@secicc12 - my dog for sure but only seems to eat other dog's toys. Never rips up his own but tore apart my parents dog's bed in about 10 seconds last weekend - hes a jerk haha.
Me: 37 DH: 37 - Married 10.2015 ❤️ Canadian DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
This weekend is DH's aunt's birthday. She usually comes over from the West coast of FL and her and MIL go a few hours South to their aunts condo and spend the day relaxing and drinking, and then go out to dinner. Well this year I was invited (even though I can't drink) AND I AM SO EXCITED TO HAVE A DAY/NIGHT AWAY!!!
Also, last night my sister and I got into it because she acts like she's miserable living here all the time like we forced her to move 1200 miles away from her friends. She begged us for two years to move here and now she act's like an ungrateful little brat. So I told her nicely how I felt and she waaaay over reacted and ended up in her room sobbing SO hard for like an hour. Confession: I didn't feel bad at all. Really, I thought it was hilarious. She's 16 and acts like she can talk to me however she wants. I mean, DH and I are only 24 but we are still the adultsssss. Lol.
I don't have empathy or sympathy for people that get upset at things when they know what they're getting into. For example: a friend of mine decided to work for her husband's family company, knowing that they invade her privacy, but she complains about it nonstop. Sorry not sorry, find another job and set some damn boundaries.
My FFFC: I hate when people say they're "too much of a planner" to not find out the sex of their baby. That's just a cover-up for "I'm way too curious to wait."
Do not get me wrong - finding out the sex of a baby is an amazing surprise regardless of whether it's at an a/s or at birth!! But don't cop out by saying you're too much of a planner: a baby is a baby is a baby. The only thing you plan for differently when you know the sex is whether you're putting it in pink or blue, and what sex-specific decorations you can fill their room with (which, by the way, you have months to figure out after birth, because chances are that little thing is going to sleep beside your bed for the first few months).
Anyway, I was team green for DD (and likely will be for this one), but if I ever do choose to find out, I'll blame it on pure curiosity. I am a planner, so any gifts I get in advance are likely going to help me actually plan for a baby (diapers, wipes, white onesies, etc.) - not for what color he or she will wear home from the hospital or what color walls of the nursery will be.
+1 to all the "gifts" people get for DS. I'm all for the useful things too. He is the only nephew and grandson on both sides (for now) and everyone thinks they have to buy him 10 gifts each... NO! Please stop. Especially the dollar store knick knacks. They all go in the trash or a bag to goodwill. He can't possibly play with 1,265 toys anyway.
just wanted to add my 2 cents to this. I've told all of my close family and friends that we do NOT want people giving our daughter gifts... well (I've recently amended this to) toys. My daughter is actually the first grandchild from both sides and I get it, they want to show her their love for her by giving her toys. Well, I'm a minimalist on toys and think they should be educational in nature and specific to their developmental needs. I'm in charge of buying toys for her and I don't need all the additional crap around the house. I've told everyone that books are always a good option but even better is just spend time with her... I rather you go buy her an icecream and be with her for an hour or take her to the children's museum. That is the best gift you could ever giver her.
Hm does this count? I want to punch our freaking tenants in the face!!!! They decided to break their TWO YEAR lease after 4 months because "their daughter was crying when it was time to go to school." So now we are looking for new tenants, received an application yesterday but the people have two freaking cats (i'm sorry but I freaking hate the entire idea of litter boxes). The management company is telling us to get over the cats because we can keep their deposit if it smells like cat piss. Then the cherry on top is the current tenants brought their own washer and dryer so we removed ours and the dumb@$$ property company relisted the property saying it had a washer and dryer and are expecting US to go BUY NEW washer and dryer for the house!!! ARE YOU EFFING INSANE?! I spent most of yesterday in full on toddler tears.
DON'T DO IT. We had two tenants who seemed great at first and ended up stinking the place up with pot and cat piss. They left litter everywhere in there and it was a bitch to clean up. And they were mad they didn't get their deposit back... Bad experience, but you really can't trust anyone.
Eh, that isn't really fair at all. We had other tenants after that, and the girls were sweet as can be and even did our landscaping for fun. They had a beautiful 20 lb cat, and left that place pristine. I guess with the previous tenants, we were just shocked that people actually live that way.
Eta, I just reacted to a bad memory, and then figured I would correct it before I gave all bad advice. I should have thought before I commented.
+1 to all the "gifts" people get for DS. I'm all for the useful things too. He is the only nephew and grandson on both sides (for now) and everyone thinks they have to buy him 10 gifts each... NO! Please stop. Especially the dollar store knick knacks. They all go in the trash or a bag to goodwill. He can't possibly play with 1,265 toys anyway.
just wanted to add my 2 cents to this. I've told all of my close family and friends that we do NOT want people giving our daughter gifts... well (I've recently amended this to) toys. My daughter is actually the first grandchild from both sides and I get it, they want to show her their love for her by giving her toys. Well, I'm a minimalist on toys and think they should be educational in nature and specific to their developmental needs. I'm in charge of buying toys for her and I don't need all the additional crap around the house. I've told everyone that books are always a good option but even better is just spend time with her... I rather you go buy her an icecream and be with her for an hour or take her to the children's museum. That is the best gift you could ever giver her.
That is a really sweet sentiment, and I couldn't agree more.
I guess my confession is that I don't like being pressured into going to someone's house if it isn't safe for my lo. I'd rather you come over over to mine, and you can't get upset at me because we can't have a darned conversation because I am too busy chasing my kid, who just turned one around because he is grabbing everything in his reach. I kid you not, a fully loaded crossbow, a fully extended pocket knife and a fully extended razor blade. Nope. You wanna hang out? Let's go to a restuarant, the park, go smelling and picking out candles... or come over, you know, things that are safe. She is my bf who is expecting, so I know that will all change soon. And I am not mad, because you just don't think of those things when you don't have a kid yet.
+1 to all the "gifts" people get for DS. I'm all for the useful things too. He is the only nephew and grandson on both sides (for now) and everyone thinks they have to buy him 10 gifts each... NO! Please stop. Especially the dollar store knick knacks. They all go in the trash or a bag to goodwill. He can't possibly play with 1,265 toys anyway.
Exactly this! DS is the only one for now on both sides and everyone feels the need to outdo the other family. This child has more toys than anyone in the world needs. I'm already dreading the amount of shit that gets bought when baby is born, bc God forbid they share toys. I'm already the bad guy bc I told everyone no gifts for his birthday in May... money only so we can put it towards his big boy bedroom. My family will respect it, but in laws definitely wont....
@lyndshurt@kristenk727@pbandjyummies I'm down with minimal toys and max time together, or cash for LO's college fund. MIL loves to shop and will get LO all the things (that I don't like), and my dad will get the kid about 80 bajillion books (I get about 8 for xmas each year). I've already told my brother that I'd rather he not purchase several teddy bears before the baby is born, but we'll have to remember to set some guidelines for the parents.
Regarding thank you notes, I was taught that if you open something in front of the giver (i.e. Christmas or birthday), a verbal thanks is all you need. If someone sends you something, a note is required partly as a confirmation that you did indeed receive the gift. The exception here would be showers, as those are formal parties thrown expressly for the purpose of gift giving, so a formal response in the form of a card is likewise expected even though you would have said thank you in person already.
Now, for me, if I don't get a note after a shower I'm okay with it because they did thank me in person. But on two occasions I went to 1st birthdays where the parents didn't open the kid's gifts at the party. I didn't get a thank you note for either or any in-person thanks for bringing a gift. A note (a text, an e-mail, a Facebook message) would have been nice so I know they at least opened it and knew it was from me, and no other party-goer stole it or something.
So my FFC is that I'm a stickler about receiving thank yous in some way, shape or form!!
I just spent the morning finding and making social stories for a kid who likes to put his hands down his pants and take off all his clothes (yay, special ed!). My search history is glorious right now.
@DeansGirl14 I'm with you.. I also can't stand the pre-printed thank you cards (although I guess it's better than nothing). DH and I hand-wrote our wedding thank you cards and then received one in the mail from a family member that was super generic basically saying "Thanks for coming and for your gift!" - The end. Not an ounce of thought went into that.
I just have to laugh at the teacher who is somewhat horrified by the idea of having to explicitly teach a kid expected behaviors. I'm like, "I've seen worse."
@SpotConlon I just had to do one last week for not putting our fingers in our poop then in our mouth while on the potty. Nothing elementary kids do/say phases me anymore. Guess it's a good prep for motherhood?
@lyse2143 YES & please give me money for LO's college fund!!! I am terrified to think of what college will cost by then and that is really the gift that keeps on giving. I've tried to nicely tell everyone to chill on the gifts but I was ignored. I also attempted to give some ideas/wishlist and that went over decently but didn't stop all the other 40 gifts from coming. I don't want to be a b**** about it because sometimes they do hook him up with clothes and shoes - which I go out of my way to make sure they know it's appreciated. But the toys, ugh. So I guess they'll just keep wasting their money.
I don't find "This Is Us" gut wrenchingly sad and sob worthy for every episode. I only teared up at one episode and it wasn't too bad. Btw, I am a huge crier pre-pregnancy at books/movies/ etc. From every FB comment I read, I assumed I'd be a bigger sobbing mess. I think I had a more teary reaction to a car commerical the other day.
I've tried suggesting the college fund thing. DH'S parents will not get on board. For DS'S first Christmas (6 months old) fil wanted to buy him a gun. He wanted to get him an engraved Henry rifle since his name is Henry. Now obviously we'd put something like that in our gun safe, however, I don't want him having anything like that till he's much older. I want him to understand what it is and how to treat it. Also, I don't want fil getting his feelings hurt and pout because DS wouldn't be excited (typical behavior for him). I suggested if he wanted to drop $800 that it would be a good start to a college fund. His reply? He wasn't paying for him to get something that could be taken away. Still trying to figure out what that meant.
They are over the top with gifts, don't pay attention to whether or not something is age appropriate, and buy the loudest toys ever. I've heard how they had to tell FILs parents to ease up on gifts when dh and sil were kids because Santa couldn't compete, but here they do the same thing.
Hm does this count? I want to punch our freaking tenants in the face!!!! They decided to break their TWO YEAR lease after 4 months because "their daughter was crying when it was time to go to school." So now we are looking for new tenants, received an application yesterday but the people have two freaking cats (i'm sorry but I freaking hate the entire idea of litter boxes). The management company is telling us to get over the cats because we can keep their deposit if it smells like cat piss. Then the cherry on top is the current tenants brought their own washer and dryer so we removed ours and the dumb@$$ property company relisted the property saying it had a washer and dryer and are expecting US to go BUY NEW washer and dryer for the house!!! ARE YOU EFFING INSANE?! I spent most of yesterday in full on toddler tears.
DON'T DO IT. We had two tenants who seemed great at first and ended up stinking the place up with pot and cat piss. They left litter everywhere in there and it was a bitch to clean up. And they were mad they didn't get their deposit back... Bad experience, but you really can't trust anyone.
Eh, that isn't really fair at all. We had other tenants after that, and the girls were sweet as can be and even did our landscaping for fun. They had a beautiful 20 lb cat, and left that place pristine. I guess with the previous tenants, we were just shocked that people actually live that way.
Eta, I just reacted to a bad memory, and then figured I would correct it before I gave all bad advice. I should have thought before I commented.
QFP
***TW in Siggy*** Me: 34 / DH: 33 Married: Nov 2011 TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014 TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
I am guilty of making a gift list for DS. His birthday is in November so it is for that and Christmas. I started making one because people kept asking what he wanted. I only share it with my mom, mil and sil, and they can share if people ask. I make it very clear at the top of the page that it is ideas only and it is not necessary to purchase from the list. I also include a bunch of info about DS. Like favorite color, books and interest. Then I list a wide range of gift ideas in different price ranges. It is just a tool to help them and they can use it or not.
I write thank you cards to people who send gifts. And I hate writing them I have horrible spelling and the hand writing of fifth grader it is such a painful process. I only send them to people who send a gift not for presents I open in person.
I don't find "This Is Us" gut wrenchingly sad and sob worthy for every episode. I only teared up at one episode and it wasn't too bad. Btw, I am a huge crier pre-pregnancy at books/movies/ etc. From every FB comment I read, I assumed I'd be a bigger sobbing mess. I think I had a more teary reaction to a car commerical the other day.
I feel the exact same way. I actually found out I was pregnant because I was crying over every sad moment on tv. Aaaaaand I'm adopted! Lol so if anyone should be in their feelings and boo-hooing, it should be me. But im not. It's still entertaining enough to watch though.
@SouthernMama15 I was nanny to a child who got a Shakespeare folio for her 1st birthday. I was vocal at the time about how insane a present it was, but now? Decent investment on behalf of the child, considering the resale value, and it's not like she remembers what else she got.
@lyndshurt if only I was as minimalist as SO. Alas, everyone knows I like my stuff. I'm not going to be able to pretend I'm Kondoing my life when toys disappear.
My solution to the toy thing was to ask my mom and mother-in-law to buy clothes instead of toys. We just get almost all her clothes for free and we don't get a bunch of toys and stuff we won't use. Originally I had asked that they just put money in her college fund but apparently that was rude for some reason.
@secicc12 If you end up buying any more gifts for your nephew, try buying through amazon.fr. When I lived overseas I did that all the time for gifts...international postage is insane, but ordering from a website in the other country makes it so much easier.
My fffc is that my kid pooped in the pool this morning and I didn't realize it until I took his bathing suit off in the shower. He's been doing so well with potty training I thought we were ok but apparently not. He was playing in (on?) the splash pad most of the time and that's when he pooped, but we definitely went back in the pool for a few minutes with poop. The mesh part of his swimming trunks worked like a charm.
@Nxy I was FINALLY successful to get MIL to stop buying fugly clothes for DD or entirely the wrong size. This year for Christmas they bought our Zoo/Science Center passes but still gave her so much crap and do so for every little time they think it's "justifiable." MIL is not good at gift giving. Like when DD was born, she gave me a house plant that needed cared for and re-potted. Because, you know, I needed something else to take care of (insert eye roll). I'm so thankful my parents gave each grandchild a game and gift cards to their favorite restaurants.
***TW in Siggy*** Me: 34 / DH: 33 Married: Nov 2011 TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014 TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
@secicc12 If you end up buying any more gifts for your nephew, try buying through amazon.fr. When I lived overseas I did that all the time for gifts...international postage is insane, but ordering from a website in the other country makes it so much easier.
This is an awesome suggestion. We use amazon.de all the time to get stuff here
I agree with everyone on not wanting my DS to be loaded down with toys and crap he doesn't need. At the same time though, he is the only boy grandchild on both sides and people love shopping for him. If they ask what he wants for Christmas/Birthday/etc. I always say he would love an experience or money towards a zoo membership or something along those lines like others have mentioned. If they don't ask, then we just get a bunch of random stuff, but I'm thankful they thought of him just the same. I try not to be the SIL with a list of approved gifts
@Nxy did somebody say to you that it was rude?! Get out of here! What greater thing could you do for your grandchild??? So we need to come up with a way to make this request work!
@secicc12 If you end up buying any more gifts for your nephew, try buying through amazon.fr. When I lived overseas I did that all the time for gifts...international postage is insane, but ordering from a website in the other country makes it so much easier.
This is an awesome suggestion. We use amazon.de all the time to get stuff here
Agreed, I'm totally shopping on amazon.fr for his gifts from now on. Especially since I buy them all on amazon to begin with. Thank you!
I'm a card/letter hoarder. I have thrown away boxes of old cards even I find them 3 years later, but I used to be an avid letter writer and I have kept almost every piece of real correspondence I've received. My mom was raised by "southern society" parents, so a lot of "proper" manners were instilled in me like writing thank yous. It's not how my in-laws do things, though, and I get a little miffed when we don't get thank yous for the gifts we give our nieces and nephews on that side.
Re: FFFC 3/10
DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
03.2016 - Natural BFP - MC 5w4d
04.2016 - Natural BFP - Chemical
10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.2017 - It's a BOY!
TTC #2 06.2019
08.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = Chemical
09.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFN
10.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #3 = BFN
01.2020 - IUI w/ Injections #4 = BFN
08.2020 - Natural BFP - MC 9w5d
11.2020 - IVF Retrieval - 3AB & 4BB
05.2021 - FET #1 = BFP, EDD 02.2022 - It's a BOY!
Also, last night my sister and I got into it because she acts like she's miserable living here all the time like we forced her to move 1200 miles away from her friends. She begged us for two years to move here and now she act's like an ungrateful little brat. So I told her nicely how I felt and she waaaay over reacted and ended up in her room sobbing SO hard for like an hour. Confession: I didn't feel bad at all. Really, I thought it was hilarious. She's 16 and acts like she can talk to me however she wants. I mean, DH and I are only 24 but we are still the adultsssss. Lol.
Do not get me wrong - finding out the sex of a baby is an amazing surprise regardless of whether it's at an a/s or at birth!! But don't cop out by saying you're too much of a planner: a baby is a baby is a baby. The only thing you plan for differently when you know the sex is whether you're putting it in pink or blue, and what sex-specific decorations you can fill their room with (which, by the way, you have months to figure out after birth, because chances are that little thing is going to sleep beside your bed for the first few months).
Anyway, I was team green for DD (and likely will be for this one), but if I ever do choose to find out, I'll blame it on pure curiosity. I am a planner, so any gifts I get in advance are likely going to help me actually plan for a baby (diapers, wipes, white onesies, etc.) - not for what color he or she will wear home from the hospital or what color walls of the nursery will be.
Eta, I just reacted to a bad memory, and then figured I would correct it before I gave all bad advice. I should have thought before I commented.
I guess my confession is that I don't like being pressured into going to someone's house if it isn't safe for my lo. I'd rather you come over over to mine, and you can't get upset at me because we can't have a darned conversation because I am too busy chasing my kid, who just turned one around because he is grabbing everything in his reach. I kid you not, a fully loaded crossbow, a fully extended pocket knife and a fully extended razor blade. Nope. You wanna hang out? Let's go to a restuarant, the park, go smelling and picking out candles... or come over, you know, things that are safe. She is my bf who is expecting, so I know that will all change soon. And I am not mad, because you just don't think of those things when you don't have a kid yet.
Now, for me, if I don't get a note after a shower I'm okay with it because they did thank me in person. But on two occasions I went to 1st birthdays where the parents didn't open the kid's gifts at the party. I didn't get a thank you note for either or any in-person thanks for bringing a gift. A note (a text, an e-mail, a Facebook message) would have been nice so I know they at least opened it and knew it was from me, and no other party-goer stole it or something.
So my FFC is that I'm a stickler about receiving thank yous in some way, shape or form!!
I have no idea how you special ed. teachers do it. From a co-teaching standpoint you all are miraculous.
My mom was special ed TS for years and said they used to have to practice, "hands on the table".
Very thankful I never had to experience that in my history of teaching. I thought PDA in school was rough on teachers.
I don't find "This Is Us" gut wrenchingly sad and sob worthy for every episode. I only teared up at one episode and it wasn't too bad. Btw, I am a huge crier pre-pregnancy at books/movies/ etc. From every FB comment I read, I assumed I'd be a bigger sobbing mess. I think I had a more teary reaction to a car commerical the other day.
They are over the top with gifts, don't pay attention to whether or not something is age appropriate, and buy the loudest toys ever. I've heard how they had to tell FILs parents to ease up on gifts when dh and sil were kids because Santa couldn't compete, but here they do the same thing.
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
I write thank you cards to people who send gifts. And I hate writing them I have horrible spelling and the hand writing of fifth grader it is such a painful process. I only send them to people who send a gift not for presents I open in person.
DS: 10/11/14
Whew...glad I am not the only one. Still behind a week, so the tearfest could change. Thought this pregnancy had turned me into an emotional zombie.
@lyndshurt if only I was as minimalist as SO. Alas, everyone knows I like my stuff. I'm not going to be able to pretend I'm Kondoing my life when toys disappear.
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
My mom was raised by "southern society" parents, so a lot of "proper" manners were instilled in me like writing thank yous. It's not how my in-laws do things, though, and I get a little miffed when we don't get thank yous for the gifts we give our nieces and nephews on that side.