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October 2017 Moms
canonmom413
member
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
Let's Talk Irrational (or rational) Fears
canonmom413
member
Started this for selfish reasons but feel it was a good outlet for anyone to talk about their fears in pregnancy, motherhood, or just in general. Whether they be true validated fears, or fears that should be deemed irrational, let's support one another and talk each other down 
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Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
Re: Let's Talk Irrational (or rational) Fears
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
One positive thing about a fall baby, is that by the time they can sit up, it'll be spring. I'm going to focus on that and being able to put a blanket in the backyard so DS can play with his sand table or other toys, and me and baby can hang out on the blanket and play with his/her toys.
I'm a FTM so I don't really have any advice or thoughts for you. Hopefully a STM who has given birth in the fall can give some insight because I'm very curious what it's like having a newborn around that time of the year. I'm worried that we are going to get so sick and tired of being house ridden for 6 months with a baby lol. Also I'm curios how easy/difficult it is hauling a baby around in the freezing cold.
As for my irrational (RATIONAL!!!!) fears- and I'll just put a few because Lord knows I have about 5,000- my sister is getting married at the end of September and I am her maid of honor and I am soooooooo worried about going into labor early and missing her wedding. I HAVE to be there.
My other irritations fears involve my cats. They have been my loves for the past 4 years and I'm so worried that they will be forgotten once the
So once the baby comes. I'm also worried about them suffocating the baby! I mean I don't think they will but what if?! Also worried that once the baby gets older it will open the door and the cats (they are indoor) will get out and I'll never see them again. Ugggghhhhhhhhhh. And that's so far off i dont even know why I'm worrying about it now
As for your cats, I get it! I have a bunny who sort of got put on the sidelines when we got our cat. He gets taken care of an loving but no where near as much. Mainly because we have to actually go over to the cage etc. now with my cat I don't fear as much because she's very assertive and will come to us for attention. She is like my baby right now, so I get it! Just make a conscious effort to set time aside just for kitty time. You'll love surprised that it's easier to get into a routine and groove sooner rather than later !
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
I have noticed that I'm more tolerant of kids lately (since being pregnant) but for the most part i find little kids to be annoying. Especially from like the 5-10yrs old range. What if i don't like my kids??
I'm also really afraid of Postpartum Depression. Its a very real thing, and I'm terrified I'll be one it affects.
You've made me feel better about my kitties. I know that no matter what they will be fine. They live in such a loving home and even if they aren't played with as much for the first few months of babies life I know things will get easier once we get into a routine and I can set aside some play time for them. I also don't worry as much because they have each other and can always play with each other if they get bored!
@emwj10187 kids from 5-10 are so annoying lol. I'm sure there are good things about those years and that it's nice that they aren't as needy but I can't stand how they try and constantly push the limits.
And I fear PPD too
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
I know not all cats have the same personality and some might be more reclusive, but our cat is very social and loved being around our baby
I have depression and anxiety as it is, but the winter definitely intensifies it. So I'm right there with you. Living in the Midwest though, the winters can be harsh and the idea of going out with a newborn/infant in that kind of cold and wind is getting me anxious
@dumbledoredies, you will still love your cats! Yes, they may take a back seat for a little while and they might annoy you more, but you will still love them and have time with them. I have two and my relationship with them did change a bit, but they are a big part of our family still. I will say, that once we had my first son, we started to keep them in our finished basement when we go to bed and get them out in the morning. We didn't want to have them waking us during the night and also didn't want to have them climbing in the crib at night. One tip is to put some tin foil in the crib when you set it up. If they jump in, they will hop right back out and it will train them to stay out
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
@dumbledoredies I have the same anxieties about our dogs. There was a thread awhile back with a bunch of ladies saying that once they had their babies, the dogs were a complete afterthought, and that scares me so much because we adore our dogs. I think most of those moms, though, admitted they didn't love dogs in the first place so I let that comfort me. I'm also afraid of my Maltese getting snappy with the baby- she doesn't have the highest patience levels.
And I also fear PPD. My anxiety is bad this pregnancy, esp without being able to take anything for it, and since I plan to BF I won't be able to take anything for a long while.
@canonmom413 you know, thinking about it, I had DD in January and it was brutally cold that winter. I was terrified of getting PPD (I did eventually get PPA but it was after I went back to work during the spring.) I think being winter actually helped me with staying in and keeping her home. I think had it been spring I would have had her out and about everywhere during those first few months. This time I'm more worried about the holidays. We aren't skipping holidays so we will be around so many people.
@dumbledoredies I'm curious how far the wedding is from where you are? I went into preterm labor with my first at 35 weeks (don't worry, she made it to 39 weeks.) My doctors said that it could be from my hour long commute to and from work every day. She told me that she's seen many girls go on long trips and go into labor. I don't mean this to scare you at all. Just maybe look into local hospitals, have a plan if you are going to be traveling somewhere.
@emwj10187 I was just like you, I'm not really a baby/kid person. But once yours is here and in your arms, it's totally different. You will love and obsess over them like all the other crazy moms. As for PPD, it's very real and possible. I think that being concerned about it now is actually a good thing. It means you will watch out for it and hopefully catch it early if it does appear. Fingers crossed though that it doesn't.
My fears irrational or not...that DD will hate the baby and plot evil against it, she's only 2 for the record. I fear not being able to handle a toddler and a baby. I know that baby took up every ounce of time I had the first time. How am I going to squeeze in the time or energy for a lively toddler?
my May baby as soon as i got her home it was blazing hot and i felt bad taking her out. and i was depressed being locked in the house with nice weather. then we would go to the pool or something and there isnt much i could do besides build a shelter to protect her from the sun. by the time that was done i just wanted to go home. then she started crawling in the winter when i had no where to take her.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
also PPD is a thing, and a thing that you can talk yourself into "its normal." stay on top of it, start talking to OB now about it. there are resources and meds to help you through!
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
Personally, I was kind of okay with it. Like others have mentioned, it kept me inside more, kept random people from stopping by and it let me figure out how to adapt to this new baby without the pressure of "ohhhh I want to see the baby!!" It also kept my LO out of daycare during the worst sickness months of the year - HUGE plus.
I think there's pros and cons to having a baby in any month. The important thing is just to make sure you're keeping an eye on your mental/emotional health and talk to someone if you need to. These concerns can be any time of the year.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
october is so busy: 10/4 SIL bday, 10/11 DD1 bday, 10/12 H and my moms bday, 10/18 my sisters bday, 10/23 this baby. i just make a big to do about birthdays and i feel so spread thin already. it is what it is, H says i can't plan everything my way lololzzz. and i plan to have 1 party then do something special on their day. but i just feel like no one will ever feel like they get their *own* time.
i am also scared this one will feel left out, 19 months between the first 2 and then DD2 to this one will be 2.5 years. i know that is stupid, what difference does 1 year make. but if it is a girl i dont want DD1 and DD2 to be bffs and this one feel left out all the time. i am 1 of 3 and i love the dynamic so i dont know why i have so much anxiety about it.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
I have a similiar fear about this little one feeling as close to his/her siblings. My girls are 3 years apart. This little one is 10.5 years from DD1 and 7.5 years from DD2. Many people assure me it may actually bring them closer because the girls will be protective of their "baby" brother or sister.
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
I have an intense fear of suffering from depression/postpartum depression again. With DD I struggled for 7 months before I received help and finally started feeling better around her 1st birthday. It was so lonely, isolating, dark, and scary. It impacted my marriage and turned me into a person I hardly recognized.
I still see my therapist who feels like I may be experiencing some signs of depression right now, but it could also just be these raging hormones. I'm looking into doing everything I can to prevent PPD this time around. (Continued therapy, asking for help from people, encapsulating my placenta, vitamins, etc.) I really don't want to miss out on another 7 months of either or both of my kids life.
*Such a hard topic to talk about.*
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
2. I hate elevators. It's really weird. I've never been stuck and I don't know why, I'm just scared I'm gonna get stuck in one and I have a panic attack every time I have to get in one. Lol also heights, but that's somewhat normal.
I am also worried about PPD.
I really hope I don't go super early with this baby because I selfishly don't want them to be born on my anniversary (October 1st) even though DS was born on DH's birthday. DS was 8 days early so if this baby follows suit we should be in the clear.
I heart YNAB
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“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
- Albus Dumbledore
Oct. '17 June S.C. "You Had 1 Job"
And to those with concerns about a fall baby, I know it's been addressed multiple times already, but having a fall baby is amazing. If you work and take maternity leave you get all the good holidays off. You won't feel guilty binge watching Gilmore Girls while stuck on the couch breast feeding your newborn because the weather outside is crappy anyway but your baby wants to eat every 2 hours. I feel much more upset if I'm trapped inside on a beautiful sunny day than if I'm trapped inside on a rainy/cold/snowy day. But yes, definitely take opportunities to get out when you can.
@dumbledoredies I was part of that discussion regarding pets. Sigh. I am such a dog person, but yes, they will take a back seat for awhile. It's enevitable even though I swore it wouldn't happen. However, it's great seeing my one dog (the other dog has a different, unrelated story at the moment) be protective over DD and so patient with her (he has his ears and tail pulled many times lol). She has recently started playing with him, and will walk around the house calling his name and looking for him. So, I guess now you can say he gets attention from 3 people instead of 2. We eventually got back into a routine of taking him for walks, etc, and we still absolutely love both our dogs but it's just a fact they don't get as much one on one time as they used to. They're still part of the family. They might just annoy me a little bit more but it will be ok.
@emwj10187 I still don't like other people's kids. I don't even think babies are cute (fffc?), but trust me and everyone else when I say it will be different with your own kid. The love is intense.
*O17 June Siggy Challenge - You had 1 job!*
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
I also worry about my family not getting here in time to stay with DD. Since we don't live near family, I've never spent a night away from her. We have friends that would be glad to watch her, but I'd rather her be with family if it's an overnight stay (like if baby comes at night).
I find none of these fears silly! It feels good to get these out and to know you aren't alone! Crossing my fingers none of these fears happens to anyone!
1) That my labour will go as badly/worse than last time.
2) That DS will hate the new baby.
3) That I'm going to be a horrible mom to 2 kids!
4) That I'll have PPD again.
5) That I'll never get to sleep again for as long as I live...
But the joy she brings me every single day...worth the worry and anxiousness and stress over all of the things that "could" happen. Whatever happens in her life, in our lives. Completely worth it.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!