wouldn't worry too much about weight loss at this point, unless your doctor brings it up as a concern. When I was pregnant with DD, I called my doctor completely freaking out because I had lost like five pounds or something. (They were nice but said don't worry about it. Hah.) Of course, I already had a few extra pounds on me and you obviously don't...still, when it's within 5 pounds of your original weight, it's probably just normal weight fluctuation. And it really is normal to lose a little weight when you have morning sickness, you have plenty of time to gain weight later.

I'm interested in the babywearing stuff too. I didn't do it with DD (I had a sling but didn't start using it until she was a couple of weeks old and it was hard for both of us to get used to), but I think I might try it with this baby.

fiddleRN79 · April 2017

@kaitlinliz I think you are okay. Unless you are really thin for your height, like underweight, then I'd say that you will be alright. I started out in the middle of a healthy BMI with DD and lost 15 pounds before my first appointment due to severe nausea and vomiting. The doctor didn't even bat an eye. He gave me Zofran and told me to call if I felt dehydrated. All doctors are different; as are patients. I would still talk to the doctor at your appointment to double check

hedgepig · April 2017

+1 @liz4382 I am also interested in baby wearing as we live in a very rural area (5 miles out a dirt road), so no sidewalks or paved roads, which means that strollers aren't really practical. Any advice/favorite brands would be appreciated.

I am also looking for advice about keeping babies warm in the winter. Our winters aren't very severe (the lowest we get is in the 20s or high teens, and that's only a couple of times a year), but our house is only wood heated and not well insulated, so the ambient temp is usually pretty low (in the 50s at night). We're fine with that (put on a sweater!), but I'm worried about keeping a baby warm at night with no blankets. Any tips or suggestions?

jess0211 · April 2017

@kaitlinliz I am fairly small to start with, with a normal weight fluctuation of 5 lbs (112-117) on any given day. This had been the trend throughout pregnancy as well. At my ob appt on Tuesday they measured me st 117, next day at gym I was 112. I think it's completely normal.

I am also interested in babywearing options paticularly since I am petite.

kaitlinliz · April 2017

@emucoleman and @fiddleRN79 thanks! I'm very short 5'1, so the 110 was in the normal range. I'm just a small person, but being small made me worried that I was losing so much. I'll keep an eye on it (I weigh in on my weekly ticker change) I haven't been vomiting but I have had severe nausea so I haven't been eating as much as I normally do. My main focus is getting my water intake when I can't stomach food.

@lahansen my friends had their baby in the winter (where it gets to -40 on the regular) they kept her in long sleeved onesies and pants. If they went out they used the winter covers for carseat. Always kept her wrapped unless inside, but had blankets near her when they were inside. Use the sleep sacks for night (you can get them with the feet completely covered and long sleeves) they have winter ones and summer ones. Just layer - use a onesie, footie pjs and then the sleep sack, they'll be OK at night.

hedgepig · April 2017

@kaitlinliz Thanks for the reassurance! I'm not worried about outside because we're pretty temperate/rainy, but it's good to know that I can just keep layering up for cold nights.

fiddleRN79 · April 2017

@kaitlinliz I'm 5' 1.5", so I'm a shorty too lol

DuchessOfCambridge · April 2017

@kaitlinliz I'm pretty small too and have been fluctuating quite a bit. I started at 108 and go between 108-113 every day all day depending on how much I've eaten that day and if I've been able to successfully use the bathroom. My dr said it's perfectly fine.

ArtificialRed · April 2017

I'm also 5'1. I was losing weight down to a level I started to worry about (101 with clothes on) but then I had a couple of good eating days and went back up a couple of pounds. Now I've been mainainting around 102 for a week. So it's low but more stable. I figure it's alright since the loss slowed down. I'm nine weeks. If you don't stabilize soon, you can always call your doctor.

As far as carriers go, despite being petite, I loved our structured carrier. I never did like the wrap and ring slings put me way too lopsided. I have two ergos. There are different designs and I do find one of ours is just a bit more comfortable for my size. It's old, but I think it was the sport model. The other nice thing about the ergo is that my 6' tall husband and I can both use it.

NYTino24 · April 2017

@kaitliiz Are you weighing yourself naked at the same time every day? Clothes and food / water can make a big difference. So can your bowels. I lost almost a pound just going to the bathroom yesterday! DH was a college wrestler and can tell you what almost everything weighs.

BayCamp · April 2017

On the subject of Babywearing:

For newborns I really like ring slings. It takes practice (stuffed animal and YouTube before baby is born) but you can really get a good secure fit.

Stretchy wraps like a Moby work well for newborns but are bulky and to me seemed impractical. We really only used it around the house.

Woven wraps also work well but again, kind of bulky for my taste. Some people LOVE to wrap, I just never got the hang of it.

Structured carriers (Ergo, Tula, Beco, etc) with an infant insert will last you the longest as far as bang for your buck. I can still wear my 2yo in our Tula if I need it.

I highly recommend joining a local Babywearing group! They usually have "learn and plays" where you can try on different types of carriers and certified teachers that will show out how to properly use each one. Just because someone raves about a particular carrier/brand doesn't mean it will be comfortable for you, but with so many varieties of carriers there is bound to be one that will work.

hopeful87-2 · April 2017

@lahansen we live in an old house and DD's room gets pretty cold. We use a space heater that doesn't get hot on the outside and it turns off it it is picked up/moved/knocked over. With these safety features I feel comfortable using it in her room. Also, I would recommend a monitor where you can see the temperature. It provides extra reassurance

elsieisamoocow · April 2017

I second a lot of what @BayCamp said. Definitely join a local babywearing group, you can even while you're pregnant to learn a bit about what you think you'd like. They often have lending libraries (mine doesn't unfortunately) where you can check out or rent a carrier for a week or two to really see if you like it.

Stretchy wraps like the k'tan, solly, and moby are only good until the baby weighs about 12-15lbs, as they're not super supportive.

I also adore my ring sling. It's easy to pop on and off, especially with a tiny baby, but as long as it's made from a woven wrap, they're very supportive and you can change to a hip carry as baby gets older.

I'm a big Tula fan, and just ordered their new free to grow carrier, because I really dislike having to use the infant insert (but you must on normal Tulas and Ergos until the baby's legs are long enough that they are supported knee to knee and can dangle their feet). Either way, go with a supportive, ergonomic carrier like Tula, Ergo, Beco, Lillebaby... It's the most comfortable and supportive for both you and baby. Also on these, when the baby is able to sit up unassisted, you can wear them on your back. I can still easily wear my 2 year old if he lets me.

Woven wraps are great, and I have a few in different sizes, but they can be intimidating. Since I plan to babywear quite a bit due to chasing my toddler, I plan to practice with these again soon. They can feel bulky but also they can feel really secure when they're wrapped right. It just takes practice, and they're wrapped the same way for basic wraps as the stretchy wraps are, so that gives you a little practice while baby is tiny.

hopeful87-2 · April 2017

Baby wearing: I liked the k'tan when baby was tiny, then the bjorn until she was about a year then fortunately my sister gave me her ergo to use and we still use it- DD is 19 months. She is just about too big for it now and I am so sad!! Baby wearing makes life so much easier. One thing to think about is if you can get yourself into it alone or not/will you need to. I love the ergo bc she could fit into it for so much longer than the bjorn but it's really a pain to get into alone bc of the top buckle behind your shoulders. I wear a lot while traveling alone with DD (highly recommend if you are flying with baby!) and sometimes I have to ask another nice looking parent to strap me in, which is a little awkward...

cmessamore · April 2017

Weight: I never gain much in the first tri, and have lost weight during that time with DS3. I wouldn't worry at all about it, unless your OB is worried.

Babywearing: I love my boba! I still use it with my 7 month old, you just have to get use to the different wys to tie it. I practiced with step-DD's doll! lol I also have a more structured one made by infantino-it was way less expensive than the ergo and bjorn and when I bought it with DS1, I was a very young single mother on a budget. But now it has lasted through all 3 DS's and I still love it, so I'm kind of happy I never spent big bucks on a different one!

I have no idea how this posted twice-stupid glitch! If anyone knows how to delete one, let me know and I will!

cmessamore · April 2017

Weight: I never gain much in the first tri, and have lost weight during that time with DS3. I wouldn't worry at all about it, unless your OB is worried.

Babywearing: I love my boba! I still use it with my 7 month old, you just have to get use to the different wys to tie it. I practiced with step-DD's doll! lol I also have a more structured one made by infantino-it was way less expensive than the ergo and bjorn and when I bought it with DS1, I was a very young single mother on a budget. But now it has lasted through all 3 DS's and I still love it, so I'm kind of happy I never spent big bucks on a different one!

BayCamp · April 2017

@elsieisamoocow let me know how you like the free to grow!! I'm a hardcore fan of my Tula and often say it's the most indispensable parenting item I've ever owned. We got it when DS was 5mo so never had an insert for it. I really like the look of the FTG.

elsieisamoocow · April 2017

@BayCamp I'm sure I'll love it!! It looks amazing. A friend is due in July and got one too so I'm hoping she loves it just as much as we're thinking we will. Might have to try hers out if my belly isn't too big then!

JDW0325 · April 2017

Love baby wearing groups too! Highly recommend.

With my son I loved the solly wrap. Only took a couple tries to get the hang of it. I personally didn't like the k'tan- that's the beauty of these groups. You can talk about them and sometimes borrow for a week or so!
The ergo with infant insert was amazing too. Guaranteed to put him to sleep. But heaven help you if you unbuckle that infant insert before he was ready to wake!! I wanted a Tula so bad and will likely get one this time!!!

armstrongatron · April 2017

@lahansen I second layering for keeping LO warm. DD practically lived in a onesie/one piece fleece jumper combo all winter. I also had a Few of the long sleeved fleece sleep sacks. I had one of those car seat covers that fit over the top and had a zipper opening for when we went out in the cold.

As far as weight is concerned, my sister had severe nausea and vomiting throughout her entire pregnancy, and her OB monitored her weight to make sure she hadn't gone below a certain percentage of her original weight. My sister was also very small and thin to begin with though, and she had an eating disorder in high school so I think that played into her being closely monitored to begin with anyway.

I am also a huge fan of babywearing. I had a moby when DD was newborn, and I got a maya when she was around 6mos. I was able to use the maya until she was 3 or so. There was a hip carry that I really loved when she got into the toddler years. I think it only worked as long as it did because she has always been pretty petite. I can't wait to try Out the maya with a teeny newborn!

emucoleman · April 2017

To add a little to what I said...if you have not had a dr appt yet, and if you have challenges with being underweight or ever have, or really for any reason, you could always call your doctor to get reassurance. I would never tell someone not to call her doctor if she had a concern, even if it seemed a little silly. I only meant to alleviate anxiety, not to make anyone feel that their concerns are not valid.

Sorry, I know there was no drama over this but I felt like I should say it.

hedgepig · April 2017

@hopeful87-2 Unfortunately we live off the electric grid with solar panels and batteries for power, so we can't run an electric heater. We could put in a propane heater, but I am hoping to avoid it. Fortunately lots of layers sound like they'll work

gipfish · April 2017

For those interested in babywearing, I recommend watching tons of YouTube videos, but keeping in mind that you won't know what you like best until you try it out.

I thought the ergo would be so much easier than some of the wraps that look like origami, because you can just snap the buckles. Wrong! My mei tai is like 1000x easier to do up by myself than the ergo is. Also, having a short torso, I find the Infantino Mei Tai quite a bit more comfortable than the ergo. I have no regrets about getting the ergo, though, because my husband loves it. (NOTE: Let your husband pick out a carrier he thinks is manly, so he will wear baby for you when you're out and about.) When DD was little, I would roll up a receiving blanket and put it under her bottom like a little seat in the Mei Tai, and she was quite comfy in there.

rachelb51212 · April 2017

Baby wearing: I used a wrap called the Cuddle Bug. You can find it on Amazon and it's a bit cheaper than the Moby wraps. It's good for babies up to 30 lbs. I wore my 18-month old just last week in it. It's so wonderful! Once you learn how to wrap it (YouTube videos are awesome) it's super easy to use and very quick. It comes with a little cloth case for it that you can use to store the wrap, which is great because it's so long. You use it just like a moby wrap and you can use any of the moby wrap videos as reference. Any kind of carrier is wonderful because babies will sleep in them easily and you can use both of your hands.

As for keeping babies warm in winter, most newborns are going to be in sleep sacks for the first few months, so that will keep them warm. For my first, I used to put him in long sleeve nightgowns that have elastic at the bottom so they don't ride up when you wrap him in the sleep sack. That keeps them very warm!

kaitlinliz · April 2017

@NYTino24 yes same time every day, before eating, but after my morning pee. I am in clothes but very lightweight - thin vneck and leggings (what I take my weekly bump photos in)

@emucoleman thanks I appreciate the concern. I saw one last week and said I was 109. Since I had been gaining I didn't even think to bring up the weight loss. Now I'm kinda sad I didn't. But she didn't even bat an eye at 109. I'm not too worried since I kno I haven't been eating as well/much as I should. But it just bothered me to see the scale going down again.

megankth · April 2017

I am a STM but wasn't really sure where to post this question and would appreciate feedback from other STM+. Do any of you have experience with having a subchorionic hemorrhage? I didn't have this with DS and have yet to see my ob (was diagnosed in the hospital this week) and am a bit anxious about it to say the least.

jka427 · April 2017

@megankth I have a small one right now. I'm on pelvic rest for the next two weeks, plus told to call if the bleeding pops back up. They are going to check in it again at my 12 week scan.

As far far as weight goes, I was told with my last pregnancy to lose as much as I could in the first tri (I was very overweight). I lost about 15 pounds. This time I'm trying to maintain (I weigh a lot less now...like minus 160 haha)

slaven · April 2017

@lahansen there are Merino wool sleep sacks. They're expensive but great because they not only keep baby warm, but when baby gets too warm they can help regulate temperature because it's Merino wool, other fabrics probably won't do this. We're going to be living in upstate NY so I definitely plan to get 2. One to use and one to wash. They may also have Merino wool swaddle sacks too

I'm looking into the Lillebaby complete carrier, a Moby, and a Baby K'tan (which is like a wrap but without all the extra fabric). @elsieisamoocow I looked into the Tulas and thought about it. Now that the Free to Grow is out I may look into it again. One thing I liked about Lillebaby is that you can cross the back straps and it has a lumbar support pad (which also looks ugly though). I have a narrow back so I really just have to see how they fit first.

@gipfish I second getting a "manly" carrier. We're FTPs but we've already discussed it and he's totally open to baby wearing but I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate a pretty Tula.

I lost some weight up until about 8+5. Now I'm just a pound under my starting weight (at 9+3). I'm not tiny but not overweight (5'5" and about 150-155) so I really can't speak to weight loss when you're already small.

MississippiCatfish · April 2017

I love my lillebaby airflow. Never liked my moby. I have a ring sling that I love, but I just started using it around 6 months - I'm excited to try with a NB!

I always gain 5-10 pounds in the first tri

so I can't contribute to that convo. Stink.

baby3forme · April 2017

I was about 128 when I got pregnant with DD1. So average weight for my height. I lost 5 lbs in the first trimester and doctor said that was fine and normal. However, I never really started gaining weight until about 30 weeks which did concern her. At 30 weeks I had gained about 8 lbs total. She basically told me to eat as much as possible which was hard because I also had GD and had to log everything I ate and show a dietician. From week 30 to 38 when I had her I gained 18 more pounds lol. So 26 lbs in total.

Soooo moral of the story is don't worry about weight gain, especially now. Towards the end you WILL pack on whatever baby needs. Until then, you're cool unless doctor says otherwise.

baker1jm2 · April 2017

@megankth I have a small subchronic hemorrige. Dr. Said they are pretty common and really not a concern unless you're bleeding a lot. I've been lucky and had no bleeding. My. Dr wasn't even going to do any extra ultra sounds but I insisted on a 10 week to check on it. Mine shrunk so no extra monitoring now. I was completely freaked out but the ultra sound tech and my dr. Assured me they see them all the time

bravoandprosecco · April 2017

I never got into the unstructured one bc it took too long to fold and always made my shirt ride up but other people love them so maybe it's just me! @liz4382

ArtificialRed · April 2017

@slaven my sister raved about the merino wool pjs (possibly a sleep sack?) she had for my nephew. I think I'll look into it this time around too.

We keep our house cooler now than we used to when DS was a baby. (Budget awareness is much better now lol.) I can't stand fleece pjs or blankets because they don't breathe, but DS insists on fleece pjs and it doesn't phase him. He's four though and I obviously worry less about his temperature than I would with a newborn/infant. Wool might be the way to go..

Any STMs not swaddle their babies or plan to try not swaddling this go round? We had such a hard time transitioning to sleep without the swaddle that I'm tempted to not start it at all. I plan on getting a dockatot, and my hope is that provides the needed coziness and then we only have to worry about the occasional startle awake from flying hands. But I can't decide if that's just ridiculously optimistic or not.

baby3forme · April 2017

@ArtificialRed We swaddled both babies for the first month, but dropped it before they could get attached.

JDW0325 · April 2017

I will swaddle #2 until college if that's what it takes

edit- my emoji didn't work.

dragonfly87-2 · April 2017

ArtificialRed I have heard great reviews for the Zipadee Zip which is kind of in between a sleep sack and swaddling. Might be worth looking into...

MississippiCatfish · April 2017

I have tried the zipadee zip, woombie and magic sleep suit on 2 of my kids when they got too big/strong to swaddle. They didn't like any of them. My suggestion would be to wait and see your kids preferences before buying lots of that stuff - might need it, might not. Might need it but they don't care and wont sleep and you can't do a darn thing about it.....

totally not jaded.

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