GTKY : Your In Laws !

yasandson

So I know we've mentioned them here and there in other threads but lets reeeaally talk about them ! What kind of relationship do you have with you MIL, FAL, SIL/BIL ? Has is always been that way ? 

  

regardless of the gif....This is not a negative only kind of thread lol. I wanna hear them all, good and not so good  
edited to add : don't worry about lengthy comments ! I'll start mine in a few, might take me a while

jessafishy

I get along wonderfully with my MIL & FIL. They irritate me sometimes but no more than my own family does. My parents split up right after my freshman year of college and they were there for me so I feel like I have a stronger relationship with them because of that.

DH has two brothers, one I don't know very well because he lives across the country and the other I just had a big falling out with last month. We have never gotten along super great as it was but he is one of DH's best friends so I tried to just let it slide. Some crap went down last month when everyone was drunk (except me as I was freshly pregnant) and he basically told me he didn't like me, which led to he and DH getting into a verbal altercation and him throwing a punch at DH.

He gave me a few apologies that I didn't feel were sincere. So yeah. He's basically dead to me. 

bluejeanbabi05

I love my MIL (she's literally the nicest person you will ever meet in your life) and my DH's big family. I moved to Florida 7 years ago, and my family is small and scattered all over the county. DH's family immediately accepted me and made me feel like they were mine. I call his grandparents grandma and grandpa. 

That said, I have had some small dramaz with his sister, mostly in the first few years. Much better now. 

My FIL is the biggest problem child in DH's family, he's fun and a nice guy, but he harbors so much resentment toward my MIL's family (they were middle school sweethearts and got divorced about 15 years ago- he cheated and left her and is now married to the other woman.) He didn't even come to our rehearsal dinner because MIL hosted it *rolls eyes* Also, he's super macho and gives DH shit for anything he views as being not manly enough. He's mellowing out in his middle age, though, and DH is much better at dealing with him.

hippiegirl884

MIL and FIL are awesome! They are actually his grandparents but they raised DH from the age of 3. DH's bio mom is still very much part of the picture so she is like another MIL...she is cool too, just a little more unstable at times so there is sometimes drama with that, but otherwise I'm happy with the family I married. We don't live near any family and haven't lived near family for the past 6 years, so distance I'm sure makes the heart grow fonder. I wish we lived closer to family though, just to have a support system that I could easily trust and call up for help occasionally. 

carries2018

i love MIL/FIL they are really good people. but our relationship is strained. I was always scared they would be too involved when we had kids. its the exact opposite. they are slaves to my SIL (who has 4 kids, kept having more to get her precious girl. she has 4 boys ::evil laugh::). it is really heartbreaking, they are with SILs kids every day, SIL doesnt have to pay a dime in DC. SIL treats them like ish, yet there they are. SIL is a teacher and even in the summers MIL spends 7 days a week there and 0 with my kids (or H's brother's kids). we have just been let down so many times, and for H and I whatever...but now the kids are getting older and starting to notice.

SIL/her H - read above. just a spoiled brat, has no clue what life is. MIL/FIL have just done everything for her (they even do her yard work!!). she expects everything to be handed to her. her H is brainwashed into thinking this is all normal.

H's Brother/his wife - we had some dramaz early on with this SIL, but we talked like grown ups and now I am so thankful for her. we are different in just abuot everything (parenting styles, personalities, priorities etc). but she is a really good shoulder to vent on about the family drama. BIL is H's best friend. they live an hour away so we dont see them a lot, and they drive me crazy sometimes. but i love them!

aprilsarahjune

jessafishy said:

I get along wonderfully with my MIL & FIL. They irritate me sometimes but no more than my own family does. 

So much this.  My mom says dumb things.  My MIL says dumb things.  I say dumb things.  But overall, we get along splendidly. 

My mom is 18 years younger (!!!!!) than my MIL but they jointly take the kids all over the place and seem to like sharing grandkids.  They are the only grandkids on both sides, so both of them are making the most of it!

canonmom413

My MIL are friendly. I don't really think of her like my mom ( no one can be like my mom).  It like the relationship I have with my aunts. I love her and appreciate her,but at the same time , there's a lot that annoys me too. 

FIL isn't married to MIL anymore. DH and he have a very rough past. FIL cheated on MIL when dH was 9 and he never ever forgave or forgot it. FIL is a very eccentric person. He beats to his own drum and is an odd one lol. 

My SIL (DHs sister) and I are pretty close. The whole children topic sometimes can be a bit rocky because she can't have her own children. But she loves her  nieces and seems genuinely happy for us about #3. Her husband is great and the two of them really get involved with the girls. They will be the girls legal guardians should anything happen, God forbid. 

My oldest brothers now ex wife and I had a decent friendship. But she cheated on my brother with the local HS softball coach and well the entire family damns her to hell. 

My other brothers wife is okay. She's sort of in my brothers ear a lot and it has hurt his relationship with out mom in the past. But they are back on track. She never really made an effort to are about getting to know my kids and her lack of communication even with me trying has hurt my relationship with my nieces and nephew. They have no clue who I am. It's sad. 

mrs_fogue

Oh the ILs.  I swear that my husband didn't come from his family. LOL!  I love my ILs and we get along, they are just different than what I am used to/grew up around.  I'd say my ILs parenting approach was to be their children's friends and that definitely led down some rough roads.  I don't really agree with how they handle certain situations that have come up with his siblings in the 8 years we have been together, but eh it's not my place.  Due to some unfortunate decisions on MILs part during my pregnancy with DD (which I'll spare you from, lets just say mid-life crisis), DH is not comfortable with having our children stay with them.   Therefore, they usually come to our house for weekends. 

I think the biggest issue I have is how sporadic they are.   I'm complete opposite and like to plan for having guests over.  They are usually the cause for my anxiety and arguments with DH when they are all the sudden coming over and it's Friday afternoon and I have to cancel all of my plans for the weekend and then right before they are supposed to get there they call and say they aren't coming.  This is a normal occurrence around our parts.  All in all, I love them and we get along enough. 

jessafishy

My love-tits are in support.

Also I realized I forgot about my siblings' significant others. None of them are married yet.

Sister 1 - Has a baby and is engaged. DH and I liked her fiance at first but he is very very immature and selfish. He thinks he should get to go out and drink and gamble with his buddies every weekend.

Sister 2 - Is gay and is in a still fairly new relationship. I like her girlfriend a lot but I worry about how fast they have been moving.

Baby Brother - Has his first pretty serious girlfriend and she is a sweetheart.

bluejeanbabi05

Ooo! I am about to have my first in law on my side! My brother gets married Memorial Day weekend. I'm a bridesmaid  

Confession: I like her more than I like my brother. Kidding, mostly, I love him he's a great guy. But seriously he better not f it up with her. 

bluejeanbabi05

@mrs_fogue Please don't spare us..

mrs_fogue

bluejeanbabi05 said:

@mrs_fogue Please don't spare us..

It's nothing huge/I don't know all the details.  She just up and disappeared for a few days.  They were planning to come down for the weekend one week and never came.  Never called us.  For about a year she would be home for a week or so and then just not come home for a few nights, not tell anyone where she was.  Her friends changed, she started smoking and drinking.  Supposedly ran around with another man.  All while DH's poor dad slept on our couch.  FIL never addressed it just let it be and chilled at our house.  I felt so terrible when we had to tell him he needed to go home because I was about to give birth and couldn't handle him and all that goes with a newborn at home.  He went back home and things finally calmed down, MIL finally came back around.  But the relationship between us and her is just different now.  I think DH has a lot of resentment but has never let it out.  So it's always just the elephant in the room. 

bluejeanbabi05

Oh wow @mrs_fogue. It's so strange to think of our parents as mistake making people sometimes. Someone up above mentioned their DH having a hard time forgiving his father for cheating. My DH has the same issue. His parents went though two separations, one when he was around 13 and the final when he was 20. His mother was devastated- they were together seriously since 5th grade. He's forgiven his father for the most part but he struggles with his stepmom, since she's the one his dad finally left for. It's hard.

 

carries2018

oh my sister's husbands. meh i am not head over heels for either. but i am not married to them haha.

sister 1 - she has always jumped from guy to guy. i am not totally sold she even truly loves her H. she was divorced and just wanted to be married i think. he is a good guy, def has his flaws. but at the end of the day, i dont think "love" was ever really either of their priority, they more so wanted someone. and if it works for them whatevs. but his conversation skills are so terrible and i hate when i get stuck talking to him haha.

sister 2 - her H is selfish, which is a direct result of his upbringing. i will give him he acknowledges his flaws. he is a good guy, but he makes my sister's life a lot harder than it needs to be because of his "ways"...but my sister is also not the easiest person and he "handles" her well. opposite of other BIL, he is so interesting to talk to. we have a lot of different view, and we can get lost in a healthy debate for hours.

bluejeanbabi05

Ok I promise I tried to restrain myself, but I'm so excited about this wedding (in less than 2 months!) that I can't help myself from AWing my brother and future SIL.

Little bro is insanely smart, he's a CPA now and has such a bright future. Interned and worked for Ernst and Young for awhile until he accepted another offer. He is also very "black and white" a little close-minded, and has always had very little patience for "silly" girls who are in any way high-maintenance or unintelligent. Not the type to jump from girl to girl.  

He met SIL in college, and finally met his match. She's a dentist now, and as smart or smarter than him. Also super sweet, doesn't take shit from him, and also is equally comfortable going out with zero makeup and sweats on as she is getting dolled up and going dancing. AND SHE WAS HIS FIRST! Haha I wormed that out of her last year and love it.

Quick proposal story and I'm done, lol. Bro was working in Chicago two years ago and SIL was still finishing up dental school in MI. During an October college football game, he secretly took the train to Ann Arbor. After the game, SIL's friend told her she wanted to walk home through the law school yard (It's beautiful). Bro was there, dressed up in suit and tie, and friend got the whole thing on camera. All the feelz. Here's a pic and sorry if its huge:

carries2018

@bluejeanbabi05 well that is adorable.

shan24

SO is an only child and he never knew his dad, so it's just MIL. We get along fine, but she and SO aren't really close, so I don't know her all that well. She also has a lot of mental health issues that make things difficult. I think SO resents her a lot for some of the choices she has made. I kinda wish he had a bigger family. Both of my parents were 1 of 4, so I have lots of cousins. DS and the new baby will only have 3 - and we don't get to see my step niece's very often :-(

riverrainez

My ILs are great. It helps that they live across the country, haha. They come out to visit for 3-4 days at a time a few times a year and we go visit them for a week or so at least once a year. But honestly I'm lucky, I totally trust them with DS, we've left him overnight with them and he loves them even though he doesn't see them as much as he sees my family. And sure, when they visit I get irritated at minor things but it's the same for any houseguest.

Same story with SIL (DH's sister) and her family. We don't see them often but I enjoy being around them when we do. They have three boys.

Boobopgirl

My mother in and father in law are great.  In fact, I was in the hospital for 10 days in November and they had our girls so DH could work and they did everything almost exactly as we would have done.  There was no retraining or resetting of schedules necessary which was AMAZING.  If I have one complaint its that they sometimes overstay their welcome when they visit us.

Dhs brother has cerebral palsy and because of that, he still lives at home and was pretty babied.  I get aggravated with him sometimes because he's perfectly capable but acts like he's not.

My brother's (ex?) Wife is a piece of work.  I'm not sure if their divorce is final yet or not.  She was upset with my brother and got him arrested for harassment for trying to come see his son at the house he was still paying for at the time and was still his legal residence.  So she's not my favorite person...

joforyoga

 My in-laws are amazing. Incredibly nice people with big hearts. However they live 2 1/2 hours away from us in the same town as my husband's brother and his wife and kids.  That wasn't much of an issue before we had kids because it was very easy for my husband and I to just pick up and head up there for the weekend and see them all. That was easy because they're older and my brother-in-law had new little babies at the time. However, now my husband has a different job and works almost 7 days a week  and we have a one-year-old. It is really no easier for us to go up and visit them then it is for them to come down and see us. It's kind of an unspoken struggle where their passive aggressively making us feel guilty because they don't see us and our son as much as they see my brother-in-law and his family ( who live ten minutes away from them). I'm constantly battling between the fact that they're wonderful people and my husband and I should try make sure he has some weekends off work and put in an effort to go visit them more or just saying hey, this is our life right now, we're super busy and we just can't see you as often right now. Anyway that's my ramble For today:)

migdala

Mine are batshit insane.  First meeting with my FIL, he tells me everyone can astral project if they try hard enough -- that is the level of crazy I'm talking about here.  They penny-pinch to an extreme even though they have plenty of money, and they hoard food so half of the piles in their house are of expired cereals and muffins and other things they take from hotel breakfast bars that they crash every Sunday just for fun.  And they're so mean to their kids -- but not to me, because they're scared I'll make DH cut off contact.  I really don't know how DH turned out so patient and generous and kind after growing up in that house.  Keeps things interesting I guess!

on_the_move

My in-laws are pretty great.  FIL and MIL feel almost like a second set of parents because I've known them since I was 16.  They have some quirks and things we don't see eye to eye on, but for the most part they are wonderful people.  Sometimes I enjoy being with them more than my own parents.  One of my sisters-in-law (there are 3) was my Maid of Honor and would probably be who I considered my best friend.  The oldest SIL is getting married this fall and I am so SO happy for her.  My oldest two kids are going to be her ring bearer and flower girl.  The other SIL has made some bad choices and no one really likes the guy she has been with because he is a lying sleaze bag, but we still try to be kind to them.  My BIL is a teenager with some real mental issues, but he is getting better and more easy to be around. 

As for my family one of my brothers is married to a pretty loud mouthed controlling girl.  DH has often said how there is no way he would put up with the stuff my brother does, but I guess different strokes for different folks.  She has an opinion on EVERYTHING!  When they were still engaged (with no kids) she gave me so much parenting "advice" on the two kids I had at the time.  I think if we lived close to them she would bother me a lot, but since they are across the country it is easier to let her roll off my back.  My other brother is getting pretty serious with a girl my parents describe as sweet and smart, but I haven't met her yet (again halfway across the country.)  I take my parents info with a grain of salt because they praised high heaven about SIL before my brother married her and didn't really see a bunch of the warning signs until too late.  Now they admit that she can be kind of nasty and controlling.

ksf13

.

nbcarlson

My in-laws are better now than they used to be. DH and I started dating when we were 15 and his family was just all transitioning to new things and it was just a mess. DH and I and his brother and their SOs all started dating within one year of each other but because we are much younger they always left me out of everything even if it was super petty like a picture. We had been together for 6 years when we got married and it was all the same issues even then. They made our wedding all about them and pretty much ruined the time leading up to our wedding by causing so many issues. They've all mellowed out a lot though and we have a much easier time with them. 

I really only have an issue with DHs brother and his wife. They use DHs mom for daycare but don't compensate her and treat her like crap all the time. It's constantly them being mean to her, her telling them to find new child care, them apologizing and kissing her ass, then it starts over. And his brother always thinks he is better than everyone and constantly posts on FB about lazy people taking assistance from the gov blah blah when we know for a fact that him and his kids are on state insurance, his wife is on WIC, and just recently they were on food stamps for several months because they moved states and didn't work for an entire summer. 

That was really more of a rant haha. 

mrs_fogue

Knottie1447173547 said:

 My in-laws are amazing. Incredibly nice people with big hearts. However they live 2 1/2 hours away from us in the same town as my husband's brother and his wife and kids.  That wasn't much of an issue before we had kids because it was very easy for my husband and I to just pick up and head up there for the weekend and see them all. That was easy because they're older and my brother-in-law had new little babies at the time. However, now my husband has a different job and works almost 7 days a week  and we have a one-year-old. It is really no easier for us to go up and visit them then it is for them to come down and see us. It's kind of an unspoken struggle where their passive aggressively making us feel guilty because they don't see us and our son as much as they see my brother-in-law and his family ( who live ten minutes away from them). I'm constantly battling between the fact that they're wonderful people and my husband and I should try make sure he has some weekends off work and put in an effort to go visit them more or just saying hey, this is our life right now, we're super busy and we just can't see you as often right now. Anyway that's my ramble For today:)

Oh I have this same struggle with my whole side of the family.  All my siblings live in my home town except us.  We are always expected to be the ones to go visit yet no one ever wants to come to us.  It's exhausting. 

beezeee

My in-laws are amazing. Very similar to my parents, which is a good thing. MIL had overbearing parents, so she is far from the stereotypical overly involved and opinionated MIL. She would never interfere with our parenting or question us. They are very supportive. My only complaint is that FIL is a little obsessed with DD, his only grandchild. He has a tattoo dedicated to her. It's very sweet, but can be annoying in an eye roll inducing sort of way. They are in town, while my parents are out of state, so it's really helpful that they're so great.

DH and his sister have a love-hate relationship, as they're both very opinionated, but I really like her and we get along well. I'm much closer with her than I am with my own siblings (due to location and personality).

my brother's wife is crazy. She's the reason that I don't really have much of a relationship with him anymore. Just very very controlling, self-centered, and crazy. Lol. Definitely a sanctimommy.

Myelhsa

My FIL and MIL are both deceased, but they were amazing! FIL passed suddenly in 2008 (my DH was deployed, it was awful) and my MIL passed even more suddenly in 2015, just a few days after Christmas.

Rant incoming in 3, 2, 1....

Their untimely passing makes it REALLY difficult for me to empathize with people who nit-pick at their in-laws. Now, if you have really shitty in-laws, that's not what I'm taking about. But it makes my blood boil when I see people say things like, "MIL gave DD a cookie after I specifically told her not to! Why is she so unbelievably disrespectful?!" I would give anything for my MIL to give my daughter a cookie. Suck it up, teach your kid that grandmas rules and mommies rules are a little different and move on. Or talk to MIL about it like an adult. 

Now if you wanna talk disrespectful in-laws, my husband is your guy. The last time we saw my father he was highly inebriated at my sister's wedding. He started saying some awful things to my mother, so my husband attempted to escort him out and my sperm-donor threw a punch at him! That poor guy!  People who are manipulative, violent, disrespectful, are the people you cut out of your life. Don't cut out your in-laws because they bend the rules from time to time, they are just trying to create a different sort of special bond with your babies.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying that anyone here has done that, but there always tends to be one in every bunch and I'm just putting it out there now.

yasandson

I LOVE how you mamaz all shared (good or bad)! I didnt mean to wait til I saw all your posts to add mine i swear lol, its my bday today and since H took the day off, i had to wait til he was busy with something other than me to be able to get to you ladies.
I'll try not to indulge in a novel here! 
Well, H has two sisters, one 2 yrs older the other one 2 yrs younger. I love them both! The oldest has been my hairdresser ever since I started dating her brother, married 2 lovely kids (and a lazy husband... ugh!). The youngest has been my only good friend - besides H - ever since I started dating H. So mature i dont even feel the age difference. She has just gone through divorce and mc, with very few chances of having another Drs say, but is still very happy for H and I about our first. 

The day I started dating H was the day we moved in together, and though both SILs knew, it was kept a secret from their parents.... Because arabs(muslims) are forbidden to live with someone(opposite sex) unless they're married. We have been married for almost 2 yrs and we still cant say we ve been together for 5 lol. 

Anyways... So before we made it official, they had known me as Mina and Louiza's friend, not as H's woman. Fun story they're the ones who told H he should think about marrying me. "your sisters friend Layla is ssso nice" lol. And thats exactly how I think of them : just sssso nice! 
Ill go ahead and say this, although im keeping this for next weeks discussion, my parents live on another continent, but I dont feel it thanks to my in laws. I feel I have a real family here, one that loves me genuinely. They live two streets down but never impose. We go visit them once every week, they have got a mutli generation house so even SILs and kids live there. 
MIL has been a daycare (and inhome) owner for more than a decade now and so she thinks she all care professionals (pediatrician, nutritionist, psychologue etc... Lol) and that can sometimes be a little annoying... But id be ungrateful if I said she doesnt give the best advices lol. I know she'll be a little overwhelming when ill give birth to her grandchild but... I know cant have it all!
 
As for my BIL (my sisters husband) hes the worst piece of ish ive ever encountered. To me, he is a mix of my ex husband, who did use me to get his citizenship,  and of my H's ex wife who was manipulative and hysterical. Forbids my sister from working, wants her to have a baby every 2 yrs, doesnt go out with her, hes always out, sweet talks other women on FB and wont disclose any of his passwords. All he does is smoke moroccan hashish.(i gotta add this:my sister came to give birth in Montreal last july to her 2nd. She came with her DD. Welcomed them with open arms, so did H. I dont work so i had company and i could take care of her meanwhile. But the plan was that her H would come two weeks later and get themselves an appartement so that he can take care of my sister while pregnant. He came in december, two weeks before she gave birth. So H and I had to do HIS job, financially and morally, while he was chilling in morocco smoking and going out.... He even came with moroccan hashish plugged down his butt so that he could still enjoy it here (smoking inside a small apartment with a newborn and a 2yrs old))
 I cant talk to my sister because of him. She doesnt have any self esteem anymore and though ive tried helping i end up being blamed (her husband manipulates her into thinking i do not want whats best for her just because i conviced my sister to go back morocco when i noticed he was starting to be interested in staying, and getting his citizenship all of a sudden)... So i just cant deal with either of them. 

Waw, (sorry for the lengthy post!!!)   but this felt effin good to write down (the BIL part, that is) lol. I dont really get to express how that situation made me (and H, whos been wonderful all through those 6 months) feel. 

acnd08

My DH still has both parents, 1 brother, 3 sisters, 1 sister-in-law, 3 brothers-in-law, and 12 nieces/nephews. His Paternal Grandmother is still living as well. MIL is Irish and has a bazillion family members on her side. FIL is Italian and has the same bazillion on his side. 

I'm an only child. Grew up with just my parents. I have cousins, aunts, and uncles, but my folks are very low-key. Nobody gets in one another's business in my family. Never has. 

The first time I met my in laws, they scared the hell out of me. They are loud, intense, and know everything about each other. Somehow they know things before the person it is happening to even knows. 11 years later, I can honestly say I love these people so very much. They have accepted me as one of their own and been there for me through incredibly difficult times and I am very thankful. 

With all that said - DH is from Philly (his parents, Grandmother, and brother's family live there) and the rest of his siblings are spread around from New York to Massachusetts to Mississippi. We are in Tennessee. Distance may be what keeps us all happy with one another, who knows!  

baker1jm2

Mine are great..we get along really well.  My mil tends to be a little self centered sometimes and likes to plan things for us without even asking which makes me crazy. She's also lazy which bothers me bc my hubby and I are the opposite. When I had DD she literally sat on my couch holding my 4 day old baby while I cooked and cleaned.  I've learned I need to speak up and not be so nice and passive which has made things a lot better. With this baby I'm going to be straight up with her and let her know she's welcome to visit if she wants to help but she's not sitting on my couch all day holding my newborn 

bluejeanbabi05

@baker1jm2 This may go more under the heading of FTM question, but why is that a bad thing? Isn't it helpful to have someone holding the baby while you actually get stuff done? Is it that she never offered to help and was over all the time?

jessafishy

@bluejeanbabi05 Whoever wants to be "helping you" should be the one cooking or cleaning, honestly. New moms should just be able to rest, unless they WANT a break from the baby to go do something.

acnd08

@carries2018 Your post struck a nerve with me. My Dad's Mother was the same way between myself and my 3 cousins. My Dad's brother was her golden child, so naturally, his kids were her pride and joy. When I was little, I didn't notice it, but when I got older I saw what she did and made my own opinion of her. Was her loss and will be your inlaws also!

@bluejeanbabi05 Well that's just freaking adorable! Congrats to your brother and his fiancee! 

dajocl

Oh how I have been waiting for an in-law thread, even thought about starting it myself. Let me just say, my husband claims he was adopted... although he ver obviously was not. I apologize for the following novel.

My FIL is great, he's just a normal easy going guy for the most part. He was in the military and its obvious in his personality, everything must be orderly and he is predictable but oh-so-easy to get along with. We end up spending a lot of time with him at our house because he is avoiding his own house. 

My husbands brothers are of an interesting variety... they are 38 and 34 and still living at home mooching off mom and dad. The 34 year old has no job and honestly no friends, and thats no exaggeration. The 38 year old has a job but has no desire to move out or do anything productive, he just has no drive. 

My MIL is the one that really takes the cake. She has no desire to help either one of her boys move on with their lives and is perfectly content taking care of them (She and FIL constantly battle about this). Like always making dinner for them and cleaning up after them. The part that really makes it over the top is MIL and FIL are not in good health, at least once a year they are in the hospital for weeks at a time and money is tight for them. Like really tight, and here she is feeding the adult children whom don't pay rent or contribute around the house. She tries to run our lives and tell us what to do too, so thats interesting because my husband has no tolerance for that. She feels very entitled to time with our toddler and thinks that he belongs to her, i.e. she constantly calls him, "my baby" in front of me when I've asked her not to. Not to mention when he was in the NICU, she tried to go in when she had a cold and the nurse literally kicked her out... its a long story but so ridiculous. 

Two of my brothers are married, one SIL is not my favorite, but she is not anybody's favorite, so its not just me. The other one is sweet as can be but lives across the country so other than Facebook we don't see each other often. 

And thats it, all my drama, thanks for reading. 

carries2018

that is sad @acnd08 i am sorry that is really hurtful. it is their loss, but it kills me at the same time that it affects our kids. and it isn't even about the gimme gimme help! the amount of ish they do for SIL people at their age shouldnt be doing, and i worry it is aging them...fast. i dunno, FIL and MIL are so selfless. i wish they would wake up and see what they are doing and spread their time, and take time for themselves. but i need to stop having a pity party and starting coming up with a plan on how to parent through it.

nbcarlson

dajocl said:

She feels very entitled to time with our toddler and thinks that he belongs to her, i.e. she constantly calls him, "my baby" in front of me when I've asked her not to. 

Ugh my MIL does that as well. She said "my baby" with DS and and I immediately corrected her and she said "well it's our baby." I love her but it drives me absolutely crazy and she did it again when she found out I was pg again with this one, I have a lot of food aversions this time and she said "make sure you're taking care of our baby" as if she cares more about the well being of my child than I do. 

acnd08

@carries2018 I better understand what you are saying now! I had to go back and reread your first post. Forgive me! I can definitely see the worry you have for them with your SIL literally using them to their limit. SIL is the one that needs it laid out for her, but she has your inlaws brainwashed, so there is no easy way there. So sorry your kids are feeling the brunt of it. It isn't fair at all. 

My Grandmother was just not a nice person. Totally didn't mean to compare her to your inlaws. For example, she traveled 4 hours to see my cousin graduate from Optometry school, yet couldn't bring herself to get in a car and come 2 hours for my graduation the same year. If my DH could travel 9hr from New Orleans, where he was in school, to make it to my graduation then that old bat could have caught a ride with the 20 other family members coming to make it. Nope. Was just too much. /soapbox

carries2018

oh i didnt think you were comparing them negatively @acnd08. good heart or not, it is still hurtful to feel second best...or like 2023985th best especially when you see the love they are capable of. there are worse things in the world, but it is still a hard thing figure out how to explain to children.

dajocl

@nbcarlson Oh my, I'm pretty sure food aversions shouldn't be the end of the world to her. Hah. I think that sums up the part that really gets me, them thinking they care more than we do. I get that it's their grandchild, and we want them to care about their grandchildren... but you're still not the parent. 

@carries2018 I think you said it right for all of us, that we have to stop having a pity party and figure out how to parent through it. When I finally gave myself that freedom, it was amazing. There's no changing how someone else behaves but our reaction to it and how we parent through all of it is what should be most important. 

Oh and I forgot my fave MIL story. So my wonderful mother passed away 8 years ago and DH and I got married 5 years ago. I kid you not, 3 days before my wedding my MIL was crying on MY shoulder because she realized my mom wasn't going to be there to see me get married. Um... what?!!

yasandson

dajocl said:

Oh and I forgot my fave MIL story. So my wonderful mother passed away 8 years ago and DH and I got married 5 years ago. I kid you not, 3 days before my wedding my MIL was crying on MY shoulder because she realized my mom wasn't going to be there to see me get married. Um... what?!!

Loooolll but that is sssoo cute!!! (so sorry for your loss) ❤️

mommac2017

I loved my ILs like crazy until DS was born. My MIL became overbearing, jealous, and just annoying. She made sure to keep track of how many times my parents saw him compared to her. It was ridiculous how she acted. Like a child. Anyways, my relationship with her changed DRASTICALLY after he was born. He is now almost 2 and our relationship has improved but not gotten back quite the way it used to be. My relationship with my FIL and DH's siblings has always been great. I have no problems with any of them. They're wonderful