If you're new to the boards and / or have been lurking for a while,
please introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about you so we can
get to know you! No judgement here regardless of which group you would
fall into (adopted / adopting / fostered / fostering / placed a child,
etc).
Me:28 | DH: 28
Married: 07-2014
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
*TW*
Re: March 2017 - Introduce yourself
I was born to a teenage mother who was (and still is) a raging alcoholic who was (and probably still is) in and out of jail. Due to her drinking issues (including while pregnant) I was born with a hole in my heart. A local church helped raise money for my surgery but she spent most of it on alcohol and who knows what else.
She was not a good mother (harsh I know) but I don't know if the blame can be placed 100% on her because the support system she had was not much a support system. At some point, she moved in with a guy and his father. They were really the only support she had. I grew up under the assumption this guy was my biological father (found out at 18 he wasn't). This guy was worse she was - in and out of prison. He also sexually assaulted me when I was younger (before I was adopted) as well.
While my mother was "working" with the courts to learn how to be a good mother, social services was called on her a number of times for missing appointments, me being severely sick and her not bringing me to the doctor / follow-up doctor appointments, etc
Before I was adopted, I was placed in foster care at 18 months old. The courts tried to help my birth mother a couple times to see if she was capable of being a mother. The courts eventually determined she wasn't capable of being a fit mother and eventually she lost all parental rights.
I met my birth mother again when I was 18 (the only change she made was getting worse). The only good thing that came out of meeting her was I no longer wondered "what if" when it came to her. I asked about my biological father and after some convincing she admitted the guy I assumed it was, wasn't my father and so she told me who my biological father was (he's no better than her).
I didn't contact my biological father for a few years after that because he is in prison for sexual assault of a child (his 2nd offense) and that hit home a little too hard for me. I did start writing him to get some information for medical records and things but we don't really talk about much of anything. He knows I'm married, etc but that's it. He has mentioned multiple times that he would like me and my husband to come visit him but I haven't visited so far.
I was sent to several potential families and sent back to foster care for one reason or another before finally being adopted just before my 7th birthday.
There's more I could mention but I am sure anyone reading this gets the idea. I am willing to answer any questions you may have.
Married: 07-2014
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
*TW*
Hi, so my husband and myself are on the waiting list for open adoption. We tried to get pregnant for a year with no luck. I knew that there was something wrong with me. We eventually went for testing the first round of test come back normal. When I did the dye test I found out my right tube is blocked. So the doctors told me that my only option was IVF. We paid the $300 to do the information session for IVF and I decided I couldn't do. I kind of always wanted to adopt my husband wasn't so sure. Then once I called an agency asked all the question he wanted to know we booked the seminar. So now 3 years later we are coming up on 1 year update for the adoption agency. I have my days where I'm excited and imagine that day when we get that phone call. I have started buying things for the baby. But then I have the days where I don't think any birth mom would pick us specially with how messed up my family and with some of my health issues.
My wife and I became foster parents a little over a year ago. We originally started the process with the intention of adopting; it's something my wife has always wanted to do. Instead, we started with a 10-year-old boy who was very much so on the reunification track. His story got us from the get go. After having him two weeks, we received a call for a 2-month-old, drug exposed baby who had just come in to care. Babies were not on our approved list (nor did we have ANYTHING for a baby) but again, her story got us. No one in the county would accept her as a placement due to her drug exposure and withdrawal. We did not know what we were getting ourselves into.
Anyway, the little boy reunified with his mother (who we adored!) and the little girl is still with us now, a year later. Her goal has been changed to adoption and she is quite possibly the best thing that has ever happened to us.
I should mention -- we started this whole foster care journey while we were still engaged, living in a 700 sq. foot apartment, trying to juggle school meetings, doctors appointments, and wedding planning. The little boy was RU about five months before our wedding and our little girl ended up being the flower girl in our wedding
I would never recommend foster care to any unmarried couple. It was HELL. But we are happy with the outcome and will be so, so relieved when her adoption is finalized.
@alihager11 - Welcome!
Married: 07-2014
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
*TW*
Licensed: June 2017
FS 1 placed with us: January 2018
FS 2 placed with us: March 2019