So you're new here. It's usually not well received when someone comes into an established community of people who have been getting to know each other and supporting each other since December/January, and doesn't care to learn how it works before making their own posts.
This was rude not welcoming or assuming positive intent.
OH my god I'm so sorry it was sooooo rude of me to say that I'd love to get to know you if you just introduced yourself.... gosh that must have been so traumatizing for you. Girl please. I wasn't even rude at all. I'm calling MUD. You've been around TB for three years. That's long enough to get to know how stuff works. I knew someone was going to cry "I thought you were supposed to be supportive!" HA if you had only seen the stuff we've supported each other through. Coming in and getting all pissy and using the F word (fat, in case you were wondering) at one of the nicest people EVER is rude. So before you go around calling people rude, maybe check your shit at the door.
We like the organization of the board and there are posts called Read First that is meant for all new members to read first so you don't accidentally commit a faux pas. We welcome everyone here, just would appreciate if everyone read up on how it works first. But welcome and congrats on your pregnancy. I hope you take the time to review the aforementioned post and that you enjoy the board as much as we do.
@Jayseeka. If you are looking for a forum that embraces individual rather than group posting I would check out BabyCenter. They probably have more of the environment that you are looking for.
You have been nothing but snarky with the seasoned seasoned members here just trying to tell you how the forum works.
So you're new here. It's usually not well received when someone comes into an established community of people who have been getting to know each other and supporting each other since December/January, and doesn't care to learn how it works before making their own posts.
This was rude not welcoming or assuming positive intent.
That wasn't even a tit rude. That was me telling you that posts like yours aren't well received.... because they aren't. But nice try!
Actually many of these women know more about me than my sorority sisters did, and I actually don't share as much as others do around here. But I can tell you who struggled trying to get pregnant, who had a fight with their husband, who had a traumatic birth experience, who had crappy parents growing up, etc. No need to tell us, once again, how you think this community operates. But I digress... Time to dance!
Truth. As a member of a sorority myself i concur 100%. And @Jayseeka if you've never been through a recuitment cycle of greek life then you have no idea what sassy is, and just from your attitude you would've been cut from our list in round 1.
OH my god I'm so sorry it was sooooo rude of me to say that I'd love to get to know you if you just introduced yourself.... gosh that must have been so traumatizing for you. Girl please. I wasn't even rude at all. I'm calling MUD. You've been around TB for three years. That's long enough to get to know how stuff works. I knew someone was going to cry "I thought you were supposed to be supportive!" HA if you had only seen the stuff we've supported each other through. Coming in and getting all pissy and using the F word (fat, in case you were wondering) at one of the nicest people EVER is rude. So before you go around calling people rude, maybe check your shit at the door.
Also rude
That was a flame that you deserved for getting all cry baby boo hoo me when nobody was mean to you. And for using the word fat at possibly the sweetest lady on here. If you're so easily offended and you think everyone's just so rude, maybe you shouldn't be on the internet because it's not all rainbows and unicorn farts.
I was just saying @mrs_tacos and @wyomama0427 just assume positive intent and no need to be rude. You can be informative without making it so personal. Im new, to being a mom and to this app and am not looking at hurting anyone's feeling or stepping on any toes and I would hope you fellow mamas would feel the same.
FFSC- This is exactly the type of thread we need around here for its entertainment value. I'm not WKing, but I don't think we have to worry about clogging this particular BMB. I am enjoying myself nevertheless.
@Jayseeka Can you please elaborate on "positive intent?" I'm not sure you've said it enough times.
ETA: definitely the best way to assimilate yourself into an established community is to 1) ignore all stickied threads 2)create a post on a topic that's addressed part way down the page and 3) get butthurt and name call beloved regulars.
I was just saying @mrs_tacos and @wyomama0427 just assume positive intent and no need to be rude. You can be informative without making it so personal.
I'm sorry you all have been so offended by me saying you can say something nicer if you are trying to "welcome" someone. Clearly we have a different opinion of welcoming someone. And clearly the fat word is a sore subject if someone on the internet who has never seen your baby bump offended you. I don't know what you look like nor would I ever call a pregnant mama or any female fat. The comment was suppose to be an an example of how honestly is not always nice it was not a personal attack. Clearly all my comments have been directed at not wanting to personally attack anyone. I was just trying to make a point that i felt something was rude which only lead to more rudeness. Clearly I'm wasting my breath bc you all are only getting more hostile and take this forum way to seriously. From the beginning You could have said "my intentions were not to be rude but to get to know you" but you decided to go a different route. That's cool you do you. I'm not going to let it upset me as you have clearly let it upset you and that was not my intent.
I don't feel it necessary to get my point across with hostility as that is the route you have clearly chosen. Stress and anger are not good for you or your baby.
@Jayseeka No one means to be rude, I assure you. TB just works a bit differently than other forums that you may be used to. I suggest reading the thread titled *read this first* so you can get a feel for how we post here.
-snip-
@Jayseeka You mean this type of response? Because that is exactly what I gave you.
I don't feel it necessary to get my point across with hostility as that is the route you have clearly chosen. Stress and anger are not good for you or your baby.
Oh you don't want to personally attack anyone? So you just called me and @mrs_tacos out multiple times for being "rude" for shits and giggles then? Hm. Okay. Makes sense.
I don't feel it necessary to get my point across with hostility as that is the route you have clearly chosen. Stress and anger are not good for you or your baby.
I think you are the one taking this way too seriously. I am not mad, nor am I stressed, and my baby is perfectly fine. In fact, I'm having an incredibly pleasant morning! You are tone deaf to the way this community operates, and your repeated attempts to try to "teach" us how to behave are both patronizing and inappropriate for this board. You are constantly misinterpreting playfulness and playful sarcasm for hostility, which, as others have said, may mean this forum is not the right fit for you. You don't seem to get us as a whole, and we certainly aren't about to change everything to please one random internet stranger.
I was dying to use this gif since the first rude was thrown out. But since I have no control over my body today you are getting it now.
My two cents:
@Jayseeka you indicated that you don't know anything about us and have never seen a picture of the person you called fat.
I think thats the part you are missing. All of us have taken the time to get to know each other over the last few months and we have established relationships. If you were to take your time and look over the board you may have seen an answer to your question from someone else.
No one was rude to you, you actually got some real answers.
You also indicated that if we don't see something we don't like that we should just keep scrolling. So why amidst the very real answers that you got would you respond to something you don't like? Why didn't you just keep scrolling once you saw the other responses?
Ok I normally stay out of these and just read and laugh but im putting in my 2 cents today. The advice you were given is legit. Use it for the future and it will be all good. Continuing to say this person and that person was rude is just annoying. Please just get over it and pull your big girl pants on and read some threads and posts. Now if you want real support and have real concerns then this is the place to be!! I could not thank these moms enough for the support I've gotten from them on a very personal matter. They actually helped me get through the hardest thing I've had to deal with and I've never met them! I have great respect for them and would appreciate you just accepting that you had an impulse post and then having a great rest of your day!
OP, you do need to read through the info pinned at the top including TOU (terms of use.) You don't get to dictate the responses you get and I agree with PP that BabyCenter might be more of the type of environment you'd be comfortable with. If you stick around here, please do, it is a wonderful community and there is great support but you have to give it to get it. A touch of snark is the atmosphere on TB but no one was unwelcoming to you.
Some of the ladies of TB know WAY more about me then my sorority sisters ever did. We never had discussions of EWCM. But you are correct that this is a community. A sisterhood if you wish. Join in and participate and you'll see that. Though, given the directions of your posts, my best guess is that a GBCB will come first.
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
OP I agree with what the others are saying. Get to know us. It's always good to lurk for a while before you post. The ladies will be more than supportive to anyone who needs it.
OP I agree with what the others are saying. Get to know us. It's always good to lurk for a while before you post. The ladies will be more than supportive to anyone who needs it.
^^So much this. As first time parents, H has already learned the first response when I'm worrying about a symptom is, "have you asked your bump girls yet?" That is the "rude" community you are trying to shame.
OP I agree with what the others are saying. Get to know us. It's always good to lurk for a while before you post. The ladies will be more than supportive to anyone who needs it.
^^So much this. As first time parents, H has already learned the first response when I'm worrying about a symptom is, "have you asked your bump girls yet?" That is the "rude" community you are trying to shame.
Exactly. DH has taken to calling everyone here my "other family"
Learned something new today: rude=cyber bullying. (Or was I not suppose to see that because it was edited after the call-out?)
And to continue to beat a dead horse: OP, we all get your excitement and nerves when you're a first time mom. Making an impulse post without realizing the general mode of operation on a forum is easily fixed with a "Crap, I didn't realize. Thanks for the redirection." But to try and tell established members (some of us having been active on the boards for well over five years) is what is getting you more of the "rude" tones you're perceiving.
Can we call this horse dead now and move on? That'd be great.
<><><><><>DD1- May 2011<><><><><> <><><><><>Angel Baby- June 2012<><><><><> <><><><><>DD2- March 2013<><><><><> <><><><><>DS1- ETA September 2017<><><><><>
Someone seems to like playing the victim far too much.
No one said anything about you personally. They just recommended that you get familiar with the way things work here that way you will have a better experience.
If you dislike us here SO much, why do you continue to post and respond?
This is getting out of hand lmao quoting the dictionary. For real? If we're splitting hairs here, you're the one who came on here and posted mean spirited shit when you decided to tag me out of all the responses you got and proceed to call me catty and rude and end with a sarcastic comment. So no. Nobody cyber bullied you, you were the one who got "mean spirited". Nobody is forcing you to do anything. I was telling you how the community you waltzed into and asked for attention in works. If you choose to ignore that, then don't cry when you get flamed.
Re: Baby bump barely showing
You have been nothing but snarky with the seasoned seasoned members here just trying to tell you how the forum works.
That was a flame that you deserved for getting all cry baby boo hoo me when nobody was mean to you. And for using the word fat at possibly the sweetest lady on here. If you're so easily offended and you think everyone's just so rude, maybe you shouldn't be on the internet because it's not all rainbows and unicorn farts.
Im new, to being a mom and to this app and am not looking at hurting anyone's feeling or stepping on any toes and I would hope you fellow mamas would feel the same.
*edited for gif size
Can you please elaborate on "positive intent?" I'm not sure you've said it enough times.
ETA: definitely the best way to assimilate yourself into an established community is to 1) ignore all stickied threads 2)create a post on a topic that's addressed part way down the page and 3) get butthurt and name call beloved regulars.
From the beginning You could have said "my intentions were not to be rude but to get to know you" but you decided to go a different route. That's cool you do you. I'm not going to let it upset me as you have clearly let it upset you and that was not my intent.
There. Now can I say look at pinned posts?
@Jayseeka You mean this type of response? Because that is exactly what I gave you.
My two cents:
@Jayseeka you indicated that you don't know anything about us and have never seen a picture of the person you called fat.
I think thats the part you are missing. All of us have taken the time to get to know each other over the last few months and we have established relationships. If you were to take your time and look over the board you may have seen an answer to your question from someone else.
No one was rude to you, you actually got some real answers.
You also indicated that if we don't see something we don't like that we should just keep scrolling. So why amidst the very real answers that you got would you respond to something you don't like? Why didn't you just keep scrolling once you saw the other responses?
OP, you do need to read through the info pinned at the top including TOU (terms of use.) You don't get to dictate the responses you get and I agree with PP that BabyCenter might be more of the type of environment you'd be comfortable with. If you stick around here, please do, it is a wonderful community and there is great support but you have to give it to get it. A touch of snark is the atmosphere on TB but no one was unwelcoming to you.
Some of the ladies of TB know WAY more about me then my sorority sisters ever did. We never had discussions of EWCM. But you are correct that this is a community. A sisterhood if you wish. Join in and participate and you'll see that. Though, given the directions of your posts, my best guess is that a GBCB will come first.
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
And to continue to beat a dead horse: OP, we all get your excitement and nerves when you're a first time mom. Making an impulse post without realizing the general mode of operation on a forum is easily fixed with a "Crap, I didn't realize. Thanks for the redirection." But to try and tell established members (some of us having been active on the boards for well over five years) is what is getting you more of the "rude" tones you're perceiving.
Can we call this horse dead now and move on? That'd be great.
<><><><><>Angel Baby- June 2012<><><><><>
<><><><><>DD2- March 2013<><><><><>
<><><><><>DS1- ETA September 2017<><><><><>
Definition of cyberbullying
: the electronic posting of mean-spirited messages about a person (as a student) often done anonymously
Someone seems to like playing the victim far too much.
No one said anything about you personally. They just recommended that you get familiar with the way things work here that way you will have a better experience.
If you dislike us here SO much, why do you continue to post and respond?