October 2017 Moms

Let's Talk Irrational (or rational) Fears

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Re: Let's Talk Irrational (or rational) Fears

  • @cooaladolll, I forgot about my gestational diabetes fear!!! I was borderline with DS so I'm super nervous this time. I always gain a lot in first trimester (14lbs) so I'm trying really hard to watch myself now hat I'm in second trimester!
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  • You know that thing they say where you sleep when the baby does? Well I don't nap. I never have as a teen or an adult. Once I stopped napping as a toddler I never napped again. I know what you all are thinking: motherhood will exhaust me. I'm scared it won't and I won't sleep enough at night with the baby waking up every few hours and I won't nap during the day. I'll just be an incoherent exhausted mess.

    Another fear is if this baby is a girl. My husband does not want a girl. Said he's lived with just women his whole life (his sister and mom) and he wants a boy. I've told him to change his mindset on this because neither of us choose what this baby will be and what he wants won't make a difference. I hate to think this way about my husband but I'm scared he won't love a daughter as much as a son or will even resent her for not being a boy.
    Me: 29  DH: 32                                                                                          
    Married 9/27/2014
    TTC Since 1/1/2017
    BFP: 2/6/2017
    Due Date: 10/13/17
    pangur_ban_by_sequana-d31ja7y
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  • Oh man, so many great fears in this thread! It makes me feel better knowing that I'm not the only one that thinks of these things.  :D I have a huge fear of accidentally suffocating baby while I sleep. I don't plan to co-sleep because of this, and it has always freaked me out since I was younger. My mom said that I may change my mind once she is born, but I just don't know. I also am scared of our dogs becoming territorial. They are really well balanced and healthy/socialized dogs and cats, but it just scares me. I think I watch too much Dog Whisperer or something.
    Me: 31 DH:35
    TTC #1: March 2011 
    Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
    dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids 
    2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy
    6 rounds of clomid
    5 rounds of iui
    IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide
    ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS
    4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls
    FET 1/10/2017  
    Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017
    FET 2/2
    BFP 2/7/17 <3 Beta#1: 594!!! Beta#2 1630!!!
    Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
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  • canonmom413canonmom413 member
    edited April 2017
    @ChocolateIsLife I didn't co sleep on purpose. Meaning, I never purposely put the baby in our bed to sleep when we slept etc. But I did accidental co-sleep often. In that, I mean since I breastfed, I would side lay down for a feeding so we can dream feed ( do feeding in the dark or minimal lighting without either of us actually waking up fully) and we would both just fall asleep. The first time I was actually terrified.  But I am a very aware sleeper now. Like I knew she was right there. I never pulled the blankets up over my hips. We took precautions. Once I knew she was done eating and full asleep, if transfer her back to her pack n play or crib. When she was in her own room I'd dream feed on the floor so we didn't fall asleep in the chair and risk dropping etc. 

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    Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"

  • @mommac2017 me too! Gained 12 lbs and not quite fully to second tri yet. I'm hoping that adding a daily walk, now that the weather's getting nicer, and eating more salads, now that my body is letting me, might help slow down that gain. Ugh! And stepping away from all the darn sugary things!
    Me: 41 / Fiance: 35 +  One DS, one dog & two kitties...
    First BFP: 1/17/16 = EDD 9/21/16 (MMC)
    Second BFP: 6/24/16 (CP)
    Third BFP: 2/7/17 = EDD 10/20/17 🌈 *** BORN 10/23 *** 🌈
    Fourth BFP : 2/5/19 = EDD 10/14/19
         BabyGaga
  • @cooaladolll, sounds like we have similar goals. Now if only those darn sugary things would stop tasting so good!!!!!!!
  • @canonmom413 ah that is great that your body adapted to being more aware. I have never heard of dream sleeping but will definitely look more into that. It is so reassuring to read your experience, so thank you for sharing! 
    Me: 31 DH:35
    TTC #1: March 2011 
    Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
    dx: Endometriosis and Fibroids 
    2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy
    6 rounds of clomid
    5 rounds of iui
    IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide
    ER 12/1/2016:Retrieved 22 eggs 12 fertilized, developed moderate OHSS
    4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls
    FET 1/10/2017  
    Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017
    FET 2/2
    BFP 2/7/17 <3 Beta#1: 594!!! Beta#2 1630!!!
    Having a girl! EDD 10/21/17
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • +1 for not napping. i used to time to pump, clean, try to feel like a normal person. i will say i stayed in bed later. but you will work out something that is right for you, and maybe that means developing a need for a nap haha.
                                      DD1 - 10/11/13                 DD2 - 5/07/15

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  • On the not-napping train: DS did NOT nap longer than 10-15 minutes as a newborn. I would have slept, but he didn't sleep so I couldn't.

    It sucked.
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  • I think I am going to understand my best friend A LOT better once this little one arrives. When her daughter was born, she was literally a zombie, but swore she could not sleep. The baby would go to sleep and I would think just go to sleep!!!  "I'm so exhausted that I can't sleep. I try to close my eyes and I cannot sleep." I thought that was the craziest stuff I had ever heard! Never in all my 31 years have I been unable to nap. You'd think I have narcolepsy most days. I'm hoping I never understand her, but this nap conversation got me thinking, haha. 
    Me: 31 DH: 35
    Married since 05.16.2009
    Expecting #1: 10.10.2017

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  • For all the moms on this thread who are fearful of PPD, it might be helpful to talk yo your OB about it NOW so you know what they can/will do about it and what symptoms you need to worry about.  Also it's great to have your SO be in on these conversations so they can help too.  I knew going into pregnancy that I was high risk for PPD because of my history of depression/PTSD from childhood abuse and having those conversations helped us have a plan in place when it happened and made me feel a lot safer talking to my Dr about it (always easier to start the convo when you're not an emotional wreck).

    My only real fear with this baby is because I intend to labor at the birth center.  If anything goes wrong with me or the baby after the birth, the one having the issue would have to be transferred to the hospital.  I don't want to have to he transferred without my baby or have the baby go without me.
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  • @feeislove I never thought about the napping thing. I don't take naps either! Oh no.. hopefully the exhaustion will just get the best of us. 
  • @feeislove I didn't nap either. Which is why we dream fed. I was so so tired. But you'd be shocked at how during the day you just keep going. You don't even think about it really. Kind of zombie mode.

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    Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"

  • I never napped until I had my 2nd baby. Then I was so worn out that I would put the baby to bed and put a movie on for the older one and nap with her next to me. That stopped after the newborn phase I'm pretty sure. 
    This pregnancy has me exhausted though and lately I nap when my baby naps and the older 2 are at school. I love naps now. 
    My irrational fear is taking a bump picture. I had a miscarriage between baby 2 and 3 and it happened right after I took my first ever bump picture. I had never taken one before and i haven't since. I know it's totally irrational and the picture isn't what caused the mc but just in case my mind won't let me. 
    Also have 99.9% of other fears that have been discussed. Parenting is hard business and a lot more emotional than I ever anticipated. 
  • emwj10187 said:
    my irrational fear is that I won't be a good mother & that I won't really like my kid. I tend to not really like kids, although God knows why, kids seem to like me. 

    I have noticed that I'm more tolerant of kids lately (since being pregnant) but for the most part i find little kids to be annoying. Especially from like the 5-10yrs old range. What if i don't like my kids?? :|

    I'm also really afraid of Postpartum Depression. Its a very real thing, and I'm terrified I'll be one it affects.  
    I generally didn't care for kids before having my own. Now I still don't like most kids, but I love mine like nothing else in this world. When a new baby is around people are always wondering why I don't want to hold it. I just don't have that pull like some do. 

    I'm OCD so I have all the irrational fears. I have learned over the years to tune the most crazy out. I do worry that my MIL will somehow find out I'm in labor and show up at the hospital. 

    Also does anyone else hate the auto correct on bump mobile?! It is always changing my words to absolutely ridiculous things. Like it just changed "things" to "thing so". Wth? 
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d6b5b" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  • My biggest fear is that I will have a miscarriage. I miscarried back in december and it has taken us so very long to get pregnant I am always afraid for this baby I feel like I will feel that way forever at this point. Sometimes I wish I could have ultrasounds daily or something to reassure me that baby is alive and well I feel like I am always living in fear of something happening. 
  • @Amesie13, PGAL brain is horrible. I'm 14w4d and all I can think is that I'm scared I'm going to lose this baby. I had a missed miscarriage in the Fall. It is a horrible thing to go through. I also wish I could have an appointment every day just to check on this LO. Hugs momma!
  • My fear is LO is not doing okay. At NT scan LO was very very mellow - and everyone kept saying their scans had babies flipping and swimming and moving all around. Tech had to have me roll over and she tapped on my belly for a long time to get it to move or respond with little success. She couldn't get a good look at neck measurements. I know we heard the heart beat but still worried something is wrong. 

    And since im already a nervous wreck we opted to skip testing. It's been haunting me ever since. 
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  • @PizzaMonster3 I wouldn't worry too much about that. At very first mine was jumping around, but then appeared to go to sleep. She had me rolling on all sides and was literally jabbing me with the ultrasound wand trying to get it to move. I'm surprised I'm not bruised. Your LO was probably just trying to snooze :)

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  • @PizzaMonster3 I wouldn't worry either. One of my best friend's LO was like that her first pregnancy. He moved like the minimal amount possible, haha. He is the most chill little guy even now at 7 years old. Her second baby was a different story, and she even said if she'd been pregnant with her daughter before her son, she would have been convinced something was terribly wrong the entire pregnancy. I think they have their little personalities from minute one! 
    Me: 31 DH: 35
    Married since 05.16.2009
    Expecting #1: 10.10.2017

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  • edited April 2017
    @PizzaMonster3 I had an ulstrasound on Thursday and my baby also didn't move around at all! I was a bit concerned after because of everyone talking about how their babies were moving all around. But I guess I calmed myself just in the hope that maybe we will just have a super chill baby!! We heard the HB so baby is definitely still alive..

    Oh and we are also skipping testing. I have too much anxiety to add more on top of it all.
  • @dumbledoredies @acnd08 @purplestars-2
    thank you for the reassurance <3
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  • @buttercream_frosting sending good vibes your way! You've got something awesome to look forward to - seeing babe wiggle and wave <3 ask for extra pictures!!
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  • @buttercream_frosting I'm the same way! I got tomorrow for an ultrasound, not sure if they will consider it a NT scan, but im
    nervous. I'll be 34 in a couple weeks and I also had a friend who delivered a baby with Trisomy 18 last year. good luck!!!
  • @curlyq423  Hand holding you through this! Oh my goodness, your poor friend. Did her baby live? 

    **June Siggy Challenge: You Had ONE Job!**

    LO#2 EDD October 18th 


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  • @buttercream_frosting Thank you! Is your scan today? I think it's morning where you are? If so, I'll be holding your hand as well! Her son lived for 10 days. 
  • @buttercream_frosting Good luck! Let me know how it goes!
  • @buttercream_frosting I really wanted to wait up until your appointment at your 3pm my midnight but I'm  
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  • @buttercream_frosting Yay! Just saw your US post, how adorable! Thank you!
  • @buttercream_frosting yay congrats on a fantastic NT scan and such a beautiful little baby!



  • I'll be 13w2d at my first ultrasound on Monday, so I'm really worried that I'm going to find out I've lost it, or that it was never really there. 

    I guess it's irrational because I've had no cramps or spotting, or any indication that something might be wrong, but I've spent too much time on the internet, and it seems like everyone has had an ultrasound around the 6-8 week mark and saw the heartbeat. I guess just because I haven't seen it, I'm having a hard time believing it's there.

    SO is also irrationally fearful that the baby will have some kind of developmental disorder or disability. I guess we're able to diagnose these more accurately now, but the result of that is that it seems like everyone knows someone who's had a child with these differences. Makes it feel like more of a risk I guess.
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  • @daisieblue I was the same way! I didn't have my first ultrasound til 12 weeks and I was so terrified they were going to look and see I had miscarried or baby stopped growing. Didn't help that all the nurses in the office kept making comments like "you don't even look pregnant." I think they were trying to be kind but mixed with all my hormones I was a mess, they couldn't do that ultrasound fast enough. I'll be thinking of you Monday, and hope for a great appointment for you! 
  • @flyingfall thanks :smile: I'm glad yours went well. It is silly because even if I had seen the heartbeat, the risk of having lost it is pretty much the same... I keep trying to logic myself out of being nervous but it's not working so well.
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  • @buttercream_frosting thanks for holding my hand today, it went well!
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