@hartmich Ugh sorry it's playing games with you. I hate spotting in the LP, it's such a MF at any day. I hope your LP isn't shorter than normal this month! It really stinks, from a fellow short LPer. Progesterone has helped me immensely to lengthen my LP.
@safire3 Sorry for the confusion with the SA, that is frustrating! I don't know much about SA so I can't give any advice, but I hope they can shed some clear light for you.
I'm so late to the party, but I'm trying to participate more when I can
Per normal with IF, so many of us are struggling right now. I'm glad to have you all to commiserate with! Hugs to everyone.
@hartmich I am in exactly the same mindset as you are. *TW* I had my CP last May and was so relieved that I could at least get KU, but it's been almost a year since, and it's so frustrating. I do wonder if that's all I will get, just one short taste of what it feels like to be KU...and it feels cruel and unfair. *end TW*
Diagnosis: DOR, AMA
Cycle/CD: 18 (18!!! How did we get here?!?)/12AL/CD7
Status: WTO
What are you doing this cycle: All the herbs and supplements, eliminating plastics and fragrances where I can, added Myo Inositol and DHEA to the mix, working on low-carb eating habits, enjoying one last cycle of natural TTC.
How are things going: Besides the frustration I shared above, OK. OH and I are trying to get our ducks in a row to start freezing his swimmers, now that we've chosen a local clinic to go through. Hopefully we'll spend a good part of April "jerking him off into a cup" as he puts it, so he can start testosterone replacement therapy and get back to his usual energetic self. Then we'll be TTC with frozen sperm and an at-home IUI provider. I'm nervous as hell about the whole thing.
Any questions: Anyone else ever freeze sperm? Any words of wisdom?
GTKY: I think Audible (I'm STILL listening to "It Starts with the Egg..." that shit is overwhelming) and FB, probably.
Me: 45 OH: 42 Beloved SS: born 12/2011 TTC my bio #1/our #2 since January 2016 **TW** June 2016 had CP **end TW** August 2016 - dx with DOR Somewhere in here received recommendation to do IVF with donor eggs, elected not to; OH dx with Low T May 2017 - began freezing sperm June 2017 - OH began treatment for Low T July 2017 - began doing 1 IUI via a midwife and 1 at home insemination each cycle http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/6259ba July 2018 - exhausted frozen sperm, officially NTNP since OH is probably shooting blanks
Jumping in late this week. Long story short, I ended up in the ER over the weekend and now I am thinking of switching doctors. I have had 3 little issues with mine (just scheduling, getting my name mixed up with someone else when I went to get blood drawn. It was caught before but they had the paperwork/labels all with someone else name with a similar last name. Then they didn't have enough staff one morning for me to get my BW done before I had to leave for work after I waited 45 minutes) then comes the big issue... I was put on levoxyl a while ago, I go my TSH checked and they kept my dose the same. So the other morning I was sitting on the couch and I suddenly had such bad chest pains on the right side of my chest. I panicked, and immediately thought it was a blood clot caused by the femara I just finished. Got to the ER they were also concerned my ovarian cyst burst. So lots of tests later and 2 blood draws... The endocrine team come into my room in a panic. Apparently my thyroid is a disaster and I'm toxic on levoxyl and it was causing heart problems and rhythm changes. My Fertility MD or team has called me 2 times since to confirm I am not taking the levoxyl (duh, I'm not an idiot)... Took 4 days but I've finally stopped having chest pains!
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Femara and trigger shot and IUI tomorrow
How are things going? First IUI for us. I only had one good follicle 19mm. They rest were 10mm or smaller So not sure if that will mean that I need to up my femara. I was only on 2.5mg. Also wondering if it was just my thyroid being a mess that caused me to only have one. I haven't been diagnosed with any ovarian issues. But on a positive note, I am so happy that the IUI is tomorrow since thats Mine and DH's only day off in the next week!
Any questions? Anyone else boobs get out of control on Femara? I don't know where I am supposed to hide them. I am hoping they will at least distract people from how awful my face/acne is
GTKY: Besides The Bump or Fertility Friend, what's the most used app on your phone? Pinterest, Fitbit, and Facebook...oh and Insta!
Me: 28 DH:33 Dating: Sept 2009 Married: April 2014 NTNP/TTC Since Dec 2015
@GiddyUp82 Oh holy crap! I can't believe no one checked your thyroid levels as part of your IF testing. What a scary moment! I would definitely change doctors, stat! And I'm not particularly litigious, but you may consider legal action since you wound up in the ER. If nothing else, their office should cover any ER costs...I'm glad you're OK now.
Me: 45 OH: 42 Beloved SS: born 12/2011 TTC my bio #1/our #2 since January 2016 **TW** June 2016 had CP **end TW** August 2016 - dx with DOR Somewhere in here received recommendation to do IVF with donor eggs, elected not to; OH dx with Low T May 2017 - began freezing sperm June 2017 - OH began treatment for Low T July 2017 - began doing 1 IUI via a midwife and 1 at home insemination each cycle http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/6259ba July 2018 - exhausted frozen sperm, officially NTNP since OH is probably shooting blanks
OMG @GiddyUp82 I am so sorry that happened. I would be changing doctors as well. You could have had a fatal arrhythmyia! I am so happy you are ok. Good luck with the IUI tomorrow!
@Aurora1973 There is no late with this thread. We are here all week lol. Sorry I have no advice for freezing sperm. Just wanted to say hugs to you too.
Me: 45 OH: 42 Beloved SS: born 12/2011 TTC my bio #1/our #2 since January 2016 **TW** June 2016 had CP **end TW** August 2016 - dx with DOR Somewhere in here received recommendation to do IVF with donor eggs, elected not to; OH dx with Low T May 2017 - began freezing sperm June 2017 - OH began treatment for Low T July 2017 - began doing 1 IUI via a midwife and 1 at home insemination each cycle http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/6259ba July 2018 - exhausted frozen sperm, officially NTNP since OH is probably shooting blanks
@aurora1973 sorry no advice on sperm freezing... the clinic should have the process down... I guess its mostly about stalking up enough to do as many IUIs as you need/want. The IUI itself is not usually a big deal. GL with everything!! @GiddyUp82 wow that's a lot to deal with! at least they caught the problem but I would definitely be switching doctors. as for a single follie. I've had 7 rounds of letrozole at the same dose and produced anywhere from 1-4 follies. Your RE may also be conservative and only shooting for 1 to decrease the risk of multiples... I hope your feeling better soon and GL tomorrow
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@wabash15 Thanks! Yeah, we're thinking at least a dozen "loads" LOL. The midwife that does at-home IUI does two, one at 6 am and one at 6 pm. Also, apparently when they freeze it, depending on volume, they can get up to 4 vials from one shot. So we'll see how that goes...I'm not sure how many more cycles we'll try, but I want to have a good amount available.
Me: 45 OH: 42 Beloved SS: born 12/2011 TTC my bio #1/our #2 since January 2016 **TW** June 2016 had CP **end TW** August 2016 - dx with DOR Somewhere in here received recommendation to do IVF with donor eggs, elected not to; OH dx with Low T May 2017 - began freezing sperm June 2017 - OH began treatment for Low T July 2017 - began doing 1 IUI via a midwife and 1 at home insemination each cycle http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/6259ba July 2018 - exhausted frozen sperm, officially NTNP since OH is probably shooting blanks
@TravelingCouple Yay for growing follies! That stink you might have to drive far on Saturday. My clinic usually ends up having me come in too often before O too, but I'm terrified of missing it so I just go in whenever they ask.
@KristoKekerooni Yes - that's the one that didn't work! Thanks for the watery eyes... When I was still lurking on these boards, someone (I don't remember who) said her OB/GYN said "Sometimes it takes awhile. After all these are souls in the making." I love that. When I'm so caught up in the science of which follicle is growing and statistics about sperm, etc., etc., I like to think that it isn't all science.
@hartmich Hugs for you today. Sorry for your BFN. *TW* Especially after a loss, I can imagine how BFNs sting. *end TW* I don't think my faith is that strong. I think it was when I was younger, and I'm only starting to come back to it now. Even though it seems like right now is not a particularly good time for me to be building faith since it's not exactly the happiest time of my life, I feel like that it's a sad time in my life is helping build faith. I feel like I've come to a point where I'm just thinking this is beyond what I can handle and I need help from something greater and I want to be at peace with the world knowing that things are tough and may continue to be tough for a long time.
@GiddyUp82 Holy crap! I'm so sorry to hear about your hospitalization. I would be looking for a new doctor too. I'm glad you are okay, but how scary! Good luck with your IUI tomorrow! I wish my boobs grew on femara, but alas, they did not.
My RE gave me the go ahead to start my cycle today. We're doing Gonal-F + trigger + progesterone + estrace. I was in a good mood all morning about starting a new cycle. Then my pharmacy called with the cost of my medications. Over $2,000. I was really lucky last cycle because my clinic gave me a Gonal-F pen, and the meds were cheap before injections. MH and I are in a bit of a shock. They prescribed 2 Gonal-F pens though, and I really think I'll only need one, so I think the price will go down. I just keep telling myself this will all work out... And I am still excited at having some hope again, but that hope is getting pretty pricey.
@madspunk I highly recommend either avella pharmacy or south miami pharmacy for meds. We used south miami pharmacy for gonal-f I paid around $250 for a 300 unit pen. They shipped overnight and their customer service is awesome.
Me: 31 Husby: 36 Married May 2014 TTC # 2 Since December 2021 Baby girl W born 2/2021 Our journey so far... (tw loss & infertility)
Diagnosis: Poor Egg Quality Working with an RE since March 2016 2 failed TI cycles 3 failed IUI cycles
IVF Feb - April 2017 23 eggs collected, 20 mature, 14 fertilized with ICSI, 4 day 3 blasts, 3 day 5 blasts, 1 PGS normal Transferred 1 PGS normal embryo 4.12.17 BFP 4.21.17 MMC due to small gestational sac 6.8.17
Our adoption journey: 12.25.18 Agency picked and apps submitted! 5.1.19 Adoption on hold so we can buy a house! 1.1.20 Homestudy process started 3.14.20 First social worker visit 5.25.20 Homestudy Approved & Submitted to Agency
6.1.20 Surprise! Positive pregnancy test! Healthy baby girl born 2/10/2021
Hi Ladies, just jumping in. Have to tell you that reading this thread gives me much strength. Unfortunately most of the time I only magane to read through the posts and don't have time left to actually write too Cheers to crazy-crazy work.
@GiddyUp82 Wow that's awful, you had to go through that! I hope you are going to be okay now that you are off levoxyl. On the other hand, GL with your IUI today! Omg the first, how are you holding up? Maybe it is a stupid question, but are you nervous? Let us know how it went.
@hartmich So sorry about the bfn yesterday. How are you today? *hugs* Sometimes I too wonder, why could it be happening to us. Like @JuneRoseRuby I try to find reasons behind it. Sometimes I console myself by realizing the our relationship, and bond with DH got so much stronger during all this. That we have a soo solid ground now to build a family on.. But of course at other times this doesn't help at all.
@kiki75-2 How was your HSG? I wanted to write to you about mine, so if you are still ahead: the only thing I wish someone had told me before was that the pain will be sudden. I wasn't expecting that, and even though my doc was great and reassuring I got scared a bit, like mabye it doesn't suppose to hurt like that. But as others said before, they were done quickly and after that the pain went away as quickly as it came.
Me: 33, DH: 38 Married: May 2015 TTC since September 2015
@anna_1021 sorry you have been so busy but glad you're still popping in!
the spotting picked up to full flow last night so I'm not sure why my luteal phase was randomly shorter... I've never had an issue with that before (tw - except for the cycle immediately after our loss). On the plus side, this is the shortest cycle I have ever had so it's that much closer to starting treatments... and now we wait.
@hartmich sorry for messed up LP this cycle It can be so frustrating when even what you thought was a stable element misbehaves. But again, our bodies are very complex, hopefully it is just a one-time-mishap. As for being busy: I always say that I'm lucky to have a job that I love enough to sacrifice things for it - but after almost 3 months of this, to be honest, I wouldn't mind the work crazy to dial down a bit
Me: 33, DH: 38 Married: May 2015 TTC since September 2015
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@laurad75 GL today!! @hartmich sorry for the CD1. it is exciting though that you one step closer to your IVF cycle! @madspunk GL this cycle! sorry for the sticker shock.
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@safire3 wow going from zero sperm to 9 million is a massive jump! Clearly there is some issue getting out but that seems like something they can work with! At least you won't have to do the TESE/TESA now.
@GiddyUp82 how terrible! I am glad everything is okay now though! Heart conditions are scary.
32 years old (both H and I) Dating 7/2008 Married 7/2014 H Type I Diabetic TTC 1/2016
12/2016
mental break from TTC-NTNP
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL) 1/17/2017
SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility) 1/18/2017
STP tubes clear 2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements 6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility 7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm) 8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup 9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze 9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid 9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
@hartmich I'm so sorry for the BFN and surprise early AF. It's so hard because you've been consoling yourself saying it's just too early to test and then WHAM. AF. That sneaky B. It's like you've been trying to finish a test that you thought you might be able to pass and then the teacher snatches it away 20-minutes before the testing period was supposed to end. If it's any consolation, I'm normally at an 11-day LP but in May I had a surprise 9-day LP. Since then, it has returned to my normal 11 days for the vast majority of my other cycles (*TW* BFP was the cycle after, then right after a couple screwy post-loss cycles, right back to normal, until this last 13-day).
@GiddyUp82 I am so glad you went straight to the ER instead of just thinking it was weird and waiting to see. That's scary.
@safire3 Congratulations on 9 million tiny friends! That's great news!!
AFM, #1 IDK what's up with the name change. Some Bump glitch. We'll see if they fix it or what. #2 HSG went really well. I've seen some people say that it's 100x worse than their worst period cramps which really freaked me out because I've spent plenty of time curled in a ball with a heating pad but...uh... The speculum is always weird but it wasn't painful and I had a couple twinges later but other than that, it was like nothing. I couldn't believe it when she said that it was done. Tubes are clear and she said everything looks good. I do have an arcuate uterus that is also tilted. So now that the high of being glad that it was over, wasn't as painful as I feared, and that my tubes are clear is gone, now I'm a little worried about that, even though she said that both are normal variations that don't affect anything. I'm glad that I had the presence of mind to take pictures of the screen with my images before I left. Usually with those things I'm so flustered by trying to clean up and get dressed, I don't remember until later.
I just want to say, your support means a lot to me. I spent a lot of time before and during telling myself that you guys did it, so I can do it.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@kiki75-2 I'm so glad your HSG went well and it was NBD!!
AFM, had my baseline scan today and everything went well other than my left ovary hiding behind my uterus and it hurting like a B for the US tech to get an image. Same protocol, follie check next friday, fx things work!
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@wabash15 Ugh, that sucks, I totally understand! My left ovary is up high so the U/S techs have to push the wand way up there and it's incredibly painful. They're always like "Sorry" and I'm always like "DIAF."
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@Aurora1973 They had been checking my TSH, thats how I ended up on lexoyl in the first place, but just the way it works it takes a while to build up in the system, so changes take weeks sometimes to show themselves. I do wish they were a little more conservative with dosing at first. They were extremely apologetic about me ending up in the ER and have called me several times to check in one me.
@Anna_1021@safire3@wabash15@madspunk (and others I'm probably missing trying to catch up fast!) - Thank you for the well wishes on my IUI. Because we were told it probably won't work, I tried to not get excited, but of course.... I did. DH had the nurse laughing really hard and made the whole thing a lot easier for me, emotionally. Physically, only complaint... Dang! Can they warm up the metal speculum! Brrrrr!
@eggplantface and @wabash15 it always hurts for them to check my left ovary, I wonder if thats why. They never told me why they are going in hard on that side. Just a little "Sorry" meanwhile, I'm trying to not levitate off the table. I'm glad I'm not the only one!
edited to try to get it to stop doing weird links for the whole paragraph
Me: 28 DH:33 Dating: Sept 2009 Married: April 2014 NTNP/TTC Since Dec 2015
@kiki75 - I'm glad your HSG went well! I was also so nervous about pain before mine because I had heard horror stories (thanks Google). But it wasn't that bad. Went to work a little after. As to your uterus shape, I'm not super familiar with those terms, but I have heard being tilted isn't unusual.
@eggplantface - I had to google "DIAF", Love it! Yes, thats how I feel too!
Me: 28 DH:33 Dating: Sept 2009 Married: April 2014 NTNP/TTC Since Dec 2015
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@kiki75 Glad your HSG went well and it wasn't painful. As for the tilted uterus: as far as I know we are all different a bit, so if your doc said it's not a problem, probably it is not. Maybe you can talk about it more during your next visit?
@GiddyUp82 Glad the IUI went well. As for not getting our hopes up.. I feel you. I decided not to get mine up for this cycle for nothing, but hey, only lasted til 5 dpo. Yesterday I started cramping and found myself SSing :P I give up, seems like I'm hopeless dreamer (after 19 months it seems pointless to believe in natural conception any more). YH sound fun, glad he was there to lighten the mood If you don't mind me asking: was he there with you during the procedure itself? We will have our first IUI in April (at least that's what I'm hoping for) and I'm not sure what to do. I've been thinking probably DH shouldn't be in the room for the actual procedure, because, if it is anything like the HSG was, I'm note sure I want him to preserve that image in his mind. On the other hand, if he is not in the room, then he is practically not there for the beginning of our potential child's life.. I hope I'm making myself clear - language barriers are getting to me now Sorry.
Actually, FOR THE WHOLE GROUP: for those of you who did IUIs: was YH in the room with you for the procedure? (see above) Thanks for the input, girls.
Me: 33, DH: 38 Married: May 2015 TTC since September 2015
@Anna_1021 DH was in the room for my first IUI. It's really similar to getting a pap done. My HSG was really painful but my IUIs were just a bit uncomfortable. The nurse gave DH the option of pushing the plunger once everything was in place but he passed. He didn't come to my other IUIs because his schedule didn't work out
So last night I discovered that CD1 sucks just as much even though I know that we have like 0 chance of getting KU on our own. Then to add a new twist to the IF mind f$&*, I realized that I don't want to make my DH feel even more terrible about us not being able to get pregnant (now that we know the problem is mainly with his swimmers) so I pretended I was totally fine with getting my period, waited for him to fall asleep then cried myself to sleep. This process really sucks. Today I feel like I should be more worried about getting though this with my sanity intact than getting KU.
@Anna_1021 DH was in the room for my first IUI. It's really similar to getting a pap done. My HSG was really painful but my IUIs were just a bit uncomfortable. The nurse gave DH the option of pushing the plunger once everything was in place but he passed. He didn't come to my other IUIs because his schedule didn't work out
I think this depends on your cervix and how much fluid is in your bladder. My first IUI was nothing, but my second two were horribly awful and painful. My cervix is a real B though, so I don't think this is super common. It might help to have a slightly full bladder when you do it.
@safire3 Sorry for CD1. It's true - even when you know chances are very slim, it still hurts when you find out for sure you're not pregnant. Creepy internet hugs to you. You're really thoughtful for trying not to make DH feel bad. Make sure you have all the outlets you need for your disappointment if you don't think talking to DH about it would be good.
@safire3 I know exactly what you mean about hiding my feelings - I don't share any of it anymore with H because I know he blames himself (even though I have my own issues). It can be really lonely and I know not everyone thinks the same, but I figure why should we both suffer? CD 1 totally sucks (actually they all do, but especially day 1...) and I'm sorry you're hurting. We are here to listen though and send you lots of hugs and comfort.
@safire3 @hartmich. All of this. DH saw me break down our last couple cycles begore his SA, but honestly now it's pretty much nbd. I stopped temping a while ago, just loosely tracking cm on paper so I know where I'm at, but whatevs. Mostly it's the whole situation itself I feel like I can't break down in front of him bc he will be too hard on himself seeing me that way, but honestly, for me right now, AF has lost her sting.
Talk to me after treatment when we're actually TRYING again... :/
@safire3 I'm so sorry, it sucks so much. And I'm sure a part of you still holds on to hope, despite what the doctors say. So it's still that roller coaster of 'maybe?' and then the let down. We are here, be kind to yourself
Thank you @madspunk, @hartmich, @BusinessWife, @TravelingCouple. It's nice to know I am not alone. @BusinessWife I feel if I were a logical being I should feel like you do. I expected myself to handle it better now that we know but apparently not. I know DH feels like it's all his fault which I hate because it's not like he has any control over it. Anyway I feel a bit better now. I went to do some serious gardening that I probably wouldn't be able to do if I was KU. For you lovely ladies from my garden this morning:
@safire3 I am so sorry you are hurting. I think you are incredibely brave and strong for toughing it out for DH. It can be lonely so I hope you have someone to do talk it over when needed. MH is an eternal hopeful type, even though we can talk about everything, once I was so upset over cd1, felt hopeless and before I knew I even managed to drag my full-of-hope H with me. It was and awful couple of days, seeing him down. So ever since he got his hope back, I too do my best to let him keep it. Hugs for you. Cd1 sucks, no matter what the chances are.
Me: 33, DH: 38 Married: May 2015 TTC since September 2015
@safire3 lovely! You just got your news kinda? I mean it takes time. Hopefully you won't be in limbo too long, either (((hugs))) dint get me wring, I still kinda freak out on pretty much a daily basis, just in other ways lol
@BusinessWife yep this was our first cycle knowing all our diagnoses and all the reasons we are not getting KU. For some reason I thought it would be easier now that we have an explanation.
@Anna_1021 my H is exactly the same. I hate seeing him down because I rarely ever do. I feel like if he's down then the world must really be ending!
Re: IF/Testing Check In - Week of 3.20
@safire3 Sorry for the confusion with the SA, that is frustrating! I don't know much about SA so I can't give any advice, but I hope they can shed some clear light for you.
I'm so late to the party, but I'm trying to participate more when I can
Per normal with IF, so many of us are struggling right now. I'm glad to have you all to commiserate with! Hugs to everyone.
@hartmich I am in exactly the same mindset as you are. *TW* I had my CP last May and was so relieved that I could at least get KU, but it's been almost a year since, and it's so frustrating. I do wonder if that's all I will get, just one short taste of what it feels like to be KU...and it feels cruel and unfair. *end TW*
Diagnosis: DOR, AMA
Cycle/CD: 18 (18!!! How did we get here?!?)/12AL/CD7
Status: WTO
What are you doing this cycle: All the herbs and supplements, eliminating plastics and fragrances where I can, added Myo Inositol and DHEA to the mix, working on low-carb eating habits, enjoying one last cycle of natural TTC.
How are things going: Besides the frustration I shared above, OK. OH and I are trying to get our ducks in a row to start freezing his swimmers, now that we've chosen a local clinic to go through. Hopefully we'll spend a good part of April "jerking him off into a cup" as he puts it, so he can start testosterone replacement therapy and get back to his usual energetic self. Then we'll be TTC with frozen sperm and an at-home IUI provider. I'm nervous as hell about the whole thing.
Any questions: Anyone else ever freeze sperm? Any words of wisdom?
GTKY: I think Audible (I'm STILL listening to "It Starts with the Egg..." that shit is overwhelming) and FB, probably.
Beloved SS: born 12/2011
TTC my bio #1/our #2 since January 2016
**TW** June 2016 had CP **end TW**
August 2016 - dx with DOR
Somewhere in here received recommendation to do IVF with donor eggs, elected not to; OH dx with Low T
May 2017 - began freezing sperm
June 2017 - OH began treatment for Low T
July 2017 - began doing 1 IUI via a midwife and 1 at home insemination each cycle
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/6259ba
July 2018 - exhausted frozen sperm, officially NTNP since OH is probably shooting blanks
Diagnosis (If you've been): Unexplained Infertility
Cycle/CD: lost count/cd13
GTKY: Besides The Bump or Fertility Friend, what's the most used app on your phone? Pinterest, Fitbit, and Facebook...oh and Insta!
Dating: Sept 2009
Married: April 2014
NTNP/TTC Since Dec 2015
Living on a little farm!
Beloved SS: born 12/2011
TTC my bio #1/our #2 since January 2016
**TW** June 2016 had CP **end TW**
August 2016 - dx with DOR
Somewhere in here received recommendation to do IVF with donor eggs, elected not to; OH dx with Low T
May 2017 - began freezing sperm
June 2017 - OH began treatment for Low T
July 2017 - began doing 1 IUI via a midwife and 1 at home insemination each cycle
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/6259ba
July 2018 - exhausted frozen sperm, officially NTNP since OH is probably shooting blanks
@Aurora1973 There is no late with this thread. We are here all week lol. Sorry I have no advice for freezing sperm. Just wanted to say hugs to you too.
Beloved SS: born 12/2011
TTC my bio #1/our #2 since January 2016
**TW** June 2016 had CP **end TW**
August 2016 - dx with DOR
Somewhere in here received recommendation to do IVF with donor eggs, elected not to; OH dx with Low T
May 2017 - began freezing sperm
June 2017 - OH began treatment for Low T
July 2017 - began doing 1 IUI via a midwife and 1 at home insemination each cycle
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/6259ba
July 2018 - exhausted frozen sperm, officially NTNP since OH is probably shooting blanks
@GiddyUp82 wow that's a lot to deal with! at least they caught the problem but I would definitely be switching doctors. as for a single follie. I've had 7 rounds of letrozole at the same dose and produced anywhere from 1-4 follies. Your RE may also be conservative and only shooting for 1 to decrease the risk of multiples... I hope your feeling better soon and GL tomorrow
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Beloved SS: born 12/2011
TTC my bio #1/our #2 since January 2016
**TW** June 2016 had CP **end TW**
August 2016 - dx with DOR
Somewhere in here received recommendation to do IVF with donor eggs, elected not to; OH dx with Low T
May 2017 - began freezing sperm
June 2017 - OH began treatment for Low T
July 2017 - began doing 1 IUI via a midwife and 1 at home insemination each cycle
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/6259ba
July 2018 - exhausted frozen sperm, officially NTNP since OH is probably shooting blanks
@KristoKekerooni Yes - that's the one that didn't work! Thanks for the watery eyes... When I was still lurking on these boards, someone (I don't remember who) said her OB/GYN said "Sometimes it takes awhile. After all these are souls in the making." I love that. When I'm so caught up in the science of which follicle is growing and statistics about sperm, etc., etc., I like to think that it isn't all science.
@hartmich Hugs for you today. Sorry for your BFN. *TW* Especially after a loss, I can imagine how BFNs sting. *end TW* I don't think my faith is that strong. I think it was when I was younger, and I'm only starting to come back to it now. Even though it seems like right now is not a particularly good time for me to be building faith since it's not exactly the happiest time of my life, I feel like that it's a sad time in my life is helping build faith. I feel like I've come to a point where I'm just thinking this is beyond what I can handle and I need help from something greater and I want to be at peace with the world knowing that things are tough and may continue to be tough for a long time.
@GiddyUp82 Holy crap! I'm so sorry to hear about your hospitalization. I would be looking for a new doctor too. I'm glad you are okay, but how scary! Good luck with your IUI tomorrow!
I wish my boobs grew on femara, but alas, they did not.
My RE gave me the go ahead to start my cycle today. We're doing Gonal-F + trigger + progesterone + estrace. I was in a good mood all morning about starting a new cycle. Then my pharmacy called with the cost of my medications. Over $2,000. I was really lucky last cycle because my clinic gave me a Gonal-F pen, and the meds were cheap before injections. MH and I are in a bit of a shock. They prescribed 2 Gonal-F pens though, and I really think I'll only need one, so I think the price will go down. I just keep telling myself this will all work out... And I am still excited at having some hope again, but that hope is getting pretty pricey.
Married May 2014
TTC # 2 Since December 2021
Baby girl W born 2/2021
Our journey so far...
(tw loss & infertility)
Working with an RE since March 2016
2 failed TI cycles
3 failed IUI cycles
IVF Feb - April 2017
23 eggs collected, 20 mature, 14 fertilized with ICSI, 4 day 3 blasts, 3 day 5 blasts, 1 PGS normal
Transferred 1 PGS normal embryo 4.12.17
BFP 4.21.17
MMC due to small gestational sac 6.8.17
Our adoption journey:
12.25.18 Agency picked and apps submitted!
5.1.19 Adoption on hold so we can buy a house!
1.1.20 Homestudy process started
3.14.20 First social worker visit
5.25.20 Homestudy Approved & Submitted to Agency
6.1.20 Surprise! Positive pregnancy test!
Healthy baby girl born 2/10/2021
@GiddyUp82 Wow that's awful, you had to go through that! I hope you are going to be okay now that you are off levoxyl. On the other hand, GL with your IUI today! Omg the first, how are you holding up? Maybe it is a stupid question, but are you nervous? Let us know how it went.
@hartmich So sorry about the bfn yesterday. How are you today? *hugs* Sometimes I too wonder, why could it be happening to us. Like @JuneRoseRuby I try to find reasons behind it. Sometimes I console myself by realizing the our relationship, and bond with DH got so much stronger during all this. That we have a soo solid ground now to build a family on.. But of course at other times this doesn't help at all.
@kiki75-2 How was your HSG? I wanted to write to you about mine, so if you are still ahead: the only thing I wish someone had told me before was that the pain will be sudden. I wasn't expecting that, and even though my doc was great and reassuring I got scared a bit, like mabye it doesn't suppose to hurt like that. But as others said before, they were done quickly and after that the pain went away as quickly as it came.
Married: May 2015
TTC since September 2015
@madspunk FX this new cycle works for you!
@giddyup82 glad you're ok!
@anna_1021 sorry you have been so busy but glad you're still popping in!
the spotting picked up to full flow last night so I'm not sure why my luteal phase was randomly shorter... I've never had an issue with that before (tw - except for the cycle immediately after our loss). On the plus side, this is the shortest cycle I have ever had so it's that much closer to starting treatments... and now we wait.
Married: May 2015
TTC since September 2015
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@hartmich sorry for the CD1. it is exciting though that you one step closer to your IVF cycle!
@madspunk GL this cycle! sorry for the sticker shock.
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@GiddyUp82 how terrible! I am glad everything is okay now though! Heart conditions are scary.
Dating 7/2008
Married 7/2014
H Type I Diabetic
TTC 1/2016
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL)
1/17/2017 SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility)
1/18/2017 STP tubes clear
2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation
H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements
6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility
7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm)
8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup
9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze
9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid
9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim
October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
@GiddyUp82 I am so glad you went straight to the ER instead of just thinking it was weird and waiting to see. That's scary.
@safire3 Congratulations on 9 million tiny friends! That's great news!!
AFM, #1 IDK what's up with the name change. Some Bump glitch. We'll see if they fix it or what. #2 HSG went really well. I've seen some people say that it's 100x worse than their worst period cramps which really freaked me out because I've spent plenty of time curled in a ball with a heating pad but...uh... The speculum is always weird but it wasn't painful and I had a couple twinges later but other than that, it was like nothing. I couldn't believe it when she said that it was done. Tubes are clear and she said everything looks good. I do have an arcuate uterus that is also tilted. So now that the high of being glad that it was over, wasn't as painful as I feared, and that my tubes are clear is gone, now I'm a little worried about that, even though she said that both are normal variations that don't affect anything. I'm glad that I had the presence of mind to take pictures of the screen with my images before I left. Usually with those things I'm so flustered by trying to clean up and get dressed, I don't remember until later.
I just want to say, your support means a lot to me. I spent a lot of time before and during telling myself that you guys did it, so I can do it.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
AFM, had my baseline scan today and everything went well other than my left ovary hiding behind my uterus and it hurting like a B for the US tech to get an image. Same protocol, follie check next friday, fx things work!
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
@eggplantface
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/d8/tdwpsqb8aaed.gif" alt="">
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
They had been checking my TSH, thats how I ended up on lexoyl in the first place, but just the way it works it takes a while to build up in the system, so changes take weeks sometimes to show themselves. I do wish they were a little more conservative with dosing at first. They were extremely apologetic about me ending up in the ER and have called me several times to check in one me.
@Anna_1021 @safire3 @wabash15 @madspunk
(and others I'm probably missing trying to catch up fast!) - Thank you for the well wishes on my IUI. Because we were told it probably won't work, I tried to not get excited, but of course.... I did. DH had the nurse laughing really hard and made the whole thing a lot easier for me, emotionally. Physically, only complaint... Dang! Can they warm up the metal speculum! Brrrrr!
@eggplantface and @wabash15
it always hurts for them to check my left ovary, I wonder if thats why. They never told me why they are going in hard on that side. Just a little "Sorry" meanwhile, I'm trying to not levitate off the table. I'm glad I'm not the only one!
edited to try to get it to stop doing weird links for the whole paragraph
Dating: Sept 2009
Married: April 2014
NTNP/TTC Since Dec 2015
Living on a little farm!
@eggplantface - I had to google "DIAF", Love it! Yes, thats how I feel too!
Dating: Sept 2009
Married: April 2014
NTNP/TTC Since Dec 2015
Living on a little farm!
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
@kiki75 I'm glad the HSG went well. Also I don't think the tilted or arcurate uterus should cause any problems. They are just normal variants.
@GiddyUp82 I'm glad the IUI went well. We can always trust the DHs to bring the humor into every situation FX this works for you!
@GiddyUp82 Glad the IUI went well. As for not getting our hopes up.. I feel you. I decided not to get mine up for this cycle for nothing, but hey, only lasted til 5 dpo. Yesterday I started cramping and found myself SSing :P I give up, seems like I'm hopeless dreamer (after 19 months it seems pointless to believe in natural conception any more).
YH sound fun, glad he was there to lighten the mood If you don't mind me asking: was he there with you during the procedure itself? We will have our first IUI in April (at least that's what I'm hoping for) and I'm not sure what to do. I've been thinking probably DH shouldn't be in the room for the actual procedure, because, if it is anything like the HSG was, I'm note sure I want him to preserve that image in his mind. On the other hand, if he is not in the room, then he is practically not there for the beginning of our potential child's life.. I hope I'm making myself clear - language barriers are getting to me now Sorry.
Actually, FOR THE WHOLE GROUP: for those of you who did IUIs: was YH in the room with you for the procedure? (see above)
Thanks for the input, girls.
Married: May 2015
TTC since September 2015
Talk to me after treatment when we're actually TRYING again... :/
Married: May 2015
TTC since September 2015
@Anna_1021 my H is exactly the same. I hate seeing him down because I rarely ever do. I feel like if he's down then the world must really be ending!