@SugarRush I agree. Everything adds up way too quickly. I didn't have an engagement party, Bachelorette party, or bridal shower because of multiple reasons but mostly because everyone was already traveling to our wedding since everyone lived in different states. I felt bad enough that people were spending money to come but luckily we did in the FL near Orlando so a lot of family used it as a family vacation time as well and went to Legoland and Disney world.
@Ae_Lovely321 I will happily go to a destination wedding and treat it as part vacation! My husband caught some major heat from me for attending a bachelor party at the beginning of January that was in New Orleans. I was livid because we didn't do a family vacation a few months prior, so why is it OK for him to go on vacation with his buddies and not do family vaca? So bogus.
I don't think Grandparents should watch grandkids more than 1 day a week as a day care provider. If you want to work or have to work, put your kid in a real day care/hire a nanny/in home day care. They already raised their kids. They don't need to raise their kids' kids too.
I wish I had the means of placing my child in daycare all week or a majority of the week. But unfortunately I can't. When I got married I wanted kids right away, but we couldn't afford kids. I told myself I would wait until I could afford to place a child in daycare. Five years later and I realized if I waited that long it may never happen. Between paying for 3 kids 50% of the time, plus child support on top of that, and normal bills, an extra $1,000 a month isn't feasible for us.
So while I would prefer my child go to daycare, they will more than likely be going to grandparents during the day.
Haha we're good pal! I think its a right of passage thing- I think you said this is your first online mom group right? If you didnt know, you didnt know and were just going with the flow.
on the maternity pic front I totally agree there are SO MANY awful photo shoots that happen where the moms just look SO awkward and unnatural. Like laying up on a tree branch or looking "sexy" at the camera-You just cant help but cringe when you see them.
BUT that does give me a good idea for a siggy challenge in the later months- Bad Maternity photos!
I don't think Grandparents should watch grandkids more than 1 day a week as a day care provider. If you want to work or have to work, put your kid in a real day care/hire a nanny/in home day care. They already raised their kids. They don't need to raise their kids' kids too.
But this implies that the part-time care giver, not the parent, is raising the child. I know a lot of working moms who take issue with that sentiment.
My statement comes from more that there's structure at a non-family related provider/place vs hanging at grandma and grandpas every day. Grandparents are supposed to be fun. They're supposed to bend mom and dad's rules. If grandparents do that every day or even just most days of the week, kids (in my personal experience, not a blanket experience) don't follow directions or rules as well as their counterpart cohort. It undermines the parents' parenting whereas a non family provider listens to and enforces the parents' rules. Again, just my personal experience.
Thank goodness we all get to and do parent differently. I suspect not all grand parents are alike either. My mom only watches my kid once a week, but I wouldn't feel like I was screwing him up if she watched him more than that. From personal experience, my being in day care 5 days a week didn't make me a more compliant child and they were all about rules there.
I don't think Grandparents should watch grandkids more than 1 day a week as a day care provider. If you want to work or have to work, put your kid in a real day care/hire a nanny/in home day care. They already raised their kids. They don't need to raise their kids' kids too.
But this implies that the part-time care giver, not the parent, is raising the child. I know a lot of working moms who take issue with that sentiment.
My statement comes from more that there's structure at a non-family related provider/place vs hanging at grandma and grandpas every day. Grandparents are supposed to be fun. They're supposed to bend mom and dad's rules. If grandparents do that every day or even just most days of the week, kids (in my personal experience, not a blanket experience) don't follow directions or rules as well as their counterpart cohort. It undermines the parents' parenting whereas a non family provider listens to and enforces the parents' rules. Again, just my personal experience.
My mom watches my son 2-3 days a week and he goes to MDO two of those days. She insisted on watching him, which is fine because daycare and nannies are super expensive. She doesn't let him get away with whatever just because she's the grandma. She is so great with him. Takes him to toddler activities at the church play dates, the park, etc. It's basically a nanny as my mother. She also does our laundry and cleans. She truly loves it. I feel super spoiled and I'll hate it the day she says she's too old and can't do it anymore. We haven't butted heads on discipline issues. If that ever comes up, then we'll decide if we need a non family nanny.
@SugarRush I agree on the weddings. I was in a wedding several years ago that cost a total of $4,000 once everything was totaled, and that was with her parents paying for all the bridesmaids dresses (which cost $1,500 each), and everyone's hotel rooms for the weekend of the wedding. I know the MOH spent even more. Here's a list of everything we did: bridal shower; lingerie shower; bachelorette weekend; mini bridesmaid-only bachelorette party two nights before the wedding; a group gift towards the honeymoon; my hair and makeup; and travel expenses to and from both showers, the bachelorette, and the wedding. I love the bride, but honestly, if I were to go back in time, I would not say yes to being in her wedding again. It was just too much.
My mother was an absolute godsend with my first child. I was 18 and barely making above minimum wage when I had her. If I hired a babysitter it would have cost more than I made per hour and I may as well not have worked at all. Also, I knew I could trust my mother. Handing over a barely six week old baby to some people I don't even know would be a terribly hard thing for me. By the time my daughter was in daycare she could fully communicate with me about her day and I felt confident that she would tell me if anything happened.
Now that I've moved away and I'm making more than twice the amount that I did before, daycare will be my only option with the new baby. We plan on doing a LOT of research before choosing a place. I'm taking as much FMLA as possible to stay home with the new baby.
Completely agree. The comment sections on Facebook are the worse when it comes to larger models and things of that nature. There's also a lot of skinny shaming too. "Go eat a burger" comments and what have you.
People pretend that they are primary care physicians and health advocates when we all know that they don't give two shits about whether or not that person is healthy.
It's not like they're going to slap drinks out of people's hands in bar or cigarettes from between people's fingers who are smokers. But they get allllll up in arms about people loving themselves the way they are, regardless of whether or not they are trying to be healthier.
P.S. I had a fried chicken sandwich and a large fry for lunch and it was AMAZING!!! screw body shamers!!!
@amandarene112 oh my word!!!!! You take the cake on that one!! Did you like/love the bridesmaid dress and did you ever wear it again?! My own wedding dress costed less than that!! lol!
@amandarene112 oh my word!!!!! You take the cake on that one!! Did you like/love the bridesmaid dress and did you ever wear it again?! My own wedding dress costed less than that!! lol!
My dress cost less than that too! And no, the bridesmaids dress was hideous- bright turquoise, multiple layers of netting, and cut so it made everyone's hips look huge. Oh, one expense I forgot about was having the dress taken in. I needed a size 10, but the company sent a size 20. There wasn't enough time to send it back and get a new one, so I had to have it taken in. Then corseted bust was so complicated that it wouldn't have been completed in time for the wedding, so I just had to buy the biggest bra I could find and go with it. Everyone thought I had mammoth boobs, but it was all padding!
@amandarene112 $1500 for a bridesmaid dress? Whaaa? My wedding dress was $400 (Canadian!)
We went to Vegas for a joint bachelor/bachelorette party but our wedding party was one group of friends who used to travel together anyway and was their idea, not something we requested. Only one night of three was bachelorette related. It was an awesome time but definitely not something that was expected! We also didn't let anyone pay for us except for dinner/activities that one night. I didn't have a shower that involved any wedding party/friends or anything else like that leading up to the wedding. It's crazy how many things people now see as "mandatory" for their weddings
UO: I HATE that giant painted on eyebrows are such a thing right now- I think everyone is going to look back at their photos in a few years and say " dear god what was I thinking??" This is one trend I am happy to sit out.
I don't think Grandparents should watch grandkids more than 1 day a week as a day care provider. If you want to work or have to work, put your kid in a real day care/hire a nanny/in home day care. They already raised their kids. They don't need to raise their kids' kids too.
But this implies that the part-time care giver, not the parent, is raising the child. I know a lot of working moms who take issue with that sentiment.
My statement comes from more that there's structure at a non-family related provider/place vs hanging at grandma and grandpas every day. Grandparents are supposed to be fun. They're supposed to bend mom and dad's rules. If grandparents do that every day or even just most days of the week, kids (in my personal experience, not a blanket experience) don't follow directions or rules as well as their counterpart cohort. It undermines the parents' parenting whereas a non family provider listens to and enforces the parents' rules. Again, just my personal experience.
My mom watches my son 2-3 days a week and he goes to MDO two of those days. She insisted on watching him, which is fine because daycare and nannies are super expensive. She doesn't let him get away with whatever just because she's the grandma. She is so great with him. Takes him to toddler activities at the church play dates, the park, etc. It's basically a nanny as my mother. She also does our laundry and cleans. She truly loves it. I feel super spoiled and I'll hate it the day she says she's too old and can't do it anymore. We haven't butted heads on discipline issues. If that ever comes up, then we'll decide if we need a non family nanny.
This bothers me, a lot. My in-laws are both recently retired, and in their late 50's. Several years before DH and I were even talking about kids, they came to us and told us that if we wanted them to, they would watch any children we might have for us, full time. Their parents did the same for them, and they were able and willing to do the same for us. My in-laws lived 5 hours away when they told us this, and they knew it meant selling their house and moving. They did it anyway, because they wanted to help us, and be near their grandchild. This meant the world to us, and they have been nothing but amazing with DS.
We discuss parenting issues, how we handle situations with DS (like the random, over absolutely nothing at all toddler temper tantrums he's having right now), so that we are all on the same page. In MD (this is probably true in other places as well), daycares are required to have a designated crib for each infant/ young toddlers to sleep in. There are none in my area that will accept kids under the age of 2 part time for this reason, as they cannot have another part time child sleep in that crib. Our plan is to put DS in daycare part time after he turns two, so that he can still have the socialization and structure that comes with it.
@Souptin omg, yes. The crazy exaggerated eyebrow trend is way too much. I understand adding a tiny bit of color/shape but making them half the size of your face does not look good. One of my friends got laser hair removal for her actual eyebrows and just got eyebrows tattooed on that isn't even close to her natural hair color. I wish I could have talked her out of it.
UO: I HATE that giant painted on eyebrows are such a thing right now- I think everyone is going to look back at their photos in a few years and say " dear god what was I thinking??" This is one trend I am happy to sit out.
LOL my eyebrows would probably look like that naturally if I let them grow out. Spoiler alert, I pluck those bad boys.
UO of the day: 50 Shades of Grey is the most amazing COMEDY ever. read all 3 books and saw the movies. I went and laughed...did not want to get off after. If any man said "laters baby" to me...my inner goddess would run for the hills. I'm not a prude (i sell sex toys!), but man oh man...it's just awful.
UO of the day: 50 Shades of Grey is the most amazing COMEDY ever. read all 3 books and saw the movies. I went and laughed...did not want to get off after. If any man said "laters baby" to me...my inner goddess would run for the hills. I'm not a prude (i sell sex toys!), but man oh man...it's just awful.
Oh yes good lord it's awful, I have friends on Facebook who share screenshots of texts from their SO, and that plus your UO gives me this UO... I can't STAND when people call their SO baby boy/baby girl. NO NO NO. It hurts my ears and makes me want to take a shower.
UO of the day: 50 Shades of Grey is the most amazing COMEDY ever. read all 3 books and saw the movies. I went and laughed...did not want to get off after. If any man said "laters baby" to me...my inner goddess would run for the hills. I'm not a prude (i sell sex toys!), but man oh man...it's just awful.
I read 1.5 of the books. I couldn't make it through the second one. The relationship seemed more abusive than sensual to me. There's no way I would deal with that level of control from my SO.
Echoing my post from thirsty Thursday my UO is that there is no better soda than DR Pepper! My mil always says "oh that stuff tastes like cold medicine" and I'm always like it tastes better when you're not a psycho I guess....
Echoing my post from thirsty Thursday my UO is that there is no better soda than DR Pepper! My mil always says "oh that stuff tastes like cold medicine" and I'm always like it tastes better when you're not a psycho I guess....
I love Dr. Pepper cause it's always great at maintaining the fizz factor.
UO of the day: 50 Shades of Grey is the most amazing COMEDY ever. read all 3 books and saw the movies. I went and laughed...did not want to get off after. If any man said "laters baby" to me...my inner goddess would run for the hills. I'm not a prude (i sell sex toys!), but man oh man...it's just awful.
I read 1.5 of the books. I couldn't make it through the second one. The relationship seemed more abusive than sensual to me. There's no way I would deal with that level of control from my SO.
I have never read those books. I have heard enough commercials for it on the radio to know that it's a very poor representation of BDSM.
Echoing my post from thirsty Thursday my UO is that there is no better soda than DR Pepper! My mil always says "oh that stuff tastes like cold medicine" and I'm always like it tastes better when you're not a psycho I guess....
YUP! I'm usually not much of a soda drinker, but I've definitely indulged in Dr P a lot during this pregnancy!
My only comment to the grandparents and daycare UO is that when baby #2 comes along, I would LOVE to have my inlaws or my parents watch our kids 2-3 days a week, instead of shelling out $1,800 a month for child care. However I am not that fortunate, my inlaws still work full time and my parents are out of state.
I will say though that daycare/school has been so wonderful for my DD. Not to be an AW, but she's not even 3 and she's already almost completed the kindergarten assessment test. She loves the curriculum, her friends and of course the snacks. I'm grateful that its worked out the way it has.
@DPandMB My mom switched OBs late in her pregnancy with me because they called me a fetus. A dog jumped on her stomach and she went in and said "I just want to make sure everything is ok with my baby." The OBs reply was "First of all, what you have is a fetus."
Re: UO Thursday 3/23
So while I would prefer my child go to daycare, they will more than likely be going to grandparents during the day.
ETA: Words are hard
I have no desire to look at naked bellies ever. Pull your shirt down!
June Siggy Challenge: Workout
on the maternity pic front I totally agree there are SO MANY awful photo shoots that happen where the moms just look SO awkward and unnatural. Like laying up on a tree branch or looking "sexy" at the camera-You just cant help but cringe when you see them.
BUT that does give me a good idea for a siggy challenge in the later months- Bad Maternity photos!
June Siggy Challenge: Workout
We haven't butted heads on discipline issues. If that ever comes up, then we'll decide if we need a non family nanny.
Side note: will someone in Central FL please eat at Tijuana Flats so I can live vicariously through you?! I miss Throwback Thursday
Now that I've moved away and I'm making more than twice the amount that I did before, daycare will be my only option with the new baby. We plan on doing a LOT of research before choosing a place. I'm taking as much FMLA as possible to stay home with the new baby.
People pretend that they are primary care physicians and health advocates when we all know that they don't give two shits about whether or not that person is healthy.
It's not like they're going to slap drinks out of people's hands in bar or cigarettes from between people's fingers who are smokers. But they get allllll up in arms about people loving themselves the way they are, regardless of whether or not they are trying to be healthier.
P.S. I had a fried chicken sandwich and a large fry for lunch and it was AMAZING!!! screw body shamers!!!
I had a Five Guys burger and some cajun fries. No shame here.
@lilpoots
i absolutely hate body shaming, but i find myself doing it to myself sometimes, Less now in this pregnant state, but I totally agree.
We went to Vegas for a joint bachelor/bachelorette party but our wedding party was one group of friends who used to travel together anyway and was their idea, not something we requested. Only one night of three was bachelorette related. It was an awesome time but definitely not something that was expected! We also didn't let anyone pay for us except for dinner/activities that one night. I didn't have a shower that involved any wedding party/friends or anything else like that leading up to the wedding. It's crazy how many things people now see as "mandatory" for their weddings
June Siggy Challenge: Workout
We discuss parenting issues, how we handle situations with DS (like the random, over absolutely nothing at all toddler temper tantrums he's having right now), so that we are all on the same page. In MD (this is probably true in other places as well), daycares are required to have a designated crib for each infant/ young toddlers to sleep in. There are none in my area that will accept kids under the age of 2 part time for this reason, as they cannot have another part time child sleep in that crib. Our plan is to put DS in daycare part time after he turns two, so that he can still have the socialization and structure that comes with it.
DS2: EDD- 09.08.17
Married: 10.15.16
DS BD: 8.20.17
TTC #2 1.1.19
BFP #2 7.3.19
EDD #2 3.13.20
I will say though that daycare/school has been so wonderful for my DD. Not to be an AW, but she's not even 3 and she's already almost completed the kindergarten assessment test. She loves the curriculum, her friends and of course the snacks.
Really?? Who says that??