One of the things that bugs me about my MIL (and this is the stupidest thing to be annoyed about) but she calls my husbands dad 'daddy'. If we are over and his dad is not there she will be like "Daddy went to the store to get beer" or "Daddy went to get dinner" and it makes me cringe so hard. First of all he isn't your dad he's your husband. Second of all your child is 30 years old. If you're going to refer to him in that way call him DAD not DADDY. He isn't 5.
There are so many other (much more valid) reasons that I am not BFF's with her, nor ever will be. Same goes for my FIL and BIL. They have the best of intentions but they are very different people then the family that I come from. I come from an incredibly chill family- we never fight, never have a problem with anything, etc. His family is the kind of family who goes out to eat and has an issue with every food/drink/etc. ordered for no reason. My MIL seems to pick a fight with everyone. I just don't do drama and they seem to thrive off of it. No thank you. It's interesting because my husband is nothing like them.
Will definitely be interesting with them once this baby comes.
One of the things that bugs me about my MIL (and this is the stupidest thing to be annoyed about) but she calls my husbands dad 'daddy'. If we are over and his dad is not there she will be like "Daddy went to the store to get beer" or "Daddy went to get dinner" and it makes me cringe so hard. First of all he isn't your dad he's your husband. Second of all your child is 30 years old. If you're going to refer to him in that way call him DAD not DADDY. He isn't 5.
There are so many other (much more valid) reasons that I am not BFF's with her, nor ever will be. Same goes for my FIL and BIL. They have the best of intentions but they are very different people then the family that I come from. I come from an incredibly chill family- we never fight, never have a problem with anything, etc. His family is the kind of family who goes out to eat and has an issue with every food/drink/etc. ordered for no reason. My MIL seems to pick a fight with everyone. I just don't do drama and they seem to thrive off of it. No thank you. It's interesting because my husband is nothing like them.
Will definitely be interesting with them once this baby comes.
She's probably been referring to him as daddy longer than she's ever referred to him by his first name.
My husband and I were together for nine years before we had our first child, and I call him dad or daddy around her out of respect because that's what she knows him as. I'm sure after 20 years of calling him daddy/dad every day it'll probably stick.
@Myelhsa Yeah I mean I get it. I'm sure it's just what she's been calling him for years. But why not say "Your dad"? It's way less creepy to me. I'm going to make a conscious effort to say "your dad/daddy" when referring to my husband and not call him daddy.
Honestly I had never even thought about it and then about a year ago was listening to a podcast and they were talking about it and now I'm like damn.. wish I had never heard that episode!
My in-laws live 9 1/2 hours away. They do not come to visit us and most of them get mad at us because they think we should go there more than twice a year. They don't understand that the road goes both ways and they think since DH is the only one that moved away, he should be the one to visit. SIL has come for DD's birthdays but the rest of them have only been here once, 9 years ago, for our wedding.
MIL is bat shit crazy. None of her kids have a relationship with her anymore. They all hold resentment towards her for past actions and don't like to deal with her shit now. She acts like a teenager and doesn't care about anyone except for herself. She used to mispronounce my name on purpose to annoy me and now she calls my mom by the wrong name, on purpose (we know it's on purpose because she only does it to her face, if she is talking or asking about her, she uses the correct name). Other than holidays, DH doesn't talk to her anymore. His breaking point with her was when DD had a severe allergic reaction and ended up in the hospital. He called his mom to tell her, she didn't answer so he left her messages (on her home phone, cell phone and text) that DD was in the hospital. She never bothered to call him back. She didn't find out for a year and a half what had actually happened and then she acted all pissed that we didn't try harder to tell her. DH told her off and has barely talked to her since.
FIL is great. He was in a car accident 30 something years ago and suffered traumatic brain injury. He has short term memory loss so he doesn't really know who I am or who DD is at first. Once we tell him he usually remembers for the next few days of our visits. DH has 2 brothers (and all three of them look similar) so FIL gets them mixed up as well. But he's a really cool guy and loves to tell stories of back in the day.
SIL is great. We get along well. I wish she lived closer.
BIL 1 is an ass. He's ok sometimes but mostly just acts like a jerk and thinks he's better than everyone. His wife is great though, she's always nice and welcoming.
BIL 2 just turned 21. We don't talk to him much because he's in college and doing his own thing right now but he's a good person and has a good heart. Since he's the youngest and was the only one left at home, he took the brunt of MIL's crap. Now that he moved out, he doesn't talk to her either.
Phew. If you made it that far, thank you for reading!! Haha
@migdala I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it weird! Even if she called him dad it wouldn't be as weird (would still be weird.. just not as weird lol). Her kids are 27 and 30 now.. she should have stopped referring to him as daddy like 15 years ago.
@bluejeanbabi05 ya it's Def not helpful to have someone at your house a couple days after you give birth hogging your baby and watching you cook and clean while your recovering. Your emotions are also super out of control. She would stand at the bottom of my stairs when I would come down from nursing holding out her hands for me to hand the baby over (i popped my stitches going up and down the stairs that weekend bc I wasn't comfortable nursing in front of her and she wouldn't leave the room). It was just a super awful long week that she was there but lesson learned.
Well I don't have any IL's to deal with. Both of my DH's parents have passed. Father on a car accident and mother of 6th stroke.
Only their 3 unmarried grandmas(sisters of their biological grandma who already passed) are watching over them since both parents passed away. They are very controlling and wants to get in on everything that has anything to do with anyone. We're ok but noy close.
I'm fine with my 1 SIL and 2 BIL. The SIL hated me at first because she was close friends with the ex, but started having a casual relationship after me and DH has been together for about 7 months or so. DH's other 2 brothers are ok. We're not that close but we have an OK relationship I guess. Although I kinda don't like DH's younger brother, he has 2 sons and can barely provide for them, he always rely on my DH for financial support and I'm kinda pissed because we're having a baby soon and we would need all our money for baby so he can't keep on just relying to us. He has to grow up and learn to provide for his own family.
I currently live with DH and his 3 sibs and the gounger brother's wife. It's a big house. But I planning to move out as soon as I give birth. I don't like other people meddling with our lives or choises or decissions we have to make. I don't like people trying to tell us how we should live our lives. DH is trying his best to keep me here, I'll probably wait and see how things go. But if I really hate it I'd leave no matter what.
@bluejeanbabi05 ya it's Def not helpful to have someone at your house a couple days after you give birth hogging your baby and watching you cook and clean while your recovering. Your emotions are also super out of control. She would stand at the bottom of my stairs when I would come down from nursing holding out her hands for me to hand the baby over (i popped my stitches going up and down the stairs that weekend bc I wasn't comfortable nursing in front of her and she wouldn't leave the room). It was just a super awful long week that she was there but lesson learned.
If this ever happens to me I'll proly let it go once or twice, if it becomes a habit I'll tell my DH to talk to her. Have you talked to your DH?
@lin1019 it's just how she is..she was the same way with my sil when she had her kids. Sat around and watched her do cooking and cleaning while she held the baby. I just thought it was an unwritten rule that if you're going to visit someone who just had a baby you helped out. I don't think it'll be as much of an issue this time bc they live near us now so they'll be no reason for her to stay at our house...last time she'd come stay for weeks at a time. DH never talked to her but told me I just need to stop being so nice and tell her how it's going to be...which is true
@lin1019 it's just how she is..she was the same way with my sil when she had her kids. Sat around and watched her do cooking and cleaning while she held the baby. I just thought it was an unwritten rule that if you're going to visit someone who just had a baby you helped out. I don't think it'll be as much of an issue this time bc they live near us now so they'll be no reason for her to stay at our house...last time she'd come stay for weeks at a time. DH never talked to her but told me I just need to stop being so nice and tell her how it's going to be...which is true
I hate telling off any family members on DH's side. I always talk to him and he talks to them. Not me talking directly to them. I don't want to get in between their family. And yes, her sitting atound like that also makes me think its kinda rude. But I really hope it gets better for you this time around!
I won't need to tell her off..we actually get along really well most of the time. I just need to be more direct and say "if you're coming to hang out for the day I need help with A, B and C. I think I just get more annoyed with her bc she's not my mom. It's easier to tell my mom when she's doing something that's bothering me than it is to tell the mil.
Omg I don't even know where to start with this, so I guess the good ones first?
My FIL is a good guy. He's very chill and just goes with the flow, because the rest of the family has enough drama to last ages. He does little things that irritate me, but that's family.
Dh's sister is...something else. We can get along just fine and then she does something and I can't stand her for a while. She makes shitty decisions, is married to someone who is a child and asshole all rolled into one. She didn't want to call of their wedding when they were having problems because it was "too embarrassing to call off an engagement". I guess marrying someone you shouldn't be is less embarrassing?
My brothers current wife is nice, I've only met her twice, but she is MUCH more tolerable and sane than his first wife was. They live 800 miles away, so I don't have a chance to get to really know her unless we move out there next summer like I want to
Now my MIL is a pill. She can act like she's doing all these favors for you, that everything is great, but then her inner teenager comes out and she's talking shit about you behind your back (namely to your husband). She also has no understanding of overstepping boundaries. She feels entitled to taking our kids to do stuff whenever she wants, and a lot of it is traditions that we as parents should be doing, not her (easter eggs, Christmas cookies, pumpkin carving, she made dd2 a birthday cake without asking me and took that from me last year. It's a big deal when you're a sentimental sap like I am). She will also tell people that she has our kids all the time and make it sound like we are using her as daycare. Totally false. We ask her maybe once every other month to watch them.
She has lied to us, stolen things and lied about it, took out a credit card in Dh's name when he was like 18 or 19, defaulted on it, ruined his credit and then tried to say it was her card that somehow "accidentally" ended up on his credit report. Yeah, ok. If you try to explain to her that she's overstepping or not to do certain things with our kids, she'll immediately turn it around to us being assholes and she's the victim. She will ask something but it's not actually asking, she's telling you. Because if you say no, victim card. I could go on for days, but that about sums it up.
She has lied to us, stolen things and lied about it, took out a credit card in Dh's name when he was like 18 or 19, defaulted on it, ruined his credit and then tried to say it was her card that somehow "accidentally" ended up on his credit report.
@sjohns08 You win for the craziest MIL. That is incredible.
She has lied to us, stolen things and lied about it, took out a credit card in Dh's name when he was like 18 or 19, defaulted on it, ruined his credit and then tried to say it was her card that somehow "accidentally" ended up on his credit report.
@sjohns08 You win for the craziest MIL. That is incredible.
Thats exactly what I would ve written for my aunt (moms sister who lived with us my entire childhood) but thats for another thread!
@sjohns08 i hope u dont get to deal with that craziness on a daily even weekly basis!
@sjohns08 your MIL sounds a lot like mine, childish and always playing the victim.
Also, I feel you on the traditions thing. I went back to work when DD was 1 and my mom watched her everyday. She would do all the things you mentioned with her without even saying anything and I would get there to pick her up and she'd be like oh we did Easter eggs or pumpkins or whatever it was, stuff that she knew I was looking forward to doing. Then most of the time DD would be like nah I don't want to do this again, I already did it with Grandma. I would get so upset. I still get mad if she takes it upon herself to do those things before I get to, but she only watches her 2 days a week now so it doesn't happen as much.
@dajocl it makes me so sad because no one wants "that" mil, they want the ones that feel like second moms. Which for a while, I thought might happen after she got over the fact dh and I actually *were* going to make it and we worked through some kinks.
But the more I've sat back and put things together from over the years and really paid attention to things currently, the more I realize how bsc she is. And dh isn't blind, but he is the typical "well, she's my mom, what am I supposed to do?". I can't blame him, but I wish he would stop just letting her get away with things without any pushback from him when it's called for
@yasandson I am ever so fortunate that we actually live 3 whole blocks from them and she calls dh more throughout the day than I talk to him
@Colada584 I'm sorry you deal with it too. It's so hard, we only get so many chances to experience firsts and traditions with our kids and to have them taken away is brutal. She watched dd1 for me when I still worked and she took it upon herself to buy her her first underwear and try to get her to go on the potty. Which a lot of other moms didn't get the big deal. But come on. Maybe I wanted to go pick out my own child's first underwear because it's a step towards being a big kid that I want to celebrate with her, plus, it just seems odd to me. She did it again with dd2 on her birthday a couple weeks ago, got her her first underwear. To me it's one of those things that should at least require communication first. A simple "hey, I was going to go buy such and such, is that alright?" Would be appreciated so I can at least tell her "oh, we were going to go out and do that this weekend, so thanks but we've got it covered". Even though she would get pissy, I would still get to stand my ground when it matters to me
I legit hit the In-law lotto. MIL + FIL are supportive, funny, kind, generous and just about every good quality you could ask for. MIL takes DD once a week so we can have a date night + one morning a week to sleep in. They are just amazing people. I have 2 BILs who are also awesome, they're the little brothers I never had
Ah... The in laws. I get along with MIL/FIL and for the most part all 3 SIL but I can't trust them. We have my son from another bun (step son) and they have a relationship with his mom, which is fine except in a few separate instances I have confided in my MIL and one SIL only to have it get back to baby momma. I feel like my ILs don't care to be there or love my son as much because they'll take planes and send gifts to see the other nieces and nephews but not my son. I often wonder if it has to do with having 2 kids from a previous marriage. It bothered me for a while but my family is supportive and SO is on my side. We're focusing on the family we are making together.
@sjohns08 You're definitely right when you say no one wants "that" MIL. I am so sorry you have to deal with it, and sorry that your husband doesn't do much but it is understandable. I hope he fins out someday that he can still stand up to her with out ruining things. Mine was that way about his mother at first, but over the years has come to push back when she does certain things. Once our son was born he made it clear to her that she needs to respect our wishes and if she doesn't she won't get to be around for the little stuff. We will always do holidays, birthdays etc. with them but not the everyday things if she can't respect us as parents.
I have all sorts of in-laws and generally, the relationships are all decent with annoyances here and there. H and I have been together for 12+ years, so I've known them all for a long time and have adapted to/distanced from them when necessary.
My MIL can be very overbearing and I'm really interested to see how she is when the baby is born. H has one brother and she is way way way more involved in their life on a day-to-day basis and it's due in part to them having a child. But she's also always seemed to like me more and trust that I know what I'm doing, so I don't think she's going to try to insert herself into our lives daily post-baby. I can only hope! H's parents are long-divorced (so are mine) and both of his are remarried. SFIL is a good guy and doesn't say much.
My FIL is a nice guy who routinely lets H down. I have had some issues with him back when we were wedding planning which is probably petty now. H's half-sister was a bridesmaid and when it came to dress buying, I just made sure everyone ordered by the first part of November to make sure everything came in in time for my March 1 wedding. I learned at Christmas that they had not yet ordered her dress; they assured me they were ordering it that week. I got a call a few weeks (late January) later from a bridal dress shop confirming what style I wanted to order because it would have to be rushed since it was so late and offering other in-stock options. I was bitter, made them order the rushed dress that matched, and then had to pay for it and they never paid me back. SMIL is a real piece of work and a constant source of drama for H and his brother. I feel awkward being around her and avoid it as much as possible.
My BIL is a weird dude and wants to desperately to be best friends with H. They weren't close growing up and just do not have similar personalities so I'm not sure why he so desires. They invite us to all their friend get-togethers and we go probably 1/5 of the time. His wife is wonderful, though, and I like talking with her.
My sister's fiance is from a very different background than my family. He had a rough childhood and spent much of his time in and out of jail for minor issues but has changed his life around. He gets on my nerves as he's the breadwinner of the family and doesn't want anyone, including my sister, to forget it. I'm considered "uppity" to him, but it's again just because we're so different.
I have great in-laws. DH is so similar to his father that's probably why we get along. We do disagree politically and have had some convos over the years lol but nothing crazy. MIL is very sweet, We are lucky to have her. We are lucky our families don't meddle in our lives. MIL and FIL help out BIL/SIL a lot. Like financially and with the kids. And we never want that to be us. So it's been kind of annoying in that regard but hey, it's their life whatever works for them. We are good on our own and want to keep it that way. They live closer than us anyways so I guess that's how it is.
BIL and SIL are nice and we all get along, but not bffs or anything. They just are different than we are so there's not a ton of common ground. Dh and his brother have always been pretty different.
My sister and BIL we used to hang out with a lot before they had kids but she is six years older so kind of in a different place in life and we are also a lot different than them (like on the opposite spectrum of BIL/SIL mentioned above and it has gotten more apparent as we've gotten older) for example: BIL/SIL don't really have a bed time for their kids, eat fast food, house is always a mess, etc. Dh and I kind of cringe at that. My sister/BIL are like type A to a T...rarely go out because of the kids, have strict early bed time, always need to have house spotless, etc, and DH and I kind of cringe at that too. Lol. Not that either of those is bad...we are just hoping to strive for some sort of a middle ground with our growing family.
My brother has a gf that we all like which is great. They've been together 5 years so probably going to see a proposal soon, it's just so damn expensive where we live it's hard to pay rent and buy a ring lol.
my parents are another story, great people and DH likes having them as in laws, but they are separated and going through their own thing right now so Dh has been there with me through navigating that. Fun.!
I absolutely adore my in-laws. Both FIL and MIL are extremely supportive. At first Hubby's family was Extremely overwhelming since there are so many of them. They do Sunday suppers or brunch every Sunday. With all of them, which at current count is 27 people.
Example as to why I love them: Our first DD was born with a bilateral cleft lip, we found out on a delivery table. When my parents came in, my mama said bless her heart which if you are from the south you know what that means if it is said about a baby...that baby is not pretty. It's kind of the equivalent of saying she was hit with the ugly stick by every branch on the tree. My mother-in-law came in and said she is beautiful. When she has to have surgery is my in-laws keep my children not my parents. Then again my in-laws came to our wedding not my parents. We all live in the same town.
Divorce sister-in-law does get a lot of help from them. The divorce was ugly though and so we understand. Plus her boys need a good father figure in their life even if it's their grandpa.
Rich sister-in-law and brother-in-law think that their son is absolutely the best thing in the whole world. I just want them to adopt Me for birthdays and Christmas so I can get awesome gifts too.
Homeschool in-laws talk really bad about public education. And as a public school teacher I have to bite my tongue a lot.
Baby in-laws have baby child syndrome. They complain a lot about how everything is always somebody else's fault.
I feel bad for my hubby because he did not win the Inlaw lottery. My mama and daddy refused to come to my wedding because my little brother got divorced and decided to bring his friend. Our oldest can't go over to their house because the third hand smoke but she can't have anywhere near her face and watch my mama doesn't believe exist. Even though I've sent her medical journal articles talking about the rest of their hands like to cleft children. Mama even told hubby to get out While he still could before we got married. When we told her we were pregnant with her third her response was "death come knocking at my door". Hubby Responded with sweet our baby is theharbinger of death. I could go on and on but I won't.
i love my in laws. I feel i've really lucked out. MIL, FIL & one SIL(plus her husband) and the sweetest nephew i could ask for. They are the kind of people that always see the good in every situation. It's really refreshing. They're in VA and we are in NY, and know the distance worries them that they won't see their grandchild as often as they like. Personally i think a little distance is good
My SIL and I are pregnant at the same time, with our EDD's 5 days apart. Completely unplanned. Its been fun as we talk more now more than ever, and we're so excited that our kids will have a cousin so close to them.
Re: GTKY : Your In Laws !
There are so many other (much more valid) reasons that I am not BFF's with her, nor ever will be. Same goes for my FIL and BIL. They have the best of intentions but they are very different people then the family that I come from. I come from an incredibly chill family- we never fight, never have a problem with anything, etc. His family is the kind of family who goes out to eat and has an issue with every food/drink/etc. ordered for no reason. My MIL seems to pick a fight with everyone. I just don't do drama and they seem to thrive off of it. No thank you. It's interesting because my husband is nothing like them.
Will definitely be interesting with them once this baby comes.
My husband and I were together for nine years before we had our first child, and I call him dad or daddy around her out of respect because that's what she knows him as. I'm sure after 20 years of calling him daddy/dad every day it'll probably stick.
Honestly I had never even thought about it and then about a year ago was listening to a podcast and they were talking about it and now I'm like damn.. wish I had never heard that episode!
MIL is bat shit crazy. None of her kids have a relationship with her anymore. They all hold resentment towards her for past actions and don't like to deal with her shit now. She acts like a teenager and doesn't care about anyone except for herself. She used to mispronounce my name on purpose to annoy me and now she calls my mom by the wrong name, on purpose (we know it's on purpose because she only does it to her face, if she is talking or asking about her, she uses the correct name). Other than holidays, DH doesn't talk to her anymore. His breaking point with her was when DD had a severe allergic reaction and ended up in the hospital. He called his mom to tell her, she didn't answer so he left her messages (on her home phone, cell phone and text) that DD was in the hospital. She never bothered to call him back. She didn't find out for a year and a half what had actually happened and then she acted all pissed that we didn't try harder to tell her. DH told her off and has barely talked to her since.
FIL is great. He was in a car accident 30 something years ago and suffered traumatic brain injury. He has short term memory loss so he doesn't really know who I am or who DD is at first. Once we tell him he usually remembers for the next few days of our visits. DH has 2 brothers (and all three of them look similar) so FIL gets them mixed up as well. But he's a really cool guy and loves to tell stories of back in the day.
SIL is great. We get along well. I wish she lived closer.
BIL 1 is an ass. He's ok sometimes but mostly just acts like a jerk and thinks he's better than everyone. His wife is great though, she's always nice and welcoming.
BIL 2 just turned 21. We don't talk to him much because he's in college and doing his own thing right now but he's a good person and has a good heart. Since he's the youngest and was the only one left at home, he took the brunt of MIL's crap. Now that he moved out, he doesn't talk to her either.
Phew. If you made it that far, thank you for reading!! Haha
Only their 3 unmarried grandmas(sisters of their biological grandma who already passed) are watching over them since both parents passed away. They are very controlling and wants to get in on everything that has anything to do with anyone. We're ok but noy close.
I'm fine with my 1 SIL and 2 BIL. The SIL hated me at first because she was close friends with the ex, but started having a casual relationship after me and DH has been together for about 7 months or so. DH's other 2 brothers are ok. We're not that close but we have an OK relationship I guess. Although I kinda don't like DH's younger brother, he has 2 sons and can barely provide for them, he always rely on my DH for financial support and I'm kinda pissed because we're having a baby soon and we would need all our money for baby so he can't keep on just relying to us. He has to grow up and learn to provide for his own family.
I currently live with DH and his 3 sibs and the gounger brother's wife. It's a big house. But I planning to move out as soon as I give birth. I don't like other people meddling with our lives or choises or decissions we have to make. I don't like people trying to tell us how we should live our lives. DH is trying his best to keep me here, I'll probably wait and see how things go. But if I really hate it I'd leave no matter what.
Eta. Added a few details
My FIL is a good guy. He's very chill and just goes with the flow, because the rest of the family has enough drama to last ages. He does little things that irritate me, but that's family.
Dh's sister is...something else. We can get along just fine and then she does something and I can't stand her for a while. She makes shitty decisions, is married to someone who is a child and asshole all rolled into one. She didn't want to call of their wedding when they were having problems because it was "too embarrassing to call off an engagement". I guess marrying someone you shouldn't be is less embarrassing?
My brothers current wife is nice, I've only met her twice, but she is MUCH more tolerable and sane than his first wife was. They live 800 miles away, so I don't have a chance to get to really know her unless we move out there next summer like I want to
Now my MIL is a pill. She can act like she's doing all these favors for you, that everything is great, but then her inner teenager comes out and she's talking shit about you behind your back (namely to your husband). She also has no understanding of overstepping boundaries. She feels entitled to taking our kids to do stuff whenever she wants, and a lot of it is traditions that we as parents should be doing, not her (easter eggs, Christmas cookies, pumpkin carving, she made dd2 a birthday cake without asking me and took that from me last year. It's a big deal when you're a sentimental sap like I am). She will also tell people that she has our kids all the time and make it sound like we are using her as daycare. Totally false. We ask her maybe once every other month to watch them.
She has lied to us, stolen things and lied about it, took out a credit card in Dh's name when he was like 18 or 19, defaulted on it, ruined his credit and then tried to say it was her card that somehow "accidentally" ended up on his credit report. Yeah, ok. If you try to explain to her that she's overstepping or not to do certain things with our kids, she'll immediately turn it around to us being assholes and she's the victim. She will ask something but it's not actually asking, she's telling you. Because if you say no, victim card. I could go on for days, but that about sums it up.
@sjohns08 i hope u dont get to deal with that craziness on a daily even weekly basis!
Also, I feel you on the traditions thing. I went back to work when DD was 1 and my mom watched her everyday. She would do all the things you mentioned with her without even saying anything and I would get there to pick her up and she'd be like oh we did Easter eggs or pumpkins or whatever it was, stuff that she knew I was looking forward to doing. Then most of the time DD would be like nah I don't want to do this again, I already did it with Grandma. I would get so upset. I still get mad if she takes it upon herself to do those things before I get to, but she only watches her 2 days a week now so it doesn't happen as much.
But the more I've sat back and put things together from over the years and really paid attention to things currently, the more I realize how bsc she is. And dh isn't blind, but he is the typical "well, she's my mom, what am I supposed to do?". I can't blame him, but I wish he would stop just letting her get away with things without any pushback from him when it's called for
@Colada584 I'm sorry you deal with it too. It's so hard, we only get so many chances to experience firsts and traditions with our kids and to have them taken away is brutal. She watched dd1 for me when I still worked and she took it upon herself to buy her her first underwear and try to get her to go on the potty. Which a lot of other moms didn't get the big deal. But come on. Maybe I wanted to go pick out my own child's first underwear because it's a step towards being a big kid that I want to celebrate with her, plus, it just seems odd to me. She did it again with dd2 on her birthday a couple weeks ago, got her her first underwear. To me it's one of those things that should at least require communication first. A simple "hey, I was going to go buy such and such, is that alright?" Would be appreciated so I can at least tell her "oh, we were going to go out and do that this weekend, so thanks but we've got it covered". Even though she would get pissy, I would still get to stand my ground when it matters to me
My MIL can be very overbearing and I'm really interested to see how she is when the baby is born. H has one brother and she is way way way more involved in their life on a day-to-day basis and it's due in part to them having a child. But she's also always seemed to like me more and trust that I know what I'm doing, so I don't think she's going to try to insert herself into our lives daily post-baby. I can only hope! H's parents are long-divorced (so are mine) and both of his are remarried. SFIL is a good guy and doesn't say much.
My FIL is a nice guy who routinely lets H down. I have had some issues with him back when we were wedding planning which is probably petty now. H's half-sister was a bridesmaid and when it came to dress buying, I just made sure everyone ordered by the first part of November to make sure everything came in in time for my March 1 wedding. I learned at Christmas that they had not yet ordered her dress; they assured me they were ordering it that week. I got a call a few weeks (late January) later from a bridal dress shop confirming what style I wanted to order because it would have to be rushed since it was so late and offering other in-stock options. I was bitter, made them order the rushed dress that matched, and then had to pay for it and they never paid me back. SMIL is a real piece of work and a constant source of drama for H and his brother. I feel awkward being around her and avoid it as much as possible.
My BIL is a weird dude and wants to desperately to be best friends with H. They weren't close growing up and just do not have similar personalities so I'm not sure why he so desires. They invite us to all their friend get-togethers and we go probably 1/5 of the time. His wife is wonderful, though, and I like talking with her.
My sister's fiance is from a very different background than my family. He had a rough childhood and spent much of his time in and out of jail for minor issues but has changed his life around. He gets on my nerves as he's the breadwinner of the family and doesn't want anyone, including my sister, to forget it. I'm considered "uppity" to him, but it's again just because we're so different.
BFP: 10.3.16 | CP: 10.11.16
BFP: 12.14.16 | CP: 12.14.16
BFP: 1.23.17 | EDD 10.6.17 -- DS born 10.7.17
BFP: 9.9.18 | EDD 5.23.19 -- DD born 5.24.19
BFP: 9.1.21 | MC 10.1.21
BIL and SIL are nice and we all get along, but not bffs or anything. They just are different than we are so there's not a ton of common ground. Dh and his brother have always been pretty different.
My sister and BIL we used to hang out with a lot before they had kids but she is six years older so kind of in a different place in life and we are also a lot different than them (like on the opposite spectrum of BIL/SIL mentioned above and it has gotten more apparent as we've gotten older) for example: BIL/SIL don't really have a bed time for their kids, eat fast food, house is always a mess, etc. Dh and I kind of cringe at that. My sister/BIL are like type A to a T...rarely go out because of the kids, have strict early bed time, always need to have house spotless, etc, and DH and I kind of cringe at that too. Lol. Not that either of those is bad...we are just hoping to strive for some sort of a middle ground with our growing family.
My brother has a gf that we all like which is great. They've been together 5 years so probably going to see a proposal soon, it's just so damn expensive where we live it's hard to pay rent and buy a ring lol.
my parents are another story, great people and DH likes having them as in laws, but they are separated and going through their own thing right now so Dh has been there with me through navigating that. Fun.!
Me.30 DH.31
BFP 2/3/17...edd 10/13/17
Example as to why I love them: Our first DD was born with a bilateral cleft lip, we found out on a delivery table. When my parents came in, my mama said bless her heart which if you are from the south you know what that means if it is said about a baby...that baby is not pretty. It's kind of the equivalent of saying she was hit with the ugly stick by every branch on the tree. My mother-in-law came in and said she is beautiful. When she has to have surgery is my in-laws keep my children not my parents. Then again my in-laws came to our wedding not my parents. We all live in the same town.
Divorce sister-in-law does get a lot of help from them. The divorce was ugly though and so we understand. Plus her boys need a good father figure in their life even if it's their grandpa.
Rich sister-in-law and brother-in-law think that their son is absolutely the best thing in the whole world. I just want them to adopt Me for birthdays and Christmas so I can get awesome gifts too.
Homeschool in-laws talk really bad about public education. And as a public school teacher I have to bite my tongue a lot.
Baby in-laws have baby child syndrome. They complain a lot about how everything is always somebody else's fault.
I feel bad for my hubby because he did not win the Inlaw lottery. My mama and daddy refused to come to my wedding because my little brother got divorced and decided to bring his friend. Our oldest can't go over to their house because the third hand smoke but she can't have anywhere near her face and watch my mama doesn't believe exist. Even though I've sent her medical journal articles talking about the rest of their hands like to cleft children. Mama even told hubby to get out While he still could before we got married. When we told her we were pregnant with her third her response was "death come knocking at my door". Hubby Responded with sweet our baby is theharbinger of death. I could go on and on but I won't.
My SIL and I are pregnant at the same time, with our EDD's 5 days apart. Completely unplanned. Its been fun as we talk more now more than ever, and we're so excited that our kids will have a cousin so close to them.