Updated BF.... SO went over to his mom's house today and now he is trying to convince me to bring her to the anatomy scan because she wants to be present during all of the "emotional moments" like finding out the gender, etc. He now sees no point in doing an elective if we are already going to know the gender.
What bothers me the most about all of this is not once has she asked me what I feel comfortable with or waited to be invited to these things. She has basically just invited herself.
I hate this. I also hate that he is not being more supportive of what his partner and the mother of his child wants. Maybe an UO, but I don't this it's appropriate for her to be there - this is a medical visit. An important one. Not a MIL bonding moment. And it's not appropriate for him to want to include her in all your "emotional moments."
Updated BF.... SO went over to his mom's house today and now he is trying to convince me to bring her to the anatomy scan because she wants to be present during all of the "emotional moments" like finding out the gender, etc. He now sees no point in doing an elective if we are already going to know the gender.
What bothers me the most about all of this is not once has she asked me what I feel comfortable with or waited to be invited to these things. She has basically just invited herself.
Girl you need to put your foot down... she needs to know that you aren't a pushover and she can't do stuff like this!
@msashley2010-2, I agree with the others--put your foot down. Nope. Just nope. It is a medical appointment, not just to 'see' whether baby is a he or a she. I understand that this is SO's first, but you know what, this is Y'ALL'S baby not MIL's. If she wants to share in it, she can pay for the elective and see baby then. SO needs to realize it's for y'all and not her. Off soap box.
Oh and thanks lady! Callum (DS2) is fine...I'm not too concerned, just more annoyed. He is all bruised today from the missed sticks...DH told me I should've pulled rank and done it myself...not gonna happen, but maybe I'll be more adimant next time?!
My BF is about my BIL. He is being a cuntasaurus today. DH and I weren't able to help him paint his house he just bought two weeks ago. BIL didn't help us paint or do anything when we purchased our home, and he didn't bother asking us to help until literally the night before they closed because we happened to run into each other at the paint store that evening.
So now BIL is being pissy and decided that he doesn't want DH and I to come to the family Easter dinner they are hosting at his house. At least I won't have to spend Easter dealing with his pretentious bull.
@msashley2010-2 I hope you stick to your guns! No one should be in that appointment you aren't 100% comfortable being there. I know she's just excited to be a grandma, but she had her own children, her own chance to be there for every exciting moment, and now she's being intrusive.
@JNR6510 It seems really petty that he would uninvite you to a family gathering because you aren't able to help him paint. Sounds as though that's an Easter I'd rather not attend anyway!!!
I talked to SO this evening and said we can do the elective if I want to but that he feels it is a waste of time. I told him that he doesn't have to agree with my reasoning, but he at least needs to respect my decision and my comfort level because it is our child and not hers. He is worried about making her "feel bad." And I told him that I don't understand how that could possibly be an issue when I am offering to pay to give her the experience that she is looking to have and I don't appreciate him taking her feelings into consideration over mine.
The discussion pretty much ended there. I'm not going to be guilted into doing something that I do not want to do.
@JNR6510 what a jerk! So petty...you should let DH handle that temper tantrum and when anyone asks why y'all aren't there--tell the truth. I'm sorry he's being that way.
@msashley2010-2 he should be less worried about his mom and more worried about you. You do you girl...absolutely ridiculous.
@msashley2010-2 oh man that stinks. I get his mom wanting to be there but I wouldn't want them her there either due to what you said. My mom didn't hold it in as a secret either and told my dad, my brother, and who know who else before she finally respected our decision to wait to announce until we were in the 2nd tri. I love her to death but I wouldn't want her in there either for the secret thing and because I agree if anything comes up that may sound bad I'd rather be the one to ask the questions and deal whatever the answers might be with DH.
As far as DH telling you another ultrasound is pointless, that's ridiculous. I know any time I'd get to see the baby is a great day and my DH feels the same way it helps him feel more connected. If it comes up again maybe try to spin it that way.
@msashley2010-2 that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! All the rage!! I wouldn't have MIL at the anatomy scan either, especially if my own mother wasn't there. And newsflash, you don't have to find out the gender right then. You all can find out together if a baker bakes the cake with the right color. I'm appalled at your husband for being so inconsiderate of you! He sounds like my husband, not wanting to hurt his mother's feelings. Is he an only child by chance?? All the hugs. You sound like you got this under control and appalled tee doing everything right! Now they just need to suck it up appalled trend say okay.
Me: 27 years old DH: 27 years old Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
Married in July 2014
TTC #1 since late Feb 2016
BFP #1 3/29/16 MMC: 5/5/16 BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16 BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17 My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast: Juicebox Podcast Episode 118 A1Cs: 1/12/16 6.7% 5/25/16 6.0% 11/2/16 6.1% 3/22/16 5.8% 4/27/17 5.4% 6/13/17 5.3% "Sugar Fancy Tutu"
@Sugargirl1019 He is not an only child but he is the youngest out of three sons. And his mother's youngest grandchild is older than I am. I understand her being excited. But I'm not going to sacrifice my comfort for her feelings. (And I honestly don't think her feelings are going to be hurt by us paying to get an elective ultrasound just for her.)
I decided to book an elective gender ultrasound for this Thursday evening. That way my daughter can also be there and his mom can have the experience she wants. Then this Friday we will get the anatomy scan and they can focus just on making sure baby is okay and that can be done privately with just myself and SO.
Thank you ladies for being so supportive. SO was pulling a real guilt trip and it's a relief to hear that I'm not an odd ball for feeling this way.
Update on my conversion crib dilemma. I went to babies r us today and talked to a few people. The crib we have was up front and center, so when they couldn't pull up the conversion kit I asked how in the world they could sell a crib with no kit available? I was totally nice though. Two of the associates couldn't figure it out after about 15 minutes, just wasn't in the system. I called Bertini while I was standing there, the manufacturer, and the guy was so nice. He told me to hand the phone to the ladies. Apparently there's a nationwide "glitch" in the special order system for babies r us and nobody in the store knew? But the Bertini guy did. He was actually looking at the kit I needed as we spoke. Sooooo, as soon as they figure it out and fix it, I can physically come back to the store and order it. Then it'll be 12-16 weeks before it arrives. It was not discontinued! Hooooraaaay!! Still ladies: order them now! Ha. Also, it was really hard walking out of that store without buying anything.
@CSL522 ahhhh that's the worst!! Makes a terrible back log in patients. Heaven forbid anything complicated or abnormal come up...your day is screwed! I've found that sometimes YouTube has some better tutorials/ideas than the 'trainers'
@DPandMB we just converted to EPIC 3 weeks ago. It's getting easier each day, but man is it busy! It's not user friendly when trying to see previous patient encounters, which is so annoying.
@DPandMB we converted to Epic. I imagine once everyone gets the hang of it and the glitches worked out it will be great. But returning from vacation to something completely foreign is stressful.
@DPandMB we converted to Epic. I imagine once everyone gets the hang of it and the glitches worked out it will be great. But returning from vacation to something completely foreign is stressful.
Everyone I know who has Epic LOVES it!
Me: 27 years old DH: 27 years old Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
Married in July 2014
TTC #1 since late Feb 2016
BFP #1 3/29/16 MMC: 5/5/16 BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16 BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17 My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast: Juicebox Podcast Episode 118 A1Cs: 1/12/16 6.7% 5/25/16 6.0% 11/2/16 6.1% 3/22/16 5.8% 4/27/17 5.4% 6/13/17 5.3% "Sugar Fancy Tutu"
@Sugargirl1019 that's good. I think it all depends which side/application you are using.
@CSL522 and @jessieR358 switching is always hard. The first 2-3 weeks suck, then it gets nice and easy and everyone loves it, then you hit the "valley of despair." It usually happens around 5-6 weeks in, when all of your support has left, patient load increases, and you are getting into the more complicated workflows. It will get better though. Which side of the house do y'all use Epic for?
@DPandMB that's funny you think we have support to help us....lol...not our company. We have our fellow coworkers as "super users" and that's it. I'm in an outpatient walk in setting so luckily it won't get any more complicated but I'm sure our patient load will increase in the next several weeks/months.
@DPandMB that's funny you think we have support to help us....lol...not our company. We have our fellow coworkers as "super users" and that's it. I'm in an outpatient walk in setting so luckily it won't get any more complicated but I'm sure our patient load will increase in the next several weeks/months.
@jessieR358 and @DPandMB we have "super users" too but I feel like every question I ask gets the "um let me check on that." I'm also outpatient at a large multi-specialty practice.
Re: Bitchfest Monday 4/3
Oh and thanks lady! Callum (DS2) is fine...I'm not too concerned, just more annoyed. He is all bruised today from the missed sticks...DH told me I should've pulled rank and done it myself...not gonna happen, but maybe I'll be more adimant next time?!
So now BIL is being pissy and decided that he doesn't want DH and I to come to the family Easter dinner they are hosting at his house. At least I won't have to spend Easter dealing with his pretentious bull.
The discussion pretty much ended there. I'm not going to be guilted into doing something that I do not want to do.
@msashley2010-2 he should be less worried about his mom and more worried about you. You do you girl...absolutely ridiculous.
As far as DH telling you another ultrasound is pointless, that's ridiculous. I know any time I'd get to see the baby is a great day and my DH feels the same way it helps him feel more connected. If it comes up again maybe try to spin it that way.
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
I decided to book an elective gender ultrasound for this Thursday evening. That way my daughter can also be there and his mom can have the experience she wants. Then this Friday we will get the anatomy scan and they can focus just on making sure baby is okay and that can be done privately with just myself and SO.
Thank you ladies for being so supportive. SO was pulling a real guilt trip and it's a relief to hear that I'm not an odd ball for feeling this way.
**hugs**
Suck it, SO.
Also, it was really hard walking out of that store without buying anything.
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
Oh. I am a builder for Epic. I was going to try and help or at least commiserate with you.
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
@CSL522 and @jessieR358 switching is always hard. The first 2-3 weeks suck, then it gets nice and easy and everyone loves it, then you hit the "valley of despair." It usually happens around 5-6 weeks in, when all of your support has left, patient load increases, and you are getting into the more complicated workflows. It will get better though. Which side of the house do y'all use Epic for?
and that's it. I'm in an outpatient walk in setting so luckily it won't get any more complicated but I'm sure our patient load will increase in the next several weeks/months.
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
Not the best application, but not the worst.
Hang in there both of you. Feel free to pm if you have questions.