@LadyMillil I'm very sorry to hear about the AMA diagnosis. Does this change how you feel going forward with IVF? I know t sounds so stupid that one is all it takes, but it is! And if the chance is there?
Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI (azoospermia), DOR
Cycle/CD: 14/22
Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) DH had a repeat SA and more BW. First meeting with urologist on Thursday.
How are things going? So the RE's office refuses to give us any of the new results. They sent it to the urologist's office so we have to wait until then. I am so nervous and anxious and Thursday seems so far away. I just want some answers so we can make a plan. In the mean time we alternate between making plans for how we would pay for IVF (we are 100% OOP for anything fertility related) and hoping that it's all a mistake and the second sample was just fine.
Any questions? Maybe after Thursday
GTKY: Besides The Bump or Fertility Friend, what's the most used app on your phone? Probably FB and amazon
@hartmich I know exactly what you mean. I want to test too although I know our chances are about 0. It doesn't help that I get so many symptoms in every tww. FX for you though! If you are a SS I know it would give a lot of us some hope!
@wabash15 So I just learned that my calculator turns into a scientific calculator when I turn my phone sideways. Mind. Blown. I always have my orientation lock on so I never knew this. Thank you!
@MrsJ2410 I really hope your biopsies come back benign.
@tamalahoops FX for your FET this cycle that everything goes according to plan!
@JuneRoseRuby So sorry about your panic attack. I really hope YH is responding to the clomid and you guys get some more time to make that decision. If you don't mind my asking did your friends decide on adoption or using a sperm donor? I don't want to get ahead of myself but I may have to face some of these decisions in the near future.
@mrsdaddario Congrats on Oing! Sorry you have to put off IVF a bit longer. FX everything goes according to plan!
@laurad75 FX for your appt tomorrow and your ER this weekend. I know it's not guaranteed but all you need is one so hang in there and don't give up. We are all rooting for you!
@eggplantface Congrats on the ER! FX all 3 pass the PGS. When will your transfer be?
@Kiki75 Sorry your last cycle was horrible. My HSG really was no big deal (and im being honest). My RE did mention that the method they use is a little different so usually it's not painful. It was over before I knew it. I think they had me cough when they inserted the catheter to distract me from any pain and it worked. I had mild cramping and pressure but no real pain.
@zwink1 Sorry for the added diagnosis but I'm glad you have a plan. I hope YH is right and IUI works for you guys. Like you said, if it doesn't work then at least he will be happy you gave it a shot.
@LadyMillil I'm sorry about your test results. I also have low AMH but my RE still thinks we have a chance with IVF. Good luck with your RE visit next month.
@safire3 My friend hasn't made any choices on what they plan to do next. I didn't probe either. she just told me that she was not going to go through with the TESE because she was also OOP for the testing but the procedure was covered. I am opposite, the testing is covered, but the procedure isn't. So the procedure is $500 OOP and then testing covered. But she was quoted at $10,000 for the testing with procedure covered. So that would put their IVF, ICSI, PGS, TESE at about $30,000... She told me that they are going on vacation when they planned on doing the TESE and I didn't ask if they planned on donor or adoption. I know we have both talked about donor in the past and both of our husbands struggle with it. Knowing the child isn't biologically theirs, but it is half ours. So I know my H is more open to adoption. My current plan is hopefully the clomid works, if not TESE in May/June, IVF July if possible. We really want to try for at least one round to see if it is possible. If it doesn't work, I think we would move onto adoption. I don't think I could spend another $20,000 on a small chance when I could use the money for adoption. But everyone makes their own choices. I just keep trying to stay in the now and keep a general plan in the background. Still waiting on results from my H's BW
32 years old (both H and I) Dating 7/2008 Married 7/2014 H Type I Diabetic TTC 1/2016
12/2016
mental break from TTC-NTNP
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL) 1/17/2017
SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility) 1/18/2017
STP tubes clear 2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements 6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility 7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm) 8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup 9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze 9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid 9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
Diagnosis (If you've been): haven't gotten one yet but BW results showed elevated FSH
Cycle/CD: 15/8
Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) testing- still waiting for my initial bloodwork (amh, vitamin d). Day 3 bloodwork said elevated FSH (10.6) all other day 3 tests were normal. Had a hsg today, everything looked good tubes all open just tilted uterus. DHs SA results came back today too 65% motility, good morph and good count. I have to go back for CD 21 bloodwork in two weeks (I usually O between cd 13-17) then I meet with the RE again the next day after cd 21 BW to review all results and discuss a treatment plan
How are things going? Things are going okay. I've been a little anxious and googling like crazy and really eager to meet with the RE again to review everything and get things moving along.
Any questions? This is all new to me so there's a lot I don't know that I'm still learning. Looks like the only thing so far has been elevated fsh. I'm not really sure what they are going to recommend for treatment everything online just talks about IVF but we haven't done any other treatment yet. Anyone have any thoughts about what a first possible plan of action would be? We are 100% OOP for treatment.
GTKY: Besides The Bump or Fertility Friend, what's the most used app on your phone? facebook
I went in for another monitoring this morning and they could still only see the 3 follicles. I will stim once more tonight, trigger tomorrow and ER will be Friday. I'm disappointed that we are only going to get the three but hopeful that one could be a transferable embryo. Regardless, we will likely do another round of stims and ER before moving forward.
History and blog link in spoiler
2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks May 2020 FET; BFN July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate Oct 2020 BFP!
@beachbunnyxo123 That's awesome that they're getting you back in so quickly to get a plan together! I think you're going to have a lot of options - your FSH isn't extremely high, so based on the charts I've seen, your response to any sort of ovarian stimulation drugs is only slightly lowered. So even just some medicated cycles could make a big difference for you!
@JuneRoseRuby Thank you so much. I totally get where your friend is coming from. Spending that amount of money without any guarantee is really hard. At the same time giving up one having a biological child seems even harder to me. To be honest I have not even brought up the idea of a sperm donor to DH because I know how he would feel about it. This process is so difficult. Thank you for sharing. FX That your husband's BW shows a response and that if you have to do IVF that it is successful.
@safire3 I brought up a sperm donor last year before I even started testing with the RE because of my friend's situation and so I know how he really feels. It changes a little now that we are in this situation, but I know my end goal is to have a baby and if I get to have a baby but have to give up the biological end, then I can get there. It will definitely not be easy but trying to keep my eyes on the prize. Just to clarify, we will definitely have to do IVF, its really just if we have an option of IVF biologically or not.
32 years old (both H and I) Dating 7/2008 Married 7/2014 H Type I Diabetic TTC 1/2016
12/2016
mental break from TTC-NTNP
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL) 1/17/2017
SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility) 1/18/2017
STP tubes clear 2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements 6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility 7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm) 8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup 9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze 9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid 9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
@JuneRoseRuby I understand. I think DH and I will be able to sit and really discuss all the options (limited as they may be) after our appointment on Thursday. Also I know the plan for you is IVF. I guess in the back of my mind I am hoping that at least one of us will be that SS that gets KU while waiting.
@beachbunnyxo123 of course your welcome here! Unless something crazy comes back I suspect they will recommend IUI or TI first. I think that is where a lot of REs start unless there is something specific that would make IUI not worth the time. Fx the rest of your results look ok
@laurad75 hugs. i am so sorry you don't have more follies but hopefully these 3 are amazing and will give you 3 beautiful embies. Keep us updated on how things go on friday.
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Diagnosis (If you've been): Unexplained secondary IF
Cycle/CD: 17/12
Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Letrozole, Trigger, Progesterone, all the supplements, BBT, OPKs maybe? if there's a point with the trigger?
How are things going? I had my first therapy session this afternoon. I think she got about 4 words in and I talked the entire hour. Just talked and talked and talked..it felt really good. I'm hoping to make it there weekly. This morning I went to something and the featured speaker was sharing her story on IF and what she's been through in life and how God brought her through it. I was in tears, sobbing heaving tears, and had to leave at one point because I started coughing I was crying so hard. My sister was also there and we sat in the back through the rest of it. I resonated with so much of what she talked about. I am firm believer in God and I've really wrestled with why and what are you doing to me God a LOT this past year and half and it was gut wrenching to hear what she had gone through but then that was the point..that she did make it through. I saw her afterward and ugly cried while hugging her. She was so, so sweet and gave me her number to get together and chat. My family and inner circle are filled with fertile myrtles so it was so nice to be connected with someone who has been there and gone through heartache and made it out alive to share her story with others. That paired with my therapy appt has given me some great outlets today. Also, I don't remember who recommended it, but the book Conquering Infertility by Dr. Alice Domar has been really helping me too. I'm really really trying to live in the NOW, today, and not stress about the next test, next step, what ifs and when. It's really hard to do that but I'm trying.
For this cycle, I go back in on Thurs to see if my 1 maturing follicle has progressed enough. Yesterday it was only at 10mm and only 1 was maturing. The nurse said they like to see multiple follicles in a medicated cycle and they'd expect them to be further along at this point. So I'm hoping it's not a wasted cycle. If I end up with just 1 follicle, I suppose that means I didn't respond to the Letrozole? I was already producing 1 egg each month on my own so the whole purpose of this was to send more eggs down the tube. Hoping to have better news on Thursday.
Any questions? Is there a point to using OPKs during a medicated cycle when you will be doing a trigger shot anyway?
GTKY: Besides The Bump or Fertility Friend, what's the most used app on your phone? Facebook & Snapchat
@hartmich This board has been super quiet lately, it makes me sad because it's just a reminder about how many people have moved on while I'm still here. Super happy for them, sad for me. I hope you don't need IVF either
@wabash15 I love that your most used app is your calculator!
@tamalahoops I am so rooting for you and excited for you this cycle girl! @Anna_1021 I'm glad having a plan has helped your mental health, I totally relate @JuneRoseRuby I will be hoping YH's FSH is up too so it's not an issue @magnolia131 I'm with you on trying to stay busy. I'm trying to do everything I can to refill my mental health cup every day and it's constantly leaking out from exhaustion. @mrsdaddario Yay for new insurance! And YAY for Oing on your own! Waiting is the pits, the upside is at least you'll be waiting in nicer weather and can (hopefully) keep yourself busy in the sun! I am such a summer person so the winter really takes a lot out of me. The sun rejuvenates me! June is an awesome month to try (I was born in June, I'm not biased or anything ) @laurad75 Hugs girl, let us know how it goes today with your appt. Hoping for great news @eggplantface Yay for your ER! Fx so tight for you this cycle @kiki75 I'm so sorry for the MF, that was me last month too. It is such an emotional roller coaster. Hugs, girl. I took some Ibuprofen before my HSG, no telling if it helped but I had no pain for mine. @KristoKekerooni Wow that is quite the mixup for your office to do...uncool. @zwink1 I'm not going to quote your whole post but "I'm just so sick of feeling like I'm standing in quick sand going no where." Yes. I hear you. @leekat14 How are you feeling on Clomid? Any side effects? @LadyMillil I'm so so sorry for the bad news you got. Would your RE move forward with IVF still? Sending you love and hugs.
@TravelingCouple so far my side effects have been exhaustion and crankiness...The exhaustion is the big one. Scan is tomorrow so we will see how far along they are!
@TravelingCouple unless you tend to O early there is not really a need to do OPKs. I have now done 7 rounds on letrozole (all the same dose) and I have had 1, 2, 3 and 4 follies. So though you would love to have more all you need is one. I hope it is growing for you. I am so glad you had some good IF outlets today. Hang in there!
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@TravelingCouple - I started crying reading your post. I am SO happy you feel a little better. therapy helped me AMAZINGLY. And I love hearing speakers who seem to just GET it. It's rare, and I am so happy to hear you felt it. Religion talk in spoiler... long.
I really struggle, too, with the religion and IF thing. It's been a struggle, and frankly, I am so, so bitter. I've been fighting it so, so much. Typically, I'll find something that resonates with me, and it will hold me over for a few months till I am "empty" again and need to find new inspiration. 1:TW- with my first loss, someone sent me a link to the song "Perfect Way to Start" by Craig Allen. It got me through my next three losses and I still randomly go back and watch on tough loss-related days. 2: I think my next big "help" was one line in one song- "The wind and waves still know Your name" The whole song is golden, but that particular line really resonated and reminded me that everything-everything- has to answer to Him. This infertility devil still has to abide by Him. He has control. "Let go, my Soul, and TRUST in HIM" It's SO freaking hard to do that, but it helped me knowing that this was something that answers to Him, not to me. 3: "you have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved." I saw this line a few days ago on Pinterest and it resonated for me so much. I am really open about my struggle and actually have made many friends through it. A lot of these friends had never spoke to anyone about their IF struggles, but came to me after seeing something I posted, or hearing me mention our issues. In fact, I am working really close with one friend. She has been trying for 8 (?) years, but has been paralyzed by anxiety and fear and hasn't even gone to the doctor. She started talking to me after I was open about my issues. It's been MONTHS of quite conversations and gentle prodding. About a month ago she came to me and just said she felt so much at peace, and today she finally had her first IF appointment. Obviously we know nothing, but the fact that she finally had an appointment after so many years is HUGE. I can't help but think "maybe this is why." anyway, I am so sorry it got so long, but 1. I feel you. and 2. I pray and hop that you can continue to find peace and understanding, and, above all, your baby. (PS: I follow several IG that are "TTC inspiration" and they are really great. In fact, I just started on of my own and it's been cathartic to post what I am thinking and to have others respond with their takes on whatever quote I post, or even argue against it. maybe even if you don't want to advertise you can look some up, if that's the kind of thing that helps you? Even Pinterest? I have an entire board dedicated just to "I can freaking do this")
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@wabash15 Yes, all it takes it one..must keep swimming. Hoping that 1 is all it takes.
*religiously focused post follows* @KristoKekerooni Well girl you've gone and made me cry reading your post too. Thank you so much for sharing. Every week at church I have to just accept that I'll be crying by the end of service. It has definitely been a trying time for me. I think God is definitely showing me through this that I have to trust him, there's no other option. As much as I try to control everything in my life, this is something that, clearly, I can't control. He's definitely showing me that. The hard part for me is then following through with giving up that control and trusting him and his plan. Something the speaker this morning said that resonated with me and brought my tears that were pooling to completely spill over was "God is writing your story. You can't see the end but you are watching it unfold page by page. If you're in the midst of a dark place, know that God is with you in that dark place." Sometimes I feel so isolated and alone and forget to turn to Him. I love that your story is helping others and your friend's story made me cry. What a beautiful thing it is to help others through the darkness and pain you're experiencing yourself. That's really what it's all about. I'm going to look on IG now, I hadn't even thought about that before.
@TravelingCouple - I soooo feel you on crying every dang Sunday. It's a rough road. It's so easy to feel alone and in the dark, but thank God we have God. It's difficult to remember to turn to Him, but it's even more difficult to know HOW to turn. Like... it's not like there is a tangible person to cling to, you know what I mean? It's not like you can really turn it off an go from a sobbing mess on the bathroom floor to completely put-together and trusting. The only thing I have found that I can really do is just sob and cry and say "But even if you do not, I will still praise you" Literally as I am sobbing. I'm a work in progress. I always try to remember the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. How that passage talked about how God could save the from the fire because He is capable, and then they go on to say something along the lines of "I don't need to explain it to you, God can save us. But even if He chooses not to, I'll still praise Him, and worship Him." To me, that is so, so powerful. Because God CAN save me from this infertility. He CAN give me a baby. But even if He does not, I will still praise him.
But even if You do not, I will be content.
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@KristoKekerooni I have felt really really low and at the end of my rope lately and I keep telling everyone who will listen WHERE'S MY SIGN? What am I supposed to do?? Is God trying to tell me something through this or teach me something?? Where IS God through all this? And just feel really angry.
I wasn't going to go this morning but really felt like I should. So I did. My therapist and I really clicked. And now everything you're writing today is really resonating with me too. I feel so strongly that God is saying I'm here. Thank you so much girl, seriously. Every time you share encouragement with someone, you never know how much that other person needed it. And I really did today. So thank you.
@TravelingCouple - Hugs, friend. This is why we have a group like this. Feel free to PM me anytime. You aren't alone.
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
Hello! I see a few familiar names in here from when I participated in the daily threads last year. Sorry to see you here but thought it would be nice to say hi. I reintroduced myself in the newbie thread since it had been like 6 months since I posted. Hope it's cool if I join you guys.
@hartmich The (general not IVF specific) materials I got from my RE say "current data appears to indicate that small amounts of alcohol (1 or fewer glasses of wine or beer a day) do not interfere with fertility". In person she said "the alcohol thing is a myth" in reference to all fertility issues and treatments and that added that it can help men (which I thought was weird). Guess we had a sober January for nothing!
@JuneRoseRuby Panic attacks are the worst. I have a history of anxiety and was holding up pretty well lately until last week. FX you won't be in a position to have more of them and that everything goes well with your H.
@leekat14 I have that with MH too--it's really annoying. His job is very stressful and I get that but multiple days of non optional non spontaneous sex in a row bugs the shit out of him. I'm like, dude, I'm sorry, but you're going to need to get over it.
Diagnosis (If you've been): My RE said I have "Pituitary Pause", which I can't find a lot of info about online. Basically the way she described it is, "most people have a pituitary that tells their ovaries to ovulate the same day every cycle, but yours daydreams and then gets to talking to your ovaries whenever it feels like it", which explains why my cycles range from 29-45, but are never months and months long like if I had PCOS or something. H's semen analysis and all my bloodwork so far was normal so the pituitary thing is all we've got to go on for now.
Cycle/CD: 11 or 12/32
Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO according to the ultrasound I will ovulate later this week unless my stress pushes it off again.
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) TI this cycle, and then next cycle we are doing the HSG and if clear going directly to a IUI w/ Clomid same cycle. We are skipping the FSH test because the RE said it is useless for people with Pituitary Pause.
How are things going? It could be worse. The RE said I have a decent number of eggs for my age and the semen analysis was good so I should be happier about those things but I am having bad anxiety and sleep problems and have been pretty distraught about the whole fertility thing lately. I think the gravity of the whole situation has finally hit MH.
Any questions? Is it normal to go directly to an IUI w/ Clomid cycle without doing any medicated cycles with TI first? My RE didn't really give us an option of doing it another way. She said Clomid was the easiest to start with but that we had to do IUI with it because it dries up your CM. We did say we wanted to be aggressive because of my age but MH is really freaked out that we are going directly to a procedure. I'm less freaked out because I want to move fast but he's uncomfortable. Does anyone else in here have Pituitary Pause? When she said it she made it sound like it was common but again the online info on it is slim to say the least.
GTKY: Besides The Bump or Fertility Friend, what's the most used app on your phone? Wordfeud (it's similar to words with friends)
IVF + ICSI would now be our only chance for a biological Kid so we are going forward with it. We may end up doing a couple ERs now to bank embryos for later depending on the results.
@TravelingCouple@KristoKekerooni just reading the posts between you two was everything that I needed today! I've been struggling too with walking the line of venting frustration yet keeping my faithfulness. I think the hardest part for me is I've always tried to have control over things and when I was ready I was expecting His timing to be my timing. I believe that my pregnancy will be a testament of His goodness and grace. I know His promises and that His word says he will reward me with children. He gave Sarah a baby when she was 90 years old. The hardest part is just accepting the wait and that His time is the best time. I just ordered a book online that's a weekly devotional praying for your pregnancy and it goes into detail about what's happening that week for the development and how to pray for each of those things for the baby. For me this was a step of faith. I wouldn't have bought the book if I didn't stand firm on His promises and trust in Him that he can and will make it happen. He loves us and wants us to have the desire of our hearts. Knowing this keeps me strong.
@hartmich TTGP has totally been quiet lately!! It is sad. I've never seen anything like it in my almost 2 years participating here!!! Hoping that you are a SS and that this is your cycle!
@wabash15 what will be the plan for your next medicated cycle?
@tamalahoops girl my fingers are crossed so hard for you and your beautiful embryo
@Anna_1021 glad you are feeling hopeful and I hope the time passes quick to get to the IUI
@JuneRoseRuby I hope you get YH results back soon and that the clomid is working!
@mrsdaddario yay for O'ing on your own, hoping that the time passes quick and that the wait is worth it!
@laurad75 so sorry for the headaches :'( GL this weekend!!
@eggplantface congrats on the ER! Fx for great results!
@Kiki75 good luck with the hsg! I had one today and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be.
@zwink1 I hope that things start to feel like they're moving along and that you get more clarity about what the plan is going to be!
@TravelingCouple I'm glad you are liking the book! I am still slowly working my way through it. But when I read it, I'm like, yup that's me! Its making me want to do a yoga retreat and focus on myself.
Thanks for the well wishes today ladies! H heard back from the doc, the Clomid IS WORKING!!! oh I really couldn't be happier! I feel like okay, we have a fighting chance! And hopefully the insane money spent on supplements will also do its job of helping morph and motility. So SA in May then an IVF plan after that. I really really really needed this. We've been slammed with more and more bad news every time.
32 years old (both H and I) Dating 7/2008 Married 7/2014 H Type I Diabetic TTC 1/2016
12/2016
mental break from TTC-NTNP
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL) 1/17/2017
SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility) 1/18/2017
STP tubes clear 2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements 6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility 7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm) 8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup 9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze 9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid 9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
@TravelingCouple@KristoKekerooni@beachbunnyxo123 *raises hand* hi....fellow believer here. thanks for sharing, I feel your sentiments. church is so hard for me. I find its just the culture that people just reproduce like nothing...maybe its just my church. But I've been working on choosing joy and writing down all the things I'm thankful for and the blessings in my life at the end of the day. I've found some comfort in resting in the fact that I know that God has written my story out, He knows my baby and who they will be......He just hasn't revealed them to me yet for whatever reason. I believe that if the desire is put into your heart, then He will fulfull it in some way, at some time. Even if it doesn't look like how we thought it would. A girl at my church who knows our struggles gave me a little snowglobe that says "even miracles take a little time" and in the middle is a pillow with cinderella's glass slipper. It was so nice...I look at it often and it brings me comfort.
Me: 27 // DH: 30 Married 05/21/2011 TTC Since Feb 2016 RE: Dec 2016 Dx: PCOS 5 rounds of Letrozole 5mg + Ovidrel + TI BFP!!!! June 2017 // EDD: 04/01/2018 IT'S A BOY!
@vflux33 welcome (back), sorry that you're here. Our RE gave us the option to do TI before IUI which is what we're doing this cycle. Will move on to IUI if TI isn't the ticket for us.
@JuneRoseRuby I'm so happy you got good news!!! And yes that book I'm always thinking to myself.. yup.. I could've written that myself. The chapter on how it affects your marriage is so spot on.
@beachbunnyxo123@vintageandrea90 Waiting on God's timing is so hard. I've had to wait for things in my life before, of course we all have. But this is such a different level of waiting, patience and trust that I've never experienced before.
I'd be interested in having a thread to share our prayers and thoughts with each other. I don't want to take over this thread and make anyone feel uncomfortable. Let me know what you think.. If not a thread on this board then a group is an option too. I know it'd help me to be able to work through the faith part of this pain with others.
@safire3 Good luck on Thursday! When you're waiting for results, time goes so slowly! I feel like this is one of the slowest years of my life. @beachbunnyxo123 Welcome to the board. Hopefully your stay here is short! I'm not sure what treatment they'll advise based on your results, but hopefully you'll get a plan soon. @laurad75 Good luck on Friday! Sorry you only have 3 - but as you said one of those 3 might be THE one. @TravelingCouple I'm hoping your follie will grow by Thursday. If the point of treatment was for more follies, they might recommend adding injectables into your cycle, or have you continue a higher dose of Letrozole for a little longer. I think you had mentioned that at the start of this cycle they had said there was a possibility of that. Either way, remember you are one step closer now so it's not a wasted cycle. I don't do OPKs when I have a trigger shot since the trigger shot is kind of your positive OPK. I'm glad to hear your therapy session went so well. I teared up reading about you listening to the speaker. I'm glad you shared that. IF has actually brought me closer to God. I feel like I've been running my life like I'm in control and like the good things in my life are a result of my hard work, and now with IF I'm realizing that there's something higher than me, that good things only happen through Him, and that He wants me to sit back, relax, and enjoy the life he has planned for me - even when it's not going according to my plan. @KristoKekerooni I love that quote - "you have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved" @vintageandrea90 I'm working on the same things - choosing joy and being thankful. It does help, and even though IF feels really big, there are a lot of things to be thankful for. I was looking at your signature, and our DX and timelines are pretty similar - DX PCOS, TTC in Feb 2016, started seeing RE in Nov. @vflux33 Welcome to the board. I have not heard of "pituitary pause" though I know I was tested for something related to my pituitary. They were pretty sure I had PCOS, but then they wanted to test and make sure it wasn't something with my pituitary that was adding additional complications. The testing came back normal. I think a lot of REs recommend IUI right away because it increases your chances. When my RE laid out all my options, he didn't mention TI in any of them. I had to ask about it specifically. My RE is letting us do TI, but every time I go there, it seems the nurses are assuming I'm doing IUI, so I think a lot of people just go straight to IUI. MH was uncomfortable with going straight to IUI as well, which is why we settled on TI.
@TravelingCouple Also a June baby!! Married to a June baby. So I am biased too! As far as the Letrozole, what strength (mg) are you on? I'm surprised the nurse hasn't played with upping your dose. Ask for that next time (if there is one). I didn't respond at all to 5mg, then popped two follicles right away on 7.5mg. Worth a shot if there is a next time.
32 years old (both H and I) Dating 7/2008 Married 7/2014 H Type I Diabetic TTC 1/2016
12/2016
mental break from TTC-NTNP
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL) 1/17/2017
SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility) 1/18/2017
STP tubes clear 2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements 6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility 7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm) 8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup 9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze 9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid 9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
@vflux33 - would assume that this has a good chance to work for you. If really the only issues is just getting you to actual ovulate on time and have sperm there where you need it, a trigger seems to be all you really need. That being said, that is grossly simplified. I'm sorta intrigued, so when I have time later today I will search my database and see if I can find anything on this. I'll let you know if I dig anything up. As far as TI/IUI, it's true Clomid does tend to dry you up. There are ways around that... but I also have always been #TeamDoAllTheThings , so I hated TI. *shrug*
@beachbunnyxo123 Funny that you mention that, because I too have struggled with the "Promise." It's an uncomfortable fact that not everyone with infertility will walk away with a baby. It's just fact. So sometimes I sit here and think "Maybe it's His will for me to be Childless so I can be a testament to Him, and devote my life to Him." but then other days I kinda think "BullShit, there's no way. The Bible is EXPLODING with how much He loves children and how children are a gift. I don't think He desires anyone to be childless." moreover, I ask myself "Would I better serve Him with or without children?" And if the answer would be that I would become a missionary deep in the heart of the redlight district if I didn't have kids, yeah, I could see him wanting me to be childless. but to be frank, that ain't happening. I'll always be a chemist. Kids or no kids, I'm a chemist. Sure my job might change from pharmaceuticals to medicine or research or something, (who knows?) but I don't see that (with my limited vision) impacting the world for Him. But if I am destined to make some big discovery and become famous and talk about Him or something (that's a stretch) then I could do that with kids too, I think. I don't know. That's just the internal debate I have like, daily.
@JuneRoseRuby - What kinda increase are you seeing? I am ECSTATIC for you! It's funny because everything I have ready says that Clomid is sort of a "hail Mary" because it only works on very few men... but every single person I know who has taken it, it's helped. Tell us the numbers!!!! EEEEEKKKKK
@vintageandrea90 - It definitely isn't just your church. Mine too, that's the "issue" with young churches, I guess? But it's rough and I have had a few people say stupid things. going up for prayer and stuff at the end of service and being told "I think you are pregnant right now" (Uhm, no, I haven't ovulated yet, but thanks) and then things like "Just relax and let God work, You are getting in His way" Which doesn't sound all that stupid till you think about it. But it's hard! I did read an article floating around on facebook a couple weeks ago, I'll come back and link it later if I can find it again. It encouraged me to write a list about all the things I am thankful for regarding not being pregnant again. Here's my partial list:
Thank you for:
-leading me to so many new friends. Both through the web and IRL.
-giving us extra time to gain better financial freedom
-allowing Will and I to grow closer through hardships
-giving me the chance to grow up and learn to empathize more.
-giving me the chance to better learn and appreciate my body-your creation.
That helped me realize that the last 33 cycles have not been a waste, even if they've felt like.
The article also was basically a mother who talks to her daughter about how much she was loved and cared for, but she took a long time to get to her. And the daughter looked at her mom and said something along the lines of "I know why it took so long, God was making me!" And how true is that. How much more special is the little girl or boy that God spent this whole time making and waiting till just the right time to give her/him to you? Maybe not "special" to anyone else, I'm not saying IF babies are better or whatever. but just think about looking at the kids face as they grow and thinking "This kid was worth it"
@madspunk - I have the quote taped to my home mirror, next to the paper where my OPKs hang.
Edit: WHY SPOILER, WHY?
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@vflux33 I remember you! Welcome back. Sorry to see you here at this thread. I haven't heard of pituitary pause before. It sounds like how my RE explained my elevated FSH she said it's working harder to get my body to listen for it to O. Was there a reason she didn't want to check your fsh level?
@TravelingCouple I would definitely be interested! Maybe a weekly thread and if there's interest we can start a group?
So I had an interesting morning...Went in for my ultrasound and there are two good follicles. The nurse gave me the trigger shot and I passed out! I hit my head on the way down so now I have a giant mark on my forehead. Ugh!
@KristoKekerooni I love the list and the story. Sometimes we can be so fixated on the end result that we don't enjoy life associated with the journey. Thanks for the insight!
@leekat14 - OMG, girl. Glad you're okay!? But yay for the follicles?
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@leekat14 - I'm laughing with you not at you? Haha, Please make it a good story. You were fighting naked mole rats or something... I'm sure it happens all the time. Really though, glad a gash is all you got. Scary.
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@vflux33 welcome back. I think its really common to go straight to IUI. Thats what both of my REs have done. For me I figure if I am paying OOP I should jump in whole hog (at least with IUI) @LadyMillil I'm glad your moving forward with IVF still. From lurking the IVF threads it sounds like multiple rounds of ER to bank follies is not uncommon. Have you gotten on the schedule yet? GL @beachbunnyxo123 well today is CD1, not a SS but I didn't expect to be. So I have my baseline US on friday and we will do letrozole 5mg, then estrogen (I tend to have a thin lining) trigger, then progesterone and prayer. @JuneRoseRuby HOORAY!!!!!! @leekat14 oh goodness girl! I hope your heads OK. You might not be laughing now but it will be a great TTC story later on! congrats on 2 beautiful follies and triggering! GL!!!
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
Re: IF/Testing Check In - Week of 3.20
Cycle/CD: 14/22
GTKY: Besides The Bump or Fertility Friend, what's the most used app on your phone? Probably FB and amazon
@hartmich I know exactly what you mean. I want to test too although I know our chances are about 0. It doesn't help that I get so many symptoms in every tww. FX for you though! If you are a SS I know it would give a lot of us some hope!
@wabash15 So I just learned that my calculator turns into a scientific calculator when I turn my phone sideways. Mind. Blown. I always have my orientation lock on so I never knew this. Thank you!
@MrsJ2410 I really hope your biopsies come back benign.
@tamalahoops FX for your FET this cycle that everything goes according to plan!
@JuneRoseRuby So sorry about your panic attack. I really hope YH is responding to the clomid and you guys get some more time to make that decision. If you don't mind my asking did your friends decide on adoption or using a sperm donor? I don't want to get ahead of myself but I may have to face some of these decisions in the near future.
@mrsdaddario Congrats on Oing! Sorry you have to put off IVF a bit longer. FX everything goes according to plan!
@laurad75 FX for your appt tomorrow and your ER this weekend. I know it's not guaranteed but all you need is one so hang in there and don't give up. We are all rooting for you!
@eggplantface Congrats on the ER! FX all 3 pass the PGS. When will your transfer be?
@Kiki75 Sorry your last cycle was horrible. My HSG really was no big deal (and im being honest). My RE did mention that the method they use is a little different so usually it's not painful. It was over before I knew it. I think they had me cough when they inserted the catheter to distract me from any pain and it worked. I had mild cramping and pressure but no real pain.
@zwink1 Sorry for the added diagnosis but I'm glad you have a plan. I hope YH is right and IUI works for you guys. Like you said, if it doesn't work then at least he will be happy you gave it a shot.
@LadyMillil I'm sorry about your test results. I also have low AMH but my RE still thinks we have a chance with IVF. Good luck with your RE visit next month.
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Dating 7/2008
Married 7/2014
H Type I Diabetic
TTC 1/2016
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL)
1/17/2017 SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility)
1/18/2017 STP tubes clear
2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation
H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements
6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility
7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm)
8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup
9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze
9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid
9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim
October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
Cycle/CD: 15/8
GTKY: Besides The Bump or Fertility Friend, what's the most used app on your phone?
facebook
I went in for another monitoring this morning and they could still only see the 3 follicles. I will stim once more tonight, trigger tomorrow and ER will be Friday. I'm disappointed that we are only going to get the three but hopeful that one could be a transferable embryo. Regardless, we will likely do another round of stims and ER before moving forward.
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
Dating 7/2008
Married 7/2014
H Type I Diabetic
TTC 1/2016
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL)
1/17/2017 SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility)
1/18/2017 STP tubes clear
2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation
H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements
6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility
7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm)
8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup
9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze
9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid
9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim
October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
@laurad75 hugs. i am so sorry you don't have more follies but hopefully these 3 are amazing and will give you 3 beautiful embies. Keep us updated on how things go on friday.
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Cycle/CD: 17/12
For this cycle, I go back in on Thurs to see if my 1 maturing follicle has progressed enough. Yesterday it was only at 10mm and only 1 was maturing. The nurse said they like to see multiple follicles in a medicated cycle and they'd expect them to be further along at this point. So I'm hoping it's not a wasted cycle. If I end up with just 1 follicle, I suppose that means I didn't respond to the Letrozole? I was already producing 1 egg each month on my own so the whole purpose of this was to send more eggs down the tube. Hoping to have better news on Thursday.
GTKY: Besides The Bump or Fertility Friend, what's the most used app on your phone?
Facebook & Snapchat
@hartmich This board has been super quiet lately, it makes me sad because it's just a reminder about how many people have moved on while I'm still here. Super happy for them, sad for me. I hope you don't need IVF either
@wabash15 I love that your most used app is your calculator!
@tamalahoops I am so rooting for you and excited for you this cycle girl!
@Anna_1021 I'm glad having a plan has helped your mental health, I totally relate
@JuneRoseRuby I will be hoping YH's FSH is up too so it's not an issue
@magnolia131 I'm with you on trying to stay busy. I'm trying to do everything I can to refill my mental health cup every day and it's constantly leaking out from exhaustion.
@mrsdaddario Yay for new insurance! And YAY for Oing on your own! Waiting is the pits, the upside is at least you'll be waiting in nicer weather and can (hopefully) keep yourself busy in the sun! I am such a summer person so the winter really takes a lot out of me. The sun rejuvenates me! June is an awesome month to try
@laurad75 Hugs girl, let us know how it goes today with your appt. Hoping for great news
@eggplantface Yay for your ER! Fx so tight for you this cycle
@kiki75 I'm so sorry for the MF, that was me last month too. It is such an emotional roller coaster. Hugs, girl. I took some Ibuprofen before my HSG, no telling if it helped but I had no pain for mine.
@KristoKekerooni Wow that is quite the mixup for your office to do...uncool.
@zwink1 I'm not going to quote your whole post but "I'm just so sick of feeling like I'm standing in quick sand going no where." Yes. I hear you.
@leekat14 How are you feeling on Clomid? Any side effects?
@LadyMillil I'm so so sorry for the bad news you got. Would your RE move forward with IVF still? Sending you love and hugs.
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
AMAZINGLY. And I love hearing speakers who seem to just GET it. It's rare, and I am so happy to hear you felt it.
Religion talk in spoiler... long.
1:TW- with my first loss, someone sent me a link to the song "Perfect Way to Start" by Craig Allen. It got me through my next three losses and I still randomly go back and watch on tough loss-related days.
2: I think my next big "help" was one line in one song- "The wind and waves still know Your name" The whole song is golden, but that particular line really resonated and reminded me that everything-everything- has to answer to Him. This infertility devil still has to abide by Him. He has control. "Let go, my Soul, and TRUST in HIM" It's SO freaking hard to do that, but it helped me knowing that this was something that answers to Him, not to me.
3: "you have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved." I saw this line a few days ago on Pinterest and it resonated for me so much. I am really open about my struggle and actually have made many friends through it. A lot of these friends had never spoke to anyone about their IF struggles, but came to me after seeing something I posted, or hearing me mention our issues. In fact, I am working really close with one friend. She has been trying for 8 (?) years, but has been paralyzed by anxiety and fear and hasn't even gone to the doctor. She started talking to me after I was open about my issues. It's been MONTHS of quite conversations and gentle prodding. About a month ago she came to me and just said she felt so much at peace, and today she finally had her first IF appointment. Obviously we know nothing, but the fact that she finally had an appointment after so many years is HUGE. I can't help but think "maybe this is why."
anyway, I am so sorry it got so long, but 1. I feel you. and 2. I pray and hop that you can continue to find peace and understanding, and, above all, your baby.
(PS: I follow several IG that are "TTC inspiration" and they are really great. In fact, I just started on of my own and it's been cathartic to post what I am thinking and to have others respond with their takes on whatever quote I post, or even argue against it. maybe even if you don't want to advertise you can look some up, if that's the kind of thing that helps you? Even Pinterest? I have an entire board dedicated just to "I can freaking do this")
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
*religiously focused post follows*
@KristoKekerooni Well girl you've gone and made me cry reading your post too. Thank you so much for sharing. Every week at church I have to just accept that I'll be crying by the end of service. It has definitely been a trying time for me. I think God is definitely showing me through this that I have to trust him, there's no other option. As much as I try to control everything in my life, this is something that, clearly, I can't control. He's definitely showing me that. The hard part for me is then following through with giving up that control and trusting him and his plan.
Something the speaker this morning said that resonated with me and brought my tears that were pooling to completely spill over was "God is writing your story. You can't see the end but you are watching it unfold page by page. If you're in the midst of a dark place, know that God is with you in that dark place." Sometimes I feel so isolated and alone and forget to turn to Him. I love that your story is helping others and your friend's story made me cry. What a beautiful thing it is to help others through the darkness and pain you're experiencing yourself. That's really what it's all about. I'm going to look on IG now, I hadn't even thought about that before.
But even if You do not, I will be content.
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
I wasn't going to go this morning but really felt like I should. So I did. My therapist and I really clicked. And now everything you're writing today is really resonating with me too. I feel so strongly that God is saying I'm here. Thank you so much girl, seriously. Every time you share encouragement with someone, you never know how much that other person needed it. And I really did today. So thank you.
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@hartmich The (general not IVF specific) materials I got from my RE say "current data appears to indicate that small amounts of alcohol (1 or fewer glasses of wine or beer a day) do not interfere with fertility". In person she said "the alcohol thing is a myth" in reference to all fertility issues and treatments and that added that it can help men (which I thought was weird). Guess we had a sober January for nothing!
@JuneRoseRuby Panic attacks are the worst. I have a history of anxiety and was holding up pretty well lately until last week. FX you won't be in a position to have more of them and that everything goes well with your H.
@leekat14 I have that with MH too--it's really annoying. His job is very stressful and I get that but multiple days of non optional non spontaneous sex in a row bugs the shit out of him. I'm like, dude, I'm sorry, but you're going to need to get over it.
Diagnosis (If you've been): My RE said I have "Pituitary Pause", which I can't find a lot of info about online. Basically the way she described it is, "most people have a pituitary that tells their ovaries to ovulate the same day every cycle, but yours daydreams and then gets to talking to your ovaries whenever it feels like it", which explains why my cycles range from 29-45, but are never months and months long like if I had PCOS or something. H's semen analysis and all my bloodwork so far was normal so the pituitary thing is all we've got to go on for now.
Cycle/CD: 11 or 12/32
GTKY: Besides The Bump or Fertility Friend, what's the most used app on your phone? Wordfeud (it's similar to words with friends)
@laurad75 @hartmich @wabash15
@TravelingCouple @KristoKekerooni just reading the posts between you two was everything that I needed today! I've been struggling too with walking the line of venting frustration yet keeping my faithfulness. I think the hardest part for me is I've always tried to have control over things and when I was ready I was expecting His timing to be my timing. I believe that my pregnancy will be a testament of His goodness and grace. I know His promises and that His word says he will reward me with children. He gave Sarah a baby when she was 90 years old. The hardest part is just accepting the wait and that His time is the best time. I just ordered a book online that's a weekly devotional praying for your pregnancy and it goes into detail about what's happening that week for the development and how to pray for each of those things for the baby. For me this was a step of faith. I wouldn't have bought the book if I didn't stand firm on His promises and trust in Him that he can and will make it happen. He loves us and wants us to have the desire of our hearts. Knowing this keeps me strong.
@wabash15 what will be the plan for your next medicated cycle?
@tamalahoops girl my fingers are crossed so hard for you and your beautiful embryo
@Anna_1021 glad you are feeling hopeful and I hope the time passes quick to get to the IUI
@JuneRoseRuby I hope you get YH results back soon and that the clomid is working!
@mrsdaddario yay for O'ing on your own, hoping that the time passes quick and that the wait is worth it!
@laurad75 so sorry for the headaches :'( GL this weekend!!
@eggplantface congrats on the ER! Fx for great results!
@Kiki75 good luck with the hsg! I had one today and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be.
@zwink1 I hope that things start to feel like they're moving along and that you get more clarity about what the plan is going to be!
Thanks for the well wishes today ladies! H heard back from the doc, the Clomid IS WORKING!!! oh I really couldn't be happier! I feel like okay, we have a fighting chance! And hopefully the insane money spent on supplements will also do its job of helping morph and motility. So SA in May then an IVF plan after that. I really really really needed this. We've been slammed with more and more bad news every time.
Dating 7/2008
Married 7/2014
H Type I Diabetic
TTC 1/2016
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL)
1/17/2017 SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility)
1/18/2017 STP tubes clear
2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation
H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements
6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility
7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm)
8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup
9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze
9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid
9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim
October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
Married 05/21/2011
TTC Since Feb 2016
RE: Dec 2016 Dx: PCOS
5 rounds of Letrozole 5mg + Ovidrel + TI
BFP!!!! June 2017 // EDD: 04/01/2018
IT'S A BOY!
@JuneRoseRuby I'm so happy you got good news!!! And yes that book I'm always thinking to myself.. yup.. I could've written that myself. The chapter on how it affects your marriage is so spot on.
@beachbunnyxo123 @vintageandrea90 Waiting on God's timing is so hard. I've had to wait for things in my life before, of course we all have. But this is such a different level of waiting, patience and trust that I've never experienced before.
I'd be interested in having a thread to share our prayers and thoughts with each other. I don't want to take over this thread and make anyone feel uncomfortable. Let me know what you think.. If not a thread on this board then a group is an option too. I know it'd help me to be able to work through the faith part of this pain with others.
@beachbunnyxo123 Welcome to the board. Hopefully your stay here is short! I'm not sure what treatment they'll advise based on your results, but hopefully you'll get a plan soon.
@laurad75 Good luck on Friday! Sorry you only have 3 - but as you said one of those 3 might be THE one.
@TravelingCouple I'm hoping your follie will grow by Thursday. If the point of treatment was for more follies, they might recommend adding injectables into your cycle, or have you continue a higher dose of Letrozole for a little longer. I think you had mentioned that at the start of this cycle they had said there was a possibility of that. Either way, remember you are one step closer now so it's not a wasted cycle. I don't do OPKs when I have a trigger shot since the trigger shot is kind of your positive OPK.
I'm glad to hear your therapy session went so well. I teared up reading about you listening to the speaker. I'm glad you shared that. IF has actually brought me closer to God. I feel like I've been running my life like I'm in control and like the good things in my life are a result of my hard work, and now with IF I'm realizing that there's something higher than me, that good things only happen through Him, and that He wants me to sit back, relax, and enjoy the life he has planned for me - even when it's not going according to my plan.
@KristoKekerooni I love that quote - "you have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved"
@vintageandrea90 I'm working on the same things - choosing joy and being thankful. It does help, and even though IF feels really big, there are a lot of things to be thankful for. I was looking at your signature, and our DX and timelines are pretty similar - DX PCOS, TTC in Feb 2016, started seeing RE in Nov.
@vflux33 Welcome to the board. I have not heard of "pituitary pause" though I know I was tested for something related to my pituitary. They were pretty sure I had PCOS, but then they wanted to test and make sure it wasn't something with my pituitary that was adding additional complications. The testing came back normal. I think a lot of REs recommend IUI right away because it increases your chances. When my RE laid out all my options, he didn't mention TI in any of them. I had to ask about it specifically. My RE is letting us do TI, but every time I go there, it seems the nurses are assuming I'm doing IUI, so I think a lot of people just go straight to IUI. MH was uncomfortable with going straight to IUI as well, which is why we settled on TI.
Dating 7/2008
Married 7/2014
H Type I Diabetic
TTC 1/2016
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL)
1/17/2017 SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility)
1/18/2017 STP tubes clear
2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation
H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements
6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility
7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm)
8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup
9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze
9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid
9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim
October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
@beachbunnyxo123 Funny that you mention that, because I too have struggled with the "Promise." It's an uncomfortable fact that not everyone with infertility will walk away with a baby. It's just fact. So sometimes I sit here and think "Maybe it's His will for me to be Childless so I can be a testament to Him, and devote my life to Him." but then other days I kinda think "BullShit, there's no way. The Bible is EXPLODING with how much He loves children and how children are a gift. I don't think He desires anyone to be childless." moreover, I ask myself "Would I better serve Him with or without children?" And if the answer would be that I would become a missionary deep in the heart of the redlight district if I didn't have kids, yeah, I could see him wanting me to be childless. but to be frank, that ain't happening. I'll always be a chemist. Kids or no kids, I'm a chemist. Sure my job might change from pharmaceuticals to medicine or research or something, (who knows?) but I don't see that (with my limited vision) impacting the world for Him. But if I am destined to make some big discovery and become famous and talk about Him or something (that's a stretch) then I could do that with kids too, I think. I don't know. That's just the internal debate I have like, daily.
@JuneRoseRuby - What kinda increase are you seeing? I am ECSTATIC for you! It's funny because everything I have ready says that Clomid is sort of a "hail Mary" because it only works on very few men... but every single person I know who has taken it, it's helped. Tell us the numbers!!!! EEEEEKKKKK
@vintageandrea90 - It definitely isn't just your church. Mine too, that's the "issue" with young churches, I guess? But it's rough and I have had a few people say stupid things. going up for prayer and stuff at the end of service and being told "I think you are pregnant right now" (Uhm, no, I haven't ovulated yet, but thanks) and then things like "Just relax and let God work, You are getting in His way" Which doesn't sound all that stupid till you think about it. But it's hard! I did read an article floating around on facebook a couple weeks ago, I'll come back and link it later if I can find it again. It encouraged me to write a list about all the things I am thankful for regarding not being pregnant again. Here's my partial list:
That helped me realize that the last 33 cycles have not been a waste, even if they've felt like.
The article also was basically a mother who talks to her daughter about how much she was loved and cared for, but she took a long time to get to her. And the daughter looked at her mom and said something along the lines of "I know why it took so long, God was making me!"
And how true is that. How much more special is the little girl or boy that God spent this whole time making and waiting till just the right time to give her/him to you? Maybe not "special" to anyone else, I'm not saying IF babies are better or whatever. but just think about looking at the kids face as they grow and thinking "This kid was worth it"
@TravelingCouple - I'm down for either option!
@madspunk - I have the quote taped to my home mirror, next to the paper where my OPKs hang.
Edit: WHY SPOILER, WHY?
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@vflux33 I remember you! Welcome back. Sorry to see you here at this thread. I haven't heard of pituitary pause before. It sounds like how my RE explained my elevated FSH she said it's working harder to get my body to listen for it to O. Was there a reason she didn't want to check your fsh level?
@TravelingCouple I would definitely be interested! Maybe a weekly thread and if there's interest we can start a group?
@madspunk thank you!
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@LadyMillil I'm glad your moving forward with IVF still. From lurking the IVF threads it sounds like multiple rounds of ER to bank follies is not uncommon. Have you gotten on the schedule yet? GL
@beachbunnyxo123 well today is CD1, not a SS but I didn't expect to be. So I have my baseline US on friday and we will do letrozole 5mg, then estrogen (I tend to have a thin lining) trigger, then progesterone and prayer.
@JuneRoseRuby HOORAY!!!!!!
@leekat14 oh goodness girl! I hope your heads OK. You might not be laughing now but it will be a great TTC story later on! congrats on 2 beautiful follies and triggering! GL!!!
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019