Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: TTC over 35 weekly check in (week of 3.27)
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
I sent a message to the nurse & doc about what the numbers were. She ordered a qualitative and not quantitative, test was negative is all they can tell me. This is my family doc, I see the RE on Thursday. HPTs & OPKs still negative and no symptoms at this point. I honestly think AF is super late or I'm just skipping it this month. These eggs and ovaries need to get it together!
BFP#1 10/21/11 EDD 06/22/12 natural m/c 11/03/11 6w6d
BFP#2 03/08/12 EDD 11/19/12 met our sweet boy @ 36w5d! 10/25/12!
@PoeMasque I transferred one. Good luck to you on Sunday, my 2nd beta is on Monday, it needs to quadruple by then. Sooo nervous because I'm at risk due to endometriosis.
Thank you ladies, it's so surreal. I wish all of us here get our miracles, age be damned.
@liljoy we have an appt with a new RE on April 11th I want a second opinion just for peace of mind and also they were willing to work with our finances BC our insurance doesn't cover anything but dianostics. If everything works out and we get the go hopefully next cycle which would be the end of April beginning of May.
BFP#1 10/21/11 EDD 06/22/12 natural m/c 11/03/11 6w6d
BFP#2 03/08/12 EDD 11/19/12 met our sweet boy @ 36w5d! 10/25/12!
DH and I talked today about insurance options. I was thinking that if I got AF in a few days which its looking that way because I've been lightly spotting the last 3 days - that we would get the bronze plan for the rest of the year. Higher Ded but lower premium. Then we were talking and if BCBS pulls out like I suspect in 2018 then that only leaves us with Cigna as an option on the exchanges and the hospital they go to isn't the one I'm at right now. So if I did get pregnant this year then I'd owe my current OB for their charges, have to switch to another. We are going to keep current plan if that's the case because my indiv ded is $600max and the bronze is $6000max - quite a difference. Then at the end of the year if I'm not pregnant I will switch to Cigna because they have fertility coverage and we would peruse and RE at that time. I would want to try clomid by itself first and then with IUI - but nothing more than IUI. I have a good friend who did 4 rounds of IUI and nothing. She gave up and 2 years later she conceived naturally at age 36.
we also talked today about my mental state since the loss we had in December. I just seriously can't handle any more stress - every time I get a period it reminds me of what I lost and I end up crying. I'm going to focus on my business - get some more students, network more for gigs. that stuff makes me happy. he said he would do all the worry with getting pregnant lol. He still has so much more hope and I am hanging on with a thread of hope.
I don't know why insurance has to be so difficult I think all insurances should offer infertility coverage. Its a medical condition.
I'll be 38 so I feel like I'm running out if time especially since I would like 2 kids and I'm having this much trouble having one.
Will say a prayer for you that you get a BFP soon. I'm in fertile week and vacation which is good BC I will relaxed not tired from work.
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
I'll also still linger here to cheer you ladies on, if that's ok. Good luck!
@PoeMasque Yay, happy for you! See you on the other side of this board?
I'm not giving up it just may take me longer.
If it got to that point I would totally do Femera over clomid - I even heard that Femera could be covered by insurance if you don't have fertility coverage because it's also used for something else.
Just waiting for AF to start on Thursday at 16dpo - I really hope I'm not one of those that doesn't start period due to these suppositories. OB said if it hasn't started by cycle day 40 then they will give me medicine to jump start AF - if that's the case I will probably stop taking these things because I don't want long cycles that have to be jump started every month.
CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
@Momifbysea
Yes, and Femara has additional advantages: it doesn't thin the lining, quite the opposite, it helps with anti-inflammation and makes the lining more receptive, and quiets down any microscopic endometriosis, which exists in a lot of infertile women.