I think it's really scummy when people qualify for assistance and use it when they don't need it. "well it's free!!" nope someone is paying for that for you but ok. You see this a lot in the military community with WIC. People come right out and say "well it's not like we need it, but it's FREE".. total eye roller for me.
We've already planned our first trip sans babies for post birth. We are going to NYC to see Hamilton and celebrate 10 years of marriage in Feb. I feel like I should have more anxiety about leaving my babies but I think we'll be ready for a break by then.
We had tickets and plans to go and see it in July and I was pretty bummed we couldn't do that now. So this is making me feel better.
mine is that I could have gotten to work in the snow today but I'm taking a mental health day and working from SO's place on the mainland. I was a mess yesterday and cancelled all my afternoon appointments, and today I'm just going to get back to stable.
I suppose that depends on who you're talking to. People who don't take assistance when they don't need it, no they'd probably agree with me. The several moms in mops with me who do take assistance not needing it because it's "free" yea, they got a little offended when I thought it was scummy.
We have to support our kids but sitting through concerts/musicals at times feels like torture and last night was one of those times. A 3 hour Annie production that started at 7...I was trying to stay awake by 9...the orchestra sounded crazy for most of the show. At what point does a mom say "baby perhaps we pick another instrument". My daughter...her voice and the other kids who sung were on point. Unfortunately she looked how I felt "over it" lol. She can sing but her acting skills not so much!!! Lord forgive me. Flame free...don't hate me.
My group of close friends just booked our annual couples beach trip for this summer. One girl and her husband have chosen not to go. I'm actually kinda happy she can't go...she annoys me sometimes and is way too dramatic about everything. I think I'll enjoy the trip alot more without her there.
@livlew I tried to keep everything now I only keep the holiday art work and the end of the year project. They come home with sooo much art work and other things they do in preschool, I don't have room for it all!
@LivLew ha! I legit still have a folder full somewhere of stuff from 2+...when I find it I'm tossing some of it lol...I do keep the really cute sentimental "you're the best mom ever" pieces.
@LivLew & @britvahok I only keep things my kids make like Christmas orniments, ceramics, and the like. Holiday art I'll hang on the fridge for the month of that holiday. If I kept every single thing from just my 2 that are in school, my house would look like an episode of Hoarders!
My FFFC... My hubby is off today, and I may be exaggerating my pregnancy symptoms so that he'll tag along with me & DD for some errands I need to run. I don't feel a bit guilty.
Hm does this count? I want to punch our freaking tenants in the face!!!! They decided to break their TWO YEAR lease after 4 months because "their daughter was crying when it was time to go to school." So now we are looking for new tenants, received an application yesterday but the people have two freaking cats (i'm sorry but I freaking hate the entire idea of litter boxes). The management company is telling us to get over the cats because we can keep their deposit if it smells like cat piss. Then the cherry on top is the current tenants brought their own washer and dryer so we removed ours and the dumb@$$ property company relisted the property saying it had a washer and dryer and are expecting US to go BUY NEW washer and dryer for the house!!! ARE YOU EFFING INSANE?! I spent most of yesterday in full on toddler tears.
@LivLew I can't stand clutter around our house.. every card, letter, etc. I toss immediately into the trash after reading it. I'll keep really special things, but mostly I just want it gone. DH is the opposite and is super sentimental above saving stuff. I just throw his stuff in a box knowing he will never go through it again.
FFFC of the day (probably more of a rant, than confession): I'm sick of buying our nephew gifts. He's 3 years old now and my SIL still makes and distributes LISTS of gifts he wants!! It totally boggles my mind. Think of a baby registry....but twice every year. She makes them for his birthday and for Christmas. Every time she sends us a link I totally roll my eyes. They also live over in France, so it makes sending gifts difficult. Plus she never sends anything for DH's birthday. I can't wait to see when LO arrives how many birthday gifts we get from her...
@secicc12 your SIL sucks! I cant even imagine having someone send me a list like that. My cousins each have a kid (and thats a long story) and we have bought them both gifts for christmas and their birthdays for their two years of life, but in both cases, we never get a thank you or anything. This year we didnt get to see one of them for christmas, and we gave the gift to someone else to give to him, and we never got anything from that. I really wanted to see a photo of him playing with it or something! It drives me nuts when that happens.
I guess my FFFC is that I really hate it when you take the time to give someone a gift for what ever reason, and they make zero effort to let you know they got it, or that they like it. I fully intend that if someone sends me a gift for baby, Ill make a note of it, and when the kid plays with it, or wears it, that that person will get a photo and a note from us. I wont do it with everything (becuase Im sure that some of the stuff we will end up getting wont be picture worthy), but mainly if someone sends us an outfit, or a cute toy. I also intend to write thank you notes for each person from the baby shower. I think its something that is dying off, but I think its really important to thank people for thinking of you!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@littlebug2010 I'm a HUGE written thank you note person. Like, required (for gifts given to me). I stopped sending my nieces and nephews birthday money because it was never acknowledged. #rude
@secicc12 we're the same person, married to the same man. I tell my husband he can have cards on the shelf for a month (Christmas, Bday, etc.) then it's trash. I have a cousin that made the mistake of telling me what she wanted me to get for her son for Christmas. I never bought that kid another gift.
My Flame today is the fact that immediately upon finishing dinner last night, I got sick. WTF I am 19wks, and haven't been sick in over a month. So my flame is essentially myself and the unpredictable pregnancy fun.
I will also jump on the gift bandwagon. My DH has adult cousins around our age, who have a 3yr old son and 1yr old daughter. Never get thank you notes, they never RSVP to things, nothing. We announced we were pregnant and he emailed them to tell them before we went public, they didn't even respond. I mean we live 20mins away and will have kids not super far apart- you would think we would get some reaction.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
Confession number 2: I'll probably never write a thank you note in my life. I'll call you, text you, maybe even email you a picture, but no thank you notes. And I'll blame it all in my background (there's no such a thing as thank you notes in Brazil) but truly I'm just too lazy.
Along the lines of gift receiving. I am all about sending thank you's for gifts when the baby is first born but no way am I sending out thank you's for every damn stuffed animal the ILs send DD for every little holiday (Halloween, Valentine's Day, just because, etc). The IL's neighbors send shit all the time too (I've met them once). I've made It very clear that I'm not sending thank you's for this stuff. Once I saw a post-it-note on MIL's counter that said she needed to include a thank you for DD's gift from the neighbor. Ever since I made it clear I'm not sending said thank you's, MIL has written us a thank you after every visit we've made to their house. IMO, this is ridiculous and she's trying to shove it in my face that I should be writing a thank you for every stinking thing. One more opinion, if it's that important to her, DH can flipping write the TY!
***TW in Siggy*** Me: 34 / DH: 33 Married: Nov 2011 TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014 TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
@bumpybump I should clarify, that I will not be sending thank you notes for every last thing we get, but I will plan on doing baby shower thank you notes, as well as notes to anyone else who might send something when baby is born. I do think that for birthdays and christmas, we will send thank you notes to those who sent a gift but we didnt see (which is what my cousins dont do, and it drives me nuts).
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
So maybe my FFFC is, I hate all the random gifts people give DD. She has enough random shit and doesn't even know a good majority of the people who send her crap!
***TW in Siggy*** Me: 34 / DH: 33 Married: Nov 2011 TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014 TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
Eh, in my family we ask for xmas lists. I try to put a range of things I'd like at different price points. When we were small, our parents coordinated to make sure the kids didn't get three of one item. Parents had a secret santa exchange going with each other. Now that all my cousins are in high school or older (so, "adults"), parents and children give each other gifts, and the rest of the family brings something for a yankee swap.
We were also sat down to write Christmas cards and thank you notes. Because, manners.
What they said ^. I send my MIL a message that's like "hey got your package thank you!" On messenger but actual thank you cards aren't going to happen.
I need a couple of you non pack rats to come help me de-clutter my house. DH keeps so much crap. I need to just get hard and throw it all away but for some stupid reason my brain is like oh DH wanted this and sets it aside..
I had 3 showers with DS. One at work, one with my family, and one with DH's side. I did thank you cards for work and started the others but never got them sent out. My mil invited around 90 people to my shower. I'd never met most of them and no one bothered to introduce me. People went in together and didn't include their last names so I didn't know who to send them to. I did stand up and thank everyone for coming and for their gifts. I'm slightly embarrassed for not getting them out, but I can't really change that now.
My FFFC is that I want to cut DHs family out of my life entirely. Part of this goes along with the gift giving that has been discussed. We are expected to show up to his cousins birthdays (jr high and high school) and expected to get everyone a gift for xmas. I told him that last Christmas was out last time doing that because we will have a baby next year making money tighter. They are also sooooo unsupportive and every time we go over there they tell DH what a piece of shit they think he is for random reasons. He just tells me that that's how they are and he's used to it. Ugh.
@SouthernMama15 I think in that situation, its totally acceptable to not send them all out. If that had been me, I think I would have made my MIL write them for me! My MIL is a pastor of a church, so there is a good chance that we will get random gifts from them as well, so I might have her send out the thank you notes to those people.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@littlebug2010 yes, fil is a preacher and sometimes has 2-3 churches at the time. Most of the guests were church members. It was so awkward, DH had a pregnant cousin there and I heard people trying to figure out which one of us was the guest of honor
My FFFC is on the same line as above - I now hate essentially all holidays. My mom, MIL, and even some friends buy my two SD stuffed animals and general crap for every. single. holiday. Our house is overrun with stuffed bunnies and bears and it almost makes me dread LO's arrival for the sheer amount of stuffed insanity we'll be seeing. And I can't throw any of it away because MIL LOOKS for them all when she's here.
@Nxy I know what you mean...part of me is glad I just let DH keep whatever cards/random gifts he gets. His grandmother died a few months ago and I know I would have felt guilty if I had "forced" him to throw away cards from her because they were cluttering the house. But then on the other hand, he kept these free magazines that we got at the airport last year. That sh*t went directly in the trash.
Eh, in my family we ask for xmas lists. I try to put a range of things I'd like at different price points. When we were small, our parents coordinated to make sure the kids didn't get three of one item. Parents had a secret santa exchange going with each other. Now that all my cousins are in high school or older (so, "adults"), parents and children give each other gifts, and the rest of the family brings something for a yankee swap.
We were also sat down to write Christmas cards and thank you notes. Because, manners.
I feel like a Christmas list within your immediate family is much less flame worthy... but when you're my SIL basically registering for gifts online for birthdays and xmas, then emailing the link to her entire contact list, that is over the top in my opinion.
@caity024 My DH's grandmother still gives each of the grandkids (so me DH and his brother who is 21 next month) stuffed animals every christmas. She has also started giving one to our dog, her great grand pup! So we just throw most of them away, but we are already prepared that baby will get thousands, and most will go to the dog!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@littlebug2010 is my dog the only one that rips stuffed animals to shreds? He loves pulling all the fluff out and then chewing on the creepy looking leftover fabric.
@Kudlica27 it's annoying because it wasn't intended to be a rental property. It was OUR house before DH took this new job. I never in a million years thought we'd be landlords. So I'm still pretty attached to it and nervous about people ruining it. I thought we'd have these people for their 2 years and then sell it and be done not have multiple tenants! Grrrr!!!
The problem with birthday lists and stuff is that you're EXPECTING a gift when really it should be appreciated not expected. I kinda hate getting our niece and nephew gifts especially after I was told they hid one of the things we bought because it was too noisy (It was a Little Mermaid shell necklace where the sea witch holds Ariels voice and our niece LOVED it) so last Christmas she got books and a board game. We never got thank you notes for anything we ever got them. Showers or birthdays. I actually enjoy the acknowledgment of the gift being received and appreciated whether it's through a text or an actual note.
I hate birthdays and Christmas bc that means junk added to my house ugh. Useful things I can appreciate. My dad this year got my son sneakers and my sister got him a hat n mittens. That was good. But toys and stuffed animals, blahhhh
@secicc12 My dog doesnt eat them, unless there are small things for him to pull off, like eyes or a hat. He likes to snuggle them. Hes an odd duck.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
Hm does this count? I want to punch our freaking tenants in the face!!!! They decided to break their TWO YEAR lease after 4 months because "their daughter was crying when it was time to go to school." So now we are looking for new tenants, received an application yesterday but the people have two freaking cats (i'm sorry but I freaking hate the entire idea of litter boxes). The management company is telling us to get over the cats because we can keep their deposit if it smells like cat piss. Then the cherry on top is the current tenants brought their own washer and dryer so we removed ours and the dumb@$$ property company relisted the property saying it had a washer and dryer and are expecting US to go BUY NEW washer and dryer for the house!!! ARE YOU EFFING INSANE?! I spent most of yesterday in full on toddler tears.
DON'T DO IT. We had two tenants who seemed great at first and ended up stinking the place up with pot and cat piss. They left litter everywhere in there and it was a bitch to clean up. And they were mad they didn't get their deposit back... Bad experience, but you really can't trust anyone.
+1 to all the "gifts" people get for DS. I'm all for the useful things too. He is the only nephew and grandson on both sides (for now) and everyone thinks they have to buy him 10 gifts each... NO! Please stop. Especially the dollar store knick knacks. They all go in the trash or a bag to goodwill. He can't possibly play with 1,265 toys anyway.
Re: FFFC 3/10
We had tickets and plans to go and see it in July and I was pretty bummed we couldn't do that now. So this is making me feel better.
mine is that I could have gotten to work in the snow today but I'm taking a mental health day and working from SO's place on the mainland. I was a mess yesterday and cancelled all my afternoon appointments, and today I'm just going to get back to stable.
My FFFC... My hubby is off today, and I may be exaggerating my pregnancy symptoms so that he'll tag along with me & DD for some errands I need to run. I don't feel a bit guilty.
FFFC of the day (probably more of a rant, than confession): I'm sick of buying our nephew gifts. He's 3 years old now and my SIL still makes and distributes LISTS of gifts he wants!! It totally boggles my mind. Think of a baby registry....but twice every year. She makes them for his birthday and for Christmas. Every time she sends us a link I totally roll my eyes. They also live over in France, so it makes sending gifts difficult. Plus she never sends anything for DH's birthday. I can't wait to see when LO arrives how many birthday gifts we get from her...
I guess my FFFC is that I really hate it when you take the time to give someone a gift for what ever reason, and they make zero effort to let you know they got it, or that they like it. I fully intend that if someone sends me a gift for baby, Ill make a note of it, and when the kid plays with it, or wears it, that that person will get a photo and a note from us. I wont do it with everything (becuase Im sure that some of the stuff we will end up getting wont be picture worthy), but mainly if someone sends us an outfit, or a cute toy. I also intend to write thank you notes for each person from the baby shower. I think its something that is dying off, but I think its really important to thank people for thinking of you!
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
I have a cousin that made the mistake of telling me what she wanted me to get for her son for Christmas. I never bought that kid another gift.
I will also jump on the gift bandwagon. My DH has adult cousins around our age, who have a 3yr old son and 1yr old daughter. Never get thank you notes, they never RSVP to things, nothing. We announced we were pregnant and he emailed them to tell them before we went public, they didn't even respond. I mean we live 20mins away and will have kids not super far apart- you would think we would get some reaction.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
We were also sat down to write Christmas cards and thank you notes. Because, manners.
I need a couple of you non pack rats to come help me de-clutter my house. DH keeps so much crap. I need to just get hard and throw it all away but for some stupid reason my brain is like oh DH wanted this and sets it aside..
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Eta spelling
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
The problem with birthday lists and stuff is that you're EXPECTING a gift when really it should be appreciated not expected. I kinda hate getting our niece and nephew gifts especially after I was told they hid one of the things we bought because it was too noisy (It was a Little Mermaid shell necklace where the sea witch holds Ariels voice and our niece LOVED it) so last Christmas she got books and a board game. We never got thank you notes for anything we ever got them. Showers or birthdays. I actually enjoy the acknowledgment of the gift being received and appreciated whether it's through a text or an actual note.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020